So, let's start with Friday, shall we?
I got to work, and within 10minutes, Champagne's teacher was calling me!
"Hi, Kima-Shai?"
"Hi Ms. Alex! You're just calling to say hello, aren't you?"
"Um, no. (Champagne) has a fever of 101."
"Okay, I'm on my way."
People, I hadn't even gotten my first call yet. I hadn't even eaten my breakfast that I bought from McD's. Bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle meal with Cappucino. Yes, cappucino. #9 is my meal number, and yes I do eat a lot of them. If you saw the junk in my trunk, you'd believe me!
So I let my lead know, and sent an email to my manager at home to let him know I had to leave. Then, I picked up Champagne and headed to the ER. We signed in at 1050a, and finally checked out about 315P. At least they called us back so she could lay in a bed and take a nap. Meanwhile, I was entertained by emailing back and forth with the Commander. He was in a punchy mood this day, let me tell you! Oh, you want me to tell you? Well ok, I'll only say this much about it:
I was invited to be lunch!
No, that wasn't a typo.
Anywho, Can't Get Right/The One even called to check on his little girlfriend, which is what he always calls Champagne. He told me he'd call back but...yeah right, like I don't know better! So, after the ER people took XRays and swabbed her nasal lining to rule out pneumonia, flu, and RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), they decided on Bronchitis and (double) shot her up with antibiotics. They also sent a prescription home for me to have filled. Maybe. I bought cough syrup, isn't that good too? I mean they don't really know what's wrong, they're just guestimating bronchitis. My house sounds like a seal symphony as it is, so I'll take some good Equate Tussin CF - with the same dosage of medicine as in Mucinex - any day!
Well, after we left the ER, we headed up to the sixth floor where Ann and her husband were. Their daughter was zipping back and forth between the hospital room and the waiting room across the hall, still purposely oblivious as I call it. She was actually in the room when he died, but she was just as happy as if nothing was wrong. She was excited that her aunt was taking her skating that evening. She also had a birthday party the next day, which my oldest sister took my oldest kids to. Her time will come, and I pray for her and her mom when it does.
So Saturday, I stayed in sleep clothes all day! I did manage to: (trumpets sounding) RELAX MY HAIR!!! Yes, ladies and gentleman, it's actually straight again! And I even deep-conditioned it!
Sunday, I lounged around most of the day, then went to my Grandmother's house to wish my mom a happy birthday. She turned 57 on February 26th! WOOHOO!! I am definitely blessed there. My Grandmother turned 86 on the 21st! I bought my mom the first 2 seasons of Miami Vice on DVD. She has been asking about this for months, wanting to know if I would check the prices on ebay for her. Yes...I am the reigning ebay queen in my family! I just played along, cause I already knew what I would do. I had those sets delivered almost 3 full weeks before her birthday. She LOVED it!!! We stayed down there for several hours, then came on home. That was Sunday.
Back to work a full day on Monday, with no daycare calls. WOW! (the audience appauds)
Work was fun today. It was busy, but I was emailing with my best friend for the better part of the day. I was able to email just shortly with the Major also. Mainly our thing is yahoo chat and talking on the phone most evenings.
Yes the Commander and I were emailing too. Mostly R rated, yes again. We almost made a plan, but Divine intervention prevented such a thing from occurring!
Either we're gonna have to quit cold turkey(hold your breath)...or just do it and get it out of the way!
No, really.
I want him to be my friend either way, whether we do or we don't. So we might just need to get rid of that (ever-increasing) sexual tension, so we can move on to better things. Like hanging out on occasion. We may even have business dealings in the future.
Yes. I really would do it...and well!
So, here we are at Monday night, nothing exciting going on. The funeral is Wednesday evening.
Maybe I'll have something good to post tomorrow.
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February 26, 2007
February 22, 2007
Back to the Grind
So Champagne was well enough that she went back to school today, though she still has the cough of a 20 year chain smoker. That meant I went back to work today. I did put in 16 hours of sick time, don't know if I'll get paid for all of it. I did get my verbal warning today as well. Hey, what can you do?
I got to my sister's house to pick her up, and I could tell something was wrong. I was on the phone with my girl from high school, so I told her I'd call her back. I was right about something being wrong. We have a friend who is more like a sister to us, named Ann. Ann has 2 children, a girl and a boy. Ann is also married to a pretty cool guy...who is at this moment dying. A few months ago, they found cancer in his spine. When the doctors went in to get it, they noticed it had metasticized. Yes indeed, in my opinion, the WORST word in cancer is metastacized. That basically means it has spread.
He has had enough time to get all of their affairs in order, and as far as I know make peace with the situation at hand. My sisters usually speak in amazement at how much he has planned and taken care of during this time. He's even researched and planned a deck to be built on the house! But, my God, Ann is only like 37! He is not that much older! The children are 8 and 3. How absolutely heart-breaking is that! I feel so much for Ann right now. I just can't even imagine losing a husband. I humbly request your prayers of strength for Ann and her family at this time.
I called on the one friend I have that I knew would truly help me in prayer. That's right. The Commander brought all the right words out to help me talk to God on behalf of the family. After he finished typing - this was done through IM - I prayed a most heartfelt prayer using his words. I am exceptionally emotional, so of course there were tears. No of course I didn't let him know! I just thanked him sincerely and told him he was my angel tonight.
Well God is In charge and you should just pray for His Comfort and as the Lord that he's will be done. Ask God for comfort and strenghth for the family. Ask God to Provide understanding in the midst of this storm. Thank God for all that he has brought this man through. Thank God for Just being a graceful God. Ask that His Word be manifest unto the family. Pray to the lord that He just be God and God alone and do whats best to unite the family and ask that he be the Doctor and the Healer. He can do all things but fail.
Nothing else to say but: AMEN.
I got to my sister's house to pick her up, and I could tell something was wrong. I was on the phone with my girl from high school, so I told her I'd call her back. I was right about something being wrong. We have a friend who is more like a sister to us, named Ann. Ann has 2 children, a girl and a boy. Ann is also married to a pretty cool guy...who is at this moment dying. A few months ago, they found cancer in his spine. When the doctors went in to get it, they noticed it had metasticized. Yes indeed, in my opinion, the WORST word in cancer is metastacized. That basically means it has spread.
He has had enough time to get all of their affairs in order, and as far as I know make peace with the situation at hand. My sisters usually speak in amazement at how much he has planned and taken care of during this time. He's even researched and planned a deck to be built on the house! But, my God, Ann is only like 37! He is not that much older! The children are 8 and 3. How absolutely heart-breaking is that! I feel so much for Ann right now. I just can't even imagine losing a husband. I humbly request your prayers of strength for Ann and her family at this time.
I called on the one friend I have that I knew would truly help me in prayer. That's right. The Commander brought all the right words out to help me talk to God on behalf of the family. After he finished typing - this was done through IM - I prayed a most heartfelt prayer using his words. I am exceptionally emotional, so of course there were tears. No of course I didn't let him know! I just thanked him sincerely and told him he was my angel tonight.
Well God is In charge and you should just pray for His Comfort and as the Lord that he's will be done. Ask God for comfort and strenghth for the family. Ask God to Provide understanding in the midst of this storm. Thank God for all that he has brought this man through. Thank God for Just being a graceful God. Ask that His Word be manifest unto the family. Pray to the lord that He just be God and God alone and do whats best to unite the family and ask that he be the Doctor and the Healer. He can do all things but fail.
Nothing else to say but: AMEN.
February 20, 2007
A sigh of Relief!
I got my first comment today! Thanks Anonymous!! And no, The Commander is NOT a loser, he's actually a pretty great guy, from what I've seen so far!
Anyway, my little van passed the inspection today! Yay!!! You know the emissions inspections that most of us with "slightly older" model cars dread? Yeah, that one. Well, she passed! Once I get that transmission fixed, she'll be on fire!!! I can't wait either, because I'm ready to get us on the road again! Some weekend getaways will do me and the brood just fine.
Champagne (the female half of the WonderTwins) was sick today. No not really sick (fever was 101), just enough to keep me from working today. Just my luck of course. Did I tell you single parenting rules?? Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake? Daycare has a 24-hour rule about fevers, so I'll probably miss tomorrow too!
I know all you two-parenters are soooo envious, aren't you?
The Commander and I did have a cool conversation today. An additional ray of sun on this interesting day. Well, I can't say it was a bad day (even though this will count against my attendance record), and the emissions thing was so great!! He gave me some really great ideas to get a few extra bucks in the pocket. I will definitely take him up on that. I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Speaking of......(drum roll)......I got my website back!!!!! Yes, www.starrdom.com is back in business! Okay well right now it's just the filler page, but it's a start! I'm debating on which number to use, home or cell, for business cards and such. One of The Commander's many skills is website design. So I told him today that I am using a template builder to do my site, and then later when I am more profitable, perhaps I can afford him! What I dig about him is that he totally gets the concept of multiple streams of income, and he actually works it! Yeah I get it, but thusfar haven't worked it. He's definitely an inspiration in that aspect.
Okay, Champagne is sleeping right now, so I'm gonna go take this opportunity to get a few things done around here.
Anyway, my little van passed the inspection today! Yay!!! You know the emissions inspections that most of us with "slightly older" model cars dread? Yeah, that one. Well, she passed! Once I get that transmission fixed, she'll be on fire!!! I can't wait either, because I'm ready to get us on the road again! Some weekend getaways will do me and the brood just fine.
