The Graduate

Champagne, my little graduate, is now on her way to kindergarten! We went to her graduation ceremony tonight from preschool, with her little friends. I may not have made it to many (okay ANY) outings, but I pretty much know all the kids there! So many have been there since the beginning, or close to it, that they are just growing up together.

I am going to try NOT to be such a slacker mom, and have her keep up with a few of them.

We also went to the Shriner's Day parade tonight, but didn't stay long after the parade started. My goodness, it took FOREVER for them to begin!! It was almost 9pm! Bruzer had to go to the bathroom and waited to the last second to tell me! We were outside people! I tried to get him to wait a minute because I couldn't leave at that moment since Agnes had stepped away to send her son with his dad. TOO LATE...there it went trickling down his leg. Well, I made him go potty before we left the preschool at probably 720p. Then he went again while we were waiting for the parade to start. Then again? Well, that's what happens when your child drinks ALL of his juice pouch instead of eating his hamburger! And so we left.

By the time we got home, the lightening was all across the sky. The thunder was starting to catch up to it too, which meant the storm was close. By about 1015p, the rain began hard. Wait...that's too hard to be just rain...

Whoa!! It's hailing the size of walnuts! My poor car, how I wish I had a garage for her now! Hopefully no damage.

Okay shutting down the computer now...later!!

I've Had Better Weekends...

Main news is that I didn't see Dante at all this weekend. Heck, barely talked to him for that matter. I talked to him briefly Saturday evening, didn't talk to him at all on Sunday, then briefly this evening. He said he was going to stop by before he headed back to Memphis, but considering it's 1130pm...I can safely assume that's a no.

I stopped by my sister's house for a while so the kids could play together. Leigh and I were both like zombies on the couch. The kids were having a good time though. My head was pounding and I am getting a cold of all things...so I wasn't at my best.

Hopefully I'll come around soon...

Cleaning House!!!

Finally! I have heard one too many comments about a tornado and my house in the same sentence!
So I have spent the better part of Saturday cleaning. I went through all things in the living room and did a pretty good job rearranging those items. It will look much better when I sell the all-in-one and stuff that's going with it. I then washed up all my dishes, and finally unpacked the cookware set my mom bought me for Christmas. It's a stainless steel nonstick set. Well, I already have a great 18/10 stainless steel set, and I am still holding on to a few on my T-Fal peices from several years back also. But since I got the microwave cart, I have a place to put the new cookware, so now that's done and the microwave is on its new home.

Most of the living room and kitchen are done, I would say about 95% LR and 85% kitchen (only because I have to do the floor). I still have to do the bathroom as well. The toilet and tub won't take but a few minutes and the sink is done already, but I really need to get the floor done. I will do it tonight while the kids are sleep though. I am also simultaneously doing laundry while all this is going on too! I am just ready for my home to look nice again. My mental state is not nearly as cluttered or chaotic as it has been in the recent past, and it's high time my house reflected that!

P.S. I Love You

That movie is right up there with The Notebook for sure! My eyes are still puffy and swollen! I think I bawled like a little girl on that one! Just beautiful! AND I am very partial to Harry Connick, Jr anyway? Absolutely fabulous!

Not feeling very loved these days and frankly, I don't like it. Dante has "stuff" going on again, so I seem to get pushed to the back burner while he deals with it. Yeah, I don't like it much either. But hell, what can I really do about it right now? Call him and yell at him and demand he start paying me more attention? Some would I know, but I most likely won't. Why not, you ask?

I don't know okay? I don't really know.

I mean yeah on the surface I am being considerate of his feelings and the stress of his situation and all that stuff, that is very true. But I also know there is another reason under there as to why I won't really assert myself that way. Mostly because although we've talked about the possibility of there being an "us", we haven't made that a definite just yet. It's not like he'll initiate that conversation with me. I mean, remember, he is a MAN after all. And I don't want to be that typical broad that brings up the whiny "what about us? are we gonna take this to the next level?" chick either, so therein lies my dilemma.

Well, then, what do I do about this perpetual state of uncertainty I live in romantically?
I ignore it, of course!

That is, until I go and do something wreckless like watch P.S. I Love You or The Notebook or The Lake House! When will I ever learn? :-)

Now it's off to bed alone, just wishing I could be held by someone who cares about me...

