Summer's In Full Swing!

This has been a good week. Class is going well. Training is going well. I take my final this weekend and certification calls next Tuesday and Wednesday. The plan is to be making money by Thursday!

Monday I still want to go to the Y to check on scholarship options for me and the kids. I've been doing good the past couple of days eating healthy and very light. As a matter of fact, I went to McDonald's today and bought the kids meal, but didn't eat one single fry! That's right! I came home and made me a stir fry plate of eggplant, cabbage, broccoli, bell peppers, mushrooms, and asparagus instead! Then later on after that food settled (and honestly, I really felt full), I had some macerated strawberries (fresh sliced strawberries mixed with Splenda and a some balsamic vinegar) over a 1/4 cup of ricotta cheese.

According to my iPod Touch application called "Lose It!", I consumed approximately 421 calories today!

No, not hungry at all actually. Think I might keep this up for a while longer...

Moving Forward...but Still Behind

Today was a migraine day. I woke up with the headache, took 1000mg of Tylenol, and waited. It was still there several hours later. We went to see Night at the Museum 2, which I was a bit cranky because of the headache. The movie was good though. Lots of laughs. (Note: The Jonas Brothers as little cupid-like singing cherubs!) We came back home and I took yet another 1000mg of Tylenol. After hanging in there for about an hour, I went to sleep. I couldn't take it and I didn't like being in a constant state of crankiness. That's not fair to the kids.

By the time I woke up, it was back down to a manageable "dull ache" status. I can definitely deal with that!

My training class has been going very well. I plan to do a little studying tomorrow to be better prepared for the rest of the week. No class on Monday for the holiday.

I need to purchase my books this week for school that starts on the 1st of June. I'm back to making a conscious effort to change my mindset, to reprogram it for wealth, abundance and prosperity. I tell you one thing for sure, I don't want to "just get by"! I want to be rich! That doesn't make me a bad person! As one of my favorite sayings goes: "Shoot for the moon, even if you miss you'll still be among the stars." To translate that into what I just said about being rich: I'm aiming to be rich; even if I don't achieve it, I should still be at the very least well-to-do!!!

Looking Fabulous!!!!

Okay, I finally did it! I got my hair weaved! By a professional! In a shop! And I LOVE IT!!!
I had it done once before by Viv and it looked decent, but never again since then. I think I am hooked now!!

It's really about the length of my own hair, maybe a half an inch longer. Definitely fuller, that's for sure. But honestly, most would not know this wasn't my hair. It looks THAT good! My stylist says it should last 6-8 weeks before it needs taken down and done again. I already know I will have it done again! The great thing is that I can wash it like I would my hair, though I plan to hit the salon in 2 weeks anyway. I am determined to be a little more "high maintenance", as I call it.

I can't believe how great I feel. I may be motivated enough to get this body back in check too. Especially after watching an episode of the Biggest Loser the other day. Wow! Talk about an inspirational show! When you see women losing 125 pounds, surely it's enough motivation to know you can lose 40! Yes, I have crept back up to around 190 (maybe a little over). So I want to get to between 160 and 170 fit and firm. It's gonna take a lot of effort and sacrifice too. But guess what I know beyond a shadow of a doubt?

I am SO worth it!!!

Mom's Out

She went home Saturday evening. They tried to release her at like 9p on Friday night but, her blood pressure was 205/90!! I seriously think that was in the stroke range. Talk about a malpractice suit waiting to happen...

I told her very seriously that the smoking has to stop. It is no longer a matter of it helping her health in the long run. It is now a matter of her consciously killing herself by still lighting up. I told her those exact words, I didn't want to sugar coat it at all. I meant every word too. I do not want to lose my mother anytime soon. And - just as important - I couldn't bear to watch my grandmother outlive another one of her children. She's already done it twice...and she only had four children, for pete's sake! Maybe I should phrase it to mom that way...