Champagne (the female half of the WonderTwins) was sick today. No not really sick (fever was 101), just enough to keep me from working today. Just my luck of course. Did I tell you single parenting rules?? Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake? Daycare has a 24-hour rule about fevers, so I'll probably miss tomorrow too!
I know all you two-parenters are soooo envious, aren't you?
The Commander and I did have a cool conversation today. An additional ray of sun on this interesting day. Well, I can't say it was a bad day (even though this will count against my attendance record), and the emissions thing was so great!! He gave me some really great ideas to get a few extra bucks in the pocket. I will definitely take him up on that. I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Speaking of......(drum roll)......I got my website back!!!!! Yes, www.starrdom.com is back in business! Okay well right now it's just the filler page, but it's a start! I'm debating on which number to use, home or cell, for business cards and such. One of The Commander's many skills is website design. So I told him today that I am using a template builder to do my site, and then later when I am more profitable, perhaps I can afford him! What I dig about him is that he totally gets the concept of multiple streams of income, and he actually works it! Yeah I get it, but thusfar haven't worked it. He's definitely an inspiration in that aspect.
Okay, Champagne is sleeping right now, so I'm gonna go take this opportunity to get a few things done around here.
February 18, 2007
Sunday's News
I didn't go to church today. Honestly I really didn't want to put my little van through the paces. She seems to be running hard lately. I know I'm on borrowed time as it is with my transmission. In case I haven't mentioned it before, my car's transmission won't shift past second gear. So I can't really go faster than 45mph. Hey, if it ain't one thing, it's another! That's life.
Anyway, I have so much to do this evening. My sister is throwing a dinner party for my brother-in-law's birthday today. Tomorrow, my friend is watching the kids at my house since they have no school. This is the friend who brings her children every morning for me to take to school. So, I have to make sure to clean my house. Otherwise, she is a clean freak, so she'd be cleaning the entire day! That makes me feel like crap. I don't need to voluntarily feel like crap. She's not being condescending or anything, she actually is trying to help. But, the difference is I can sleep with dishes in the sink or clothes out of place!
So on top of all else I need to be doing this evening -like maybe relaxing my hair, I've got to clean. I've got to do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, put all clothes away, vaccuum all floors, and make sure no papers are out place. No, my house isn't filthy, this is just preventative.
So anyway, I probably have never talked about her children. She has a boy and a girl. Girl is 12 and boy is 5. The girl is going through the usual preteen stuff, except for the fact that she is failing terribly in school. Her mother is basically to the point of giving up, and has told her and all who will listen so. Unfortunately, I have discovered, as sweet as she (the mother) is, her coping skills are failing her. She is too medicated, yet still incredibly stressed out. She is in denial about the youngest. He is in kindergarten, and has been problematic since day one. Now, his teacher is to blame for part of it, but not as much as she wants to believe. My opinion? He is ADHD, no doubt. I'm not a medication person, since I know how strong Ritalin is. I know she would never go for that. But considering we are three-quarters into the school year, and he is still in trouble almost daily, something needs to happen. This is not just my opinion either. The school has already made mention more than once, and countless others have thought it as well.
I found out through another friend that ADHD can sometimes be managed with diet, especially restricting carbs. I did some online research on it, and thought I would share the info with her. No, I wasn't that blatant! Honestly I think my daughter is ADHD (ie the title Space Cadet), and so am I. That was my angle to introduce the subject, to see if she would show any interest. You could have heard a needle drop on carpet! So, I'm done discussing it with her. From now on, I will listen only. I will listen to her complain about how the teacher is picking on him or just being unfair. I will listen to her yell at him almost constantly, but then get mad at her mother if she yells at him. I will continue to be exhausted every morning by then time I drop them off at school. Yes, even to the woman with four children, this little boy is exhausting. But I will not bring it up again.
I will work on me and mine. The Space Cadet and Space Captain (that's me) will try to restrict our carbohydrate intake to see if that helps our focus. I will help those that want to be helped that I can control. I want my daughter to keep her grades as high as they are and be more social. I want to better maximize my time and get my business up and running. So, while I will still occasionally talk about my mostly imaginary "dating game", for the most part my focus will be back on taking care of me and my family, and doing all to insuring our future.
You'll see...
Anyway, I have so much to do this evening. My sister is throwing a dinner party for my brother-in-law's birthday today. Tomorrow, my friend is watching the kids at my house since they have no school. This is the friend who brings her children every morning for me to take to school. So, I have to make sure to clean my house. Otherwise, she is a clean freak, so she'd be cleaning the entire day! That makes me feel like crap. I don't need to voluntarily feel like crap. She's not being condescending or anything, she actually is trying to help. But, the difference is I can sleep with dishes in the sink or clothes out of place!
So on top of all else I need to be doing this evening -like maybe relaxing my hair, I've got to clean. I've got to do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, put all clothes away, vaccuum all floors, and make sure no papers are out place. No, my house isn't filthy, this is just preventative.
So anyway, I probably have never talked about her children. She has a boy and a girl. Girl is 12 and boy is 5. The girl is going through the usual preteen stuff, except for the fact that she is failing terribly in school. Her mother is basically to the point of giving up, and has told her and all who will listen so. Unfortunately, I have discovered, as sweet as she (the mother) is, her coping skills are failing her. She is too medicated, yet still incredibly stressed out. She is in denial about the youngest. He is in kindergarten, and has been problematic since day one. Now, his teacher is to blame for part of it, but not as much as she wants to believe. My opinion? He is ADHD, no doubt. I'm not a medication person, since I know how strong Ritalin is. I know she would never go for that. But considering we are three-quarters into the school year, and he is still in trouble almost daily, something needs to happen. This is not just my opinion either. The school has already made mention more than once, and countless others have thought it as well.
I found out through another friend that ADHD can sometimes be managed with diet, especially restricting carbs. I did some online research on it, and thought I would share the info with her. No, I wasn't that blatant! Honestly I think my daughter is ADHD (ie the title Space Cadet), and so am I. That was my angle to introduce the subject, to see if she would show any interest. You could have heard a needle drop on carpet! So, I'm done discussing it with her. From now on, I will listen only. I will listen to her complain about how the teacher is picking on him or just being unfair. I will listen to her yell at him almost constantly, but then get mad at her mother if she yells at him. I will continue to be exhausted every morning by then time I drop them off at school. Yes, even to the woman with four children, this little boy is exhausting. But I will not bring it up again.
I will work on me and mine. The Space Cadet and Space Captain (that's me) will try to restrict our carbohydrate intake to see if that helps our focus. I will help those that want to be helped that I can control. I want my daughter to keep her grades as high as they are and be more social. I want to better maximize my time and get my business up and running. So, while I will still occasionally talk about my mostly imaginary "dating game", for the most part my focus will be back on taking care of me and my family, and doing all to insuring our future.
You'll see...
February 17, 2007
Did ya miss me?
It's been awhile. I know. Finances man, finances.
Things are better now. Taxes came in...taxes went out. All the bills got paid and caught up. So, I'm back on track now. That of course is the short version.
So what has happened during the blackout? I'm still out of shape and overweight. I still haven't relaxed my hair. I haven't been on a date. I had a date, but it was cancelled. Yeah, great huh?
Remember The New Guy? Yeah, that's a total loss. He finally admitted he made his choice. Who's surprised it wasn't me? Me neither.
Haven't really talked to PreacherMan much. Just not that excited about him. I get a player vibe when I talk to him. Maybe it's because he sounds so much like the WonderTwins' father. So, I'm cordial to him when I talk to him, but nothing is there. I have no real desire to meet him. At all.
The Major and I talk every day basically, either by phone or chatting on yahoo. I look forward to talking to him. I have already put a limit on this because he is far away. But we have a great time together, laughing and talking. I learn a lot from him business-wise just hearing about his day. I enjoy him, but I am very guarded. I just don't see it going anywhere. I don't know why...I just don't think it will get me to alter. No big deal, I am enjoying the ride.
The Commander? Him I like, though we have yet to meet. We were supposed to meet on the 16th for a movie date, but he cancelled on me. He's got some issues, as we all do. Not a bad thing. It just means we'll be friends and that's all. That is okay with me. Really. It is.
Really.
I haven't even met the man in person. We may not even have any chemistry. Yeah, he does seem like everything I could want. What's your point? Here's mine: So did the New Guy. I am in no rush to get into anything with anyone. Yes, if I had the choice, he would be it. But that is irrelevant because this is not our time.
He is very into getting his business marketed to the masses right now. I am also trying to get focused on business too. I am in the process of reading books. Kind of like my own self education. Right now I am reading Business Plan in a Day. After I go over it, I will go back and do exactly what it says to get my plan written. I am still debating how I want to do this travel part of my business. We'll talk about that later.
Having more family time right now...
Things are better now. Taxes came in...taxes went out. All the bills got paid and caught up. So, I'm back on track now. That of course is the short version.
So what has happened during the blackout? I'm still out of shape and overweight. I still haven't relaxed my hair. I haven't been on a date. I had a date, but it was cancelled. Yeah, great huh?
Remember The New Guy? Yeah, that's a total loss. He finally admitted he made his choice. Who's surprised it wasn't me? Me neither.