I Got Flowers

Saturday afternoon, as I was working in my living room, I saw a flower delivery van outside my front window. Well, the first thing I thought was "That surely isn't for me" and I went back to loading my bags full of winter clothing into the hallway closet. Oddly enough when I came back to the front, I saw the lady was walking up the front steps, so I went to the door. She said my name and I replied, then she handed me a vase containing a dozen roses!

I'll be honest, my first thought was that they were from my sweetie. You see, he came home this weekend because his sis had the baby...and I hadn't seen him yet. That just seemed like something he would do. Especially after the Mother's Day card last weekend!

Then I read the card in the bouquet:
"From someone who loves you very, very, very much."

I knew then who it wasn't from, and also who it was from. Yep, you guessed it!

Can't Get Right!

When I called him to ask about them, he told me he just wanted to tell me another way how much he cared besides just verbally.

Silly me, I was worried about explaining the flowers when my sweetie came by before he left. Well, didn't have to worry about that because he didn't stop by to see me at all this weekend. Yes, I am a bit disappointed by that, but it wasn't about me to start with. So I deal with it. I know other women who would have pitched a fit, because they seem to think that their man's life seems to revolve around them! This is a big deal for him, now that he is in Memphis and so close to home. He was home for his birthday, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, Mother's Day, and now not only the birth of his sister's child but her birthday today as well! Never in his 18years in the Marines has this happened. So yeah, I'll take a backseat to that.

Anyway, I still haven't seen Can't Get Right...and I really don't know what to think. I have such a different focus right now, I just don't flip out over that like I did not-too-long ago. That makes me feel very empowered too. I went to Leigh's Master's degree graduation on Friday night...that was a bit of a wake-up call too. I need to get focused on achieving my Bachelor's degree, then my MBA, because that's what I want! There is noone in my way but me, the same person that's been blocking me for all these years.

No more, no more, no more!

In Spanish: No mas, no mas, no mas!

Hopefully that cleared it up!

Time is moving on...

Man, have I been a little MIA lately or what? I had gotten so good at my blogging schedule! But with everything going on with the new business stuff and just life in general, I have been slacking major.

Last night, I watch 'Hairspray'. What a great little film!! I thoroughly enjoyed it. There were so many relevant messages in it, even for today. It was one the kids could watch and enjoy also, so it was a great evening. Viv came over and braided Starr's hair. Champagne had hers braided the evening before (could have wrung her neck for not even flinching when Viv comb her hair, yet I apply grease and she's tearing up already!). That will be their "look" for the summer, cause both of them will be swimming soon enough! I rented '27 Dresses' tonight. I wanted to get 'Untraceable' but I thought that was a little dark for me right now. The other choice was 'P.S. I Love You'....and um...hell no! A little too emotional right now for that one!

I had an awesome Saturday and Sunday night with my sweetie. That felt good, being able to sleep with him and wake up with him too. (And boy does he know how to wake a girl up!!)

Ok, I am back! (huge, guilty grin) I am waiting to hear whether I am what's called "client qualified" for my first client with Arise. It's one I really wanted, and then the other obstacle would be paying for it within 24hours. But, I am working on that now too.

A couple of people on my team got fired on Monday afternoon, so that brought things really close to home. Not like I would be as broken up as one would expect me to be in such a situation if it happened to me, but I am not ready just yet! Got to at least secure one steady Arise client, while working on my second...and my other streams of income too! My magnets for my car came, as well as my admin. business cards. I just need to work on my sales letter and/or brochure for the admin services...and I have YET to do my travel flyer! Slacker I know. I am also working on networking opportunities as well in the very near future. I would LOVE to build my own little mailing list for my travel services, and I really want to get church business too!!

As usual, I got a lot to do. So, don't be mad if you don't see me for a minute! K??

p.s. My sweetie used some fabulous Marine-type stealth skills to deliver a Mother's Day to my front door unnoticed...after he left that afternoon! And what a nice card it was:

"There aren't many challenges bigger than those faced by single mothers...but if anyone is up to the challenge, you are. You're a wonderful mother and you deserve a Happy Mother's Day!"
Did that not totally ROCK, or am I just a bit biased??

Happy Mother's Day

Happy Mother's Day to all!

Spent a good day with the family. Started out well with my sweetie, and was met with disappointment somewhere in the middle. Isn't that life though? Or maybe it's just my life...

Interesting Week

I have been feeling really melancholy this week. Very unsettled about "stuff". But, after talking with Dante today, I feel much better. Things are still clear on the business front, but personally...well...not so crystal there.

