There are still good people out there!

Many Many thanks to Jim who has a P.O. Box at the post office I go to!! Why, you ask??

Because I bought a roll of 100 27 cent stamps yesterday to get my small postcards mailed....and LOST THEM!! I was sure they were in the car hiding somewhere (though I looked extensively), and had even cleaned out my purse looking for them. Nada!

So I begrudgingly head back to the post office to buy more, refusing to be deterred from getting them mailed today! The clerk remembers me from yesterday and GIVES ME MY ROLL OF STAMPS!! He said a man named Jim brought them and he immediately knew whose they were! I blessed that man right then and there, and the clerk said he would pass on the message. WHAT A BLESSING!!!!!

Moving Forward

So this week I have been working on creating a list of churches in the area. I have some postcards that were printed months ago specifically for travel for churches that I have yet to send out. I finished the list yesterday and printed the labels...AND labeled the postcards! Today I bought the stamps and tomorrow they get dropped in the mail first thing!

I also began printing my brochures today as well. I decided to do the work myself (since I've got the time) and just pay for ink as needed. I've already got the right paper, both matte and glossy as well. Tomorrow will be more printing and folding, while also compiling a list of businesses to target with these brochures. I am thinking about hand-delivering. But then again, I am tempted to write a quick intro letter to accompany it in an envelope with my business card. We'll see...at least I am gaining momentum!

I also put in for a couple of work at home companies today, as backups. I will also weave guru.com and elance.com into my everyday or weekly routine of bidding for projects. This feels like progress!!!

The Atlanta Getaway

What a wonderful trip we had! I drove to Memphis Thursday night, so we could fly out early Friday morning to Atlanta. Everything went off without a hitch! He had one of his Marines that lived in the complex drive us to the airport that morning, and we had plenty of time to wait before boarding. Flight got in early by about 15 minutes. Got to the hotel and there were no 1 bedroom suites available at that time. It was barely 10a, so that was expected. We decided to wait for one, and the front desk manager, Tony, directed us to a restaurant called the Flying Biscuit! YUM!!!! Good, good, good....and good for you too!!! I would have loved to go there again, but we were keeping an eye on the budget.

Our room was amazing! It was huge! Large bedroom with king-size bed. Living room, kitchen with all the accessories, and a balcony to boot!!! Pretty everything we planned to do was in walking distance, so I saw no reason to get a rental car. (Yes, we did utilize every part of the room...including the balcony!)

The first night was our only snafu. We went to dinner and to the movies. We had been drinking alcohol all day. He was drinking Vox and lemonade, and I was drinking Verdi sparkling wine. We each ordered a drink from the bar while we waited for our table. They make their drinks VERY STRONG at Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro in Atlanta! By the time we got to the table he was heavily involved in a text conversation. He told me a little earlier that it was one of the Marines regarding something at work. I believed him, but there was still a part of me that was a bit suspicious when it was going on 11p central time and these texts were still coming. My big problem was that, during the meal, he wasn't really talking to me between bites...he was texting!! No, I didn't hold my tongue about it either. I told him at least once that I was annoyed about it, yet nothing really changed. He went to sleep during the movie, which was expected. Unfortunately though, the last thing he did as he fell asleep was texting! Now, I could have taken that moment to look at his temporarily unlocked phone and see what the real story was, but I absolutely refuse to go down that road again!

On the walk home, I was very quiet and he finally asked me why. I told him straight on what my problem was and that I do not ever expect something like that to happen again. Frankly, it was flat out rude to say the least!!!

After that, his phone was a mere afterthought the rest of the weekend...as it should have been. We were completely into each other. We talked, we played games, we watched TV, we watched a movie, we napped midday. It was truly a blissful vacation for us both!

Already has me anxious to do it again!

The Week in Review

So, I did make it to my trip with Dante. But of course, not without the usual levels of stress. I think this was even higher though. Probably because I had plane tickets this time, and I was so looking forward to it! Long story short, I got to go, but not without a few tense conversations with The Officer. At one point, I reminded her of the trip and she professed to have no idea what I was talking about!! I was livid. Then I felt like I was judged because the trip was more than Friday to Sunday. But, as usual, my mom calmed me down, being the peacekeeper she is. However, when we have our next family meeting, I will bring my feelings up to everyone then.

