Things are pretty tough right now financially, so I barely wanted to get out of bed this morning. But I did, and had a decent morning getting ready. Made it to work on time, which is always good. Was almost in tears on the way there, but I pulled it together.
I am such an desperate financial state that I am willing to do something that was once unthinkable!
NO...not that!!!!
I am thinking about asking my first husband (ie, DJ's father) to give me the money. I mean, really, I have never in 11 years asked him for anything additional. Not for pictures or sports fees or when the power was off or when the water was off. Never. So, I have to work up the nerve to actually humble myself enough to ask.
Meanwhile, I am breaking down my inner me to figure out why I keep ending up at the same point in my life: broke, busted and disgusted! (as the saying goes) I am definitely making headway, and am currently in the process of changing that "stinkin' thinkin'" to a more fruitful, productive, and positive me!
By the way, if you as a woman are looking for a great book to help you "sort things out" and get on the "right track", PLEASE run to the nearest bookstore and buy a copy of The Power of Focus for Women by Fran Hewitt!!! I know I have mentioned it before, but I can't say enough about it and how it is getting to the root of so many of my issues! After I finish this one, I will go back and read The Power of Focus by Les Hewitt, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen (Chicken Soup for the Soul series co-authors).
One thing I know I have to do, but haven't done is keep a money log. I need to be more mindful of every dollar I spend, so that I can determine where I bleed currency every month. It will be hard to do this week, since I have NO MONEY to watch, but nonetheless I have to begin somewhere.
I am glad to put this day behind me. I had a very bad email issue come up at work today from something I sent to those I thought were friends (and mature adults), and one person ruined it for all involved. I was so upset and embarrassed, that when I finally had to confront him about it, I let him have it! Sometimes these holier-than-thou, sanctimonious, I'm-better-than-you-
because-I-go-to-church-every-Sunday people are just TOO MUCH for me to deal with!! What they don't realize is that THEY are the reason some people avoid churches altogether...to avoid their judgmental asses!! After relaying the story to my mother, she summed it up quite nicely: "The devil won this round. Instead of everyone just focusing on the positiveness of the message of God, the message was lost in the mess that this other person created!"
So, my status message on yahoo currently states this: 'Funny how the devil uses people of God for his dirtywork...and they don't even know it!'
Ending this to say, quite simply, any and all esteem and regard I had for the Commander has left. I wish him the best, but all such foolishness and negativity will be cut from my life. It's a new day for me!
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
June 30, 2008
June 28, 2008
Meet The Browns
That movie was really something. It had me in tears on parts that noone else except someone who's been there would understand. From the not enough food to the utilities being turned off (will never in my life forget hearing Starr ask if we were going to die of thirst, after learning that the water was turned off) to the threats of no daycare for non-payment. Since I know Tyler Perry didn't secretly stalk me just to write this movie, I know I am not alone! But wow, it was almost like watching Angela Bassett (who I love as an actress) portray parts of my life. And yeah whatever, I know it was a movie, but I still believe that if I keep doing the right thing and praying (which I will do more of), I will get my "happily ever after" too.
Quite a surreal experience, to say the least!
Now, where is Rick Fox...I'm waiting!
Quite a surreal experience, to say the least!
Now, where is Rick Fox...I'm waiting!
The Prodigal SoloMommy Is Back!!
Will the wonders never cease? That was some dramatic note to leave you on, huh?
Again I will say, I will not do this again. This time, I actually mean it. Blogging was such a great release for me, I have truly missed it. But, I am surely getting back on track now. Don't worry, no major catastrophes happened, I just got busy and out of sync.
I finished my first training for a client with Arise! It took three weeks, and it was VERY hectic but I made it by the grace of God and God alone. The enemy was very busy at the last minute, when it came down to proving my skills and knowledge to be certified for this client, but God prevailed on my behalf! Then my internet service was down for a few days after I got certified, so I couldn't work. I had to take off half day at work just to get the repair tech out here...and you know how tricky that is at my job!
I feel accomplished at this stage in time. I am ready two very good books right now. Silence the Naysayers by Kirby Jones is an excellent read. The Power of Fcous for Women by Fran Hewitt (wife of Power of Focus co-author Lew Hewitt) is phenomenal as well. They are both literally complementing each other in drilling into my head a new - and better - way of thinking!
Dante has been his usual self. Always knows how to make me laugh. I have seen him once in the last few weeks, it was a surprise thief-in-the-night visit. He was in Sikeston at a softball tourney, and I was just leaving the drive-in at about 1a with the kids.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, that is all he came in for! Thank Goodness, cause we both were struggling at the time!
Hey, we can talk on the telephone! :-)
As far as out relationship goes, it still is what it is. I had begun to put a lot of pressure on it in my head, because I am growing restless in this single state. But, honestly, now is not the time for either of us. And, I have come to the realization that we may just be all we are ever going to be right now. I absolutely adore him, am very glad I met him, and would like to always have him on my team - even if it's only as a friend. Putting that thought in my head - while not dooming a relationship before it could happen - has definitely made things easier. I feel like we can be comfortable to just enjoy each other again.
Can't Get Right called himself yet again making a play for me. What's funny is that he talked a big talk and almost had me confused for a minute there, thinking this could be "it" this time. Whateva!! I did make it clear to him that no matter what kind of "history" we have, I would not leave my Dante for him. I'm just not that girl, you know? But, no worries, because as usual he lost steam!
