Food Day

Oh boy, did I overdo it today!! We had an Italian theme this time, and a couple of ladies made some REALLY good pastas! I didn't have large portions, actually smaller than normal....but I ended up eating seconds later that afternoon! PLUS, I had a piece of chocolate pie...AND...Birthday Cake too!!! I could actually FEEL the difference in my body....all those carbs and sugar....I did not like it one bit!

That makes me feel awesome! I haven't eaten anything since about 3p today...and I still feel full. I cooked dinner for the kids...and the smell of it was almost nauseating!

I can't imagine I will be eating much tomorrow AT ALL. There will surely be a Venti Caramel Macchiatto Nonfat Latte (with 1 Splenda) from Starbucks to start the day though, since I am off work. The way I feel right now...there probably won't be much more after that. I may do a day of Slim-Fast made with soy milk to clear my system out...or I may just do a V8 and fruit juice fast instead.

I am trying to decide what to do with my day tomorrow. I really need to work on my travel flyer design and perhaps get some copies made, especially since I have the paper already. A trip to the DMV to renew my plates wouldn't hurt either. More cleaning and organizing of my living room/office would be awesome! Laundry wouldn't hurt. Some vaccumming is much needed. Boy this list is getting long!

I do plan to do some training for my initial certification, because I want to have that finished as quickly as possible, so I can get on to possibly certifying for an actual client soon.

Still waiting to get the microwave cart out of the car...

GREAT WEEK!!!

Watched The Secret last night, then re-watched the parts that watched me last night this morning! It wasn't boring...I was just sleepy. Will probably watch that every other day, just to make sure I am keeping my focus! One of my favorite quotes ever is from Henry Ford: "Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are usually right." For a long time, I had convinced myself that I couldn't. What a surprise! I was right! Now I am actively working everyday to say I can, and believe I can....then I will!!

I feel so accomplished, which is a feeling I haven't really felt in a long time. My weight is maintained right now...though I have been slacking with my South Beach a little. I am still happily fitting my size 12 jeans and fitting into clothes that I haven't worn in a long time. It's almost like I went shopping and I'm wearing new clothes! But, before I do too much, I am going back to Phase 1... plus fruit though. I would still like to see 175 on the scales. This week was a little crazy and rainy, plus I was doing business stuff on my breaks, so I didn't get to walk outside like I usually do.

I got my business banking account opened yesterday. The banking rep was so nice and helpful. I ordered my administrative services business cards and my car magnets yesterday also. Plus I will get lettering put across the back window giving the phone number and website for the travel business. I need to find out about dba so I can do travel and admin a bit separately and not get into trouble.

I opened my ING direct savings account, and set up auto payments every pay period for that. I bought a new all-in-one printer with wireless capability, so I can replace both of the other printers now. I think I will list some movies on ebay too, since I replaced them with DVDs recently. Never did sell the Tivo or double stroller, but I will try again though this weekend. Bought a microwave cart for the kitchen, but it's still in the car...waiting on my BD to come help me get in the house.

I have also started researching my next vehicle, and so far so good. I was initially interested in the 2008 GMC Yukon XL Hybrid, but according to the dealer they were very limited in production. I will keep abreast of production info for the 2009 models. Otherwise, I found a beautiful 2007 GMC Yukon XL Denali in Silver that would be perfect. I am not really into buying brand-new vehicles anyway just because of the dealer markup on them. So buying one a couple of years old will be perfect. That is my goal for 2009. I even did pricing and financing options. I know how much I want to put down, plus my van (which should be paid off by this time next year) as a trade in...my payments will be very manageable!

On the relationship front, I haven't focused very much on that. Just didn't want that clouding my head right now. Can't Get Right has decided he wants me...again. (yawn) Dante is so very caught up in work right now that we hardly get to really talk anymore, which can sometimes make the distance even harder. No worries though, he still has my heart (whether he knows it or not), so I try to be here for him when he needs me. Hopefully though, there will come a time soon where we can truly decide what we are, and if there is more on the horizon for us. Like I said, with him working so much, it just makes sense for me to focus completely on business. That way I won't go nuts wondering if we're still just a casual fling or if there's more in store.

