It;s that time of year again...

Swapping out the summer clothes for the winter ones. I get depressed right about now because, frankly, I despise winter!! It's just that simple! I don't like being cold...Period! And no amount of snuggling or hot chocolate or any of that other BS people say will change that for me!

It is so windy outside today, that means cold air is coming. I finally broke down a couple of days ago and turned on the heat inside. I knew I was being ridiculous when I was sitting at the computer typing and had to keep stopping and blowing into my hands to warm them up! Mind you, it doesn't take much for my hands to get cold, if that's any consolation.

So times are pretty interesting right now. Bills are piling up a bit, but the major ones are covered so that's what matters. I mean really, who's bills aren't looking bad right now? But you know what? My mindset has changed drastically, and I am ready to overcome so that I can reach the level that I want to be at.

I went to one of my former co-worker's house on Friday night and just to see my kids reactions told me what I really wanted. Her house was very large and in a pretty new subdivision. Huge rooms, on a cul-de-sac, 3 car garage...you know the drill. But, I know where she works and how much she makes, and that she doesn't have to work so the husband must make pretty decent money. But you know, not too long, that house would have been a "dream house" for me. Something I could only wish for. Not anymore. That type of house is my goal. That's what I want my first house to be, and not very far from now either.

I can see it clear as day, and that's something I couldn't see before. Progress as promised!!

Learning Curves Suck!

So, I've been ebaying the past week or so. Just decided to make a profit off some of the items I have around here that are in too good a shape to just "give away". Well, all I can say is this learning curve is a Bitch! Here's what's happened so far:

I started out my auctions too low (trying to save a few cents off the listing fee), and they sold at that ultra low starting price!

I didn't exclude international on one, and underquoted the shipping charges.

One pair of Skechers boots from Starr sold pretty good, about $15 plus S&H...thank goodness.

DJ's Skechers casuals sold for the .99 starting price - to Canada - and I ended up paying $5 MORE to ship this item than the buyer paid me altogether!

What have I learned from this fiasco? Nothing outside of the US at this point. Start your auction at the lowest price you are willing to accept. Check, double-check, then recheck your auction before and right after listing!

Just thought I'd share that with you!

One of the best Blonde Jokes I've heard...

Yes, we've all heard a few 'dumb blonde' jokes in our life. If you haven't you've been under a rock!
This is by far one of the funniest I've heard:

A blonde calls her boyfriend and says, 'Please come over here and help
me.

I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get
started.'

Her boyfriend asks, 'What is it supposed to be when it's finished?'

The blonde says, 'According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster.'

Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.


She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over
the table.

He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to
her and says,

'First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to
assemble these pieces

into anything resembling a rooster.'

He takes her hand and says, 'Second, I want you to relax. Let's have a
nice cup of tea, and then ...'

He said with a deep sigh,





'Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box.'

Tyler Perry Makes History

I hadn't read this story before, it came out a few weeks ago. But, how wonderful! What an inspiration to all of us! I really like what he says about Oprah, I'll put it in bold:

History was made Saturday night, when Tyler Perry became the first African-American ever to launch his own major TV and film studio.

But that wasn't the only reason Will Smith was tipping his hat to Perry at the gala Atlanta event in the old Delta Airlines headquarters [ WOW! ] that now serve as Perry's studio.

"I admire most that he can be that tall and wear a white suit," said Smith, 40, never to waste a punch line. "I usually have to avoid white. At this height, you don't tend to look sexy in white suits, but he pulled it off."

The same could be said when it came to Perry's impressive guest list, which brought out the top names from past and present Hollywood and other spheres of influence: Oprah Winfrey, Sidney Poitier, Ruby Dee, Cicely Tyson, Louis Gossett, Jr., Holly Robinson Peete, Tracey Edmonds, music mogul L.A. Reid, singer John Legend, America's Next Top Model winner Eva Pigford, not to mention baseball legends Hank Aaron and Barry Bonds – among others.

And Oprah Cried

"I spent 56 years making movies and this is the reward that I have that means the most to me," said Poitier, 81, the first African-American to win a Best Actor Oscar, for 1963's Lilies of the Field.