I just felt this distance there and I wanted to know why and what it meant. He's been working ridiculously for the past month and a half, so I knew that was a major reason. I just wanted to make sure that was the only thing...and that it wasn't someone that I needed to be concerned about. I mean, let's face it, the distance is there. We had talked before about if he found someone there he would let me know. I was just worried that he had, and then didn't have the heart to tell me 'cause he didn't want to hurt my feelings. He hadn't.

We had a very open conversation, from the heart. He has known for a while now that I have been a bit uneasy and wanted to talk to him, but he decided to wait and let me come to him. It's not like he hasn't had an enormous load on his plate lately, so I didn't want to burden him. But, it was finally at the point that I could have exploded today. So many emotions churning around. So I sent him an email that I wanted to talk to him later today. Once I hit send, there was no chickening out!

I was glad to get things off my chest, I feel a bit more clear-headed and focused now. I just needed to know what we were. I mean, at this point, no definition has been realistically established still. But, it's nice to know that he considers us more than just FWB, and there is potential for a future, should that situation arise. That's a relief!

Other than that, I have been working on passing another little certification for my Arise business. I have 2 prerequisite courses basically to take before I can certify with any clients' training - Customer Service 101 and Sales 101. I would like to have the first done by end of weekend, so I can register the second one. But, I did email someone on the work at home forum who said she has contracted with a few local businesses for services as well. Isn't that exactly the core business for StarrDom??? All I gotta do is get outta my way!

I'm movin', I'm movin'...you don't have to push! :-)


p.s. My car magnets came today!!! WooHoo!!!

PsychoRev, The Dark Period

The Dark Period? Dramatic? Yes. Inaccurate? Not at all. It wasn't so much that he was so bad, but my self-esteem and self-worth had hit an all time low. Okay, he was really that bad too. He didn't get the name PsychoRev as a pun.

I met him on yahoo personals, and he seemed to be really perfect. We hit it off online, chatting up a storm. He was a career Air Force man, about a year and a half from retirement, yet only in his late 30s. He had been married before, as had I. He had children already, and was fine with the fact that I had children. Wait...

Let me interject to say that time, I was only interested in certain criteria while dating. I preferred that he have kids already (since I was surgically altered after Bruzer). I preferred that he have been married before, that way no glossed over ideals of what marriage should be like. High on the list was that he not be looking to casually date, that he was looking for a serious long-term commitment. I was not so much interested in dating for the sake of dating, that was a waste of time and energy in my eyes. So this one, was spot on in all those categories.

To top it off, he was an ordained Baptist minister (thus the Rev" part). Me? A first lady of a church? Oooooh, I could do that most definitely! We were dating at the beginning of that year, and at that time I kinda wanted to play around a bit, so we slowed down and stopped talking for a while. I was casually dating Henry at that time, and talking to this other guy I went to high school with. Nothing physical was going on with either of them. Then there was Lloyd. We were business associates and friends by day, and at night....well, he was a November Scorpio, need I say more? We were definitely never to be an item, too many fundamental differences (Christian - Muslim, things like that), but we enjoyed each other's company and friendship. So while I wasn't physical with any of the other guys, he kept me satisfied so I didn't reach "hoe" status with my insatiable appetite!!

So, after several months, Lloyd and I broke it off and then William (real name) and I started a chat one night. That chat lasted 5 hours, then we talked on the phone for another 3 more! Things were just clicking. He told me that he had already fallen for me from when we were dating before. I didn't really notice it then that he harbored ill-will towards me for being honest and saying I wasn't ready to commit at that time. As far as looks, he wasn't ugly, but he wasn't someone I would have picked off the street either. He wasn't fat nor chubby even, but he definitely had a gut. He was great and very adventurous in the bedroom, so that was a plus...at first.

By this time, a few weeks into dating the second time, we were already planning marriage for February. It was November. We waited a little bit and then told the kids together around Christmas, and then the rest of the family after that. He was all gung-ho to be in the 'daddy' role, which was a big deal to me. He was a little more strict than I cared for and regrettably it took me a while to stand up for my kids. He wasn't abusive, don't get me wrong, but I'm hard enough on them as it is, and he felt they should be Stepford kids. Mind you, he had about five kids of his own, but only had a relationship with one! Yet another red flag.