In other news, today was Palm Sunday at church. It was a very good and engaging program today, talking about the bridge. The Bridge, of course, being Jesus Christ; since the only way to the Father is through the Son. Pastor also made a point to mention the sacrifice that God made made by allowing His son to die in our place for our sins and transgressions. I mean, who hasn't heard of John 3:16, right? "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..."
Yeah, that one. But have you ever really thought out the pain that must've caused God to see His son suffer and die...all for the sake of "everyone else"?? Could you do it? Then they played this short movie, and I swear there was a lot of sniffling when it went off. When you read that verse, it's easy to see it from a general and subjective point of view. This video really put it in 'layman's terms', as the saying goes.


MOST The Movie from Dano Magazine on Vimeo.

Mom's Been in the Hospital

She thinks she was having a heart attack. After having dealt with the pain since 1030p the night before, waking up with it, and going to work...then realizing it wasn't getting better, she finally excused herself and headed to the hospital. I got the call from Leigh and, since she wasn't able to go up there, I went. No matter that I had planned to start work on my new project that day...it was my mom, you know?

I got there while she was still in the waiting room, so she must not have been there very long. Usually with chest pains, triage gets them pretty speedily. She said they had already done the mobile EKG. She ended up getting three nitroglycerin pills before the pain subsided, then she was put on a nitro patch for continuous dosing every 6 hours. The "patch" was actually what looked like a piece of wax paper with thick cream on it, that was laid flat on the skin (cream-side down) then taped in place with sterile tape! Pretty high tech, huh?? She was hooked up to oxygen and heart monitors, and x-rays were taken and bloodwork drawn, and then they decided they were gonna keep her. They set up a cardiac catheter procedure for the next afternoon to take a look at the vessels for damage. All I know from that is there was some blockage, but not enough to do bypass surgery. I would love to know exactly how much there really is. Meanwhile, the brainiac that she is, STILL SMOKES!!!!

Heart disease and heart attacks are major news in my family. My grandmother has heart trouble. Both my uncles (my grandmothers only 2 boys) died of sudden massive coronaries. My mother has had at least one heart attack, and possibly another mild one some years back. This is really no joke, and I want her to get off the cigs period! This is ridiculous! I mean, it's like throwing gasoline on a fire!

On my own front, I haven't walked one time since I got back from my getaway. Yes, I know. I suck big time, but I have to get the habit re-established. My life really does depend on it.

Mom is supposed to get released tomorrow. They were planning to release her tonight but, when her blood pressure read 205/90, and she was on bedrest...they decided to rethink that plan! I honestly don't think I would have let her go myself. I looked at her chart, and even before the 205 reading came up, they were still all above 160/90. A few were like 183/104!! That's real bad, in case you were unsure! "Normal" blood pressure is 120/80. See the difference?

I spent all day yesterday before I had to get the kids, and then all day today after the kids' honors assembly this morning..plus I went back after I hit the grocery store for some items. The Officer volunteered to watch the kids, so Mom would have someone up there with her. I am glad I was there.

I will get into my project a little this weekend though, that's for sure. But only after Mom is home safely.

Big Day Tomorrow

I have a whole house to clean tomorrow! I am planning a barbecue for Bruzer's birthday Saturday, so that gives me a perfect excuse! If I do what I am supposed to do tomorrow, it's likely that alot of stuff will hit the trash! I may just apply the "organizer's rule" to it all: If hasn't been worn/handled/dealt with in the last 1-3 years (depending on my mood), give it away!!

Meanwhile, I walked two miles today on the course. Nice brisk pace, no trouble with the lungs either. Now, I just have to work on my eating habits again. I ate the last mini Reese's cup tonight, and I even gave away my beloved Red Hot Riplets to the kids!! I gotta get back to the beach...South Beach, that is! Yes!! As in South Beach Diet! It really worked for me. This time I just have to keep at it after Phase 2, and not put all those bad carbs (non-wheat pasta, potatoes, junk food) back in the body after I get to my ideal weight!

I may try something drastic to "jumpstart" this whole process! I will keep you posted after a couple of days, if I decide to do it.

All in all, today was a good day.

My First Day

I'm thinking I may start a solomommy fitness blog pretty soon, because I am serious about this. Those stats yesterday really smacked me hard, and I can't even tell you why!!!