But for now, it's all about the business baby!

I Got Incorporated!!

Congrats to me!!! This puts me one step closer to my work at home goal! The company that I want to work thru for a guaranteed income requires you to be incorporated. They don't deal with employees nor independent contractors. However, I am also working on my administrative services marketing materials so that I can get clients as soon as possible.

So the goal is to get a client and, once I can sustain a part-time of income of $1200/month for 3 or 4 months, to get ready to go at it full time! My current employer will help me out during the cushion period...they just don't know it yet! Oh yeah, there is a plan in place! I would hope to have a house by then, so I get in under the proven income of my current employer. I just truly believe this is my year to do it!!!

I ordered a copy of the Secret DVD the other day, hopefully it will be here soon. Maybe I will invite Leigh over and we can watch it together. The momentum is building....I can feel it....Can you?

Friday in Review

A little different than the usual Weekend in Review post, eh?

Well, first off the day started with a bang...or shall I say a rumble! Yes, you are correct!! We had an EARTHQUAKE!!!! You know for Disaster Girl here, I was in bliss all day! Nothing fell of the dresser or anything like that in my duplex. But, what I did feel was my bed shaking like a couple of the kids were jumping on it. That's what woke me up! When I realized what it was, I ran to the computer to confirm it. I was so excited!!! I check 2 of the local TV stations' websites and.....nothing. I waited about 5 minutes, then checked again. Nothing. This was at about 430a mind you, and I was off work that day, so I could afford to sleep in a bit.

When I woke again at almost 7a, I went straight for the computer and...there it was!! 5.4 (later revised to 5.2) earthquake shakes southern Illinois!! WOOHOO!!! I ran upstairs to wake the kids like it was Christmas Day!! They thought it was cool too. Don't worry, they know they're mother is a little off!

Honestly, I was already feeling great knowing that I didn't have to work that day. To top it all off, by the end of the day I was going to have a decent sum of money AND see my Punkin!!! Yes, my ex-husband took the deal and we closed the case in Missouri, effective Friday. Before I left Missouri, I had already been to the bank to deposit the cashier's check, less some much needed cash for the weekend...and for my sweetie! Man, that felt SO GOOD being able to give him that money, especially since he really could use it right now. Remember the loan he gave me around my birthday? Well, I insisted on paying him back...and was finally able to! I should have done it out of my tax return, but there were some really pressing issues that needed to be tended to. I felt horribly when he brought it up to me too, so this was a big relief for me.

What else did I do on Friday? I went and got a pedicure. Then, I went shopping for a shirt to wear that evening. THEN....I GOT MY HAIR DONE!!!!!! It really is shocking isn't it? In all the time I have had this blog, that is one thing you have NEVER read here. I got a relaxer and a great little do, but then it rained (of course), so i had to improvise that evening. I then went down to The City to get a new pair of contacts for my niece, who turned 16 on Thursday.

By 430p, I was driving up to my neck of the woods to pick up the kids, and it was really pouring down! But it was still sunshine in my world, because my sweetie was on his way to me! I was very excited to be seeing him in mere hours! Plus, I was excited about the company dinner/dance that night too.

Fast forward a bit. I got the kids all settled with my niece here watching them for the night and headed to the Hampton Inn Westport to check in and get to the special reception they were holding for us. I made it there for just a few minutes of it, but I had to run back out to Target to find shoes for the evening! Seems the pair I was wearing lost the tip off the heel, and the gorgeous pair I brought to wear was missing the tip off one shoe!!! I found some that were $20, so that worked out fine. I arrived back at the hotel, just in time to meet Dante in the lobby! We went to the room and...well, you know what happened next. Then we started getting ready. He looked very handsome in his 3 piece black suit, and me with my very elegant sklacks (like skorts, but longer...and that's MY word) and my fabulous black shirt I bought. I did the whole "smoky eye" thing that's all the rage now with some nice red lips...Gorgeous!!!

We enjoyed the event, and had a great time with our tablemates...which included my manager and his boyfriend. I even took a picture of them...aren't I just progressive? LOL!!

