Updates

Okay, so never take that much time off at once and DO NOTHING!! It makes it very hard to get back to the daily grind!

My car was the water pump. Our resident mechanic -my sister's BD (baby-daddy)- said he has never seen one that bad before and was suprised it lasted that long. I told that van has the best coverage around. It is covered in prayer daily!! It still won't shift from second gear, and I need to have front brakes put on this weekend. But I'm getting from home to work -and all points in between- so that's the blessing!

The one guy that I sent an email to never responded. I am shocked, but I guess it happens to the best of us! I began chatting with someone I thought was an okay guy. Surely had a few issues, very sad story about wife and daughter killed in car accident and hasn't dated in five years. (hear the violin) I thought that was a little fishy, but I am open and honest and I expect the same. Sorry, sorry, my fault! The first time we chatted was cool...or so I thought. It was actually the setup. A few days went by and then he starts laying it on about how his mom really needed this surgery but he didn't have all the money he needed and what was he going to do. I forgot to mention he says he's in another country taking care of her, but usually lives in LA. So if he could just find someone in the states to open a citibank account and then his mom's friend in the Samoan Islands would wire the money there and then that someone could withdraw the money and send it to him then his mother would live. I know it was run-on, but you get the effect right?

All kinds of sirens were going off in my head by that time. When the chat first started last night, I got one or two warning signs, then went from there. He wasn't walking about any of the relationship stuff we chatted about the time before, any "getting to know you" stuff. This time he was crying because if his mother --who has leukemia, by the way-- doesn't get this surgery, she will die. I didn't know surgery can cure leukemia, but hey, I'm not a doctor either! So apparently the hook is to scour dating sights, pick someone under the guise of being interested in dating them, and then do this scam thing about the bank accounts. That's a shame, but it doesn't deter me from online dating.

Why?

Before online dating, I met my share of scammers in real world situations!!! Remind me to tell you about the WonderTwins father. If he didn't "borrow" my debit card from my purse a dozen times, he didn't do it once!! Not to mention the $1000 calling card (that was stolen) bill!

So anyway, I'll keep you posted occasionally on how the situation pans out. Maybe I'll find someone or maybe it's just not the season. I am working on being content either way.

On a good note physically, I am still consistent on my 100/100 challenge!! I have not missed a day, and I can feel my core strength and endurance increasing! Before I could only manage to do 50 at a time...and barely! That's why I broke it up into morning and night sets. But laziness in the morning has caused me to put it off until night. So for about a week now I've been doing 100 at night and... It's not killing me!!! I actually feel after 100 now like I did after 50 a couple of weeks ago!! WooHoo!!

Go me! Go me! Go me!

Thanksgiving

Today is Thanksgiving, a day to stuff ourselves to oblivion and visit with our family.

Nooooo... Let's try that again.

Today is a day to spend with family (and friends) and reflect upon the things in this life we are thankful for. So here are some of mine.

• I am thankful for DJ, Starr, Champagne, and Bruzer. Those are my children.
• I am thankful for my mother, my sisters, my nieces, and my friends.
• I am thankful that my children and my nieces know so well their 85-year-old great-grandmother.
• I am thankful for the large house I now live in, compared to the 2 bedroom townhouse all five us were in for far too long.
• I am thankful for the job that God has blessed me with. It pays well and I love what I do.
• I am thankful for my health, and for all the things that could be wrong with me but are not.
• I am thankful for every red light I was caught by, or every slow driver I was stuck behind who probably kept me from an "accident waiting to happen" ahead.
• I am thankful for the four major times that God spared my life. It reminds me that I have a purpose and I have work to do.
• I am thankful for the freedom to know God, to accept Jesus as my savior, and to be able to teach my children the same.
• I am also thankful that whatever is wrong with my car happened on a Wednesday evening before this 4-day Thanksgiving Weekend, and not when I had to go to work the next day!!!
  

Praise God!!! Hallelujah!!!!

What are you thankful for?

Breakin' The Rules

See, this is my problem. I make rules, and then I bend them. No, no, not break, just kinda curve to the side a little!

I know, you're not buying it. Neither am I...really.