A New Orleans native with a troubled childhood, Perry, 39, credited all of his guests with inspiring his life. Of Winfrey, who attended the celebration with longtime beau Stedman Graham and best friend Gayle King, Perry said, "She owns her life. I am learning that. I never would have shown this to people a few years ago. I was embarrassed by the success."

As a large cast of attendants passed around champagne and tissues for the teary-eyed (who were many), Perry shared his rags-to-riches story over a large video screen that eventually gave way to a live singer and band delivering "The Impossible Dream," followed by a fireworks display. Mary J. Blige, Patti Labelle and Gladys Knight also treated guests to separate performances.

At one point, Perry unveiled a special surprise for veteran trailblazers Poitier, Dee and Tyson: each now has a soundstage named after him and her.

"Is this my wall?" joked Poitier – as Winfrey dissolved into tears.

Tide of Change

All joking aside, it was Will Smith who best summed up Perry's accomplishment and the tide of change taking place in America today.

"This is an American first, and the first in the universe," said the I Am Legend star. "There is something happening in America and in the world that's powerful. He is not letting anyone get in his way.

"Those are the wonderfully naïve, arrogant, humble, powerfully American concepts that make things powerful in this country. It's big."

Self-Worth

I am going through some things that are helping me to break free of past mental mindsets. One of the things I discovered about myself came today while talking to the bff. I was thinking about my past conditioning when it came to being given money - especially by men. Here's what happened:

I was dating ('going with' was the term back then) this guy named DeWayne who was a few years older than me. It was the summer between sophomore and junior year for me, and he had just graduated high school. Because of this, my mom looked at him as a "grown man". All was well until he gave me a silver necklace. Not a gold necklace, but a probably $20 silver necklace! She honestly didn't want me to take it from him. And you wanna know what she said about it? Listen to this seed she planted:
"If he is giving that to you, what does he expect from you in return?"

WOW!! You may not see it, but boy I do! That seed, plus listening to conversations over the years with my family, took root. Over time, it turned into an 'ownership' thing. You know, the man would think he owned you by giving you money. My personal favorite (and my sometimes motto) was "It's just another way of prostituting"! That's why I couldn't just take the gesture that Dante made as simple kindness for a friend. I knew he wouldn't throw it back in my face, or feel like he owned me or anything. But I instantly felt indebted to him because of it. And while to him it was a gift, I absolutely insisted that I would pay him back.

The chapter in the book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind, which I am reading now is talking about the art of receiving. This was something I always had problems with. Compliments, no big deal, but actually receiving money from people (namely men) was a big deal to me. Of course another big part of it had to do with my level of self-worth. It's a tough thing to admit, but my past and present speak for themselves. My self-worth has been pretty low, as far as monetarily. I mean as in what I believe I am worth - to be paid, to charge for my services, etc. It's a struggle, but I am winning finally! The battle is almost over because I have identified both the problem and the root cause! Victory is mine...

More revelations as they progress!

Blessings and Breakthroughs!

What a divine day! I finally had a very important lesson sink in! And I truly believe this will send my life into the direction that I have wanted for so long!

You know, I am only 34 years old...will be 35 in less than a month. I feel so blessed that I am finding these things out about myself now rather than in my fifties or sixties...or never! As G.I. Joe would say: Knowing is half the battle! I can truly pinpoint some very important factors that are holding me back in life and in doing so, I can correct them!

That most assuredly puts me on the upswing in my life! I wish I could say more, but this is even too personal for my blog right now. It's one of those that will have to been seen rather than talked about, you know?

God is so wonderful!

Sarah Palin...Just as Catty as I Suspected!

This story was released on the AP today:

Legislative panel: Palin abused authority

ANCHORAGE, Alaska - A legislative committee investigating Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin has found she unlawfully abused her authority in firing the state's public safety commissioner.

The investigative report concludes that a family grudge wasn't the sole reason for firing Public Safety Commissioner Walter Monegan but says it likely was a contributing factor.

The Republican vice presidential nominee has been accused of firing a commissioner to settle a family dispute. Palin supporters have called the investigation politically motivated.