I went walking today for about 20 minutes. I started late which is why I only walked one mile. I had to wait until it warmed up a little bit. But any morning it's nice enough for me to start at 830a, I will walk at least 45 minutes. I would love to find some walking trails that have a few inclines in them. But perhaps for a challenge in the next few weeks, I will incorporate walking the steps at Monk's Mound into my routine once a week.

I am really excited about this!!!

Getting back on track

Today was good. It was productive, and I didn't even stress when a setback occurred. UNLIKE yesterday, that is! I gave up on that new bank. I found out my old bank had closed my account. I went there and paid the balance due, and they allowed to reopen an account with them. Unfortunately I still have to wait for the much-needed debit card to come in the mail. But I did submit everything to the new travel host, and that's all they're waiting on.

I thought I could skate by with the old card and just update them with the new one, but they called me today to let me know they tried a preauth and it failed. OMG...just thought about it! Duh!! I can use my other debit card until my new check card comes in!!! I don't know why I didn't think of that!! I can't wait to call first thing in the morning! The good thing was, I didn't even stress about it.

In other news, I had my ultrasound today. They did the test two different ways, and found no fibroids. Yay! She also found no ovarian cysts. Yay! She did say there was 'junk' in my uterine lining, and I told her about the chemical D&C I am in the midst of. Her (the technician's) reply was she hoped it worked so I would have to have an actual one in the operating room. D&C stands for 'dilation & curettage'...which is where they basically scrape your uterine walls squeeky clean. Gonna try to avoid that one! I am starting to think that perhaps it is just hormonal. But I will wait to see if I get a call about abnormal lab results first, before jumping to conclusions. I'm just glad the ball is rolling on this!

And in the back of my mind I am wondering if this had anything to do with my tubes now being tied, and could reversal reverse these effects. Worth a thought...

I have decided after taking my blood pressure several times this evening on my new home monitor, that I can't keep taking chances. I want to be healthy and vibrant for a lot of years to come. Dig these cold hard facts from the Stroke Association's website:

Heart disease and stroke are major health risks for all people. But African Americans are at particularly high risk. Consider this:

• Blacks have almost twice the risk of first-ever strokes compared to whites.
• Blacks have higher death rates for stroke compared to whites.
• The prevalence of high blood pressure in African Americans in the United States is the highest in the world.
• Among non-Hispanic blacks age 20 and older, 62.9 percent of men and 77.2 percent of women are overweight or obese.
• In 2001, 27.7 percent of black or African-Americans only, used any tobacco product. Heavy cigarette smoking approximately doubles a person’s risk for stroke when compared to light smokers..
• Black women have higher prevalence rates of high blood pressure, obesity, physical inactivity, and diabetes than white women.

Woooooow!!! Harsh, a little? Hell yeah! As it should be! Even on this new medicine for 6days now, I still am testing at Stage 1 Hypertension levels...AND getting dizzy at times too!! Excuses are bullshit, I've gotta get moving!! I've got a LOT to do, starting immediately and time is ticking!! I know, I know....I have said it all before. It may take me a minute, but it's finally sinking in now. I PROMISE!!

A Bad Day

Talk about unproductive! Boy today was that day! I woke up with a slight headache, and it just progressed as the morning progressed. By the time I dropped the last kid off, I was barely making it. I stopped at Hardee's and got strawberry biscuits, then came straight home. I barely mustered through one of them, when I decided to lie down on the loveseat. I was trying to work on a flyer for a client - the guy who cuts Bruzer's hair now, and a friend of Viv. I sent him a text to say I was moving slow due to not feeling well and would try to get it to him this afternoon. He was so sweet though! He called me back immediately and told me not to worry about it today if I wasn't feeling well, and to make sure to take of myself. I thought that was nice. Wayne called to check on me, after I sent him a text saying I wasn't feeling well today too. He called back later to see if I was any better and asked me to call the doctor (which he knew I wouldn't do) to see if that was normal.

Meanwhile, I send Dante a text to say I wish he was here so I could lay on him because I wasn't feeling so well. His reply? 'Sorry'

Yes, he did lose a brownie point for that one!