I was looking around at Match.com this morning, something I never really did when I created my profile. Out of four pages of very specifically matched criteria search results, I saw one! I looked all through his profile, read what he wrote, looked at the pictures, and I like! So, since I'm not a subscriber, I sent a wink. That's a very generic way of letting that person know you're interested.

I guess if he winks back, I'll do the three day free membership to get his email address and we can communicate. If he winks back.

So..... I did my crunches this morning! That counts for the good, right?

Right?

A Day Off!!!

I had a day off today. From my FT day job that is. I'm at the PT WAH gig right now. Yeah, I know, it never stops.

But today, I did nothing. I had a loveseat full of clean clothes, and I didn't touch them! I watched Janet Jackson on The Tyra Banks Show. I ate a McDonald's Deluxe Breakfast Platter --then subsuquently ate no lunch. I played on myspace.com all day. Go see my page, it's really cute! I emailed back and forth with a guy I used to work with. He intimidates me because he is so fit. I don't mean like bodybuilder no-neck fit. I mean like 'everyday guy, nice arms, nice shoulders, nice chest, nice abs 'cause he works out' kind of fit.
And we all know I am big fat slob right now!

I reconnected with a couple of old acquaintances on myspace today. One of them, I'll call him Adonis, was very dear to me. I think I goofed that one up myself! I was all into The One back then. (and that's different from now, how exactly?) This was a few months before Alyssa was conceived. Also during my impending divorce. He told me one day while we were seeing each other that 'it's not like we could get serious or anything' because I was married. Well, I took that to mean he wasn't interested in getting serious because he was a few years younger than me, yet I was only 23. So the divorce was final in October 1997, we continued to 'kick it' as we had been. Even though he was Jehovah's Witness and didn't celebrate Christmas, he came to my family dinner. He invited me to his relatives' Friday night Fish Fry. What an idiot I was!!! Now looking back, we were really an item weren't we?
So what did I do? Well, at the same time this was going on, my ex-husband and his mistress were about to drive me bananas -- literally. So I went to visit The One is San Diego where he was stationed with the Army and fell in love! I was in travel at the time and had a free airline ticket and vacation. From the moment I stepped out of the terminal, I was in love!
Not with The One, with San Diego! El Nino was cuttin' up and my hotel (and the surrounding blocks) experienced a power loss. Unbeknownst to us, Alyssa was concieved. What else were we supposed to do in the dark?! Two weeks later on my next visit, I was looking at apartments and interviewing for jobs. I put a deposit down on a place before the week was up.

For the record: I only saw The One one time each visit. So I was not...I repeat...I was not moving 2200 miles with a 9-month-old to be with that man!

Back to Adonis. I, in my usual flippant and nonchalant style, broke the news to him that I was moving to San Diego. I am sure The One came up in the conversation too. I vaguely remember a 'What about us?" kind of question, and I made reference to his previous statement about us getting serious. He vehemently reminded me that I was no longer married!!! oops, Space Captain strikes again. (I have to be Captain now, since Alyssa is the Cadet)

I talked to him while I lived in San Diego. We even 'hooked up' a time or two when I moved back here. But, as usual, life moved on. At least we have myspace.

Then I went to pick up the kids, came home, cooked, did the mommying, watched Heroes, and headed up to work. I'm working 2 hours, then I'll do my 100 crunches and head to bed.

The Dating Game

Okay, so I think I have allowed sufficient time to heal from the PsychoRev (as he is not-so-affectionately known) and the Marriage That Thank God Never Was! So I have decided to put myself back on the market!
I could have been back "out there" but I was kind of holding out for The One or, as he currently known, Can't Get Right. Looks like I'm gonna have to let that situation go completely!

Once and for all.

Forever.

Dramatic? Yes, but it totally applies in this situation.

So what have I done asks the inquiring minds? I have spruced up my Yahoo!Personals online profile, and made it searchable again. It had been unsearchable since May of last year. I am registered with eHarmony, but my budget cannot afford to become a full member there! It's like $56 a month! I know, I know. I'm worth it and so is the Right Man. But, so is the water bill, ya feel me?

I also made a profile on Match.com as well. I am also just a member there, but I do plan to subscribe in the next month or so. I will do this the Genesis way, however. I have absolutely no intention of initiating contact with anyone. I don't care how fine or how perfect a match he is. If he doesn't "find me", it won't happen.