We got back to hotel, I changed clothes, and he had to deal with some USMC stuff, then we headed to a coworkers room for our own afterparty! We finally headed back to our room at 3a, to which we both promptly got undressed and....CRASHED!!! Seriously, we were sleep within minutes! But the morning....

He got on the road about 9a, but not after I made him a little breakfast plate from the hotel. You know me, I love serving my man! He sent me a text at 130p to let me know he was back and on his way to do a funeral but, by that time I was home in bed hungover and sleep! He was home passed out by about 530p! He called to let me know he was on his way to the house...and he was going to bed and would likely talk to me Sunday! To which he sent me a good afternoon text at about 1230p! I took the kids to a Chinese buffet for dinner Saturday night after I was feeling a bit better. When we left there, we stopped and got "Nancy Drew" from Redbox, then it was off to bed when that went off!

This was a great weekend! And with the prospect of a day or two off this week from work...it promises to be a great week too!!!



PS...I got Inc'd today!!!! The StarrDom Corporation is being born!!! Getting closer to my WAH (work at home) goal everyday!!

Sweetest Hangover...

Yep, hungover from lack of sleep and good amounts (though not excessive) of alcohol. I drank Amaretto Sours all night at the dinner dance, then had 3 Smirnoff Ice at the "afterparty" in Tammy's hotel room. So I have been suffering all day today, in the bed, half nauseous with a headache. Blew the diet all to hell for the day today. I had a McDonald's Filet-O-Fish and fries, then later I took the kids to a chinese buffet, though I didn't do as bad there. I had some noodles and potstickers, but everything else was really meat and veggies. Didn't even have any dessert.

I am worn out now, but I have a few things to catch up on from Friday's events. So, stay tuned for another post in a few hours when I wake up!

Okay...I'm Back...Sort Of

The virus/malware is still attacking my poor little laptop profusely. But take heart! I finally swapped hard drives in my desktop. In this quest for a more secure computer, I downloaded Mozilla Firefox internet browser and...it...is....AWESOME!

I now have it on my desktop, and I have been telling others about it as well. One of thinsg is that it is supposed to be way more secure than IE. So far so good.

I am off this coming Friday from work, and I have a couple of important pieces of business to take care of that day. I think I will also get my hair done that day as well. Yep, that's right, me in the beautician's chair! I want it relaxed, trimmed, and with a TON of body like ole girl from Why Did I Get Married?.

My company's annual dinner dance is that night, and I just got confirmed from Dante that he will be able to make it to the party!!! Now, I just have to ask my mom if she will come up and watch the kids for me until Saturday morning when we check out of the hotel.

Hotel? Yep, that's right. They have special rates and a block of rooms, so several of us are staying there. One bonus is they have a shuttle that will go all night from the hotel to the venue, so we can park at the hotel and take the shuttle to and fro. That's also great since they have an open bar too!!! No drinking and driving here!!!

Pay close attention to the following equation:

Alcohol + 2 Scorpios + a hotel room + sex = GREAT NIGHT!!!!

Any questions???


Somewhere in that night when we get back to the room, I would like to talk to him about "us". I seriously don't want to put pressure where there doesn't need to be, that is not my intention. Especially not now with so much going on with him on the workfront. But, I am wondering if we are the most we'll ever be, or if there will be more as time goes on. See, one of the things is that there hasn't been very much interaction with the children, it's usually just he and I. So, I can't really gauge his level of involvement or realization that this is actually a package deal and not just me, should he decide he wants to go further. Now, if he decides that we really are just what we are right now, then that's cool too. At least I will know what to do with these feelings just under the surface for him that I am consistently denying. Easier to cool the love now than later, when I'm in too deep to recover easily.

Safety first! :)

Viruses Suck!!!

Yep, now I've a virus wormed into my Internet Explorer...and I can't get the little bugger out!!! The Commander - who is a computer whiz - is currently MIA so I can't ask him. I think I am going to have to call the computer guy I know locally and have him worm it out. I've done all I can...and it has taken me the whole weekend to do that!

I wanted to install the new hard drive on the desktop but, much to my surprise, I have no idea how to open the Dell case!!!! My laptop is acting so RETARDED that I haven't really been able to get on there and check into it.