Problem is, I went to the doctor yesterday and was put on a different hypertension medication. The last one was starting to make me dizzy a little too much...when I bothered to take it, that is. So, I knew that the debilitating headache today was due to my body trying to adjust to the new medication. That didn't make didn't with the discomfort any easier though!!

So, needless to say I got nothing done today. I finally peeled myself off the loveseat at about 2p. That gave me enough time to try and eat something, then head off to start picking up kids again.

SO that means, as long as I am feeling good tomorrow morning, I get to go do a few things I didn't do today. I have to pay something on my power bill ASAP. Since I have no news from the banker yet about everything being clear, I will have to deposit in the old bank so that I can get a new host agency ASAP. If necessary, I will change everything over later, but I can't wait past Monday to have a new host agency in place. Business calls!!

Life Keeps Moving

This past week has been a little bit emotionally taxing for me, to the point I have to fight from being depressed. Why? Trouble with Dante? Not at all. As a matter, things on that front are so blissfully great I have to catch myself from waiting for the sky to fall!

What's got me down is being Cody's counselor everyday while he goes through the beginning stages of accepting his HIV+ status.

I have been urging him over the last few days that, along with finding the right doctors, he needs to make finding a counselor or support group top priority. There is only so much that a person without this virus can advise someone that has it. You can imagine that person's feelings to an extent, but that's it! There is only one person close to me that can imagine how I felt when I found out about having HSV, and that's Wayne. And that's only be he has it too! The BFF nor Dante nor Kween, nor my siblings or mother can imagine what that felt like. I felt like I was ruined for life, that noone would want to be with in a relationship with me, that I was a bad person, that I was stupid for catching this in the first place, etc. So, in that respect, I can empathize with Cody.

BUT, mine won't possibly shorten my life span either. That's where the differences set in. I have only had 2 people in all my many years and many partners say they didn't want to be with me because of it (New Guy and the New Guy of the same name but different color). Cody will have to deal with a lot of rejection once he tells a potential partner of his positive status. So I can't help there. He needs to talk to the people that know better than me.

He is still at the stage of wondering if it's worth bothering living. That virus inside of him is in his every waking thought of every day. To top it all off he lost the woman he was in love with because of it!? He has a lot going on, but I have to be careful. I can only pray and try to guide him in the right direction, so that he can talk to the people that have walked in his shoes, and are now in a happier, more peaceful place of just living day-to-day like the rest of us...instead of feeling like they should be in a leper's colony! I even directed him to a website where he can possibly find someone that is positive like him, so that won't be an issue.

For me though, I have to keep my emotions and stress level under close watch. The virus I have lives in the nerves, so-to-speak. So , when I become an emotional wreck and am anxious or deeply stressed out over a period of time...there it is! I don't want to see it anymore than I have to, which means almost never. If I can control it without daily maintenance drugs, then that's what I'll do.

Just keep praying for my friend. I hope he doesn't do anything drastic, I would like to think he is stronger than that. But then again, I can't imagine what this must really feel like inside to deal with, so I don't really know what he is capable of.

No love tip today, sorry. (I may edit it later)

I Think We Still Have a Chance...

Actually, I pray we do is more accurate. I talked to him this evening. He called me. I didn't want to push, so I had decided earlier that I would let him call me. I am glad we talked. I know I did some serious damage to the trust in our relationship by doing what I did. I know I had my reasons for doing it, but they just don't seem all that important anymore. So we had a productive talk this evening, and it makes me feel better than I have been feeling since it happened. I didn't even get out of the bed today until well after 1p.

Thinking about all this with him has made me really consider something else. When I think back on people like the PsychoRev...I am so happy I had my tubes tied, because he surely wanted to knock me up. The only other benefit to it has been not worrying about contraception with Dante, we're ready to go at all times!

But that's the only good things. So, I have made a decision about my personal health. I'm getting my tubes untied! I know, huge news right?! I can't say when, but I am thinking about making it a 2009 goal to be honest with you. Dante and I may not even be together by the time I get it done, so I want to make it clear that I wouldn't be doing it just "for him". I mean like doing it to try and keep him...'cause I would surely do it if he asked me to. It would be for me. I would like to have the option again. I regret taking that decision away from myself so permanently. But, at that time, things were horrid in my life and I just didn't want to make it worse. So I made what I thought was the best choice at the time.