Haven't really talked to PreacherMan much. Just not that excited about him. I get a player vibe when I talk to him. Maybe it's because he sounds so much like the WonderTwins' father. So, I'm cordial to him when I talk to him, but nothing is there. I have no real desire to meet him. At all.
The Major and I talk every day basically, either by phone or chatting on yahoo. I look forward to talking to him. I have already put a limit on this because he is far away. But we have a great time together, laughing and talking. I learn a lot from him business-wise just hearing about his day. I enjoy him, but I am very guarded. I just don't see it going anywhere. I don't know why...I just don't think it will get me to alter. No big deal, I am enjoying the ride.
The Commander? Him I like, though we have yet to meet. We were supposed to meet on the 16th for a movie date, but he cancelled on me. He's got some issues, as we all do. Not a bad thing. It just means we'll be friends and that's all. That is okay with me. Really. It is.
Really.
I haven't even met the man in person. We may not even have any chemistry. Yeah, he does seem like everything I could want. What's your point? Here's mine: So did the New Guy. I am in no rush to get into anything with anyone. Yes, if I had the choice, he would be it. But that is irrelevant because this is not our time.
He is very into getting his business marketed to the masses right now. I am also trying to get focused on business too. I am in the process of reading books. Kind of like my own self education. Right now I am reading Business Plan in a Day. After I go over it, I will go back and do exactly what it says to get my plan written. I am still debating how I want to do this travel part of my business. We'll talk about that later.
Having more family time right now...
January 13, 2007
The Dating Game
So apparently, I'm playing it again. Kicking and screaming the whole way.
People, I don't like dating. I'm not good at dating.
So how about we not call it dating, ok? Yeah, yeah. That'll work!
Well, I think I've made some new friends. Can't say any are really love connections at this time. But perhaps because I was recently slapped into reality from The New Guy, I am bit more cautious now. My best friend would be pleased. But, unless she's reading my blog, she doesn't know...and doesn't care to know. Which is okay with me. Anyway, that's another story. We're all different, and have different ways of doing things. That's what makes us all unique, and yet the same.
First, there's Major. He's divorced with one child. Currently he is on the East Coast but comes back here once a month for his business. He owns his own company in addition the 22 years he's been in the Army. We get along well so far. We can laugh and joke very easy. There is definitely a comfortable feeling there. We chat on yahoo more than we talk on the phone, which is okay with both of us. He came in town this weekend and I got to meet him. He is my height standing face-to-face. Yes, I had on heels. I always have on heels! That doesn't bother me or him though. He's a gentleman, holding doors and things. We talked about family and world events and whatever came to mind. There was no awkwardness. We even watch the football game together. I think we'll see each other again.
Then there's PreacherMan. I have talked to him on the phone once now. We talked for about an hour. We started off laughing from the get-go, so good sign for me. He is a former US Marine (!), 12years, divorced with 3 girls (I laughed), and currently works for the state of Missouri. He is very interested in meeting me, but I want to take that one a little slower. He professes to be a minister and due to my experiences with ministers and the like (PsychoRev, the slumlord, The New Guy), I am very wary! I told him so too! We'll see what happens.
Then there is the Commander. I like him!! We have not talked at this point. We don't even have each other's phone number, on purpose. We will get online and chat for hours, and it's hard to sign off. He is very involved at his church, which is a plus for me. He is also former military, 12 or 14years I think, Army. He's 6'3", and from what I see has a very commanding presence (thus the name). He has two boys, 18 and 17. He is divorced. Y'all, one of the first times we chatted together, this man prayed! PRAYED!! It could be a ploy I know, but the prayer was wonderful...and very refreshing. He flirts a little, I flirt a little, but we keep the tone very respectable. He let me know tonight that he is not looking for a relationship right now, just a friend. Then later he confessed to me that if he was looking, I would be exactly what he was looking for, and to keep the friends option open for further developments. I thought that was cute.
That really opened my eyes to the fact that - like my best friend said- I should stop putting so much effort into dating (well, she specified online dating, which she personally doesn't like), and focus on the important stuff in my life. My kids and getting my business off the ground, for example. I am very cool with the idea of me and the guys being friends and getting to know each other first. Most especially the Commander. I definitely have some things within my own life and world that I need to get smoothed out. Then the whole dating thing will fall into place later, exactly when God says so.
I told you, I don't like dating. Dating blows.
People, I don't like dating. I'm not good at dating.
So how about we not call it dating, ok? Yeah, yeah. That'll work!
Well, I think I've made some new friends. Can't say any are really love connections at this time. But perhaps because I was recently slapped into reality from The New Guy, I am bit more cautious now. My best friend would be pleased. But, unless she's reading my blog, she doesn't know...and doesn't care to know. Which is okay with me. Anyway, that's another story. We're all different, and have different ways of doing things. That's what makes us all unique, and yet the same.
First, there's Major. He's divorced with one child. Currently he is on the East Coast but comes back here once a month for his business. He owns his own company in addition the 22 years he's been in the Army. We get along well so far. We can laugh and joke very easy. There is definitely a comfortable feeling there. We chat on yahoo more than we talk on the phone, which is okay with both of us. He came in town this weekend and I got to meet him. He is my height standing face-to-face. Yes, I had on heels. I always have on heels! That doesn't bother me or him though. He's a gentleman, holding doors and things. We talked about family and world events and whatever came to mind. There was no awkwardness. We even watch the football game together. I think we'll see each other again.
Then there's PreacherMan. I have talked to him on the phone once now. We talked for about an hour. We started off laughing from the get-go, so good sign for me. He is a former US Marine (!), 12years, divorced with 3 girls (I laughed), and currently works for the state of Missouri. He is very interested in meeting me, but I want to take that one a little slower. He professes to be a minister and due to my experiences with ministers and the like (PsychoRev, the slumlord, The New Guy), I am very wary! I told him so too! We'll see what happens.
Then there is the Commander. I like him!! We have not talked at this point. We don't even have each other's phone number, on purpose. We will get online and chat for hours, and it's hard to sign off. He is very involved at his church, which is a plus for me. He is also former military, 12 or 14years I think, Army. He's 6'3", and from what I see has a very commanding presence (thus the name). He has two boys, 18 and 17. He is divorced. Y'all, one of the first times we chatted together, this man prayed! PRAYED!! It could be a ploy I know, but the prayer was wonderful...and very refreshing. He flirts a little, I flirt a little, but we keep the tone very respectable. He let me know tonight that he is not looking for a relationship right now, just a friend. Then later he confessed to me that if he was looking, I would be exactly what he was looking for, and to keep the friends option open for further developments. I thought that was cute.
That really opened my eyes to the fact that - like my best friend said- I should stop putting so much effort into dating (well, she specified online dating, which she personally doesn't like), and focus on the important stuff in my life. My kids and getting my business off the ground, for example. I am very cool with the idea of me and the guys being friends and getting to know each other first. Most especially the Commander. I definitely have some things within my own life and world that I need to get smoothed out. Then the whole dating thing will fall into place later, exactly when God says so.
I told you, I don't like dating. Dating blows.
It's Saturday!!!
So the general consensus is this has been a long week. But yay, we all survived, and are better for it!
So. as for the highlights from "earlier". Yes, I did talk to The New Guy. We talked for about 15minutes. He finally got up enough nerve to call he said. He is really no further along in solving his dilemma. He said honestly he has used his coursework as a reason not to have to deal with it right now. He said he is not able to get much of coursework done -ironically- because he is so confused on this personal matter. What he did say that I totally agreed with was that he believes this is yet another trick of the devil to keep him from being focused and doing excellent on his coursework. As a reminder, he is studying theology to one day become an ordained minister. Hey, whether you belive it or not, that's exactly what the devil does.
He was also worried about me resenting him later if I moved over to where he is. We ended the conversation because he was tired, and I sent him an emailed response the next day. Here's the excerpt:
"Why would I resent you for making me happy? It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am happy with you and living my life according to God’s purpose, there is no room in my heart for resentment. When I said what I said about where we would live, you maybe thought I was saying it to win brownie points or something. I was not. I meant every word. That’s just who I am. And you know what? Quite frankly, even if by some chance I am not happy, there is still no room for resentment in my heart. In case you forgot my dear, I am a grown woman. You cannot ‘make me’ do anything I don’t already want to do. My choice to come to you would be just that, my decision. "
Did I make myself clear enough? So, he'll call me when he's ready...or not. I'm okay either way.
Yes, you're right. I have met someone else! No, I can't tell you right now. I've got more updates to do.
Then there is Emmarita (not real name). This is the friend I talked to through myspace, afterlosing contact with her in 1999!! We were best girls in high school, and then we had a major falling out. Typical high school stuff, but a guy was involved so you know the drill. We didn't speak for months, but we slowly came around. They got married and he joined the military, so we saw each other before they left. Of course they broke up, and he is definitely a deadbeat dad to those children. But like me, Emm is a strong black woman, she can hold her own just fine. I also got an email from our other friend, who I haven't seen or talked to since a little after high school, Dani (also not her real name). I haven't talked to her yet, but I will catch up this weekend for sure.
Life is short and this really makes me want to keep up with some of my older friends better, and make an effort to reach out to some new ones that I've been neglecting. I will keep you posted on that, of course.
