Big Changes

Firstly, my contract with the elance company fell through! They changed their mind due to the economic situation. I was pretty bummed about it for a minute, but I am recouping.

Me and the kids went to Memphis this past weekend and invaded Dante's one-bedroom apartment. We left on Friday evening and didn't leave until Monday evening. How nice when you are not on someone else's time?? :-) It was a good weekend, and we even got to see the Lorraine Motel on Sunday (where Dr. King was murdered). I think he enjoyed the time with the kids too. It's the first time he has really got to spend such close time with them. I mean, I have great kids anyway, no temper-tantrum throwing brats in my brood...and they're really cute too!!! I ended up with a headache Saturday night after we got back from the drive-in, and was in bed by 10p. So that left him with the kids until they went to bed! He's awesome with kids, and I feel we have the same theories regarding child-rearing (for the most part), so I wasn't worried.

A couple things bothered me during the trip, and I eventually shared them with him the morning I got back here. He answered every issue I brought up to him, as I knew he would. Every issue had a good answer/perfectly logical solution...and I expected nothing less. Does that completely quell the intuition? Mostly, but a little part of me will still wonder. I mean, I know he and think alike, so I know that I would have had great answers as well. I do not feel that I have a reason not to trust him, and so I do. I trust that he won't put my health at risk. If there is someone warming his bed occasionally, they are protected. I trust that he won't blindside me and break my heart. If he gets involved with someone he cares for more than me (can't imagine, cuz how does it get more fabulous than me??), he will tell me before things get out of hand. I trust that he loves me like he has more freely began to express. I look into his eyes, I feel it when he holds me, I know it's there. This is where I choose to be. With him.

I do still have some issues reservations, yes. I can't say when those things may go away anytime soon. Some of it has to do with me and past situations. However, some of it also has to do with his actions too. There are things that he can do to reassure me that "I'm the only one." (his words) I may have mentioned this before, but I still sometimes feel like I am his little secret...or lately like I am an unknowing participant on a season of The Bachelor. Time will tell, and I will continue to love him. Fine, call me a fool if you want. With the b.s. that the BFF just dealt with with this serpent in Louisville, I could let that affect how I feel about Dante. They are completely different, in almost every sense of the word, so no contest! Sometime the hardest thing to do is make a decision.

I made mine. I am aware of the possible consequences, good and bad. I accept that and stand by my decision 100%. There, I said it!

p.s. Did I mention the insane amount of sex we had this weekend??!! Whew!! (yes, even in a 1BR apartment with 4 children present! SO I don't want to hear that BS from couples talking about they have no time because of the children)