It just shouldn't have been a permanent choice is all. There were other options I should have considered first. I wanna give that gift back to myself: the gift of wholeness. No, I don't feel complete as I am right now. I feel inadequate and less than a woman by not being able to produce children. Hey, I'm just being honest!

But after looking at the testimonials and reading people's stories, I know I have hope. Some of their stories were way worse than I have...and some of them were a lot the same. Those are the ones that caught my attention, and how nice to see the 'happy ending' to it. I just have to set my mind to it, and start planning out a way to achieve this goal! It would be really nice if Dante was the one to be with me during this...so I'll throw in a prayer for that too!

Relentless!!!

The Joyce Meyer Women's Conference was this past weekend, and I really enjoyed it! WOW!!! I really, really enjoyed it! I got so much out of it! It was just things that I needed to hear. My bff came into town and we went together to 4 out of 5 conferences. She didn't make it to the one Saturday morning where Lisa Bevere spoke, and I almost didn't running late. But, I really loved her! She helped stoke my passion to learn to ride a motorcycle again! She even showed us a picture of her Ninja bike! I was soooo envious!

I didn't get to see the bff outside of the conference, since she was staying with her friend in St. Louis. There was a twinge of envy, but I really didn't get upset because that's how I expected it to be. I guess after that situation last year around my birthday having turned out so awfully, who can blame me!? I mean, point blank, when she comes here she stays with her...and that's that. She rants and raves about her daughter did this and said that. A little part of me always wonders if she ever does that to other people with my kids. Such as life, it is what it is!

Anyway, back to the subject...Creflo Dollar was on fire Thursday night! Joyce spoke both sessions on Friday. I caught the MetroLink over there everyday but Thursday. Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I went to this conference doesn't mean I was off the hook with the taxi service! I went to the 10a session after I dropped the kids off, came back and got lunch, picked up the kids, then headed back over there for the 7p session. It was so worth it...SO WORTH IT!!! I will be an "every year attendee" from this point on! Yolanda Adams and Darlene Zsesch (sp) were the praise and worship performers. My prayer was that I not lose that fire and passion for Christ that I had there. That I not lose that burning desire to never give up...to be Relentless!!

So far, so good!

In other news, my sweetie is feeling better. He's on the upswing, which makes me happy because he was definitely at the top of my prayer list. Kids are doing great in school. Mid-term grades look excellent!

Oh yeah, on a personal note...I cut my hair! I cut about 3 inches off. It was damaged, and I needed it done...and more importantly, I needed that change! I am happy I did it, very happy! Now, I will continue to take care of it like I always knew how, and watch it grow like weeds! I should see healthy armpit-length hair by my birthday 2009!

Going back on South Beach to get down to 170 too. I think I would be very happy with 170 toned, especially for my height. My punkin doesn't want me too thin, and it's not like I would even be considered "thick" now. I like the way I looked and felt when I first lost the weight back in April. I think I ended up at about 181 then, so 11 more pounds won't be that drastic! My punkin is not as assured however! That was a wonderful feeling of accomplishment I had going on then...and I want that back!

There is nothing I cannot do with God and my side. If God be for me, who can be against me? (Translation: If God is for me, it doesn't even matter who's against me...because I am already victorious!)

I made a promise before God, Joyce Meyer, my bff, and about 10,000 other women to Never Give Up!!! I meant it. I can't break a promise to God...

First Full Week!

You'd think I'd be blogging more since I have so much extra time, huh?

This week was fine, it was kinda hectic since I am still on scavenger hours. But next week's schedule is a little more comfortably set, though still quite a few evenings. The following week's schedule is absolutely fabulous! I couldn't have asked for better! I set my own schedules, by the way. But for the week of the 20th was the first time since I've been working this client that I have been there the minute the new shifts were offered! It's a date every week from now on!

I did receive my unemployment papers in the mail yesterday. I will not be making terribly much less than I was making working 40 hours a week! Go me!! I didn't go to the "free food and medical" office like I said I would early this morning, and so I have to wait until Monday morning. Gotta go first thing, because I have to be on the phones at 10a. Otherwise it will be when I am off the phones at 11a.