Ending this on a high note, take a look at this link. If you don't know about the power of prayer and how good God is, this should help:
http://www.kmov.com/topstories/stories/kmov_localnews_070112_boysfound.33671421.html
So. as for the highlights from "earlier". Yes, I did talk to The New Guy. We talked for about 15minutes. He finally got up enough nerve to call he said. He is really no further along in solving his dilemma. He said honestly he has used his coursework as a reason not to have to deal with it right now. He said he is not able to get much of coursework done -ironically- because he is so confused on this personal matter. What he did say that I totally agreed with was that he believes this is yet another trick of the devil to keep him from being focused and doing excellent on his coursework. As a reminder, he is studying theology to one day become an ordained minister. Hey, whether you belive it or not, that's exactly what the devil does.
He was also worried about me resenting him later if I moved over to where he is. We ended the conversation because he was tired, and I sent him an emailed response the next day. Here's the excerpt:
"Why would I resent you for making me happy? It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am happy with you and living my life according to God’s purpose, there is no room in my heart for resentment. When I said what I said about where we would live, you maybe thought I was saying it to win brownie points or something. I was not. I meant every word. That’s just who I am. And you know what? Quite frankly, even if by some chance I am not happy, there is still no room for resentment in my heart. In case you forgot my dear, I am a grown woman. You cannot ‘make me’ do anything I don’t already want to do. My choice to come to you would be just that, my decision. "
Did I make myself clear enough? So, he'll call me when he's ready...or not. I'm okay either way.
Yes, you're right. I have met someone else! No, I can't tell you right now. I've got more updates to do.
Then there is Emmarita (not real name). This is the friend I talked to through myspace, afterlosing contact with her in 1999!! We were best girls in high school, and then we had a major falling out. Typical high school stuff, but a guy was involved so you know the drill. We didn't speak for months, but we slowly came around. They got married and he joined the military, so we saw each other before they left. Of course they broke up, and he is definitely a deadbeat dad to those children. But like me, Emm is a strong black woman, she can hold her own just fine. I also got an email from our other friend, who I haven't seen or talked to since a little after high school, Dani (also not her real name). I haven't talked to her yet, but I will catch up this weekend for sure.
Life is short and this really makes me want to keep up with some of my older friends better, and make an effort to reach out to some new ones that I've been neglecting. I will keep you posted on that, of course.
Ending this on a high note, take a look at this link. If you don't know about the power of prayer and how good God is, this should help:
http://www.kmov.com/topstories/stories/kmov_localnews_070112_boysfound.33671421.html
January 10, 2007
It's Only Wednesday???
Is is time for vacation yet???
Be back later with some exciting updates from yesterday! I'll give you the highlights like they do on the news (if you could call death, robbery, and destruction "highlights"):
Be back later with some exciting updates from yesterday! I'll give you the highlights like they do on the news (if you could call death, robbery, and destruction "highlights"):
- I talked to The New Guy
- I talked to a very good friend for the first time in almost 8 years
- I have the number for another good friend who I haven't talked to since sometime after high school
- I'm getting myself together!
"Film at 11"
January 8, 2007
"Call It"
Well, this is the point that I can sadly say we better call the time of death of the relationship between me and The New Guy. I got a brief email from him on Friday, only after I had emailed him twice. I didn't hear a peep all weekend. Even though there's a significant part of me that still wants to hold on because we clicked so perfectly, common sense is telling me the writing is on the wall. That's really too bad.
I have begun trying to make myself available to others. I corresponded with one guy first by email then chat this weekend. He was in the St. Louis area when he made his profile, but he has since relocated to Virginia. Ironically, he has a business here so he visits every month. I'm supposed to be meeting him for coffee sometime next Saturday afternoon. He sent me pictures of himself, three of them. Not disappointing at all, he's a decent looking guy. Looks like he's got a cool sense of humor. The chat got pretty intense last night, but I did let him that was just "in my head", and nothing like that would happen in real life. We exchanged phone numbers and I'm supposed to call him sometime this week to confirm the when and where. Here are the basics: 5' 10", average build, bald (by choice), nice smile, 39 years old, almost 22 year Army vet with about 18months to go he says, divorced with 1 child. I'll keep you posted.
I had even set up an 'adults-only' after hours meeting with Can't Get Right/The One for this weekend. Apparently divine intervention kept us from connecting though. Yeah, we'll keep trying.
After waiting ALL DAY on Saturday, I have a working and clean refrigerator again. The original delivery time was between 10-11 am, then it went to by 1p, then by 3p. Okay by now the majority of my day is shot. So about 530p I gave up. I told my mom about it, and she was getting herself very upset. I refused to be upset. I just simply said I would call them first thing this morning to have her refund ready when she got there after work. Then about 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. So there you have it! One thing down, a few more to go.
I still haven't gotten my sink fixed yet. I will take the part with me today, and go to a hardware store to have it replaced, then I'll try to do it myself.
The Slumlord and his wife responded to my letter with a doozie of their own. One that, in their haste, has caused them to start digging themselves a hole. I saw a relative of the wife's in the backyard on Saturday getting rid of the tree debris that's been there since the Ice Storm. Funny how you never mentioned it before, but when I brought it up in writing, all of a sudden it got done. Their excuse in the letter was that the insurance company was moving slow. Then explain to me why a relative of the wife was the one doing the removal? How do I know it was a relative? Because their personalized license plates matched the wife's maiden name! Then there are things in the letter that they flat out LIED about. Other things they just refused to address.
What's sad is that this man is supposed to be a minister or pastor of a church. All they are concerned about is getting their monthly rent every month, and don't want to do anything else. That, ladies and gentleman, is a Slumlord. I don't care how nice the neighborhood is, it is what it is.
On a lighter note, the WonderTwins father saw then on Saturday, for the first time since 2005. Yes I said 2005. The Bruzer of course didn't know him, but he was fine just the same. Ms. Thing was her usual 'hard' self when it comes to meeting strangers. She'll look at you and kind of smirk, but she will keep her distance. I even told her who he was, and she basically like "whatever". He gave them money about $60 and said he would be back the following weekend when he got paid again. For whatever reason, he went home and brought his girlfriend with him and, according to him, she had an attitude in the car. Because of that he only stayed about 5 minutes. I did take a picture of the three of them though. We'll see how this plays out.
Okay so cross your fingers that The New Guy totally realizes the error of ways and calls me to apologize and earn his way back into my heart!
What?
It could happen.
I have begun trying to make myself available to others. I corresponded with one guy first by email then chat this weekend. He was in the St. Louis area when he made his profile, but he has since relocated to Virginia. Ironically, he has a business here so he visits every month. I'm supposed to be meeting him for coffee sometime next Saturday afternoon. He sent me pictures of himself, three of them. Not disappointing at all, he's a decent looking guy. Looks like he's got a cool sense of humor. The chat got pretty intense last night, but I did let him that was just "in my head", and nothing like that would happen in real life. We exchanged phone numbers and I'm supposed to call him sometime this week to confirm the when and where. Here are the basics: 5' 10", average build, bald (by choice), nice smile, 39 years old, almost 22 year Army vet with about 18months to go he says, divorced with 1 child. I'll keep you posted.
I had even set up an 'adults-only' after hours meeting with Can't Get Right/The One for this weekend. Apparently divine intervention kept us from connecting though. Yeah, we'll keep trying.
After waiting ALL DAY on Saturday, I have a working and clean refrigerator again. The original delivery time was between 10-11 am, then it went to by 1p, then by 3p. Okay by now the majority of my day is shot. So about 530p I gave up. I told my mom about it, and she was getting herself very upset. I refused to be upset. I just simply said I would call them first thing this morning to have her refund ready when she got there after work. Then about 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. So there you have it! One thing down, a few more to go.
I still haven't gotten my sink fixed yet. I will take the part with me today, and go to a hardware store to have it replaced, then I'll try to do it myself.
The Slumlord and his wife responded to my letter with a doozie of their own. One that, in their haste, has caused them to start digging themselves a hole. I saw a relative of the wife's in the backyard on Saturday getting rid of the tree debris that's been there since the Ice Storm. Funny how you never mentioned it before, but when I brought it up in writing, all of a sudden it got done. Their excuse in the letter was that the insurance company was moving slow. Then explain to me why a relative of the wife was the one doing the removal? How do I know it was a relative? Because their personalized license plates matched the wife's maiden name! Then there are things in the letter that they flat out LIED about. Other things they just refused to address.
What's sad is that this man is supposed to be a minister or pastor of a church. All they are concerned about is getting their monthly rent every month, and don't want to do anything else. That, ladies and gentleman, is a Slumlord. I don't care how nice the neighborhood is, it is what it is.
On a lighter note, the WonderTwins father saw then on Saturday, for the first time since 2005. Yes I said 2005. The Bruzer of course didn't know him, but he was fine just the same. Ms. Thing was her usual 'hard' self when it comes to meeting strangers. She'll look at you and kind of smirk, but she will keep her distance. I even told her who he was, and she basically like "whatever". He gave them money about $60 and said he would be back the following weekend when he got paid again. For whatever reason, he went home and brought his girlfriend with him and, according to him, she had an attitude in the car. Because of that he only stayed about 5 minutes. I did take a picture of the three of them though. We'll see how this plays out.