We had a normal conversation one day, and I casually told him that I was seeing someone else intimately when we were talking before. I reminded him that I did tell him I was seeing other people, but apparently he felt me actually sleeping with someone else was different. As I told him then, it wasn't his business to know. Things went downhill from there. He wasn't sure if he wanted to get married anymore, which was a big deal for me, because I was so caught up in being embarassed by having to say the wedding was off.
My self-esteem and self-worth issues were so out-of-control at the time, I was just "grateful" that he wanted to marry me in the first place! Yeah, I was bad. I told you before about "Why would anybody want to marry the woman with four kids by three different fathers" phenomenon that was going on in my head, didn't I? That caused me to make some bad decisions over the past few years truly. But God saved me from anything worse happening.

Anyway, we went through some really bad times and did some very questionable things in our social life. So much so, that I pray he NEVER gets to pastor his own church anywhere, because (like I feel about my former slumlord) he is a SHAM!! A wolf in sheep's clothing! I pray noone ever has to rely on him for their salvation. He kept trying to make me into this vision of a perfect first lady that he had in his head. I finally felt like he wasn't seeing me for who I was, he was seeing me for who he wanted to make me into. That's not a good feeling. Now, when I met him I had on colored contacts. All of a sudden, as time went on, that changed. "No wife of mine should be wearing colored contacts." Same things for the phony ponies and wigs I wore on occasion. One day, being who I am, I wore my contacts to a bible study he was teaching at my church. He didn't even speak to me the whole night! Wouldn't answer my calls later or anything! So, still trying to be the conformist and to prove my loyalty to him, I tossed them all. My contacts, my wigs, and my ponytails. (Yes, of course I regretted it later.)

The wedding was moved back to June, since we still had issues that needed to be worked out according to him. He was still very bitter over the Lloyd thing. I bought a wedding dress, and even went to my cake tasting with my cousin. I was still trying to live the illusion. One day, I just couldn't take not being seen and loved for who I was anymore. I called it off. The phrase in my mind at the time was from the book of Job. To paraphrase: "That which I have feared the most has come upon me." It wasn't so hard telling people I wasn't getting married. It was a relief actually. He pleaded with me to give it another try, because he could see so much "potential" in me. I told him that was the problem, he needed to just see me.

One night, I don't remember how it happened but he got in a bad way. Very depressed and erratic behavior, very strange questions. Questions like, "Will life insurance pay the beneficiary if the person commits suicide?" Then he reminded me of an event early in his military career that a relationship ended poorly and he ended up with a gun to his head and spent time in the psych ward. He had "logically" decided that he was going to end his life this night, unless I let him come over because he needed "closure". Yeah, it was a lie I'm sure...but considering the fact that I knew he was crazy by now, I didn't want to take a chance. That was the night I talked about when I left the old house that I prayed my kids didn't find me dead in the morning.

I told him how I felt that night when I talked to him the next day, and that sent him reeling again. At that point, I was through though, I didn't care what happened to him. Somewhere along the line, he developed a hate for me, like I was the bad guy in the whole relationship! He sent me an email to brag about how, just 2 months after that crazy night, he had gotten married. He said very mean and hateful things in there about how he never intended to marry me, and blah blah blah. I doubted then that he was actually married, though I knew it could be possible if he found another poor gullible desperate soul as I had been. Seeing his car at that same apartment yesterday confirmed he lied. Good. I hope he is truly miserable. But more than that, I hope he NEVER realizes his dream of starting his own church, for the sake of whatever people's lives he would have influence over. Because I know the things I know about him, I personally feel he needs to "give back" his ordination, if that's even possible.

Yes, he really was that bad.

Yes, I am much stronger, and more confident in the wonderful woman I am now, four kids and all. Don't get me wrong, those poisonous thoughts still get me every now and again, but I make a conscious effort to choke them away. I know who I am, how absolutely fabulous I am, and I know Whose I am! We live and we learn, and we all earn our stripes in different ways. That which does not kill me, ALWAYS makes me stronger!

Iron Man Really Rocked!!

It was totally worth the wait this week (and the $40 total at the theatre) to see it!

After we left there, we went to my younger sister's house. My older brother, Ray, was in town for his birthday, so they were having a dinner celebration for him. We laughed ridiculously, and had a great time. I even ate birthday cake and a little ice cream. The kids were really great too, which they usually are honestly. We stopped at Viv's house to drop off some clothes for her son that my grandmother sent, we stayed and chatted there for about an hour and a half. So by the time we got home, the kids went straight upstairs and crashed!