Monegan says he was dismissed as retribution for resisting pressure to fire a state trooper involved in a bitter divorce with the governor's sister. Palin says Monegan was fired as part of a legitimate budget dispute.

Mysterious Ways...

Got a call from the bff today. Very quick call because she has been pretty busy at work. Glad she's doing okay. It could be coincidence (or - more likely - God calling me out on what I said the last post about feeling envy), but I thought it odd that she mentioned how upset it makes her when people are jealous of her other friends. She said she rebuked that because it was not a fruit of the Spirit. Then she said she doesn't belong to anyone. Coincidence??

Now, in no way do I disagree, and I checked myself about it already. I felt that I was being childish. I have no ill will towards Meda (the lady she stays with when she's here). Was happy to see her and hugged her with no reservations. But I wanted to be honest with myself too, and that's why I let the word be exposed in written form. Because you know what? If she comes to St. Louis and doesn't see me at all, that's her right to do so! The fault is not hers, it's mine. I pray to God to remove any remnants of envy in my heart, because it's a negative and unfruitful emotion...and that is NOT of God in any way.

So all is well in my world. As I stated in the last post, it's a cut-and-dry situation, it is what it is. When she comes to town, she stays with Meda, she hangs with Meda, she spends most of her time socializing with Meda. That's the way it is and I am 100% fine with that...because it's her choice and that's apparently what makes her happy, which is what matters most.

Life is a process, we learn more everyday. The key, however, is applying what we've learned.

Relentless!!!

The Joyce Meyer Women's Conference was this past weekend, and I really enjoyed it! WOW!!! I really, really enjoyed it! I got so much out of it! It was just things that I needed to hear. My bff came into town and we went together to 4 out of 5 conferences. She didn't make it to the one Saturday morning where Lisa Bevere spoke, and I almost didn't running late. But, I really loved her! She helped stoke my passion to learn to ride a motorcycle again! She even showed us a picture of her Ninja bike! I was soooo envious!

I didn't get to see the bff outside of the conference, since she was staying with her friend in St. Louis. There was a twinge of envy, but I really didn't get upset because that's how I expected it to be. I guess after that situation last year around my birthday having turned out so awfully, who can blame me!? I mean, point blank, when she comes here she stays with her...and that's that. She rants and raves about her daughter did this and said that. A little part of me always wonders if she ever does that to other people with my kids. Such as life, it is what it is!

Anyway, back to the subject...Creflo Dollar was on fire Thursday night! Joyce spoke both sessions on Friday. I caught the MetroLink over there everyday but Thursday. Now, don't get me wrong. Just because I went to this conference doesn't mean I was off the hook with the taxi service! I went to the 10a session after I dropped the kids off, came back and got lunch, picked up the kids, then headed back over there for the 7p session. It was so worth it...SO WORTH IT!!! I will be an "every year attendee" from this point on! Yolanda Adams and Darlene Zsesch (sp) were the praise and worship performers. My prayer was that I not lose that fire and passion for Christ that I had there. That I not lose that burning desire to never give up...to be Relentless!!

So far, so good!

In other news, my sweetie is feeling better. He's on the upswing, which makes me happy because he was definitely at the top of my prayer list. Kids are doing great in school. Mid-term grades look excellent!

Oh yeah, on a personal note...I cut my hair! I cut about 3 inches off. It was damaged, and I needed it done...and more importantly, I needed that change! I am happy I did it, very happy! Now, I will continue to take care of it like I always knew how, and watch it grow like weeds! I should see healthy armpit-length hair by my birthday 2009!

Going back on South Beach to get down to 170 too. I think I would be very happy with 170 toned, especially for my height. My punkin doesn't want me too thin, and it's not like I would even be considered "thick" now. I like the way I looked and felt when I first lost the weight back in April. I think I ended up at about 181 then, so 11 more pounds won't be that drastic! My punkin is not as assured however! That was a wonderful feeling of accomplishment I had going on then...and I want that back!

There is nothing I cannot do with God and my side. If God be for me, who can be against me? (Translation: If God is for me, it doesn't even matter who's against me...because I am already victorious!)

I made a promise before God, Joyce Meyer, my bff, and about 10,000 other women to Never Give Up!!! I meant it. I can't break a promise to God...