What feelings you ask? Just the fact that I never make them feel like they make me feel when I ask for something with the kids. I always have to hear the grumbling and semi-complaining, but they hear nothing of the sort from me when I am asked to take kids to the hair salon or wait an extra 20-30 minutes for someone to get out of band. Even worse, after The Officer told me that come heck or high water she was driving to Mt. Vernon this past weekend - and nothing was stopping her...she had the nerve to show up with the kids the next morning and tell me that she had to work that day til 530p!! What if I had plans??? She doesn't even ask!

Anyway, I got to go and had a blast. We really enjoyed each other's company this past weekend. Well, all except for that incident with cell phone and texting Friday night...

(Story later)

Misunderstandings

You know, it's amazing how a few words can throw things way out of proportion! I was talking to Dante yesterday about my father and how because of the fact that he pretty much never called me or came to visit me, I was more of a pursuer than one to be pursued. Then he made a comment about since I am not breastfully endowed (my words) or overly blessed in the rear that I would easily be overlooked by most men. He wasn't indicating that I wasn't attractive, but that's just what most men (black men in particular) look for. I tried to point out to him that I have no problem attracting men and never have... not by far. So when I meant pursuing men, I didn't mean the first one to make contact with the guys, I just meant I was calling more than they were calling me. But, it did kind of set in and bug me for a minute that he thought that. Sometimes our minds can really be overboard, can't they??

Then I see the BFF has a status message on Messenger that I know for fact is directed toward a comment I made the other day. But when I ask her about she just basically shuts me down saying she doesn't want to talk about it. SO I try to change the subject, and again I get shut down. Nothing else I can do right? Don't wanna make her more upset before her big interview.
STOP THE PRESSES!
This is what happens when you have a blog. People go back and read something and then you are on the hot seat for it. Most of the blogging I do is therapy-like. On the days when something's bothering me, I get it out then I'm done with it. She got upset at me because she read the blog about the weekend she was here. As I explained to her, perhaps I am the wrong thinker on this. Especially after my computer guy made mention of a similar situation yesterday, and his reply was leaning more so towards what she feels rather than me. So maybe it's me. I can concede to that. She was also bothered that I vented my frustrations about her not being available for me to talk to, because as of the past year it's been about her. My reply was that I will be frustrated, that's just how it is, but that doesn't mean that I'm angry at her or don't understand. I mean, for pete's sake, I've been the talker WAY more than she has! So it would be selfish of me not to understand that, but that doesn't mean I have to like it! :) I mean hey, that's life you know! I made it clear that if I have something I need to talk out, I have other options. Wayne has been invaluable, and I am very good friends with Dante as well so that I don't have a problem talking to him.
I do think we worked it out though. She has his desire that everything be easy and happy, and it's not always like that. But the fact that we can be adults and talk it out is most important to me!

Challenges

This is very good! I got it off a community I belong to called morningcoach.com. They have a podcast available free on iTunes, as well as their online presence. This is absolutely awesome! Enjoy!!

Life is full challenges, and if we see those challenges as merely a fork in the road, you will understand that they represent either a "Breakthrough" or a "Breakdown". How you choose to interpret each of these forks, will determine your success in life.

Here is what we all need to understand, that you should expect to experience 3-9 critical turning points, or significant changes in your life. These translations can be happy experiences. Or unhappy times, such as job loss, divorce, financial setbacks, health problems, and the death of loves ones. It is during these times in your life that you make the conscious decision to focus on the positive, or the negative. These times are crucial for developing your character. Depending on how you handle these times, will determine your future success in life. You can either decide to look at your challenges and let yourself breakdown, or you can use the challenge and have a major breakthrough. One will give you victory, and the other will give you defeat. Let's look at it from another viewpoint.

I've found that there are really only two types of people in this world when it comes to dealing with discouragement: splatters and bouncers. When splatters hit rock bottom, they fall apart, and they stick to the bottom like glue. On the other hand, when bouncers hit bottom, they pull together and bounce back. Statistics have proven that 90% of those who fail are not actually defeated. They simply quit. That is what discouragement can do to you if you don't handle it the right way-it can cause you to quit. Since you will become discouraged at some point in life, the question is, Are you going to give up or get up? Make the decision to get up and bounce back today.

