I am very excited about this new title! From someone who always had pets around growing up, and who truly LOVEs animals to this day...this is big news! This is a big commitment, but I am so up for it!
I drove out to St. Charles/St. Peters tonight to see "the girls". You know, the 2 cats I told you about the other day? Well, I was totally awed by them when I got there! There are so beautiful and they truly are sweet. The family was very nice and helpful in giving glimpses into their personalities, which are distinctly different from each other. The kids were definitely taken to them as well. Bruzer was really stalking Eclipse, she was the darker and smaller of the two. She was the runt of the litter, which we are partial to in my family! Isis was a bit more aloof (like Cheyenne) so it took her awhile to warm up. She also has another quality that helped her earn her name, her very royal air about her! By the end of the visit, she and Champagne had paired up quite nicely. Kindred spirits and all that.
I told them I would pick them up on Saturday morning. I didn't want to pick them up this evening, knowing we would get home in enough time to head to bed, then up and leave them home alone all the next day. Plus, I wanted the family to be able to say goodbye. After all, they have had them since they were kittens, 7 years ago. So that's only right.
Now, the neighborhood and the house they live in? Wow! That's what I am talking about! Theirs wasn't the most spacious on the block, but it was nice, and you could tell it had a lot of yard too! Gives me something to aspire to, that's for sure!
I am headed to bed early tonight. I am in the living room and the noise from this Smithsonian Rock Tumbler that DJ wanted (and got) for Christmas is driving me batty! This is the 2nd cycle. The first cycle was 2 days...and I didn't think I would survive. Imagine my shock and horror when I was told (and subsuquently verified myself) that the 2nd cycle would take 10-14 days!!!!! If there's anyone who thinks I am a little too self-centered to be a mom....here's your proof that it's really all about them! I don't know many who would let this go in their house for too long! But I know he is excited about it, and he is surely keeping up with it and cleaning up after himself too! That's enough to make me help when needed, and not fuss when the noise is making my ears bleed! It's not a real bad noise, just loud enough to be annoying!
I can't wait to get the girls here and settled! I will probably be a Petco a lot the rest of this week getting ready for their arrival! Gotta get kitty litter, their food, and kitty pan liners. Plus I need a really good brush for them to get that fur under control. I will most definitely post pictures once we're settled! That's right, I do have a digital camera again!
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February 26, 2008
February 25, 2008
Go Mama, It's Your Birthday!
Happy 58th Birthday Mama!!!!!!!
We are not the type of people that are ashamed or lie about how old we are! Every year is an accomplishment! Remember that!
We are not the type of people that are ashamed or lie about how old we are! Every year is an accomplishment! Remember that!
February 24, 2008
And Then It Snowed!
Did I not just say yesterday that I was done with winter? So why oh why did I wake up to snow this morning??!! Yes! Snow! Maybe 2 inches fell overnight! By midday though, the temperature had risen enough that most of it melted. Thank goodness! Unfortunately, the devil's plan worked and I didn't go to church as I had planned yesterday. BUT, I watched both Joyce Meyer and Pastor David Crank this morning....and those messages were definitely two I needed to hear!
Joyce spoke about the power of words. It's like step two of what I have been getting accomplished this year. Step one was controlling and changing my thoughts. I must say, I have been doing very good at that one. I am not as negative or depressed, and I make a very conscious effort to be that way. I feel better for it too. So step two is the words I speak. That's what I learned today from Joyce. Pastor Crank was talking about actively seeking God. I don't do enough of that, and haven't for a while. I don't talk to God like I should, cause prayer just intimidates me completely. I am a work in progress however, and I have the desire to be better. That desire will make it happen.
I talked to the guy today that currently owns the 2 kitties I want. I also double-checked with my landlord and he said cats were fine. The kids and I are going Tuesday to go look at them. I can't imagine being more smitten with them in person than I was the first time I saw their picture. I am very excited. I will probably tell the kids tomorrow evening what's happening on Tuesday. I have really been thinking about this, it's not something I take lightly. This is literally a 'til death do us part' kind of thing for me. It's weird to think that I am 34, and these will be my first pets as an adult. Someone as much of an animal lover as I am! But, perhaps this is part of my newfound mindset too. I wasn't really mentally at a place to commit to anything else before.
Changing my thought patterns has been one of the smartest things I have done lately!! I sincerely believe this will truly help me get my skyscraper built!
