Happy Monday...and stuff!

Things are pretty tough right now financially, so I barely wanted to get out of bed this morning. But I did, and had a decent morning getting ready. Made it to work on time, which is always good. Was almost in tears on the way there, but I pulled it together.

I am such an desperate financial state that I am willing to do something that was once unthinkable!

NO...not that!!!!

I am thinking about asking my first husband (ie, DJ's father) to give me the money. I mean, really, I have never in 11 years asked him for anything additional. Not for pictures or sports fees or when the power was off or when the water was off. Never. So, I have to work up the nerve to actually humble myself enough to ask.

Meanwhile, I am breaking down my inner me to figure out why I keep ending up at the same point in my life: broke, busted and disgusted! (as the saying goes) I am definitely making headway, and am currently in the process of changing that "stinkin' thinkin'" to a more fruitful, productive, and positive me!

By the way, if you as a woman are looking for a great book to help you "sort things out" and get on the "right track", PLEASE run to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of The Power of Focus for Women by Fran Hewitt!!! I know I have mentioned it before, but I can't say enough about it and how it is getting to the root of so many of my issues! After I finish this one, I will go back and read The Power of Focus by Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (Chicken Soup for the Soul series co-authors).

One thing I know I have to do, but haven't done is keep a money log. I need to be more mindful of every dollar I spend, so that I can determine where I bleed currency every month. It will be hard to do this week, since I have NO MONEY to watch, but nonetheless I have to begin somewhere.

I am glad to put this day behind me. I had a very bad email issue come up at work today from something I sent to those I thought were friends (and mature adults), and one person ruined it for all involved. I was so upset and embarrassed, that when I finally had to confront him about it, I let him have it! Sometimes these holier-than-thou, sanctimonious, I'm-better-than-you-
because-I-go-to-church-every-Sunday people are just TOO MUCH for me to deal with!! What they don't realize is that THEY are the reason some people avoid churches altogether...to avoid their judgmental asses!! After relaying the story to my mother, she summed it up quite nicely: "The devil won this round. Instead of everyone just focusing on the positiveness of the message of God, the message was lost in the mess that this other person created!"

So, my status message on yahoo currently states this: 'Funny how the devil uses people of God for his dirtywork...and they don't even know it!'

Ending this to say, quite simply, any and all esteem and regard I had for the Commander has left. I wish him the best, but all such foolishness and negativity will be cut from my life. It's a new day for me!