Okay so cross your fingers that The New Guy totally realizes the error of ways and calls me to apologize and earn his way back into my heart!
What?
It could happen.
January 4, 2007
Rainy Days
Today was a dreary rainy day. I don't do well on dreary rainy days.
Seriously.
My mood goes all screwy. I'm still good on the phones for my clients, but I'm "off" attitude-wise.
Then it doesn't help that The New Guy has thrown me a serious curve ball. I really don't know what to think. Here's the skinny:
He told me he has feelings for someone else, as well as me. He said this came about very unexpectedly. Someone he has known for a very long time, they go to the same church together, there has been a mutual attraction for some time now. WTH?!?!?!?! I have not talked to him in a few days, as he has requested time to think things through. I had made my profile unsearchable on both dating sites I was on, and I told him so. I even answered 'the question' right before this happened, agreeing to be his girlfriend. But apparently this other person surfaced before I did, and he was already getting confused.
He has apologized profusely. He says that nothing has happened between them, that their attraction has been discussed. But, it was enough to make him reconsider us being together. He is not dumping me by any means. But he has also admitted that he wouldn't blame me if I didn't wait for him to figure things out. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and I am trying to give him the space he needs to figure this out. I am not being a doormat, I promise. I understand how it feels to be torn -even if only superficially- between two.
Yes I said it. Superficially. I am speaking positiveness into this situation. He said a few things to me today by email that led me to believe he really does want to be with me. Sounds self-delusional doesn't it? But I read somethings in his emails today that flat out let me know this situation is temporary.
No. I'm not putting myself on hold for someone I've known a few weeks.
Yes. I did make my profiles searchable again on the dating sites I belong to.
I will not try to contact him by phone again, until he calls me. I will let him make the moves. I send him an email in the morning to say Good Morning. He can make any additional moves from there.
Now, let me be honest. The connection with him was/is awesome. I have dissected the relationship thus far, and I just hadn't seen any red flags. With the PsychoRev, tons of red flags. At least a gajillion. We have talked about everything but credit, finances and taxes. We know a lot about each other's previous marriages and relationships. I feel like, we just know a lot about each other. I don't feel any different now, and I don't believe he does either. So the word of the week is Patience.
On a lighter note, I have been fasting this week. Well since Tuesday at least. I am going to plan for at least two weeks. I am pretty pleases that I have been making it so far, considering my hypoglycemia. I have been drinking juice, water, and eating apples and oranges throughout the day. Then I eat dinner, and that's that. I am kind of on this corporate fast with my coworker's church. Yes the church I went to before. I am actually proud of the sacrifice I am making. As a symbol of the sacrifices my Savior made for me.
Amen!
Seriously.
My mood goes all screwy. I'm still good on the phones for my clients, but I'm "off" attitude-wise.
Then it doesn't help that The New Guy has thrown me a serious curve ball. I really don't know what to think. Here's the skinny:
He told me he has feelings for someone else, as well as me. He said this came about very unexpectedly. Someone he has known for a very long time, they go to the same church together, there has been a mutual attraction for some time now. WTH?!?!?!?! I have not talked to him in a few days, as he has requested time to think things through. I had made my profile unsearchable on both dating sites I was on, and I told him so. I even answered 'the question' right before this happened, agreeing to be his girlfriend. But apparently this other person surfaced before I did, and he was already getting confused.
He has apologized profusely. He says that nothing has happened between them, that their attraction has been discussed. But, it was enough to make him reconsider us being together. He is not dumping me by any means. But he has also admitted that he wouldn't blame me if I didn't wait for him to figure things out. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and I am trying to give him the space he needs to figure this out. I am not being a doormat, I promise. I understand how it feels to be torn -even if only superficially- between two.
Yes I said it. Superficially. I am speaking positiveness into this situation. He said a few things to me today by email that led me to believe he really does want to be with me. Sounds self-delusional doesn't it? But I read somethings in his emails today that flat out let me know this situation is temporary.
No. I'm not putting myself on hold for someone I've known a few weeks.
Yes. I did make my profiles searchable again on the dating sites I belong to.
I will not try to contact him by phone again, until he calls me. I will let him make the moves. I send him an email in the morning to say Good Morning. He can make any additional moves from there.
Now, let me be honest. The connection with him was/is awesome. I have dissected the relationship thus far, and I just hadn't seen any red flags. With the PsychoRev, tons of red flags. At least a gajillion. We have talked about everything but credit, finances and taxes. We know a lot about each other's previous marriages and relationships. I feel like, we just know a lot about each other. I don't feel any different now, and I don't believe he does either. So the word of the week is Patience.
On a lighter note, I have been fasting this week. Well since Tuesday at least. I am going to plan for at least two weeks. I am pretty pleases that I have been making it so far, considering my hypoglycemia. I have been drinking juice, water, and eating apples and oranges throughout the day. Then I eat dinner, and that's that. I am kind of on this corporate fast with my coworker's church. Yes the church I went to before. I am actually proud of the sacrifice I am making. As a symbol of the sacrifices my Savior made for me.
Amen!
January 2, 2007
I Can Think Clearly Now
That's what I always say after giving myself a relaxer! It has been a long, long time. Which was a bad thing, since I was not maintaining it properly. Most people think it's a bad thing to stretch a relaxer, and it is if you don't keep your hair plenty moisturized! I didn't. But I couldn't do it one more day. I didn't want to wake up one morning soon and my hair not!! So I am relaxed again, though it is far from super straight which is fine with me.
Got a shocker today. After pouring my heart out to the New Guy in an email this weekend, I felt I was getting the cold shoulder. Much to my surprise today, I was! He tells me that my email really blew his mind. He said he had a lot on his plate and a lot on his mind right now. Then, he said something about unresolved feelings for another that he either needed to explore or dissolve. Ouch!!! And you were going to share this when exactly? Considering I was totally diggin this guy and had already told him I would be his girlfriend, this was HUGE! I don't know what to do from here. Do I give him a few days or a week, and then repost my ad in the personals? Oh yeah, I even told him I was making my yahoo ad 'unsearchable'. Am I honestly supposed to wait on him to try to spark this other relationship? Then what? If it doesn't work, he comes back to me? Um, that's not looking like a good option.
I am going to give him the time he needs, but I am also going make my ad searchable again. I will not be put on the shelf for anyone, perfect for me or not.
On another note, Can't Get Right/The One wanted to ring in the new year with me and his daughter. We were at my sister's house though, so we missed him.
I have GOT to get myself refocused!!!Now that the kinks are out of my brain, I may have a chance!
Got a shocker today. After pouring my heart out to the New Guy in an email this weekend, I felt I was getting the cold shoulder. Much to my surprise today, I was! He tells me that my email really blew his mind. He said he had a lot on his plate and a lot on his mind right now. Then, he said something about unresolved feelings for another that he either needed to explore or dissolve. Ouch!!! And you were going to share this when exactly? Considering I was totally diggin this guy and had already told him I would be his girlfriend, this was HUGE! I don't know what to do from here. Do I give him a few days or a week, and then repost my ad in the personals? Oh yeah, I even told him I was making my yahoo ad 'unsearchable'. Am I honestly supposed to wait on him to try to spark this other relationship? Then what? If it doesn't work, he comes back to me? Um, that's not looking like a good option.
I am going to give him the time he needs, but I am also going make my ad searchable again. I will not be put on the shelf for anyone, perfect for me or not.
On another note, Can't Get Right/The One wanted to ring in the new year with me and his daughter. We were at my sister's house though, so we missed him.
I have GOT to get myself refocused!!!Now that the kinks are out of my brain, I may have a chance!
January 1, 2007
New Year's Modifications
Yes, I did say "modifications" and not "resolutions". I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. You are automatically destined to fail with those! You know I'm right. Admit it.
Instead, I am doing some modifications to my life. Things to make it better, and help me to achieve my goals better. I'll do it in list form, how about that?
Start and keep a prayer journal. Even if it's only a line or two, I will write EVERYDAY.
I will lose weight and become completely physically fit. I do plan to try a Master Cleanse followed by a fruit fast for a few weeks every quarter. I want to exercise daily on my TotalGym, pick back up on my 100 crunches daily, and also do Winsor Pilates 3x a week.
Take better care of my hair and skin. First off, Ms. Lazy here has to actually wash her face more than just in the morning! Yeah that means, starting a nighttime ritual of washing my face and brushing (and flossing!) my teeth. I will wash and deep condition my hair weekly, avoiding heat, and protecting my ends to maintain length. I want my hair to grow from "brushing-the-shoulders" length to armpit length by the summer, and bra-strap lenth by my birthday in November.
I want to continue on the road to credit recovery with my microloans, paying as agreed. Also, I plan to clear up the smaller things on my credit report and work on more ways to put positive things on my report.
Become a steady seller on ebay. I want to buy at resale shops and resell on ebay, hopefully bringing in an extra few hundred dollars a month in profit. First off, I plan to sell whatever is unsused around this house, then go from there!
Start my virtual assistant company, StarrDom Administrative Services. I am in the process of deciding who my client base will be, and will complete my business plan in January. I also plan to join ytb for travel incentives.
Re-involve myself and my children in church and other social activities. I want to find more business networking opportunities for myself. I want to reinvolve my children in Scouts as well as another physical activity. Also, I want all of us actively involved in the choir at church.