So I downloaded Mozilla Firefox as a web browser since it's supposed to be so secure.But, since it just tried to popup the same spyware cleaner crap it's been doing with Explorer, it's apparently more imbedded than I thought. This is gonna take expert and professional help.

Cause you know, I don't have enough things to do with my money at this point!!!

bonus for this weekend: I managed to completely redo my StarrDom Administrative Services website before the bottom fell out!!! Go Me!!!

SO Glad it is Friday!!

After this week...living for the weekend has never been more true!! This week was by far the hardest I have worked since I've been at CWT!! People think that working a desk job is not tiring or exhausting. To all you manual laborers out there: You don't know tired til you are mentally exhausted!!

It's 10p and I can barely keep my eyes open! I am gonna talk to my momma and hit the sack! My sweetie is in the bed already with a splitting headache, poor baby. I wish I could be there to just rub his head until he fell asleep next to me...

Okay, okay...back to reality. He hasn't had the best week either, and unfortunately, today just brought it all to a head. Sometimes, people would do so much better if they just kept their mouth shut! I mean, I know how hard and long he's been working...just trying to get caught up (from a mess he inherited, mind you). So for the supervisor to say what he did? It pissed me the hell off, so I can imagine what he really feels like!!

I made it to Wal-Mart to get vacuum cleaner exchanged today. After heavy research, I decided on a vacuum cleaner, went to 2 different stores, only to get it home and discover it was missing the cannister!! Not very helpful for the vacuum to suck the crap up from the floor, only to spray it on everythig else because there is no canister to collect it in!! So, I picked up the kids and we went in and out of Wal-Mart, didn't even get a pack of gum!! I will likely be back there tomorrow with my list, but I knew what I needed for right this second.

The kids are doing great. We watched a movie from Redbox this evening called The Seeker. It was a neat little sci-fi fantasy type movie. They all enjoyed it. Isis and Eclipse were in here the whole time as well, so it was a whole family affair! I made a vet appointment for them finally to get their shots. It's the first week in May, so I have a little time to prepare, though the cost isn't too terrible, especially since it's only once a year.

Ok, I am fading surely. I typed as fast as I could to get the day's highlights out, but I can't hold on any longer! Let The Weekend Officially Begin!!




p.s. I ate a cinnamon roll from Krispy Kreme today, but threw away a third of it. I just didn't really want it that bad! Go Me!!!

Feeling Like A Rock Star!!

That completely describes my mood today!! I felt on top of the world!!

Why? The weight is leaving man...it's really leaving!

It started yesterday when I decided to try on a denim skirt that I haven't worn in almost 2 years! I looked so ridiculous in it, I just had to stop trying to wear it! But for whatever reason - even though the scale said 183 on my Official Weigh-In Day - I decided to try it on. And you know what? IT FIT!!

So, I tried on the other denim skirt and, it fit too!! Then...for my final trick of the morning (when I should have been getting dressed for work) I decided to try on a pair of the 'pretty jeans', as I call them. Why do I call them that? Well, they are nicer denim jeans, not for wearing tennis shoes with AT ALL. They are a Tall size, so they have a 34" inseam, which is perfect for my long legs plus my 3-plus-inch-heels. Best of all...they were only 9.99 at Newport News!!! I have not worn any of the 3 pair of size 12 jeans for about 2 years now. Last time I tried them on, I barely got them over my hips and ass...let alone anything near zipped! This time, they slid right up and fastened right up, with no holding of the breath required! I actually could still breathe while I was wearing them!

I was so stoked about that yesterday, and the fact that I was wearing the skirt I couldn't fit previously...that I decided to go for a repeat today. That's right ladies and gentleman, I wore a size 12 pair of jeans to work today!! Now that is what I call progress!! It definitelt nmotivated me to keep going!

To be continued...

Is there a Full Moon Coming??

I am feeling really melancholy this evening. Usually that means a full moon is near.