Speaking of phones, I finally got my second line installed on Wednesday...by Starr's grandfather!! The same person I was trying to get to come and do it in his off time! Whatever, it's done! They are not the most reliable, even I know that! We talked, I gave him a picture of Starr when I first did her hair that I printed out, all was well.

Haven't put exercising into my schedule yet like I want to, but it's coming! It has to, since it is a very vital piece of the reducing my blood pressure goal.

Off to cook dinner before I am back on the phones at 9p. Just think, at this rate, my business may be in the black by the end of the month!

Happy Monday...and stuff!

Things are pretty tough right now financially, so I barely wanted to get out of bed this morning. But I did, and had a decent morning getting ready. Made it to work on time, which is always good. Was almost in tears on the way there, but I pulled it together.

I am such an desperate financial state that I am willing to do something that was once unthinkable!

NO...not that!!!!

I am thinking about asking my first husband (ie, DJ's father) to give me the money. I mean, really, I have never in 11 years asked him for anything additional. Not for pictures or sports fees or when the power was off or when the water was off. Never. So, I have to work up the nerve to actually humble myself enough to ask.

Meanwhile, I am breaking down my inner me to figure out why I keep ending up at the same point in my life: broke, busted and disgusted! (as the saying goes) I am definitely making headway, and am currently in the process of changing that "stinkin' thinkin'" to a more fruitful, productive, and positive me!

By the way, if you as a woman are looking for a great book to help you "sort things out" and get on the "right track", PLEASE run to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of The Power of Focus for Women by Fran Hewitt!!! I know I have mentioned it before, but I can't say enough about it and how it is getting to the root of so many of my issues! After I finish this one, I will go back and read The Power of Focus by Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (Chicken Soup for the Soul series co-authors).

One thing I know I have to do, but haven't done is keep a money log. I need to be more mindful of every dollar I spend, so that I can determine where I bleed currency every month. It will be hard to do this week, since I have NO MONEY to watch, but nonetheless I have to begin somewhere.

I am glad to put this day behind me. I had a very bad email issue come up at work today from something I sent to those I thought were friends (and mature adults), and one person ruined it for all involved. I was so upset and embarrassed, that when I finally had to confront him about it, I let him have it! Sometimes these holier-than-thou, sanctimonious, I'm-better-than-you-
because-I-go-to-church-every-Sunday people are just TOO MUCH for me to deal with!! What they don't realize is that THEY are the reason some people avoid churches altogether...to avoid their judgmental asses!! After relaying the story to my mother, she summed it up quite nicely: "The devil won this round. Instead of everyone just focusing on the positiveness of the message of God, the message was lost in the mess that this other person created!"

So, my status message on yahoo currently states this: 'Funny how the devil uses people of God for his dirtywork...and they don't even know it!'

Ending this to say, quite simply, any and all esteem and regard I had for the Commander has left. I wish him the best, but all such foolishness and negativity will be cut from my life. It's a new day for me!

Food Day

Oh boy, did I overdo it today!! We had an Italian theme this time, and a couple of ladies made some REALLY good pastas! I didn't have large portions, actually smaller than normal....but I ended up eating seconds later that afternoon! PLUS, I had a piece of chocolate pie...AND...Birthday Cake too!!! I could actually FEEL the difference in my body....all those carbs and sugar....I did not like it one bit!

That makes me feel awesome! I haven't eaten anything since about 3p today...and I still feel full. I cooked dinner for the kids...and the smell of it was almost nauseating!

I can't imagine I will be eating much tomorrow AT ALL. There will surely be a Venti Caramel Macchiatto Nonfat Latte (with 1 Splenda) from Starbucks to start the day though, since I am off work. The way I feel right now...there probably won't be much more after that. I may do a day of Slim-Fast made with soy milk to clear my system out...or I may just do a V8 and fruit juice fast instead.

I am trying to decide what to do with my day tomorrow. I really need to work on my travel flyer design and perhaps get some copies made, especially since I have the paper already. A trip to the DMV to renew my plates wouldn't hurt either. More cleaning and organizing of my living room/office would be awesome! Laundry wouldn't hurt. Some vaccumming is much needed. Boy this list is getting long!