I will add more as I think of additional Modifications that need to be made.
What about you?
Instead, I am doing some modifications to my life. Things to make it better, and help me to achieve my goals better. I'll do it in list form, how about that?
Start and keep a prayer journal. Even if it's only a line or two, I will write EVERYDAY.
I will lose weight and become completely physically fit. I do plan to try a Master Cleanse followed by a fruit fast for a few weeks every quarter. I want to exercise daily on my TotalGym, pick back up on my 100 crunches daily, and also do Winsor Pilates 3x a week.
Take better care of my hair and skin. First off, Ms. Lazy here has to actually wash her face more than just in the morning! Yeah that means, starting a nighttime ritual of washing my face and brushing (and flossing!) my teeth. I will wash and deep condition my hair weekly, avoiding heat, and protecting my ends to maintain length. I want my hair to grow from "brushing-the-shoulders" length to armpit length by the summer, and bra-strap lenth by my birthday in November.
I want to continue on the road to credit recovery with my microloans, paying as agreed. Also, I plan to clear up the smaller things on my credit report and work on more ways to put positive things on my report.
Become a steady seller on ebay. I want to buy at resale shops and resell on ebay, hopefully bringing in an extra few hundred dollars a month in profit. First off, I plan to sell whatever is unsused around this house, then go from there!
Start my virtual assistant company, StarrDom Administrative Services. I am in the process of deciding who my client base will be, and will complete my business plan in January. I also plan to join ytb for travel incentives.
Re-involve myself and my children in church and other social activities. I want to find more business networking opportunities for myself. I want to reinvolve my children in Scouts as well as another physical activity. Also, I want all of us actively involved in the choir at church.
I will add more as I think of additional Modifications that need to be made.
What about you?
Merry New Year
Okay so -once again- it's been awhile. Here are the updates:
I still don't have a refrigerator. I left my landlord a voicemail on Monday then again on Friday after no callback. This was the week before Christmas. He left me a voicemail telling me how he didn't appreciate me calling his house with an attitude. He also said he didn't know the refrigerator looked the way it did, but he was trying to do ME a favor!!! Do ME a favor?!?!?!?! Supplying a refrigerator for his property is doing ME a favor! Yeah, okay.
So I began my paper trail. Honestly I wanted to pack up my stuff and run from this place, since he definitely wants his key back (at least that's the way he acts). I wrote him a very professional letter detailing all issues that are currently being dealt with in the house, that need to be handled by him most expediously. I followed proper procedures, giving timelines to request all issues be handled. He finally called back to let me know he hadn't had time to look for a refrigerator so I could do it and let him know. The saga continues...
I really wasn't in much of a Holiday mood this year. I never did put up a tree. Things were just so heavy on me, I just couldn't shake it. Not like depression, just pressure. Everything is up to me pressure. I am barely maintaining, but I'm holding on in faith. Right now I am hanging in there for tax return season. That's my light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to get everything caught up and a little ahead, so that I can maintain my budget from there.
Things are going okay with me and The New Guy. We have been getting along really well, although I think he is getting scared and therefore retreating. He did tell me he has some school work that was getting behind that he is on a deadline for. So I told him I would be patient and allow him to do what he needs to do. I just hope he is not taking this as an opportunity to bow out. If so then well, it wasn't meant to be. I guess we will see, won't we? I think the best thing for me to do is just back off and allow him to continue pursuing me at his own pace. I feel like I'm getting a little too overzealous (as I have a tendency to do). To be continued...
I still don't have a refrigerator. I left my landlord a voicemail on Monday then again on Friday after no callback. This was the week before Christmas. He left me a voicemail telling me how he didn't appreciate me calling his house with an attitude. He also said he didn't know the refrigerator looked the way it did, but he was trying to do ME a favor!!! Do ME a favor?!?!?!?! Supplying a refrigerator for his property is doing ME a favor! Yeah, okay.
So I began my paper trail. Honestly I wanted to pack up my stuff and run from this place, since he definitely wants his key back (at least that's the way he acts). I wrote him a very professional letter detailing all issues that are currently being dealt with in the house, that need to be handled by him most expediously. I followed proper procedures, giving timelines to request all issues be handled. He finally called back to let me know he hadn't had time to look for a refrigerator so I could do it and let him know. The saga continues...
I really wasn't in much of a Holiday mood this year. I never did put up a tree. Things were just so heavy on me, I just couldn't shake it. Not like depression, just pressure. Everything is up to me pressure. I am barely maintaining, but I'm holding on in faith. Right now I am hanging in there for tax return season. That's my light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to get everything caught up and a little ahead, so that I can maintain my budget from there.
Things are going okay with me and The New Guy. We have been getting along really well, although I think he is getting scared and therefore retreating. He did tell me he has some school work that was getting behind that he is on a deadline for. So I told him I would be patient and allow him to do what he needs to do. I just hope he is not taking this as an opportunity to bow out. If so then well, it wasn't meant to be. I guess we will see, won't we? I think the best thing for me to do is just back off and allow him to continue pursuing me at his own pace. I feel like I'm getting a little too overzealous (as I have a tendency to do). To be continued...
December 18, 2006
The Weekend in Review
Well, the resident family mechanic looked at my van. He replaced the transmission filter, but could not repair the seal, since all three need to be replaced, and one requires dropping the tranny. That's a 2-day job so probably won't be tackled until after the new year.
My family got to see the fridge that was sent up yesterday. In all fairness (or maybe because I believe in the good in most people) the landlord has not seen the refrigerator. He was at his FT job while all this transpired. I didn't even have the desire to call about it yesterday. I will however be looking for my own fridge today.
My nine-year-old niece got the shock o f her life yesterday when, while playing in her dad's pickup truck, she popped it out of park and it rolled down the driveway into the street! She was fine and no cars were coming. She was sent inside and told to sit down on the couch by her mother, where she stayed until they left several minutes later. She was bawling by the time I got in there, and Mom was talking to her. Then her dad came in a few minutes later and she started again. She's definitely not the cry-baby type of kid either. I explained to her that nobody else there knows how she was feeling more than Tee-Tee because it happened to me at that age too. I told her I know she was terrified, but be thankful that nothing bad happened because I had to be immobile for two weeks for busting my knees wide open. I am 33 years old and still have the scars til this day.
I didn't get to relax my hair this weekend. So if it all falls out, you will know why.
The New Guy came over last night and didn't leave until about 2a this time. What we do is he comes over after I have put the kids to bed, that way they don't have to see him yet. Not until I am ready for them to ideally, which may be a few weeks from now. I am still on the fence about this one. Here's why. He's a bit larger than I am used to. I would not call him fat. I would say more like 'some extra pounds'. Losing 40 pounds wouldn't be too much. Never mind the woman in the picture (a staff member at Urban Network Magazine) this is good comparison to The New Guy's size:
That man, by the way, is the late Gerald Levert. Just passed this November at the tender age of 40 years old. The same age as The New Guy, I might add.
So, I don't what is holding me back here besides possibly fear of repetition. Maybe it's that intuition thing telling me to be wary. Or maybe I am just being paranoid about this one because of the last one. Everything else is there. We can laugh, we can talk, he has a real relationship with his children, he seems to be very involved at church and have a relationship with God, he has a great smile, and is handsome to me. He already seems to adore me, and has gone more out of his way in the first weeks of this relationship than most of the men in my past ever did. I can honestly say that if, when I first met him, he were smaller, I would be denying myself the ability to tell him I was falling in love with him.
Am I that shallow? I thought my vanity had toned down significantly over the years. But maybe it hadn't. I am not unattracted to him either. We have definitely gotten into some passionate kissing and even a wandering hand (or two). I wasn't grossed out or anything close to that. It was exactly the opposite, actually (blush). Maybe I feel like because he is not in better physical shape that I am settling for "less than the best"? But for pete's sake, is all the things I've never had before at the same time, in one man still not enough to trump one thing?
What the hell is wrong with me?!
Will work for free therapy sessions...
My family got to see the fridge that was sent up yesterday. In all fairness (or maybe because I believe in the good in most people) the landlord has not seen the refrigerator. He was at his FT job while all this transpired. I didn't even have the desire to call about it yesterday. I will however be looking for my own fridge today.
My nine-year-old niece got the shock o f her life yesterday when, while playing in her dad's pickup truck, she popped it out of park and it rolled down the driveway into the street! She was fine and no cars were coming. She was sent inside and told to sit down on the couch by her mother, where she stayed until they left several minutes later. She was bawling by the time I got in there, and Mom was talking to her. Then her dad came in a few minutes later and she started again. She's definitely not the cry-baby type of kid either. I explained to her that nobody else there knows how she was feeling more than Tee-Tee because it happened to me at that age too. I told her I know she was terrified, but be thankful that nothing bad happened because I had to be immobile for two weeks for busting my knees wide open. I am 33 years old and still have the scars til this day.
I didn't get to relax my hair this weekend. So if it all falls out, you will know why.
The New Guy came over last night and didn't leave until about 2a this time. What we do is he comes over after I have put the kids to bed, that way they don't have to see him yet. Not until I am ready for them to ideally, which may be a few weeks from now. I am still on the fence about this one. Here's why. He's a bit larger than I am used to. I would not call him fat. I would say more like 'some extra pounds'. Losing 40 pounds wouldn't be too much. Never mind the woman in the picture (a staff member at Urban Network Magazine) this is good comparison to The New Guy's size:
That man, by the way, is the late Gerald Levert. Just passed this November at the tender age of 40 years old. The same age as The New Guy, I might add.