There are a lot more people under Match than YP, so I am kind of excited about that. We will see what happens. In the meantime, I may try to make an offline connection as well with a former co-worker. We'll see what he does with the information he's been given.

So why online dating? Because I don't go anywhere for one. I figure, if I shop online for everything else, why not this too? I put my priorities right out front, so if he doesn't like something...keep browsing man, keep browsing! Provided they are being honest (even if only for the most part), I get more of out looking at what they say on their profiles than by looking at them in a club. From there, I control exactly how fast or slow -or if at all- I want things to go. Do I just want to keep chatting or emailing for awhile? Do I want to give him my phone number? Is this someone I feel comfortable meeting in person? Each is different, and you have to go with your gut.

I'll keep you posted. Who knows? I may actually get to go out on a d-a-t-e!

Challenge!

So last night I started my 100 Crunches/100 Days challenge. I would like to see at least 2-3 inches off this waist by the new year. I break it up into morning and night sets, 50 each. To be quite honest with you, I feel like I have really accomplished something! I will finish this successfully, I love this feeling of accomplishment!
I have to start planning my reward for completion. NO!!! It will not be food!
Let's see...(checking the calendar)...100 days from yesterday is...February 23, 2007. Maybe a pedicure would be a great reward. Or a manicure. Or both. Or a massage. (this could go on forever)
I'll keep you posted.

Taking info from another blog I read, I plan on going on a fruit fast soon. I need to cleanse and detoxify my body, hopefully losing some unwanted poundage in the process.
Well, duh! Of course it will be after Thanksgiving!
That will be in the form of a challenge as well. Perhaps 10-14 days. The reward for that one? Hopefully fitting back into my fabulous jeans!
No, for the record, these are not BabyPhat or AppleBottoms or any other premium-priced pairs of jeans.
These are Newport News, bought them on sale for $9.99/pair, 33-34 inch inseams, dark denim, bootcut jeans. I feel great in them because I look great in them. My butt is off-the-chain in these jeans!!!
I am fascinated my my derriere, I will admit. I am very pleased to have one. A Real One. Not the little bump that most non-ethnic women call a butt. I've actually got "junk in my trunk"! Woohoo!!!

How did I get there? Oh yeah, rewards for challenges. One more.

30 Minutes/30 Days. Guess what that is? Yep 30 minutes of sustained exercise daily for 30 days straight. Perhaps November 20-December 20 sounds like a plan? The reward for completing this challenge? See the tangent above about my jeans!

Just Some Things On My Mind

1) I did 50 crunches last night before bed! AND, 50 crunches this morning when I first woke up!
Hot Stuff, Baby!!!! I'm on a personal 100 day/100 crunches challenge.

2) Can't Get Right still hasn't called or text messaged me to say Happy Birthday. Even after I sent him a message calling him out on it.

3) I am still financially challanged!

4) I'm still 190 pounds.

5) Baby, it's cold outside!

6) I've played hooky from church for one reason or another for the past several weeks.

7) I don't have to work Monday!

8) I may have a d-a-t-e Monday!

9) I need to clean my room! An accurate description would be it looks like it was hit by an F4 tornado!

10) I have officially begun full-fledged potty training for the Bruzer!!

That is all.

The Weekend Review

This past weekend was my great-aunt Mildred Helm's funeral. This was my grandmother's younger sister. She was 80 years old and lost a very long and very arduous battle with cancer. I initially hadn't planned on going to the funeral, since I didn't know her very well. But I decided to go for the sake of my grandmother. I'm glad I did.

But let's back it up to Friday first. I had to work that day. But, my oldest two children's daycare -which is also a Christian Church and K-3 school- closed at 2p that day in honor of Veteran's Day. Luckily, my mom works for the state so she was off work. She came to pick up my minivan then pick up all of my kids. She has a minivan too. I have a 1996 Dodge Grand Caravan (yeah I know, BIG BALLER) and she has a 1997 Chrysler Town and Country. Same vehicle, with a few minor details different. One major difference is that hers is missing the entire back bench! It's in my sister's basment. When I moved, I took both captain's chairs and the back bench out for more space. So, then she discovered she could do it too! For a goodwilling, yard-saling junkie, THIS IS NOT GOOD. I moved the last week in July, need I say more?