One eerie thing I noticed on the way to my sister's house. I had to pass PsychoRev's old street, or so I thought it was his "old street". I was sure he would have left the area by now, but I was wrong. AND, although it was a 2 bedroom apartment, I am now convinced he didn't get married as he told me he did the November immediately after we broke up for good. I never believed it anyway, but knowing he still lives in that apartment just confirms it. I guess now that he has popped into my head again, and I am completely emotionally healed from the damage he did (and that I allowed him to do), I can tell that story....

...in the morning. I'm going to bed!

p.s. I carried the microwave cart in the house tonight. All. By. Myself.

Living for the Weekend

First things first: The microwave cart is still in the van.

Okay, now that that's out of the way. I left work a few hours early today. My bff was sweet today asking me how that affects my pay. I am keeping a pretty good watch on it. Today I really only took like an hour and 15minutes unpaid. Who knows? I will probably go my next two weeks paycheck cycle and not take any time off. I am trying to be on top of things. I probably lost about 12 or 13 hours this pay period, which will be a dent, but not drastic. I bet it will be enough to shock me back to reality of taking time off. When it's slow, I can focus on things to do for StarrDom!

They've been laying off people across the hall at full service. Some part timers but some full-timers too. What was shocking is that the other lady who used to work til 6p with me, then went to full service a little too prematurely to get better hours....she was one of the people laid off today!! If she would have just stayed for another month, she would have heard that we were getting new hires. Oh well!

See how God looked out for me?? The ONLY reason I didn't apply for the new positions at Gap was because I was on a written warning, and literally couldn't. Otherwise...that could have been me!!!

Well, I think I am going to lay up on the couch tonight and watch me a movie...any movie. We spent all evening at Grandmother's house. Got a gorgeous comforter set from her, and some clothes and a kickin pair of bootie mules from Mom...plus some more canned goods from grandmother. Tomorrow the plan is to hit the matinee and go see Iron Man. I think it's gonna be really good.

As always, I will let you know.

My Day Off

I took yesterday off work, for no other reason than because they gave it to me...not paid of course! But still, it was great. I went back to my favorite store that morning (Salvation Army Thrift Store) and bought more stuff for the kids, and even a few nice skirts for me. Got a good bunch more clothes, and my grand total was a whopping $24.79!! Go ME! I almost got this Tommy Hilfiger skirt for $2.99, but I changed my mind. What was tempting is that it was a size 9, and it fit just fine!! BUT, the style just wasn't me.

Did you see I said it was a size 9???!!! Okay, just checking!

I laid on the couch and watched Cloverfield. That was a really cool movie, I loved the concept. And to top it off, it was a monster that destroyed Manhattan?? SCORE!!!

I did manage by the end of the day to get all my lessons done for ACP101 with Arise. All that is left now is the final exam. I think I will take that at lunch today...or at least that's the plan. I did eat a little yesterday after all. I ate a BK Croissanwich for breakfast, then ate a homemade pulled pork sandwich (on wheat) for dinner. That was plenty. I wasn't even hungry around lunchtime.

Alright, time to wake the brood and get ready for another exciting day!!


p.s. My microwave cart is still in the van. I'll get it out this evening. I will wait on man only so long, and then I will just do it my darn self! If it takes me 10 minutes to bring it 10 feet, then so be it!

Food Day

Oh boy, did I overdo it today!! We had an Italian theme this time, and a couple of ladies made some REALLY good pastas! I didn't have large portions, actually smaller than normal....but I ended up eating seconds later that afternoon! PLUS, I had a piece of chocolate pie...AND...Birthday Cake too!!! I could actually FEEL the difference in my body....all those carbs and sugar....I did not like it one bit!

That makes me feel awesome! I haven't eaten anything since about 3p today...and I still feel full. I cooked dinner for the kids...and the smell of it was almost nauseating!

I can't imagine I will be eating much tomorrow AT ALL. There will surely be a Venti Caramel Macchiatto Nonfat Latte (with 1 Splenda) from Starbucks to start the day though, since I am off work. The way I feel right now...there probably won't be much more after that. I may do a day of Slim-Fast made with soy milk to clear my system out...or I may just do a V8 and fruit juice fast instead.

I am trying to decide what to do with my day tomorrow. I really need to work on my travel flyer design and perhaps get some copies made, especially since I have the paper already. A trip to the DMV to renew my plates wouldn't hurt either. More cleaning and organizing of my living room/office would be awesome! Laundry wouldn't hurt. Some vaccumming is much needed. Boy this list is getting long!

I do plan to do some training for my initial certification, because I want to have that finished as quickly as possible, so I can get on to possibly certifying for an actual client soon.