Joyce spoke about the power of words. It's like step two of what I have been getting accomplished this year. Step one was controlling and changing my thoughts. I must say, I have been doing very good at that one. I am not as negative or depressed, and I make a very conscious effort to be that way. I feel better for it too. So step two is the words I speak. That's what I learned today from Joyce. Pastor Crank was talking about actively seeking God. I don't do enough of that, and haven't for a while. I don't talk to God like I should, cause prayer just intimidates me completely. I am a work in progress however, and I have the desire to be better. That desire will make it happen.
I talked to the guy today that currently owns the 2 kitties I want. I also double-checked with my landlord and he said cats were fine. The kids and I are going Tuesday to go look at them. I can't imagine being more smitten with them in person than I was the first time I saw their picture. I am very excited. I will probably tell the kids tomorrow evening what's happening on Tuesday. I have really been thinking about this, it's not something I take lightly. This is literally a 'til death do us part' kind of thing for me. It's weird to think that I am 34, and these will be my first pets as an adult. Someone as much of an animal lover as I am! But, perhaps this is part of my newfound mindset too. I wasn't really mentally at a place to commit to anything else before.
Changing my thought patterns has been one of the smartest things I have done lately!! I sincerely believe this will truly help me get my skyscraper built!
February 23, 2008
I Am SO OVER Winter!!
School was cancelled for my older 2 children on Thursday, with the WonderTwins' daycare closing at 3p. Then, on Friday everyone's school was cancelled! Good thing Leigh is a teacher!
You know I don't have the kind of job that allows me to take of for something like that. Though one person did call in on Friday because their childrens' daycare was closed...and mind you this was not a single parent!
So why were all the schools closed you ask? More of that glorious midwest weather, of course! On Thursday, it basically iced and sleeted all day. Before the morning commute, during the workday, and on the way home too! Then again overnight! Then that same storm started moving east so, by Friday, work was a nightmare due to all the flight cancellations in the major East Coast airports (ie, New York and Boston). We made it though!
This week was really rather quiet I would say. Nothing major on any fronts to report. I am seriously considering getting a pair of cats. They are sisters (I am partial to siblings, ie Cheyenne and Cherokee). They are medium-haired, tortoise-colored girls with some of the cutest kitty faces! Yes, I really do see facial features! Because they are so big and jet black, most people have trouble telling Cheyenne and Cherokee apart. (In case I never said it, Cheyenne and Cherokee are brother and sister kitties that my mom and I picked out as kittens back when we lived in Springfield (circa 1993). They are still alive and well living with mom. They are so gorgeous, and they usually scare the crap out of people because they are SO big...not fat, BIG!) I have been looking at many pictures of cats recently, and when I saw these girls my heart melted! It is a big commitment though. But I will check with my landlords tomorrow to see if they mind. They had both a cat and a dog when they lived here, but we'll see how that goes. It is a big, lifelong commitment, and I just want to make sure I am up for it since I will be doing all the work. I just always wanted my kids to grow up with pets like I did.
Speaking of, kids are doing good. Starr has been very diligently presenting her homework daily now. Her teacher - in dire frustration - let me know she would start reducing Starr's academic grades due to her constantly turning in late homework (if at all). I threatened her at the beginning of the year after the parent-teacher conference that if she brought home any Bs due to not turning in homework, she would literally have hell to pay for it! But, slacker mom hasn't been enforcing it. I've been trying to lighten up on them, since I am usually so harsh. Yeah well, back to Plan A. I notified Starr that the threat was a promise, and it was being strictly enforced - zero tolerance. I advised her everytime she doesn't turn in homework, she'll be writing lines (minimum 100), PLUS no toys, TV, or playtime.
Like I said...She's been doing great with homework thusfar!
I have also had to become more of my 'Mean Mommy' alter-ego to get Bruzer back in line. It's a work in progress, but trust me...I will prevail! As I told all four of them, I have been yelling and screaming and fussing and carrying on for far too long now. All I have gotten out of it is hoarse so many times that my vocal chords ain't what they used to be! Yet, I still sound like a broken record, because I am saying the same things over and over again. No Mas, mi bambinos! The new rule is I will say it once, then the belt will continue the conversation...Period.
Oh yes! In case you ever doubted, I firmly believe in kicking my child's butt when necessary! Parenthood is NOT for punks! It's a simple equation: You run them...or they run you! Look around the grocery store or Wal-Mart or Target, you'll see what I mean. Next time you go out to eat, check out the kids in the restaurant. You can pretty much always tell who believes in corporal punishment and who wants to reason with a two-year-old!! When you see an 8 or 9 year old kid throwing a tantrum in a public place, you can bet your candy ass (The Rock!) there's a "Time Out" or "Wait Til Your Father Gets Home" parent nearby! Screw the "experts" and the parenting books that try to get you to be your child's "friend"! Bull!!! Teach them consequences at an early age, make the punishment fit the crime, and (most importantly) make sure they are scared as all get-out of YOU!!! Give them the fear of God, and the fear of you too!
