Fear Conqueror: One at a Time

So, somewhere along the lines I got afraid to express my true feelings. Especially to Dante. I mean really, who want to take the risk of exposing themselves and it doesn't get reciprocated? We've all seen the comedies: "I love you Brad." "Uh yeah, me too."

Who wants that in real life? But you know what? WE only get one go around in this life, and why have any regrets? Life is entirely too short to NOT tell people how we feel about them. This applies to family too, you know. My sisters and my mom all end our conversations with "luv you", but it has become a little commonplace - though we absolutely mean it. So every now and then, we will make a specific statement to let one another know how we feel.

So, then there was another elephant in my proverbial living room that I had to face. Not hinting around to it, but actually telling Dante that I loved him. We talked about this long ago, and he told me that's something he's pretty serious about. You know, not saying those three words unless he truly means it. So, Miss Quick-to-fall has been pretty reserved about her feelings for him. For the most part of this almost 1 year relationship (October 17,2007 is when we met in person), I have refused to even acknowledge to myself that feelings of love could be there.

That is called living in fear. I have let fear consume me in too many areas of my life for far too long now. I will NOT be fear's prisoner anymore! (Sometimes, I wonder if I really told New Guy enough that I loved him - or at all)

Today my Punkin had a pretty rough day. Something happened that really threw him off his rocker. I don't think I have ever seen him that way, and I tell you I hated to see him leave. I just wanted him to stay with me so I could just hold him and love on him. You know what that's like, right? Well anyway, I was laying on his chest while we were sitting on the couch. I looked up into his face and right into his eyes and said, "I Love You, you know." "He looked back at me for a few moments, and with all sincerity said, "I know."

You know what? I was okay with that answer! Because I for darn sure didn't want him to tell me because he felt obligated. This way, I know when and/or if he does say, he will truly mean it. PLUS, I didn't do it just for reciprocation either. I said it because I meant it, and no other reason but that!

Let's see what's next on my Fear Conquering list! I'll keep you posted on my next victory when it happens!!