Still waiting to get the microwave cart out of the car...

GREAT WEEK!!!

Watched The Secret last night, then re-watched the parts that watched me last night this morning! It wasn't boring...I was just sleepy. Will probably watch that every other day, just to make sure I am keeping my focus! One of my favorite quotes ever is from Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are usually right." For a long time, I had convinced myself that I couldn't. What a surprise! I was right! Now I am actively working everyday to say I can, and believe I can....then I will!!

I feel so accomplished, which is a feeling I haven't really felt in a long time. My weight is maintained right now...though I have been slacking with my South Beach a little. I am still happily fitting my size 12 jeans and fitting into clothes that I haven't worn in a long time. It's almost like I went shopping and I'm wearing new clothes! But, before I do too much, I am going back to Phase 1... plus fruit though. I would still like to see 175 on the scales. This week was a little crazy and rainy, plus I was doing business stuff on my breaks, so I didn't get to walk outside like I usually do.

I got my business banking account opened yesterday. The banking rep was so nice and helpful. I ordered my administrative services business cards and my car magnets yesterday also. Plus I will get lettering put across the back window giving the phone number and website for the travel business. I need to find out about dba so I can do travel and admin a bit separately and not get into trouble.

I opened my ING direct savings account, and set up auto payments every pay period for that. I bought a new all-in-one printer with wireless capability, so I can replace both of the other printers now. I think I will list some movies on ebay too, since I replaced them with DVDs recently. Never did sell the Tivo or double stroller, but I will try again though this weekend. Bought a microwave cart for the kitchen, but it's still in the car...waiting on my BD to come help me get in the house.

I have also started researching my next vehicle, and so far so good. I was initially interested in the 2008 GMC Yukon XL Hybrid, but according to the dealer they were very limited in production. I will keep abreast of production info for the 2009 models. Otherwise, I found a beautiful 2007 GMC Yukon XL Denali in Silver that would be perfect. I am not really into buying brand-new vehicles anyway just because of the dealer markup on them. So buying one a couple of years old will be perfect. That is my goal for 2009. I even did pricing and financing options. I know how much I want to put down, plus my van (which should be paid off by this time next year) as a trade in...my payments will be very manageable!

On the relationship front, I haven't focused very much on that. Just didn't want that clouding my head right now. Can't Get Right has decided he wants me...again. (yawn) Dante is so very caught up in work right now that we hardly get to really talk anymore, which can sometimes make the distance even harder. No worries though, he still has my heart (whether he knows it or not), so I try to be here for him when he needs me. Hopefully though, there will come a time soon where we can truly decide what we are, and if there is more on the horizon for us. Like I said, with him working so much, it just makes sense for me to focus completely on business. That way I won't go nuts wondering if we're still just a casual fling or if there's more in store.

But for now, it's all about the business baby!

I Got Incorporated!!

Congrats to me!!! This puts me one step closer to my work at home goal! The company that I want to work thru for a guaranteed income requires you to be incorporated. They don't deal with employees nor independent contractors. However, I am also working on my administrative services marketing materials so that I can get clients as soon as possible.

So the goal is to get a client and, once I can sustain a part-time of income of $1200/month for 3 or 4 months, to get ready to go at it full time! My current employer will help me out during the cushion period...they just don't know it yet! Oh yeah, there is a plan in place! I would hope to have a house by then, so I get in under the proven income of my current employer. I just truly believe this is my year to do it!!!

I ordered a copy of the Secret DVD the other day, hopefully it will be here soon. Maybe I will invite Leigh over and we can watch it together. The momentum is building....I can feel it....Can you?

Friday in Review

A little different than the usual Weekend in Review post, eh?

Well, first off the day started with a bang...or shall I say a rumble! Yes, you are correct!! We had an EARTHQUAKE!!!! You know for Disaster Girl here, I was in bliss all day! Nothing fell of the dresser or anything like that in my duplex. But, what I did feel was my bed shaking like a couple of the kids were jumping on it. That's what woke me up! When I realized what it was, I ran to the computer to confirm it. I was so excited!!! I check 2 of the local TV stations' websites and.....nothing. I waited about 5 minutes, then checked again. Nothing. This was at about 430a mind you, and I was off work that day, so I could afford to sleep in a bit.

When I woke again at almost 7a, I went straight for the computer and...there it was!! 5.4 (later revised to 5.2) earthquake shakes southern Illinois!! WOOHOO!!! I ran upstairs to wake the kids like it was Christmas Day!! They thought it was cool too. Don't worry, they know they're mother is a little off!