So, I don't what is holding me back here besides possibly fear of repetition. Maybe it's that intuition thing telling me to be wary. Or maybe I am just being paranoid about this one because of the last one. Everything else is there. We can laugh, we can talk, he has a real relationship with his children, he seems to be very involved at church and have a relationship with God, he has a great smile, and is handsome to me. He already seems to adore me, and has gone more out of his way in the first weeks of this relationship than most of the men in my past ever did. I can honestly say that if, when I first met him, he were smaller, I would be denying myself the ability to tell him I was falling in love with him.
Am I that shallow? I thought my vanity had toned down significantly over the years. But maybe it hadn't. I am not unattracted to him either. We have definitely gotten into some passionate kissing and even a wandering hand (or two). I wasn't grossed out or anything close to that. It was exactly the opposite, actually (blush). Maybe I feel like because he is not in better physical shape that I am settling for "less than the best"? But for pete's sake, is all the things I've never had before at the same time, in one man still not enough to trump one thing?
What the hell is wrong with me?!
Will work for free therapy sessions...
December 17, 2006
Playing Hooky
So here I am on a Sunday afternoon, NOT at church. Church where my nine-year old man is singing a solo today with the children's choir. Church where I share a very good relationship with 'my girl' the Pastor. Church where I was once the secretary before full-time employment got in the way. I am home.
So your first question is why am I home, and my child is not? Well, my oldest two caught a ride with my oldest sister today. No, I'm not that much of a slacker mom! I was waiting on our resident family mechanic to get here to hopefully fix my transmission. I am totally sure God understands.
I am also still tickled about the peice of crap refrigerator that the landlord had sent to this house yesterday. People, it is filthy on the outside. Like to the point of only wanting to touch it with the tips of your pointy finger and thumb filthy. But wait! There's more! On the door of the fridge part at the bottom, where there's supposed to be a bar to keep the food from sliding out? There is brown tape!! No really, I'm totally serious. And now for the icing on this 3-year-old fruitcake:
The top freezer part has black mold in it!!! Ummm-mmmm.
He could have just slapped me, and it would have been less insulting.
On a much brighter note, The New Guy let it slip that he is falling in love with me yesterday!
So your first question is why am I home, and my child is not? Well, my oldest two caught a ride with my oldest sister today. No, I'm not that much of a slacker mom! I was waiting on our resident family mechanic to get here to hopefully fix my transmission. I am totally sure God understands.
I am also still tickled about the peice of crap refrigerator that the landlord had sent to this house yesterday. People, it is filthy on the outside. Like to the point of only wanting to touch it with the tips of your pointy finger and thumb filthy. But wait! There's more! On the door of the fridge part at the bottom, where there's supposed to be a bar to keep the food from sliding out? There is brown tape!! No really, I'm totally serious. And now for the icing on this 3-year-old fruitcake:
The top freezer part has black mold in it!!! Ummm-mmmm.
He could have just slapped me, and it would have been less insulting.
On a much brighter note, The New Guy let it slip that he is falling in love with me yesterday!
December 16, 2006
The New Guy
So where do I begin with the new guy? Well, there isn't a joke that I throw that he doesn't get. We can laugh about anything. We can talk about anything. It's great!
People. He digs Prince. AND Terrance Trent D'Arby. Wow!
Okay, so here are the stats: He's 40, twice-divorced (like me), two children (ages 9 & 10), very involved at church, working on his Associate's Degree in Theology to become a licensed minister, great smile, warm heart, genuine personality, great sense of humor. There is a comfortableness between us that is rather uncanny. The same comfortableness that I have with Can't Get Right/The One.
sidebar -- For once and for all I want to get over The One. I have realized as of the last few months that I have idealized the relationship so much that in reality, it could NEVER live up to the dream in my head and heart. So, he gets divorced (finally) and we get married. Now what? He will still be working ridiculous hours, and sleeping the rest. Still unable to make important functions, or even a date, because the job will call. As deep as the love I have for him is, I want/need/deserve more than that. So I have to seriously let go this time.
Back to The New Guy. He drove all the way from his place to my job -which was about 50min with traffic- to see me and give me a ride to my car!!! It was raining, so he picked me up at the door and drove me down the parking lot to my car! Then he did it again the next day!!! This time he came armed with a single pink rose on a 2-foot stem. Maybe not exactly 24 inches, but it had to be close. I am totally smitten with him! BUT, I am staying very careful and trying to keep things slow. He has admitted me is a "quick-to-fall" person, as am I. So this definitely takes some effort! I totally think he is falling for me already!
BUT, I have to get my stuff together. I just don't feel like I am quite there yet. I have a lot more to bring to the table the table than say, when PsychoRev and I first hooked up. I didn't even have a full-time job then. I just need to continue trying to repair my credit and getting ahead of these bills. I will not let myself get sidetracked into love and not line everything up for StarrDom by 2nd quarter 2007 (at the latest). I also want to get myself together physically as well. I absolutely HAVE TO drop 30 pounds by spring! I am sick of carrying it around! I figure that'll allow me about 10pounds a month. Totally doable, right? Right?
People. He digs Prince. AND Terrance Trent D'Arby. Wow!
Okay, so here are the stats: He's 40, twice-divorced (like me), two children (ages 9 & 10), very involved at church, working on his Associate's Degree in Theology to become a licensed minister, great smile, warm heart, genuine personality, great sense of humor. There is a comfortableness between us that is rather uncanny. The same comfortableness that I have with Can't Get Right/The One.
sidebar -- For once and for all I want to get over The One. I have realized as of the last few months that I have idealized the relationship so much that in reality, it could NEVER live up to the dream in my head and heart. So, he gets divorced (finally) and we get married. Now what? He will still be working ridiculous hours, and sleeping the rest. Still unable to make important functions, or even a date, because the job will call. As deep as the love I have for him is, I want/need/deserve more than that. So I have to seriously let go this time.
Back to The New Guy. He drove all the way from his place to my job -which was about 50min with traffic- to see me and give me a ride to my car!!! It was raining, so he picked me up at the door and drove me down the parking lot to my car! Then he did it again the next day!!! This time he came armed with a single pink rose on a 2-foot stem. Maybe not exactly 24 inches, but it had to be close. I am totally smitten with him! BUT, I am staying very careful and trying to keep things slow. He has admitted me is a "quick-to-fall" person, as am I. So this definitely takes some effort! I totally think he is falling for me already!
BUT, I have to get my stuff together. I just don't feel like I am quite there yet. I have a lot more to bring to the table the table than say, when PsychoRev and I first hooked up. I didn't even have a full-time job then. I just need to continue trying to repair my credit and getting ahead of these bills. I will not let myself get sidetracked into love and not line everything up for StarrDom by 2nd quarter 2007 (at the latest). I also want to get myself together physically as well. I absolutely HAVE TO drop 30 pounds by spring! I am sick of carrying it around! I figure that'll allow me about 10pounds a month. Totally doable, right? Right?
December 12, 2006
Guess Who's Back!!
Man, it's been a minute, but here I am! A few things have happened, including the MidWest Ice Storm.
Over 600,000 people in the St. Louis area were without power, some for a day and some for almost a week. EVen though my family was directly afflicted by the power outage, I have to say, it was a disaster girl's dream!!! The beauty of the ice was only matched by it's destruction. The majority of the tree in my backyard is actually in my backyard. We'll see how long it takes my slacker landlord to fix that.
Speaking of slacker landlord, my 30+ year old fridge died. It had been leaking for about a week. I opened it this past Saturday morning, and the waffles were already unthawed. So I emptied the food from the freezer into the deep freezer. I put the egg tray in the garage, though honestly they had already gotten a little too warm for my comfort to EVER eat. I finally told him about it Monday morning -along with the fact that rent would be terribly delayed- and was told we need to arrange a time when my schedule allows to get a repairman out to look at it. A repairman!!! I work Monday thru Friday, all day. I won't have time to be here until Saturday!!! Are you freakin' kidding me!!!???
Guess I better borrow my sister's ice chest.
My transmission is not shifting past second gear, so the highest speed I can go is 45...and that's really pushing it. I see the tread on one of my tires. My daycare bill is creeping towards $800. I haven't paid anything on cable/phone/internet, or water. If it wasn't for Can't Get Right borrowing from his mother, the cell phone would be off. My financial life blows big time, but that's a blog all in itself. Not just a topic...but a whole blog!
My job reminded me why I don't like corporate America. Even though the National Guard was called in to help with the disaster area, my job informed us that if we missed Friday from work, it would be held against us! Sure you could get paid for it, but it still counted against you. Don't you feel all warm and fuzzy inside right now?
Yeah, me neither.
The one guy from the dating site never emailed me back. I took it as a personal insult initially. Then I remembered it was HIS loss, not mine. I have actually met someone else, but we'll save that discussion for later this evening!
Hey, I'm trying to end this on a suspenseful yet positive note. Work with me people!