Useless...Kinda

I feel like I am drifting along aimlessly. Like a dead ship floating in the vast ocean. Things are going horribly at the old job: mandatory 5-hour/week cuts, pay freeze, no 401k matching, no raises. Then to top it all off, they just found out that the company is shutting down the office they are in, so if they want to keep their jobs, they will have to drive to the main building which is a 40 minute from the current office! I am SO THANKFUL I am not faced with that dilemma, on top of the weird schedules they are offering with this new shorter workweek. So very grateful.

But on the other hand, I am just living off the state right now. May as well be a welfare mom at this rate! Yeah, I said it! What? I have 2 more months of unemployment left, then I am on my own. Sink or Float. What am I going to do?

I choose neither!!! Sinking is NOT an option, and floating ain't so grand either! I would rather get this engine roaring and take off full steam ahead!!!!!

As far as the title? I feel I am more of a liability than an asset right now. I mean what am I offering Dante right now but 5 additional mouths to feed? It's not like I have the means to contribute right now, so that burden would all be on him. Who the hell wants to sign up for that?? Really, I am no better right now than a welfare mom that lives to collect a check every month to sit on her Apple Bottom-covered ass! I want to be more. I desire to be more. I AM more. God put this burning desire in my heart, and nothing I do or don't do will quell that desire for my own business! Nothing left to do but pound the pavement.

The shoe company said it best:


JUST DO IT!

Bruzer's Birthday Recap

I decided since it was such a nice day that I would barbecue for the family. I took cupcakes that I bought at Sam's to Bruzer's pre-school on Friday - complete with Batman rings on each. So that was a big hit for him. While I was at Sam's, I ordered a cake for Saturday with Spiderman on it.

I dropped the kids off at Leigh's house- thanks to her for offering - while I did the last minute running around. It enabled me to get the cake plus a few extra items, and then hit WallyWorld for a gift. I got him a Batman Batcopter and the Batman play outfit. Turned out everyone was having such a good time at Leigh's house, including some of her inlaws that had stopped by, I just decided to cook everything at home and bring it over there! The great thing is we live about 3 minutes apart. I mean like, a song on the radio is halfway over by the time I get home. So it wasn't a great big deal to get everything together. Everyone had a great time!

Oh yeah! The other highlight of the day was that - on his 5th birthday - Bruzer lost his first tooth! It had been wiggly for a few days, but I knew that my brother-in-law would be the one to pull it. He's done that for pretty much all the kids, and I definitely wanted Bruzer to have to experience too! He was so proud to show me his little ziploc bag. How fitting that the 'tooth fairy' gave him $5 for that tooth on his 5th birthday! The one next to that one is loose also (front teeth on the bottom), so we'll have to go back down to the standard $1 for every tooth from now on!

Yep, I remember when it used to be a quarter too!

Strange Weekend

Well, the good news is that Bruzer's B-Day went well. I will expand on that tomorrow though. I'm pretty bummed right now. The BFF came into town this weekend...and surprise, surprise I didn't get to see her at all! I mean she came in Friday and left Saturday so it was a quick trip. She also had her new guy Armando with her too though. Wouldn't it have made sense for the BFF to meet the new beau??? She couldn't even stop by on her way out of town on Saturday.

Granted I let her off the hook on Saturday, but that's how I am. She sounded like she was in a dilemma about stopping off at my house on her back to the Chi, so I just saved her the dilemma by telling her no worries. Actually, it was more like 'I guess we'll just see you when we come up there in a couple of months'...to which she replied she would be back here in a couple of weeks....to which I dryly replied 'Well maybe I'll get to see you then.' I'm learning to be a very slow to anger person, something I am proud of. Until the anger hits! How does she really think I feel knowing that it was more important for her to see a two-year-old than her best friend?!?!?! This little kid wasn't the one she was calling at the crack of dawn most mornings when she needed to talk and no one else would understand. The kid was not the one that suffered in silence with her own issues because she demanded things be all about her for that time being. That was ME! And I would gladly do it again, because that's what friends do!! But am I a priority on the list for 10 minutes even when you come to my 'neck of the woods' to visit? NOPE!

So how am I supposed to feel? Can someone tell me that?