Honestly, I was already feeling great knowing that I didn't have to work that day. To top it all off, by the end of the day I was going to have a decent sum of money AND see my Punkin!!! Yes, my ex-husband took the deal and we closed the case in Missouri, effective Friday. Before I left Missouri, I had already been to the bank to deposit the cashier's check, less some much needed cash for the weekend...and for my sweetie! Man, that felt SO GOOD being able to give him that money, especially since he really could use it right now. Remember the loan he gave me around my birthday? Well, I insisted on paying him back...and was finally able to! I should have done it out of my tax return, but there were some really pressing issues that needed to be tended to. I felt horribly when he brought it up to me too, so this was a big relief for me.

What else did I do on Friday? I went and got a pedicure. Then, I went shopping for a shirt to wear that evening. THEN....I GOT MY HAIR DONE!!!!!! It really is shocking isn't it? In all the time I have had this blog, that is one thing you have NEVER read here. I got a relaxer and a great little do, but then it rained (of course), so i had to improvise that evening. I then went down to The City to get a new pair of contacts for my niece, who turned 16 on Thursday.

By 430p, I was driving up to my neck of the woods to pick up the kids, and it was really pouring down! But it was still sunshine in my world, because my sweetie was on his way to me! I was very excited to be seeing him in mere hours! Plus, I was excited about the company dinner/dance that night too.

Fast forward a bit. I got the kids all settled with my niece here watching them for the night and headed to the Hampton Inn Westport to check in and get to the special reception they were holding for us. I made it there for just a few minutes of it, but I had to run back out to Target to find shoes for the evening! Seems the pair I was wearing lost the tip off the heel, and the gorgeous pair I brought to wear was missing the tip off one shoe!!! I found some that were $20, so that worked out fine. I arrived back at the hotel, just in time to meet Dante in the lobby! We went to the room and...well, you know what happened next. Then we started getting ready. He looked very handsome in his 3 piece black suit, and me with my very elegant sklacks (like skorts, but longer...and that's MY word) and my fabulous black shirt I bought. I did the whole "smoky eye" thing that's all the rage now with some nice red lips...Gorgeous!!!

We enjoyed the event, and had a great time with our tablemates...which included my manager and his boyfriend. I even took a picture of them...aren't I just progressive? LOL!!

We got back to hotel, I changed clothes, and he had to deal with some USMC stuff, then we headed to a coworkers room for our own afterparty! We finally headed back to our room at 3a, to which we both promptly got undressed and....CRASHED!!! Seriously, we were sleep within minutes! But the morning....

He got on the road about 9a, but not after I made him a little breakfast plate from the hotel. You know me, I love serving my man! He sent me a text at 130p to let me know he was back and on his way to do a funeral but, by that time I was home in bed hungover and sleep! He was home passed out by about 530p! He called to let me know he was on his way to the house...and he was going to bed and would likely talk to me Sunday! To which he sent me a good afternoon text at about 1230p! I took the kids to a Chinese buffet for dinner Saturday night after I was feeling a bit better. When we left there, we stopped and got "Nancy Drew" from Redbox, then it was off to bed when that went off!

This was a great weekend! And with the prospect of a day or two off this week from work...it promises to be a great week too!!!



PS...I got Inc'd today!!!! The StarrDom Corporation is being born!!! Getting closer to my WAH (work at home) goal everyday!!

Sweetest Hangover...

Yep, hungover from lack of sleep and good amounts (though not excessive) of alcohol. I drank Amaretto Sours all night at the dinner dance, then had 3 Smirnoff Ice at the "afterparty" in Tammy's hotel room. So I have been suffering all day today, in the bed, half nauseous with a headache. Blew the diet all to hell for the day today. I had a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish and fries, then later I took the kids to a chinese buffet, though I didn't do as bad there. I had some noodles and potstickers, but everything else was really meat and veggies. Didn't even have any dessert.

I am worn out now, but I have a few things to catch up on from Friday's events. So, stay tuned for another post in a few hours when I wake up!

Okay...I'm Back...Sort Of

The virus/malware is still attacking my poor little laptop profusely. But take heart! I finally swapped hard drives in my desktop. In this quest for a more secure computer, I downloaded Mozilla Firefox internet browser and...it...is....AWESOME!

I now have it on my desktop, and I have been telling others about it as well. One of thinsg is that it is supposed to be way more secure than IE. So far so good.