You doubt my wisdom?? There were MANY things I could have done but didn't do growing up for one simple reason: I was afraid of what my mother would do if she found out! Pretty much everyone I talk to in my age group or older can say the same thing. And if I may speak for the masses of us GENERALLY of course...We didn't turn out so bad did we?
You know I don't have the kind of job that allows me to take of for something like that. Though one person did call in on Friday because their childrens' daycare was closed...and mind you this was not a single parent!
So why were all the schools closed you ask? More of that glorious midwest weather, of course! On Thursday, it basically iced and sleeted all day. Before the morning commute, during the workday, and on the way home too! Then again overnight! Then that same storm started moving east so, by Friday, work was a nightmare due to all the flight cancellations in the major East Coast airports (ie, New York and Boston). We made it though!
This week was really rather quiet I would say. Nothing major on any fronts to report. I am seriously considering getting a pair of cats. They are sisters (I am partial to siblings, ie Cheyenne and Cherokee). They are medium-haired, tortoise-colored girls with some of the cutest kitty faces! Yes, I really do see facial features! Because they are so big and jet black, most people have trouble telling Cheyenne and Cherokee apart. (In case I never said it, Cheyenne and Cherokee are brother and sister kitties that my mom and I picked out as kittens back when we lived in Springfield (circa 1993). They are still alive and well living with mom. They are so gorgeous, and they usually scare the crap out of people because they are SO big...not fat, BIG!) I have been looking at many pictures of cats recently, and when I saw these girls my heart melted! It is a big commitment though. But I will check with my landlords tomorrow to see if they mind. They had both a cat and a dog when they lived here, but we'll see how that goes. It is a big, lifelong commitment, and I just want to make sure I am up for it since I will be doing all the work. I just always wanted my kids to grow up with pets like I did.
Speaking of, kids are doing good. Starr has been very diligently presenting her homework daily now. Her teacher - in dire frustration - let me know she would start reducing Starr's academic grades due to her constantly turning in late homework (if at all). I threatened her at the beginning of the year after the parent-teacher conference that if she brought home any Bs due to not turning in homework, she would literally have hell to pay for it! But, slacker mom hasn't been enforcing it. I've been trying to lighten up on them, since I am usually so harsh. Yeah well, back to Plan A. I notified Starr that the threat was a promise, and it was being strictly enforced - zero tolerance. I advised her everytime she doesn't turn in homework, she'll be writing lines (minimum 100), PLUS no toys, TV, or playtime.
Like I said...She's been doing great with homework thusfar!
I have also had to become more of my 'Mean Mommy' alter-ego to get Bruzer back in line. It's a work in progress, but trust me...I will prevail! As I told all four of them, I have been yelling and screaming and fussing and carrying on for far too long now. All I have gotten out of it is hoarse so many times that my vocal chords ain't what they used to be! Yet, I still sound like a broken record, because I am saying the same things over and over again. No Mas, mi bambinos! The new rule is I will say it once, then the belt will continue the conversation...Period.
Oh yes! In case you ever doubted, I firmly believe in kicking my child's butt when necessary! Parenthood is NOT for punks! It's a simple equation: You run them...or they run you! Look around the grocery store or Wal-Mart or Target, you'll see what I mean. Next time you go out to eat, check out the kids in the restaurant. You can pretty much always tell who believes in corporal punishment and who wants to reason with a two-year-old!! When you see an 8 or 9 year old kid throwing a tantrum in a public place, you can bet your candy ass (The Rock!) there's a "Time Out" or "Wait Til Your Father Gets Home" parent nearby! Screw the "experts" and the parenting books that try to get you to be your child's "friend"! Bull!!! Teach them consequences at an early age, make the punishment fit the crime, and (most importantly) make sure they are scared as all get-out of YOU!!! Give them the fear of God, and the fear of you too!
You doubt my wisdom?? There were MANY things I could have done but didn't do growing up for one simple reason: I was afraid of what my mother would do if she found out! Pretty much everyone I talk to in my age group or older can say the same thing. And if I may speak for the masses of us GENERALLY of course...We didn't turn out so bad did we?
February 19, 2008
The Weekend in Review
I'm sleepy, so we'll try to keep this short.
