Is there a Full Moon Coming??

I am feeling really melancholy this evening. Usually that means a full moon is near.

Or it could just be that "time of the month". Same financial stresses as usual are still there, though I am working on a few ways of relief, which should come in the next month at most. I am trying to stay productive, by working on my website. I decided to finally take on the task of building a new website for StarrDom by using Yahoo Sitebuilder. My site right now is a snoozer, but at least I am ahead of 50% of the rest of entrepreneurs that haven't even put theirs up yet! Since I am getting ready to market it heavily, I want it to truly be my online brochure!

I am still working towards my goal of fall 2008! Time to live my life for real! I am ready to be happy and not just exist!

Was talking to the bff this evening about this new phase of my life in relationships. There is still this woman inside of me that is in a rush to get into a full on relationship and start taking active steps toward marriage. Yes, that is really who I was. But then there is this other side that is truly enjoying the no pressure and let the chips fall where they should approach.

This is one of those times that the first woman is winning. I don't know if Dante and I are heading anywhere, or if we just are...and I don't even know how to bring it up to him. What do I mean "don't know how"? Well, I don't want to put pressure where there doesn't need to be any. I enjoy what we have and I don't want to be the cause of us falling apart because I asked for too much too soon. BUT, I also don't want to look up and a couple of years have gone by, and things are no different than they are now. That's the part that's hard to adjust to. Could this lead somewhere, or is this just an interim relationship for both of us?? Does he feel about me like I feel about him...at all? Yes, I am starting to fall in love with him, but I'm scared to fall too much because I don't want it to just be me in that place by myself!

No really, that doesn't make a wuss. I just am not in the mood for a heartbreak anytime soon. I have finally been able to put the relationship with me and the New Guy behind me. I was a little more heartbroken than I thought, apparently. I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to be totally in love with him, and then he tells me one day (as we agreed he would if it happened) that he is interested in seeing some woman he met in Memphis on a more exclusive basis, ie excluding me. Maybe he is seeing someone else, but because he knows I'm falling for him, doesn't want to say anything just yet, knowing it would hurt me. While I on the other hand am turning guys away here, because I can't think of being with anyone but my sweetie! Wouldn't I just be the fool there!!

What??? I said I was in a weird mood, didn't I?? I will try to be normal tomorrow, whatever that is!