I am off this coming Friday from work, and I have a couple of important pieces of business to take care of that day. I think I will also get my hair done that day as well. Yep, that's right, me in the beautician's chair! I want it relaxed, trimmed, and with a TON of body like ole girl from Why Did I Get Married?.

My company's annual dinner dance is that night, and I just got confirmed from Dante that he will be able to make it to the party!!! Now, I just have to ask my mom if she will come up and watch the kids for me until Saturday morning when we check out of the hotel.

Hotel? Yep, that's right. They have special rates and a block of rooms, so several of us are staying there. One bonus is they have a shuttle that will go all night from the hotel to the venue, so we can park at the hotel and take the shuttle to and fro. That's also great since they have an open bar too!!! No drinking and driving here!!!

Pay close attention to the following equation:

Alcohol + 2 Scorpios + a hotel room + sex = GREAT NIGHT!!!!

Any questions???


Somewhere in that night when we get back to the room, I would like to talk to him about "us". I seriously don't want to put pressure where there doesn't need to be, that is not my intention. Especially not now with so much going on with him on the workfront. But, I am wondering if we are the most we'll ever be, or if there will be more as time goes on. See, one of the things is that there hasn't been very much interaction with the children, it's usually just he and I. So, I can't really gauge his level of involvement or realization that this is actually a package deal and not just me, should he decide he wants to go further. Now, if he decides that we really are just what we are right now, then that's cool too. At least I will know what to do with these feelings just under the surface for him that I am consistently denying. Easier to cool the love now than later, when I'm in too deep to recover easily.

Safety first! :)

Viruses Suck!!!

Yep, now I've a virus wormed into my Internet Explorer...and I can't get the little bugger out!!! The Commander - who is a computer whiz - is currently MIA so I can't ask him. I think I am going to have to call the computer guy I know locally and have him worm it out. I've done all I can...and it has taken me the whole weekend to do that!

I wanted to install the new hard drive on the desktop but, much to my surprise, I have no idea how to open the Dell case!!!! My laptop is acting so RETARDED that I haven't really been able to get on there and check into it.

So I downloaded Mozilla Firefox as a web browser since it's supposed to be so secure.But, since it just tried to popup the same spyware cleaner crap it's been doing with Explorer, it's apparently more imbedded than I thought. This is gonna take expert and professional help.

Cause you know, I don't have enough things to do with my money at this point!!!

bonus for this weekend: I managed to completely redo my StarrDom Administrative Services website before the bottom fell out!!! Go Me!!!

SO Glad it is Friday!!

After this week...living for the weekend has never been more true!! This week was by far the hardest I have worked since I've been at CWT!! People think that working a desk job is not tiring or exhausting. To all you manual laborers out there: You don't know tired til you are mentally exhausted!!

It's 10p and I can barely keep my eyes open! I am gonna talk to my momma and hit the sack! My sweetie is in the bed already with a splitting headache, poor baby. I wish I could be there to just rub his head until he fell asleep next to me...

Okay, okay...back to reality. He hasn't had the best week either, and unfortunately, today just brought it all to a head. Sometimes, people would do so much better if they just kept their mouth shut! I mean, I know how hard and long he's been working...just trying to get caught up (from a mess he inherited, mind you). So for the supervisor to say what he did? It pissed me the hell off, so I can imagine what he really feels like!!

I made it to Wal-Mart to get vacuum cleaner exchanged today. After heavy research, I decided on a vacuum cleaner, went to 2 different stores, only to get it home and discover it was missing the cannister!! Not very helpful for the vacuum to suck the crap up from the floor, only to spray it on everythig else because there is no canister to collect it in!! So, I picked up the kids and we went in and out of Wal-Mart, didn't even get a pack of gum!! I will likely be back there tomorrow with my list, but I knew what I needed for right this second.

The kids are doing great. We watched a movie from Redbox this evening called The Seeker. It was a neat little sci-fi fantasy type movie. They all enjoyed it. Isis and Eclipse were in here the whole time as well, so it was a whole family affair! I made a vet appointment for them finally to get their shots. It's the first week in May, so I have a little time to prepare, though the cost isn't too terrible, especially since it's only once a year.

Ok, I am fading surely. I typed as fast as I could to get the day's highlights out, but I can't hold on any longer! Let The Weekend Officially Begin!!




p.s. I ate a cinnamon roll from Krispy Kreme today, but threw away a third of it. I just didn't really want it that bad! Go Me!!!