I didn't get to see much of Dante the first part of the weekend. He came over for a little while on Saturday afternoon. I had my babysitter on standby, cause I thought we were gonna do dinner and a movie. But that didn't pan out this trip. He ended up spending the vast majority of the time with his family, which was great. I mean yeah, there was a little piece of me that was trying to be a brat. But the popular opinion squashed that like a bug!!! I mean heck, I just saw him like 2 weeks ago, and it's been since Christmas when they saw him! And from what he tells me, they had really great family time. I mean classic, memory-making kind of family time! That is just so great to hear. It sounds like he's got a great family, not anymore perfect or flawed than the rest of ours, definitely "good people".
So, to be incredibly polite yet tell the story, I have to say that time of the month rolled around. We had an incredibly awkward and embarrassing event during his visit on Saturday that confirmed it had occurred. (yes, that) I knew he was planning to leave on Sunday, but after it got toward the evening, I knew he wasn't leaving that night. I was off on Monday, so I knew he would come by before he left...like he always does. If he comes home, and I don't see him that whole visit, I can count on seeing him as he's headed out of town! Good enough for me! Anyway, because of my cycle, I just assumed there was no way I'd see him that evening. My bff even said "Maybe he'll come over and spend the night tonight." To which I huffed and replied "yeah right, and I'm on! I don't see that happening!"
Oh me of little faith! We sent each other text messages a few times that evening. Then later he asked me was I sleep. My reply, priceless as usual. "No, R U?" So he told me he was on his way cause he needed to hold me next to him! Major points for that one! I told you, I'm a simple girl. We stayed up for a while, and he played with his new toy he got for Valentine's Day. What's that you ask? (Get your mind out of the gutter!) His Garmin C330 of course! I gave it to him on Saturday. He was very shocked and pleased, cause it was not only something he wanted but something he needed. (We had a monetary discussion the other day about the event from November, since I insisted on returning that. This does not count towards what I owe him, it's just stuff I want to do for him. Everything is at a balance point now, so I should be able to start repaying very very soon) He is one of very few in a long time that I just wanted to do things and spoil just because I feel he deserves it, and because I truly want to see him happy.
So, after he got it loaded up on his laptop, he hit the shower and we headed for bed. I was wrapped around him all night! I was very happy he was there. I missed being close to him for one. And for two, he really did make good on his word that it's not just physical! He could have just come over for a while on Monday and hung out before he hit the road. But what he did shows that he cares more than just about a good lay, we have at least a little something more.
That "little something more" is working just fine for me!
I didn't get to see much of Dante the first part of the weekend. He came over for a little while on Saturday afternoon. I had my babysitter on standby, cause I thought we were gonna do dinner and a movie. But that didn't pan out this trip. He ended up spending the vast majority of the time with his family, which was great. I mean yeah, there was a little piece of me that was trying to be a brat. But the popular opinion squashed that like a bug!!! I mean heck, I just saw him like 2 weeks ago, and it's been since Christmas when they saw him! And from what he tells me, they had really great family time. I mean classic, memory-making kind of family time! That is just so great to hear. It sounds like he's got a great family, not anymore perfect or flawed than the rest of ours, definitely "good people".
So, to be incredibly polite yet tell the story, I have to say that time of the month rolled around. We had an incredibly awkward and embarrassing event during his visit on Saturday that confirmed it had occurred. (yes, that) I knew he was planning to leave on Sunday, but after it got toward the evening, I knew he wasn't leaving that night. I was off on Monday, so I knew he would come by before he left...like he always does. If he comes home, and I don't see him that whole visit, I can count on seeing him as he's headed out of town! Good enough for me! Anyway, because of my cycle, I just assumed there was no way I'd see him that evening. My bff even said "Maybe he'll come over and spend the night tonight." To which I huffed and replied "yeah right, and I'm on! I don't see that happening!"
Oh me of little faith! We sent each other text messages a few times that evening. Then later he asked me was I sleep. My reply, priceless as usual. "No, R U?" So he told me he was on his way cause he needed to hold me next to him! Major points for that one! I told you, I'm a simple girl. We stayed up for a while, and he played with his new toy he got for Valentine's Day. What's that you ask? (Get your mind out of the gutter!) His Garmin C330 of course! I gave it to him on Saturday. He was very shocked and pleased, cause it was not only something he wanted but something he needed. (We had a monetary discussion the other day about the event from November, since I insisted on returning that. This does not count towards what I owe him, it's just stuff I want to do for him. Everything is at a balance point now, so I should be able to start repaying very very soon) He is one of very few in a long time that I just wanted to do things and spoil just because I feel he deserves it, and because I truly want to see him happy.
So, after he got it loaded up on his laptop, he hit the shower and we headed for bed. I was wrapped around him all night! I was very happy he was there. I missed being close to him for one. And for two, he really did make good on his word that it's not just physical! He could have just come over for a while on Monday and hung out before he hit the road. But what he did shows that he cares more than just about a good lay, we have at least a little something more.