She ordered pizza and we stayed there at my sister's house until about 930p, then headed home. Saturday we got up early and were out of the house by about 1045a to get to the funeral on time.
Regarding the funeral. A word of advice. The following scripture is NOT APPROPRIATE for a funeral:

19
And many of the Jews had come to Martha and Mary to comfort them about their brother.
20
When Martha heard that Jesus was coming, she went to meet him; but Mary sat at home.
21
Martha said to Jesus, "Lord, if you had been here, my brother would not have died."

From the book of John. Yeah, they really used that scripture. Even for the eulogy!
And I forgot about the most priceless line EVER heard at a funeral. I swear this was said to my great uncle Eddie by the evangelical minister:
(ahem)
'You can't bring her back. But you can go to where she is."

I am not kidding! He really did say it! As he looked him in the eye and laid a gentle hand of comfort on his shoulder.

I know where he was going with that, and one more line after that would have made the difference. Something like, "We all can when we get to heaven." But nooooo, he was so pleased with himself, and he went and sat down!

So, then later ...
No, I can say nothing else about the funeral. I think that last bit was enough, right?
We went to the repass (when the family gets together to eat after the burial) at the church. Then headed to Grandmother's, where there was more food. From there after a few hours, we migrated up to my oldest sister's house. Our cousin Tanisha along with her husband Pete and four children came up for the funeral as well. So they stayed at Grandmother's house Friday night and Audra's house Saturday night. The kids and I stayed over there until about 10P, then got up early Sunday morning and headed back over there to fix and eat breakfast.

After a diaper/pull-up/wipes run to Wal-Mart, we headed down to Grandmother's house for Sunday dinner. Tanisha and the fam were already on their way back to Mississippi. I left Grandmother's at about 430p and tried to make it home before dark (ie, 5P).

Then I did nothing until it was time for me to go to bed and prepare mentally for the workweek.
I'm still working on that last part!

Happy Birthday To Me...

Today's the day! Officially 33 years old! I am very proud of my age, and see absolutely no reason to lie about it. There are some I know that didn't make it this far.

What did I do for my birthday? I got up and continued reading my current book, Girl, Get Your Money Straight by Glinda Bridgforth. This will be the first book I have read start to finish in several months. And in less than a week too!!!

After about half an hour, I got up an began to get ready. I greeted my girlfriend who was dropping her 2 kids off so she can go to work. Then I proceeded to drop six children off at schools and daycares (total of 4 stops), and go to work. Yeah, WORK. The show must go on -- especially if I'm the star!

My two coworkers treated me to lunch at Carlos OKelly's Mexican Restaurant. We only get half an hour, so they paid for mine and I went to pick it up. Lindsay and I ate, while Laverne is currently fasting. I got so full, but it was so good! I had a piece of Alyssa's birthday cake this evening -which is still really moist after four days.

I treated the kids to Sonic when I picked them up this evening. It was definitely a treat because everyone got their own Kid's Meal! That doesn't usually happen for two reasons.
1) My budget can't really afford it.
2) I don't want twenty-gagillion trinket toys in my house!

I came home and printed my Cold Stone Creamery birthday coupon I received by email. Yes, of course I joined their birthday club! Hello? Free Ice Cream?

Then, tomorrow I get to go to work and do it all over again! Woohoo!!!! Meanwhile, the focus shifts from me to Kyla, since her birthday is tomorrow!

Alyssa's Birthday Weekend

So Alyssa turned 8 on Nov 2. But since that was a Thursday, we waited until the weekend to really celebrate. On her actual birthday, they had McDonald's and I gave her gifts to her. Nothing fancy, just some girlie stuff. Lip gloss (Bratz), bangle bracelets and a Tinkerbell purse. The purse is actually for grownups, which is even better. It's girlie, but "hip" at the same time.

Saturday, we did absolutely nothing all day. Laundry for the most part. I washed and dried Kyla's hair. I worked with Chandler on the potty training thing. I must proudly say that he officially has 'Number 2' all figured out! If we just get him tuned in to 'Number 1'...