Kids are doing great. We are keeping count with Bruzer and the whole not-peeing-the-bed-when-you-sleep deal. Kind of out of necessity because I didn't have the money for pullups at first, but now it's just a matter of priority. I think he could definitely do it if he knew a) he didn't have that crutch pullup to fall back on or b) he had the fear of getting his hide tanned by me for constantly NOT doing what I know he's capable of doing. So far, so good! I am proud of him, and he definitely gets rewarded. Up on the block for the weekend are a pair of croc-type shoes that light up. He goes swimming once a week at the Y with the preschool, so I thought that would be cool for him!
Champagne is doing swimming lessons this summer too. Next year, when Bruzer graduates from preschool, I will have all four kids going to the Y summer camp, since the WonderTwins will surely be old enough. She is so excited about going to kindergarten with the "big kids". I am too. My child care costs will change drastically!!
Getting ready to go over the whole "your changing body" thing with Starr. I bought books because I know she is like me. The one book I gave her today and she finihed it today. The other book has very graphic...um...male parts (drawings) in it too, and I don't know if I'm ready for that or not. I worked off and on today so we didn't get a chance to talk about it, but we will hopefully tomorrow.
DJ is DJ, growing everyday. Sometimes I have to remind him of what his place is. I don't play that "you're the man of the house" crap. If you don't have a job contributing a vast amount to the bills, you ARE NOT the man of my house! That's still me too!
The girlz are doing well. Isis actually likes me a bit more now, especially since I treat them with canned food! They really need to be trimmed up, poor things are just hot with all that hair. Oh, and mama is too frugal to turn on the air conditioning yet! Sor-ry! I like the way the power bill looks right now, trying to keep it that way for as long as possible!
So, never fear, solomommy is back in full force! Wipe away your tears...all is well with the world again!
Again I will say, I will not do this again. This time, I actually mean it. Blogging was such a great release for me, I have truly missed it. But, I am surely getting back on track now. Don't worry, no major catastrophes happened, I just got busy and out of sync.
I finished my first training for a client with Arise! It took three weeks, and it was VERY hectic but I made it by the grace of God and God alone. The enemy was very busy at the last minute, when it came down to proving my skills and knowledge to be certified for this client, but God prevailed on my behalf! Then my internet service was down for a few days after I got certified, so I couldn't work. I had to take off half day at work just to get the repair tech out here...and you know how tricky that is at my job!
I feel accomplished at this stage in time. I am ready two very good books right now. Silence the Naysayers by Kirby Jones is an excellent read. The Power of Fcous for Women by Fran Hewitt (wife of Power of Focus co-author Lew Hewitt) is phenomenal as well. They are both literally complementing each other in drilling into my head a new - and better - way of thinking!
Dante has been his usual self. Always knows how to make me laugh. I have seen him once in the last few weeks, it was a surprise thief-in-the-night visit. He was in Sikeston at a softball tourney, and I was just leaving the drive-in at about 1a with the kids.
I know what you're thinking. Yes, that is all he came in for! Thank Goodness, cause we both were struggling at the time!
Hey, we can talk on the telephone! :-)
As far as out relationship goes, it still is what it is. I had begun to put a lot of pressure on it in my head, because I am growing restless in this single state. But, honestly, now is not the time for either of us. And, I have come to the realization that we may just be all we are ever going to be right now. I absolutely adore him, am very glad I met him, and would like to always have him on my team - even if it's only as a friend. Putting that thought in my head - while not dooming a relationship before it could happen - has definitely made things easier. I feel like we can be comfortable to just enjoy each other again.
Can't Get Right called himself yet again making a play for me. What's funny is that he talked a big talk and almost had me confused for a minute there, thinking this could be "it" this time. Whateva!! I did make it clear to him that no matter what kind of "history" we have, I would not leave my Dante for him. I'm just not that girl, you know? But, no worries, because as usual he lost steam!
Kids are doing great. We are keeping count with Bruzer and the whole not-peeing-the-bed-when-you-sleep deal. Kind of out of necessity because I didn't have the money for pullups at first, but now it's just a matter of priority. I think he could definitely do it if he knew a) he didn't have that crutch pullup to fall back on or b) he had the fear of getting his hide tanned by me for constantly NOT doing what I know he's capable of doing. So far, so good! I am proud of him, and he definitely gets rewarded. Up on the block for the weekend are a pair of croc-type shoes that light up. He goes swimming once a week at the Y with the preschool, so I thought that would be cool for him!
Champagne is doing swimming lessons this summer too. Next year, when Bruzer graduates from preschool, I will have all four kids going to the Y summer camp, since the WonderTwins will surely be old enough. She is so excited about going to kindergarten with the "big kids". I am too. My child care costs will change drastically!!
Getting ready to go over the whole "your changing body" thing with Starr. I bought books because I know she is like me. The one book I gave her today and she finihed it today. The other book has very graphic...um...male parts (drawings) in it too, and I don't know if I'm ready for that or not. I worked off and on today so we didn't get a chance to talk about it, but we will hopefully tomorrow.
DJ is DJ, growing everyday. Sometimes I have to remind him of what his place is. I don't play that "you're the man of the house" crap. If you don't have a job contributing a vast amount to the bills, you ARE NOT the man of my house! That's still me too!
The girlz are doing well. Isis actually likes me a bit more now, especially since I treat them with canned food! They really need to be trimmed up, poor things are just hot with all that hair. Oh, and mama is too frugal to turn on the air conditioning yet! Sor-ry! I like the way the power bill looks right now, trying to keep it that way for as long as possible!
So, never fear, solomommy is back in full force! Wipe away your tears...all is well with the world again!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)