That "little something more" is working just fine for me!
February 16, 2008
My Valentine Surprise!
Today was a welcome surprise! I knew Dante was on the road today, driving back from NC to Memphis. So we talked a few times back and forth. The boys kept him out all last night, since he wouldn't be back that way for a long time - or ever. So, he wasn't feeling too great that morning.
Thank goodness he wasn't in a rush, so he took something for his headache (read:hangover), and kind of relaxed for a bit before hitting the road.
He sends me a text message later that said: "I got tickets. You get the movie, cool?"
All I saw was the I got tickets, and assumed he got a speeding ticket. I mean, he was driving!
Well, what he was actually trying to say was he was coming home instead of going to Memphis! I was so excited, I got all hot and flustered. I actually broke out into a sweat! I had to go outside into the 30 degree weather the cool off!! So we planned to go to Lotta Watta Creek. He said he has heard about it but never tried it. So that was that. He told me he was going to just surprise me and show up in town, but he knew I needed a little advance notice for babysitting purposes. Very considerate, I know, isn't he???
So, I tried working some more and it was just about time to leave. He sent me a message asking if I was still working. I told him I was but I was off the phones for the day doing followup work, and he could call if he wanted to. To which he replied: "Gimme 10 minutes."
A few minutes later, a lady from across the hall comes in asking for me. I look up to see am exquisite bud vase with a 3-rose arrangement in it! She said a man asked her to give them to me outside. At first I thought it may have been him, but the timeline wasn't matching. It was a really nice card that said, 'I always like to surprise you with something on your special day.' Remember the card he dropped off at my job, even though he had just seen me 5 minutes before at the show??
He called and could just hear the ear-to-ear grin in my voice! I was grinning and blushing and just all warm and fuzzy inside! What a sweet thing to do. And he was well-pleased at my reaction, too! At one point he told me to "stop cheesing" to which I replied "I will not under any circumstances!" Then I heard the grin in his voice!
Since I am off work on Monday, I took them home with me. I even cleaned off my kitchen table to proudly display what my sweetie did!! No, it wasn't a dozen, but I am truly a "it's the thought that counts" girl. He didn't have to do anything! He hasn't had the best week, and he was hundreds upon hundreds of miles away. He could have just said Happy Valentine's Day and that was that. It's the "above and beyond" that I appreciate. I am truly grateful, and my V-Day was AWESOME!!
Thank goodness he wasn't in a rush, so he took something for his headache (read:hangover), and kind of relaxed for a bit before hitting the road.
He sends me a text message later that said: "I got tickets. You get the movie, cool?"
All I saw was the I got tickets, and assumed he got a speeding ticket. I mean, he was driving!
Well, what he was actually trying to say was he was coming home instead of going to Memphis! I was so excited, I got all hot and flustered. I actually broke out into a sweat! I had to go outside into the 30 degree weather the cool off!! So we planned to go to Lotta Watta Creek. He said he has heard about it but never tried it. So that was that. He told me he was going to just surprise me and show up in town, but he knew I needed a little advance notice for babysitting purposes. Very considerate, I know, isn't he???
So, I tried working some more and it was just about time to leave. He sent me a message asking if I was still working. I told him I was but I was off the phones for the day doing followup work, and he could call if he wanted to. To which he replied: "Gimme 10 minutes."
A few minutes later, a lady from across the hall comes in asking for me. I look up to see am exquisite bud vase with a 3-rose arrangement in it! She said a man asked her to give them to me outside. At first I thought it may have been him, but the timeline wasn't matching. It was a really nice card that said, 'I always like to surprise you with something on your special day.' Remember the card he dropped off at my job, even though he had just seen me 5 minutes before at the show??
He called and could just hear the ear-to-ear grin in my voice! I was grinning and blushing and just all warm and fuzzy inside! What a sweet thing to do. And he was well-pleased at my reaction, too! At one point he told me to "stop cheesing" to which I replied "I will not under any circumstances!" Then I heard the grin in his voice!
Since I am off work on Monday, I took them home with me. I even cleaned off my kitchen table to proudly display what my sweetie did!! No, it wasn't a dozen, but I am truly a "it's the thought that counts" girl. He didn't have to do anything! He hasn't had the best week, and he was hundreds upon hundreds of miles away. He could have just said Happy Valentine's Day and that was that. It's the "above and beyond" that I appreciate. I am truly grateful, and my V-Day was AWESOME!!
February 14, 2008
Happy Valentine's Day
The good news: I actually have a valentine this year.