Sunday was the Build-A-Bear day. We didn't do a party there. My kids will have (semi) big deal parties every other year. Since Kyla's birthday is the 10th, I decided I would just let both of them pick out their bears as a birthday present. It wasn't supposed to be that big of a burden for me since Alyssa's father (aka Can't Get Right, aka The One) was supposed to meet me there and pay for Alyssa's. Low and behold, they are just picking out animals and here he is calling. "I am so sorry. We are in a meeting downtown and I just can't get away. Blah, blah, blah. I am so sorry. Blah, blah, blah. I WILL pay you back." Really, I swear I heard the blah,blah,blah part. He'll hide in a corner for awhile and then he'll surface. He's licking his wounds, thinking I'm mad at him. I know him too well to be mad.

Of course I didn't tell Alyssa he was supposed to be there! What? Is this the first time something like this has happened with my kids? Um, no.

Trust me, all you other solo mommies out there, take note to this trick. NEVER tell your children their father (notice I didn't say dad, those guys are a whole different breed -- sighing wistfully) is going to do ANYTHING. EVER. If it happens or they show up, let it be a wonderful surprise. Otherwise, protect your child from unnecessary heartbreak.

I was one of those kids.

Anyway, Alyssa picked a cool fuzzy pink bear and named her Alison. Kyla picked Hello Kitty and named her Hello Kitty Bear. She's almost 4, what do you expect? We've already worked out nicknames like 'Kitty' and 'KittyBear'.

They each got one outfit and shoes. Both of the animals are wearing skirts with no undies; because I don't pay $3.50 a pair for my own!!!! Maybe next trip we'll make them a respectable "cubbette" and kitten. I bought the boys a little already stuffed dog. A palm-sized Malamute! I couldn't not get them anything! After we left there, I had to go sit down on a bench, since I had become a little lightheaded. Why, you ask?

Trip to Build-A-Bear's Flagship Store at St. Louis Galleria: $102.00
Feeding a Family of Five off the Burger King Dollar Menu: $8.00
Seeing the joy that I brought to my children's faces: PRICELESS

Then, after a cake run to Sam's and some home-cleaning, everyone came over for hot dogs, cake and ice cream! Simple, yes. It's all about family. That's what I've learned.

Sometimes He calms the storm...

You know what the clouds look like far away when a storm is brewing? Just a kind of faint darkness, no thunder, no lightening. But you know it's coming.

That's what my life feels like right now. I know it's coming, and I'm bracing myself for it.

I know that storms aren't all bad though. You know how we like to say rain is just God's way of washing everything clean? Well, sometimes you wash things on gentle cycle...and sometimes you wash them on heavy duty!

That's the way I see a storm. Sometimes, to get things clean, you have to really scrub them. Like, elbow grease, scrub. But after you are done with that steel wool pad on the bottom of that pan, doesn't it look good? Sure, it was difficult when you were scrubbing. The muscles in your arm were starting to fatigue. You may have even broke out in a sweat. You know it needed to be done, you couldn't not do it. It would be much worse to just leave it that way, continually getting worse. Thus making your scrubbing job harder later. Whew, you're done! Doesn't it look good shining like new?! The hard work was worth it! Now, you can hang it on that cool cookware rack over your center island, instead of down in the cabinet where it's been.

Have you noticed how after a really good storm, there are little tree limbs all over the place? That's God's Heavy Duty scrub cycle for His world. Those twigs and leaves and branches needed to come off, they just needed some help. Most likely, they were probably already no good for the tree, or they were about to be no good for it, so they were "pruned" away for the good of the whole tree.

Knowing that has helped me look forward to the storms that will inevitably come. I hope my analogy has helped you too. It will be difficult. There will be days when I'll want to just take cover and come out when it's over. But, if I focus on the end result - that I'll be better when it's over - I'll make it through just fine.

There is a hymn that pretty much sums it up perfectly:

I REALIZE THAT SOMETIMES IN THIS LIFE WE'RE GONNA BE TOSSED BY THE WAVES AND CURRENTS THAT SEEM SO FIERCE, BUT IN THE WORD OF GOD I-I-I'VE GOT AN ANCHOR AND IT KEEPS ME STEADFAST & UNMOVABLE DESPITE THE TIDES. BUT IF THE STORMS DON'T CEASE. And JUST IN CASE THE WIND KEEPS ON BLOWING IN MY LIFE MY SOUL HAS BEEN ANCHORED IN THE LORD

Commit it to memory, for those days when you can "see" the dark clouds in the distance.