I do plan to do some training for my initial certification, because I want to have that finished as quickly as possible, so I can get on to possibly certifying for an actual client soon.

Still waiting to get the microwave cart out of the car...

Feeling Like A Rock Star!!

That completely describes my mood today!! I felt on top of the world!!

Why? The weight is leaving man...it's really leaving!

It started yesterday when I decided to try on a denim skirt that I haven't worn in almost 2 years! I looked so ridiculous in it, I just had to stop trying to wear it! But for whatever reason - even though the scale said 183 on my Official Weigh-In Day - I decided to try it on. And you know what? IT FIT!!

So, I tried on the other denim skirt and, it fit too!! Then...for my final trick of the morning (when I should have been getting dressed for work) I decided to try on a pair of the 'pretty jeans', as I call them. Why do I call them that? Well, they are nicer denim jeans, not for wearing tennis shoes with AT ALL. They are a Tall size, so they have a 34" inseam, which is perfect for my long legs plus my 3-plus-inch-heels. Best of all...they were only 9.99 at Newport News!!! I have not worn any of the 3 pair of size 12 jeans for about 2 years now. Last time I tried them on, I barely got them over my hips and ass...let alone anything near zipped! This time, they slid right up and fastened right up, with no holding of the breath required! I actually could still breathe while I was wearing them!

I was so stoked about that yesterday, and the fact that I was wearing the skirt I couldn't fit previously...that I decided to go for a repeat today. That's right ladies and gentleman, I wore a size 12 pair of jeans to work today!! Now that is what I call progress!! It definitelt nmotivated me to keep going!

To be continued...

It's Going

So the scale was a little better later in the week. I saw 183, which was encouraging. I talked to my sister about it and realized I hadn't been drinking as much water as usual, which plays a majore role in everything. So, I increased my water intake again to normal. I also made sure I didn't overdo it on the snacking. During the entire process, I have cheated twice. One was the day I had the carrot cake for Leigh's birthday, and two was yesterday when I ate a potato chip.

No, I'm serious. I ate one chip. That's all I needed, and the crave was gone...and it wasn't even a Red Hot Riplet!! Other than that, I have been sticking to my sugar free jello and my ricotta creme as desserts. I have some sugar-free fat-free fudgesicles, but I haven't eaten one yet, though Leigh said they are pretty good. I bought those to dip in Cool Whip Free, my own little frozen treat! I can't really do much more celery...not having good luck beating the stringy thing...even when I peel it! So, honestly, I think I have about one more week on Phase 1...and I am going to seriously need to see some fruit!

So I will weigh in this coming Monday or Tuesday morning, then again the following Monday morning, and that will be my official start into Phase 2. By that second weigh-in, I am truly believing to be 175. That is my first mini-goal on the way to my main goal. I can do it...South Beach can help!

A Little Discouraged

I was really excited last week when I saw 185 on the scale, and so of course I expected to be in the low 180s this week.

Um, no.

Apparently somewhere I have overdone it. So I suppose I am going to have to lay off for a while until I figure out where. Yes, I know I had that carrot cake, but really, is it that easy to blow your weight gain?? Granted, I didn't take my BP med yesterday, so part of this is water retention weight (my feet actually looked swollen to me this morning), Geez, if it would have still said 185, I may have been okay. But this sucker went to 187!! Talk about discouragement! And the last dream I had before I woke up was about me rushing around at work on my 30minuted lunch and getting White Castle burgers and onion rings!! I was even disappointed in my dream!!! I just thought this was the phase where you drop the most significant weight. Sorry but, 5 pounds in 2 weeks is not significant to me!

On that note, I am going back to take a nap before the my alarm goes off.

Moving Ahead

I sold my very unused keyboard last night. Nice kid, couldn't have been more than 21. He said a couple things that struck me as odd, which made me know who's child he was. I asked him if he had been playing long, since he said this was his first electric keyboard. He said he hadn't, it was something he had just started in January as a way to relieve stress...and it better than "getting involved in sex or drugs or anything illegal." That was a mighty bold statement to make, wasn't it?? I thought so too. After further inquiries as to him living in this area, I find out that he was gone for over a year doing missionary work with his church! That confirmed it! Very cute kid, how awesome to hear him so boldly make that stand!