The bad news: He's in North Carolina! (Hey, he lives in Memphis. So it's not like I would have seen him anyway!)
We did talk to each other a few times today, and I sent him an e-card this evening. He should be headed back to Memphis tomorrow though.
Not much else to report, it's a day, you know?
This kids brought home loads of candy and crap. I just see all those pieces of paper that I have to contend with. Yeah, yeah...valentines. Whatever! It will be gone by the weekend. This place looks like it was hit by an F3 tornado, I'm trying to take away stuff not add to it!
That is my plan for the weekend. I want to get more boxes cleared away. It's sad to admit, I still have boxes untouched from when I moved here late June! I am trying to get back to the point where I keep a better house like I used to. But it's hard sometimes when it's just you and you have the weight of your world on your shoulders. I won't give up though, because I have the worst case scenario example in my mother's house and it ain't pretty! I pray she gets out of it...and I REFUSE to allow myself to get that bad!
The bad news: He's in North Carolina! (Hey, he lives in Memphis. So it's not like I would have seen him anyway!)
We did talk to each other a few times today, and I sent him an e-card this evening. He should be headed back to Memphis tomorrow though.
Not much else to report, it's a day, you know?
This kids brought home loads of candy and crap. I just see all those pieces of paper that I have to contend with. Yeah, yeah...valentines. Whatever! It will be gone by the weekend. This place looks like it was hit by an F3 tornado, I'm trying to take away stuff not add to it!
That is my plan for the weekend. I want to get more boxes cleared away. It's sad to admit, I still have boxes untouched from when I moved here late June! I am trying to get back to the point where I keep a better house like I used to. But it's hard sometimes when it's just you and you have the weight of your world on your shoulders. I won't give up though, because I have the worst case scenario example in my mother's house and it ain't pretty! I pray she gets out of it...and I REFUSE to allow myself to get that bad!
February 13, 2008
Valentine's Eve
I am sad cause I miss my sweetie, but I actually enjoyed helping my kids with their school valentines! Who knew??
My sister (the Officer) went to the dollar store and got candy for the kids to take to school. I was gonna be a total slacker mom, yes I was. But at least they had their valentine cards!!
So, DJ and Starr worked on theirs while I cooked Hamburger Helper for dinner, and did some laundry, and prepared the bulk meat packages for the freezer. After dinner, Bruzer and I worked on his. I did the writing, and he was the "sticker guy". Then Champagne and I did hers. She wrote he name all by herself, and did a pretty good job! I told her I was very proud of her.
I was convicted today by some things Joyce Meyer said in a podcast I downloaded to my Walkman mp3 player. She said when her kids were growing up, she was always nagging about something, it was never quite right. If something was out of place, she had to say something about it. And to this day, she wishes she knew then what she knows now, because she would have merely enjoyed them growing up more....and nagged less! That is me. I don't nitpick and fuss about every little thing, but I really do enough of it to make it seem like it! So, as GI Joe (the cartoon) says: "Knowing is half the battle!"
Other than that, it has been an uneventful evening. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and my sweetie is on the other side of the country, in another time zone, hundreds of miles away. He is also going through some turmoil of the heart right now, of which I totally understand, and it just makes me want to be with him even more. We are friends first, and right now he needs one that totally gets what he's going through. But, I have confidence in him, he will be okay. He just needs to "balance out" (remember, I explained that before).
Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers, the friends, and the hopeless/hopefull romantics in cyberland!
My sister (the Officer) went to the dollar store and got candy for the kids to take to school. I was gonna be a total slacker mom, yes I was. But at least they had their valentine cards!!
So, DJ and Starr worked on theirs while I cooked Hamburger Helper for dinner, and did some laundry, and prepared the bulk meat packages for the freezer. After dinner, Bruzer and I worked on his. I did the writing, and he was the "sticker guy". Then Champagne and I did hers. She wrote he name all by herself, and did a pretty good job! I told her I was very proud of her.
I was convicted today by some things Joyce Meyer said in a podcast I downloaded to my Walkman mp3 player. She said when her kids were growing up, she was always nagging about something, it was never quite right. If something was out of place, she had to say something about it. And to this day, she wishes she knew then what she knows now, because she would have merely enjoyed them growing up more....and nagged less! That is me. I don't nitpick and fuss about every little thing, but I really do enough of it to make it seem like it! So, as GI Joe (the cartoon) says: "Knowing is half the battle!"
Other than that, it has been an uneventful evening. Tomorrow is Valentine's Day, and my sweetie is on the other side of the country, in another time zone, hundreds of miles away. He is also going through some turmoil of the heart right now, of which I totally understand, and it just makes me want to be with him even more. We are friends first, and right now he needs one that totally gets what he's going through. But, I have confidence in him, he will be okay. He just needs to "balance out" (remember, I explained that before).
