And the Roller Coaster Continues...

Things are back on the upswing right now. Shocking, I know! Not just as far as the relationship goes, but just life in general. I am going to look at a house tomorrow that I am believing for and have already thanked God that it's mine. (In the name of Jesus) It's a very cute house, single-story, maybe 5 minutes tops from here...so the kids don't have to change schools. Huge fenced yard in the back, the owner says all appliances (including dishwasher, shhh don't tell the kids) are less than 2 years old. He is very pet friendly. Yay! It's in my budget, comfortably! He may even consider selling it in the near future, since it doesn't look like he'll be stationed back here again.
I have a moving truck to pick up tomorrow morning. My goal is to get the large stuff out mainly, then I can make small trips back and forth during the week for the boxes and misc items. We'll see. Cody is coming to help, which is great.
Relationship-wise, I am re-focused on doing what I do best. You see, I haven't been practicing what I preach. Let me elaborate on that for you.
I believe strongly in taking care of my man...in every way. However, I have sank in to this "let's see what he does for me" mode, and now I'm unhappy. Is anyone else shocked?
Me neither.
Do you know I haven't been to Memphis to see him since our getaway trip in March?? And before that was January I think?? Oh yes, there could be excuses for it. Unemployed, kids, babysitting, blah, blah, blah. But frankly, excuses aren't allowed. One of the biggest things I preach is that if YOU won't do it, there is another that will. That goes for male and female, mind you.
When he comes to see me, I barely even try to look attractive for him. I can be so organic sometimes that I'm like "this is me, take me as I am". But damn woman, the man hasn't seen you in 5 or 6 weeks. If you know he's coming, be smelling good and dressed cute with your hair fixed at least!!! If he won't make it in til after midnight, I have some very nice "nightwear". Even if he won't make it in til 10p, care enough about him and yourself to stay dressed and looking nice. Because honestly it really does show that you care. It says, "Hey, I think you're special enough to really put my best foot forward for you."
Who wouldn't want that??
He's in Alabama this weekend at a black softball tournament. I've talked to him a few times today so far. To tell the honest to goodness truth, I miss him when I don't see him and I love him when he's here. No matter what I try to say, I'm still in love with him. Which does in turn cause me to put my guard in place (if not really "up"), just in case he chooses to go a different route. I want him for the long haul, I can't deny that. But if that is the path we are to take, it has yet to be seen.
I hope whatever the thing is with the "other person", that it's done. I still feel I have the number 1 spot locked up. However, I don't plan to give some 20% chick a chance to look like 80% either. I am thinking at this point there is a 90% chance he's staying in Memphis. Only we can decide if we still have a chance, given the distance. (Before you ask, yes I would move there if things became permanent) I think it can work with the distance, even as far as us becoming closer emotionally. But that requires letting go of past issues that prevent us from moving forward in the present. Since the distance played a major role in his marriage to the ex, he doesn't want to do that again. What he needs to understand is that we are different people, we are at a different maturity level, we are allowing ourselves to become closer in the amount of communication we have, and the differences continue. I felt as if, from the stories he told me, they both put up such walls during the dating phase, that they didn't give each other a chance to really know the other person before they got married. Her thing was that she wasn't going to move where he was and not be married. His thing was if he went to this particular area he was to be stationed at alone, he would likely cheat. Those were both things that could have been overcome. Cheating is a conscious decision that can be stopped at anytime. For her, if she was single with no kids and not established in a job or college somewhere...what was the reason for not moving? Conversely, even over our distance, I feel we've seen each other at our best and worst...and we're still here! The truth is, it takes effort and maturity for any relationship to work, and I think we may both be willing to do that.
I will keep you posted!

Say a prayer about the house!