Over 600,000 people in the St. Louis area were without power, some for a day and some for almost a week. EVen though my family was directly afflicted by the power outage, I have to say, it was a disaster girl's dream!!! The beauty of the ice was only matched by it's destruction. The majority of the tree in my backyard is actually in my backyard. We'll see how long it takes my slacker landlord to fix that.
Speaking of slacker landlord, my 30+ year old fridge died. It had been leaking for about a week. I opened it this past Saturday morning, and the waffles were already unthawed. So I emptied the food from the freezer into the deep freezer. I put the egg tray in the garage, though honestly they had already gotten a little too warm for my comfort to EVER eat. I finally told him about it Monday morning -along with the fact that rent would be terribly delayed- and was told we need to arrange a time when my schedule allows to get a repairman out to look at it. A repairman!!! I work Monday thru Friday, all day. I won't have time to be here until Saturday!!! Are you freakin' kidding me!!!???
Guess I better borrow my sister's ice chest.
My transmission is not shifting past second gear, so the highest speed I can go is 45...and that's really pushing it. I see the tread on one of my tires. My daycare bill is creeping towards $800. I haven't paid anything on cable/phone/internet, or water. If it wasn't for Can't Get Right borrowing from his mother, the cell phone would be off. My financial life blows big time, but that's a blog all in itself. Not just a topic...but a whole blog!
My job reminded me why I don't like corporate America. Even though the National Guard was called in to help with the disaster area, my job informed us that if we missed Friday from work, it would be held against us! Sure you could get paid for it, but it still counted against you. Don't you feel all warm and fuzzy inside right now?
Yeah, me neither.
The one guy from the dating site never emailed me back. I took it as a personal insult initially. Then I remembered it was HIS loss, not mine. I have actually met someone else, but we'll save that discussion for later this evening!
Hey, I'm trying to end this on a suspenseful yet positive note. Work with me people!
November 28, 2006
Updates
Okay, so never take that much time off at once and DO NOTHING!! It makes it very hard to get back to the daily grind!
My car was the water pump. Our resident mechanic -my sister's BD (baby-daddy)- said he has never seen one that bad before and was suprised it lasted that long. I told that van has the best coverage around. It is covered in prayer daily!! It still won't shift from second gear, and I need to have front brakes put on this weekend. But I'm getting from home to work -and all points in between- so that's the blessing!
The one guy that I sent an email to never responded. I am shocked, but I guess it happens to the best of us! I began chatting with someone I thought was an okay guy. Surely had a few issues, very sad story about wife and daughter killed in car accident and hasn't dated in five years. (hear the violin) I thought that was a little fishy, but I am open and honest and I expect the same. Sorry, sorry, my fault! The first time we chatted was cool...or so I thought. It was actually the setup. A few days went by and then he starts laying it on about how his mom really needed this surgery but he didn't have all the money he needed and what was he going to do. I forgot to mention he says he's in another country taking care of her, but usually lives in LA. So if he could just find someone in the states to open a citibank account and then his mom's friend in the Samoan Islands would wire the money there and then that someone could withdraw the money and send it to him then his mother would live. I know it was run-on, but you get the effect right?
All kinds of sirens were going off in my head by that time. When the chat first started last night, I got one or two warning signs, then went from there. He wasn't walking about any of the relationship stuff we chatted about the time before, any "getting to know you" stuff. This time he was crying because if his mother --who has leukemia, by the way-- doesn't get this surgery, she will die. I didn't know surgery can cure leukemia, but hey, I'm not a doctor either! So apparently the hook is to scour dating sights, pick someone under the guise of being interested in dating them, and then do this scam thing about the bank accounts. That's a shame, but it doesn't deter me from online dating.
Why?
Before online dating, I met my share of scammers in real world situations!!! Remind me to tell you about the WonderTwins father. If he didn't "borrow" my debit card from my purse a dozen times, he didn't do it once!! Not to mention the $1000 calling card (that was stolen) bill!
So anyway, I'll keep you posted occasionally on how the situation pans out. Maybe I'll find someone or maybe it's just not the season. I am working on being content either way.
On a good note physically, I am still consistent on my 100/100 challenge!! I have not missed a day, and I can feel my core strength and endurance increasing! Before I could only manage to do 50 at a time...and barely! That's why I broke it up into morning and night sets. But laziness in the morning has caused me to put it off until night. So for about a week now I've been doing 100 at night and... It's not killing me!!! I actually feel after 100 now like I did after 50 a couple of weeks ago!! WooHoo!!
Go me! Go me! Go me!
My car was the water pump. Our resident mechanic -my sister's BD (baby-daddy)- said he has never seen one that bad before and was suprised it lasted that long. I told that van has the best coverage around. It is covered in prayer daily!! It still won't shift from second gear, and I need to have front brakes put on this weekend. But I'm getting from home to work -and all points in between- so that's the blessing!
The one guy that I sent an email to never responded. I am shocked, but I guess it happens to the best of us! I began chatting with someone I thought was an okay guy. Surely had a few issues, very sad story about wife and daughter killed in car accident and hasn't dated in five years. (hear the violin) I thought that was a little fishy, but I am open and honest and I expect the same. Sorry, sorry, my fault! The first time we chatted was cool...or so I thought. It was actually the setup. A few days went by and then he starts laying it on about how his mom really needed this surgery but he didn't have all the money he needed and what was he going to do. I forgot to mention he says he's in another country taking care of her, but usually lives in LA. So if he could just find someone in the states to open a citibank account and then his mom's friend in the Samoan Islands would wire the money there and then that someone could withdraw the money and send it to him then his mother would live. I know it was run-on, but you get the effect right?
All kinds of sirens were going off in my head by that time. When the chat first started last night, I got one or two warning signs, then went from there. He wasn't walking about any of the relationship stuff we chatted about the time before, any "getting to know you" stuff. This time he was crying because if his mother --who has leukemia, by the way-- doesn't get this surgery, she will die. I didn't know surgery can cure leukemia, but hey, I'm not a doctor either! So apparently the hook is to scour dating sights, pick someone under the guise of being interested in dating them, and then do this scam thing about the bank accounts. That's a shame, but it doesn't deter me from online dating.
Why?
Before online dating, I met my share of scammers in real world situations!!! Remind me to tell you about the WonderTwins father. If he didn't "borrow" my debit card from my purse a dozen times, he didn't do it once!! Not to mention the $1000 calling card (that was stolen) bill!
So anyway, I'll keep you posted occasionally on how the situation pans out. Maybe I'll find someone or maybe it's just not the season. I am working on being content either way.
On a good note physically, I am still consistent on my 100/100 challenge!! I have not missed a day, and I can feel my core strength and endurance increasing! Before I could only manage to do 50 at a time...and barely! That's why I broke it up into morning and night sets. But laziness in the morning has caused me to put it off until night. So for about a week now I've been doing 100 at night and... It's not killing me!!! I actually feel after 100 now like I did after 50 a couple of weeks ago!! WooHoo!!
Go me! Go me! Go me!
November 23, 2006
Thanksgiving
Today is Thanksgiving, a day to stuff ourselves to oblivion and visit with our family.
Nooooo... Let's try that again.
Nooooo... Let's try that again.
Today is a day to spend with family (and friends) and reflect upon the things in this life we are thankful for. So here are some of mine.
- I am thankful for DJ, Starr, Champagne, and Bruzer. Those are my children.
- I am thankful for my mother, my sisters, my nieces, and my friends.
- I am thankful that my children and my nieces know so well their 85-year-old great-grandmother.
- I am thankful for the large house I now live in, compared to the 2 bedroom townhouse all five us were in for far too long.
- I am thankful for the job that God has blessed me with. It pays well and I love what I do.
- I am thankful for my health, and for all the things that could be wrong with me but are not.
- I am thankful for every red light I was caught by, or every slow driver I was stuck behind who probably kept me from an "accident waiting to happen" ahead.
- I am thankful for the four major times that God spared my life. It reminds me that I have a purpose and I have work to do.
- I am thankful for the freedom to know God, to accept Jesus as my savior, and to be able to teach my children the same.
- I am also thankful that whatever is wrong with my car happened on a Wednesday evening before this 4-day Thanksgiving Weekend, and not when I had to go to work the next day!!!
Praise God!!! Hallelujah!!!!
What are you thankful for?
November 21, 2006
Breakin' The Rules
See, this is my problem. I make rules, and then I bend them. No, no, not break, just kinda curve to the side a little!
I know, you're not buying it. Neither am I...really.
I was looking around at Match.com this morning, something I never really did when I created my profile. Out of four pages of very specifically matched criteria search results, I saw one! I looked all through his profile, read what he wrote, looked at the pictures, and I like! So, since I'm not a subscriber, I sent a wink. That's a very generic way of letting that person know you're interested.
I guess if he winks back, I'll do the three day free membership to get his email address and we can communicate. If he winks back.
So..... I did my crunches this morning! That counts for the good, right?
Right?
I know, you're not buying it. Neither am I...really.
I was looking around at Match.com this morning, something I never really did when I created my profile. Out of four pages of very specifically matched criteria search results, I saw one! I looked all through his profile, read what he wrote, looked at the pictures, and I like! So, since I'm not a subscriber, I sent a wink. That's a very generic way of letting that person know you're interested.
I guess if he winks back, I'll do the three day free membership to get his email address and we can communicate. If he winks back.
So..... I did my crunches this morning! That counts for the good, right?
Right?
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