Happy Valentine's Day to all the lovers, the friends, and the hopeless/hopefull romantics in cyberland!
February 11, 2008
Winter is STILL Here
Wow, what a day!!!
Had a car accident today. Could've been really bad, but God was truly protecting me and my van. It was sleeting today off and on, but it wasn't a wet and rainy kind of sleet like we are used to. It was more dry and snow like, literally blowing around on the road. I had to go to the bank to get money for my mom (making good on my part of the deal with her buying my van). On the way back, all was well. I wasn't speeding. I was driving normally and pretty defensively I thought. I was on the phone with my sweetie since he was driving to NC from Memphis.
No, I wasn't distracted. No, I wasn't dialing numbers ot texting, or anything like that. Yes, BOTH hands were on the wheel, my phone was resting between my head and my shoulder.
All of a sudden, the car began swerving as I was going up the exit ramp. I began braking slowly and trying to steer out of the fishtail that was starting to occur. But, I had no traction, everything I did was futile. I honestly can't imagine what was going through his mind as he had to listen to me screaming at the top of my lungs while I was spinning!
That's right, I said spinning! As in 360 degrees, this-is-not-the-magic-saucer-ride-at-Disney spinning! I think I did two before I finally left the road and was heading into the grassy embankment area. Part of that is really steep, so with the type of momentum my van was in I could have easily rolled over down that embankment! It was all grass, no concrete or anything like that. (trying not to be TOO dramatic....for once) I did stop not too far off the road. All I could think about was getting out of there. Once the car stopped and I was completely ok, I wanted my van to be okay, I was ready to get back to work. But, I was stuck...for a couple of minutes at most. I got out and looked at my van, all was well except for the license plate in the front was bent!
I alternated between drive and park, until I felt her gaining traction. Then we slowly creeped back up to the road. Just then, I saw another truck swerve totally off into the embankment on the other side! Something inside of me told me not to leave them, and I listened. So I got my van safely onto the actual road and pulled over to the right side well out of traffic's way. I made sure no cars were coming (and therefore swerving) before I got out to walk towards the SUV.
"We interrupt this blog to bring you the tragic story of a good samaritan struck and killed by an out of control vehicle on the icy roads today. The single mother of 4 young children had stopped to help another traveler who lost control of their vehicle just moments before."
NOT TRYING TO BE ON THE NEWS THAT WAY!!
Back to the story, and making it shorter, the other person turned out to be a coworker at my job! What were the odds of that really?? We in different departments, so we rarely see each other or really know each other. I didn't even know her name! We couldn't get her unstuck, so I called my manager to let him know what happened, and he walked over to her manager to go out and help her! Then I called my sweetie back to let him know all was well and I talked to him all the way til I got to my desk. He was definitely worried, and I know that was a very helpless feeling. I sent him a text later that said: "And here I was worrying about YOU driving!!"
How about that for a happy ending?? Oh, but one more thing:
Thank You Lord for Protecting me yet again! You are the One who will never fail me, nor disappoint me! If You bring tears to my eyes, they are surely for joy (as they were today)! I am unworthy but eternally grateful, and I thank You daily for Your mercy and grace!! Because of You Lord....I am still here!
Had a car accident today. Could've been really bad, but God was truly protecting me and my van. It was sleeting today off and on, but it wasn't a wet and rainy kind of sleet like we are used to. It was more dry and snow like, literally blowing around on the road. I had to go to the bank to get money for my mom (making good on my part of the deal with her buying my van). On the way back, all was well. I wasn't speeding. I was driving normally and pretty defensively I thought. I was on the phone with my sweetie since he was driving to NC from Memphis.
No, I wasn't distracted. No, I wasn't dialing numbers ot texting, or anything like that. Yes, BOTH hands were on the wheel, my phone was resting between my head and my shoulder.
All of a sudden, the car began swerving as I was going up the exit ramp. I began braking slowly and trying to steer out of the fishtail that was starting to occur. But, I had no traction, everything I did was futile. I honestly can't imagine what was going through his mind as he had to listen to me screaming at the top of my lungs while I was spinning!
That's right, I said spinning! As in 360 degrees, this-is-not-the-magic-saucer-ride-at-Disney spinning! I think I did two before I finally left the road and was heading into the grassy embankment area. Part of that is really steep, so with the type of momentum my van was in I could have easily rolled over down that embankment! It was all grass, no concrete or anything like that. (trying not to be TOO dramatic....for once) I did stop not too far off the road. All I could think about was getting out of there. Once the car stopped and I was completely ok, I wanted my van to be okay, I was ready to get back to work. But, I was stuck...for a couple of minutes at most. I got out and looked at my van, all was well except for the license plate in the front was bent!