We went to Leigh's to celebrate her birthday with cake. She had carrot cake, which was GREAT, 'cause I didn't want regular birthday cake. I wouldn't have cheated for that. Amazingly though I was good after a few bites. I ate it all though, didn't want to throw it away and I couldn't give it away to the kids! I didn't eat lunch though, so that helped calorie-wise.

I went to Aldi and grabbed a few more things for me but mainly stuff for the kids' dinners throughout the week. If I take the time to plan the meals, then we may be more likely to get things done. I didn't relax my hair still, and boy am I overdue! Maybe it will be tonight...

I made a decision last night when I went to bed that I was going to wake up this morning and workout. The alarm went off at 530a, and I got up! I took another load of laundry to the basement, did the washer-to-dryer switch, then brought a load up and sorted it for the kids. My TV is very close to going out, so it wasn't cooperating to do my workout DVD. So I went to plan B...my laptop! Worked out just fine, despite the distraction of a very large waterbug somewhere underneath my couch! Eclipse tried to get it, but it scampered out of her reach under the couch. Honestly, it was only 10 minutes working out, but it's a start! I would have done it a second time had it not been so late already. So tomorrow I will likely do it twice in a row.

Well, time to the wake the kids and hit the shower! Already heard from my sweetie this early, so my day is off to a great start!! Hope yours is too!

The Weekend So Far

Nothing great happened! I was busy Saturday doing the "Solo-Mommy Special". What is that, you ask? Why, trying to make a dollar out of 45 cents, of course!!

I did get a few things done though. Biggest purchase for me was a new vacuum cleaner. I wished I go without longer, but it's been 2 weeks since mine burned out. With 2 shedding long-haired cats and a human who sheds like a cat (me), AND four children....there was just no getting around it anymore! So, I think I got a really great deal for $65. I tried to avoid Wal-Mart, because they are so unscrupulous sometimes...but unfortunately my budget just doesn't allow for Target (yet), and K-Mart is too limited in their selections.

I bought brightly colored paper from Sam's to make flyers with. I should have the flyers designed by the end of today. I researched several places to buy the paper, and Sam's had the best deal by far. I actually left Sam's spending less than $20! That's the power of a shopping list!!! I proceeded to Wal-Mart, where I found a better deal on kitty litter than buying it at PetsMart. I got most things on my list to keep me in sync with SBD, plus the vacuum cleaner. I brought a limited amount of cash with me -and the debit card is off limits- so I had to put a couple of things back at the checkout. No big deal. I will get them when I go out today, since I still have a little more shopping to do.

So, financially, things are still dire (aren't they always). But I have come up with a proposition for my ex-husband that I pray and believe he will accept. I think it's a bang-up deal that's a win-win for both of us! I will discuss it in my legal consultation on Tuesday first, then present it to him.

My sister may barbecue today, and everyone is invited over for that. I have some chicken breasts that I need to unthaw and marinate and hopefully grill there. That way, I can make my own Chipotle-style salad, which serves a dual purpose. First, I can control my budget. Second, I can control the caloric intake, so I know I am keeping in with my plan. My plan being to become more aggressive and strict the next 2 and a half weeks. I have 15 pounds to lose by April 18. I can do it!

After my first goal, I plan to enter Phase 2, and should hopefully get the other 15pounds gone by June. That will take me 155, which I think will be a really good weight for me. Seriously, I don't want to be skinny, I like my curves! I have been clearly warned by my sweetie that losing the ass is NOT an option! It's not quite Beyonce or J-Lo...but since I was slighted on the top end, it's all I've got!!

Healthy is the goal, which means that exercise HAS to begin this week! I researched and bought some really cool DVDs a while back, and I will pull them out and start using them. My sis and I are trying to coordinate schedules to hit the Y. I am glad we are there for each other in this. She may have weight to lose than me, but we are definitely in this together!