Or it could just be that "time of the month". Same financial stresses as usual are still there, though I am working on a few ways of relief, which should come in the next month at most. I am trying to stay productive, by working on my website. I decided to finally take on the task of building a new website for StarrDom by using Yahoo Sitebuilder. My site right now is a snoozer, but at least I am ahead of 50% of the rest of entrepreneurs that haven't even put theirs up yet! Since I am getting ready to market it heavily, I want it to truly be my online brochure!

I am still working towards my goal of fall 2008! Time to live my life for real! I am ready to be happy and not just exist!

Was talking to the bff this evening about this new phase of my life in relationships. There is still this woman inside of me that is in a rush to get into a full on relationship and start taking active steps toward marriage. Yes, that is really who I was. But then there is this other side that is truly enjoying the no pressure and let the chips fall where they should approach.

This is one of those times that the first woman is winning. I don't know if Dante and I are heading anywhere, or if we just are...and I don't even know how to bring it up to him. What do I mean "don't know how"? Well, I don't want to put pressure where there doesn't need to be any. I enjoy what we have and I don't want to be the cause of us falling apart because I asked for too much too soon. BUT, I also don't want to look up and a couple of years have gone by, and things are no different than they are now. That's the part that's hard to adjust to. Could this lead somewhere, or is this just an interim relationship for both of us?? Does he feel about me like I feel about him...at all? Yes, I am starting to fall in love with him, but I'm scared to fall too much because I don't want it to just be me in that place by myself!

No really, that doesn't make a wuss. I just am not in the mood for a heartbreak anytime soon. I have finally been able to put the relationship with me and the New Guy behind me. I was a little more heartbroken than I thought, apparently. I don't want that to happen again. I don't want to be totally in love with him, and then he tells me one day (as we agreed he would if it happened) that he is interested in seeing some woman he met in Memphis on a more exclusive basis, ie excluding me. Maybe he is seeing someone else, but because he knows I'm falling for him, doesn't want to say anything just yet, knowing it would hurt me. While I on the other hand am turning guys away here, because I can't think of being with anyone but my sweetie! Wouldn't I just be the fool there!!

What??? I said I was in a weird mood, didn't I?? I will try to be normal tomorrow, whatever that is!

It's Going

So the scale was a little better later in the week. I saw 183, which was encouraging. I talked to my sister about it and realized I hadn't been drinking as much water as usual, which plays a majore role in everything. So, I increased my water intake again to normal. I also made sure I didn't overdo it on the snacking. During the entire process, I have cheated twice. One was the day I had the carrot cake for Leigh's birthday, and two was yesterday when I ate a potato chip.

No, I'm serious. I ate one chip. That's all I needed, and the crave was gone...and it wasn't even a Red Hot Riplet!! Other than that, I have been sticking to my sugar free jello and my ricotta creme as desserts. I have some sugar-free fat-free fudgesicles, but I haven't eaten one yet, though Leigh said they are pretty good. I bought those to dip in Cool Whip Free, my own little frozen treat! I can't really do much more celery...not having good luck beating the stringy thing...even when I peel it! So, honestly, I think I have about one more week on Phase 1...and I am going to seriously need to see some fruit!

So I will weigh in this coming Monday or Tuesday morning, then again the following Monday morning, and that will be my official start into Phase 2. By that second weigh-in, I am truly believing to be 175. That is my first mini-goal on the way to my main goal. I can do it...South Beach can help!

A Little Discouraged

I was really excited last week when I saw 185 on the scale, and so of course I expected to be in the low 180s this week.

Um, no.

Apparently somewhere I have overdone it. So I suppose I am going to have to lay off for a while until I figure out where. Yes, I know I had that carrot cake, but really, is it that easy to blow your weight gain?? Granted, I didn't take my BP med yesterday, so part of this is water retention weight (my feet actually looked swollen to me this morning), Geez, if it would have still said 185, I may have been okay. But this sucker went to 187!! Talk about discouragement! And the last dream I had before I woke up was about me rushing around at work on my 30minuted lunch and getting White Castle burgers and onion rings!! I was even disappointed in my dream!!! I just thought this was the phase where you drop the most significant weight. Sorry but, 5 pounds in 2 weeks is not significant to me!

On that note, I am going back to take a nap before the my alarm goes off.