Big Day Tomorrow

I have a whole house to clean tomorrow! I am planning a barbecue for Bruzer's birthday Saturday, so that gives me a perfect excuse! If I do what I am supposed to do tomorrow, it's likely that alot of stuff will hit the trash! I may just apply the "organizer's rule" to it all: If hasn't been worn/handled/dealt with in the last 1-3 years (depending on my mood), give it away!!

Meanwhile, I walked two miles today on the course. Nice brisk pace, no trouble with the lungs either. Now, I just have to work on my eating habits again. I ate the last mini Reese's cup tonight, and I even gave away my beloved Red Hot Riplets to the kids!! I gotta get back to the beach...South Beach, that is! Yes!! As in South Beach Diet! It really worked for me. This time I just have to keep at it after Phase 2, and not put all those bad carbs (non-wheat pasta, potatoes, junk food) back in the body after I get to my ideal weight!

I may try something drastic to "jumpstart" this whole process! I will keep you posted after a couple of days, if I decide to do it.

All in all, today was a good day.

My First Day

I'm thinking I may start a solomommy fitness blog pretty soon, because I am serious about this. Those stats yesterday really smacked me hard, and I can't even tell you why!!!

I went walking today for about 20 minutes. I started late which is why I only walked one mile. I had to wait until it warmed up a little bit. But any morning it's nice enough for me to start at 830a, I will walk at least 45 minutes. I would love to find some walking trails that have a few inclines in them. But perhaps for a challenge in the next few weeks, I will incorporate walking the steps at Monk's Mound into my routine once a week.

I am really excited about this!!!

Getting back on track

Today was good. It was productive, and I didn't even stress when a setback occurred. UNLIKE yesterday, that is! I gave up on that new bank. I found out my old bank had closed my account. I went there and paid the balance due, and they allowed to reopen an account with them. Unfortunately I still have to wait for the much-needed debit card to come in the mail. But I did submit everything to the new travel host, and that's all they're waiting on.

I thought I could skate by with the old card and just update them with the new one, but they called me today to let me know they tried a preauth and it failed. OMG...just thought about it! Duh!! I can use my other debit card until my new check card comes in!!! I don't know why I didn't think of that!! I can't wait to call first thing in the morning! The good thing was, I didn't even stress about it.

In other news, I had my ultrasound today. They did the test two different ways, and found no fibroids. Yay! She also found no ovarian cysts. Yay! She did say there was 'junk' in my uterine lining, and I told her about the chemical D&C I am in the midst of. Her (the technician's) reply was she hoped it worked so I would have to have an actual one in the operating room. D&C stands for 'dilation & curettage'...which is where they basically scrape your uterine walls squeeky clean. Gonna try to avoid that one! I am starting to think that perhaps it is just hormonal. But I will wait to see if I get a call about abnormal lab results first, before jumping to conclusions. I'm just glad the ball is rolling on this!

And in the back of my mind I am wondering if this had anything to do with my tubes now being tied, and could reversal reverse these effects. Worth a thought...

I have decided after taking my blood pressure several times this evening on my new home monitor, that I can't keep taking chances. I want to be healthy and vibrant for a lot of years to come. Dig these cold hard facts from the Stroke Association's website:

Heart disease and stroke are major health risks for all people. But African Americans are at particularly high risk. Consider this:

• Blacks have almost twice the risk of first-ever strokes compared to whites.
• Blacks have higher death rates for stroke compared to whites.
• The prevalence of high blood pressure in African Americans in the United States is the highest in the world.
• Among non-Hispanic blacks age 20 and older, 62.9 percent of men and 77.2 percent of women are overweight or obese.
• In 2001, 27.7 percent of black or African-Americans only, used any tobacco product. Heavy cigarette smoking approximately doubles a person’s risk for stroke when compared to light smokers..
• Black women have higher prevalence rates of high blood pressure, obesity, physical inactivity, and diabetes than white women.

Woooooow!!! Harsh, a little? Hell yeah! As it should be! Even on this new medicine for 6days now, I still am testing at Stage 1 Hypertension levels...AND getting dizzy at times too!! Excuses are bullshit, I've gotta get moving!! I've got a LOT to do, starting immediately and time is ticking!! I know, I know....I have said it all before. It may take me a minute, but it's finally sinking in now. I PROMISE!!