I alternated between drive and park, until I felt her gaining traction. Then we slowly creeped back up to the road. Just then, I saw another truck swerve totally off into the embankment on the other side! Something inside of me told me not to leave them, and I listened. So I got my van safely onto the actual road and pulled over to the right side well out of traffic's way. I made sure no cars were coming (and therefore swerving) before I got out to walk towards the SUV.
"We interrupt this blog to bring you the tragic story of a good samaritan struck and killed by an out of control vehicle on the icy roads today. The single mother of 4 young children had stopped to help another traveler who lost control of their vehicle just moments before."
NOT TRYING TO BE ON THE NEWS THAT WAY!!
Back to the story, and making it shorter, the other person turned out to be a coworker at my job! What were the odds of that really?? We in different departments, so we rarely see each other or really know each other. I didn't even know her name! We couldn't get her unstuck, so I called my manager to let him know what happened, and he walked over to her manager to go out and help her! Then I called my sweetie back to let him know all was well and I talked to him all the way til I got to my desk. He was definitely worried, and I know that was a very helpless feeling. I sent him a text later that said: "And here I was worrying about YOU driving!!"
How about that for a happy ending?? Oh, but one more thing:
Thank You Lord for Protecting me yet again! You are the One who will never fail me, nor disappoint me! If You bring tears to my eyes, they are surely for joy (as they were today)! I am unworthy but eternally grateful, and I thank You daily for Your mercy and grace!! Because of You Lord....I am still here!
Quote of the Day
“I’d rather hope for a lot and get half, rather than hope for a little and get all of it!!”
Joyce Meyer
February 10, 2008
The Weekend in Review
Whew! Wow, it's amazing how quickly money can go!
I got my tax retrn deposited on Friday (Thank You Father!!!) I missed Thursday and Friday from work due to the 'love note' I received from daycare on Wednesday. I told them one of the kids was sick. I didn't really have a choice, you know? At least this way, I can be sure I can log sick time and get paid for it! Again...Welcome to Solo-Mommy's World! I do what I have to!
I was all freaking out this weekend, worried about Dante. The last time I talked to him, he was gonna call me back once he got home, and then I didn't hear from him until Sunday night. I knew he had to work, and I knew he was to be driving to NC for work next week. I sent him a Good Morning text Saturday morning and got no response - which is unusual. So later in the afternoon/evening, I called and left a voicemail since no answer. Nada - again, unusual. Called Sunday afternoon to say I was just checking on him, and by that time I had given up. I knew him well enough to know he would call, though not as soon as I wanted him to of course. So my mind was wandering all sorts of places. I actually woke up Sunday from a bad dream of my mom having driven all the way up here to tell me in person that she saw the news saying he had been killed in a car accident! (Remember, I knew he was to be driving to NC soon?) So, I prayed against such horrible thoughts...and the pendulum started swinging the other way.
"What if he is there, but just not answering you because he's with someone else this weekend?"
Yeah, I kicked the little devil off my shoulder for that one! That's just years of deceit and mistrust that I am still working through, because he has given me no reason to think such a thing or doubt what he tells me is truth.
Then when I was upstairs working on clothes in the girls' room, I missed his call on my cell downstairs. I even told him I was gonna whoop him for making me worry! And he's like "Duh, I told you I was working this weekend!" But I'm like, "Yeah, but I thought you meant going into the office on Saturday!" And he's like, "Um....no!" Sooooooo, then who's left with egg on her face for worrying and losing sleep for nothing???
(Solo-mommy sheepishly raises her hand)
In other news, Can't Get Right actually came through today! I went to a furniture store to pick up the dresser I bought for the girls, and a bunkie board for DJ's bunk bed (so he can finally sleep in it, poor thing). Well, the delivery people loaded it up, so on my way home I'm thinking who am I gonna get to help me get it in the house? On a whim, and it being Sunday and all, I dialed his number. Straight to voicemeail, and I'm not shocked. I called again about a minute later, and it rang, and ... (drum roll) ... He Answered!!! Yeah well, it shocked the hell out of me. I told him I needed him at the house for a few minutes cause I needed help taking a dresser for the girls upstairs to their room.
Surprisingly enough, he showed up in a timely fashion! Starr was happy to see him of course, as were Bruzer and Champagne. DJ went with his dad on Saturday and didn't get back til tonight. He took the dresser up by himself, and then took the bunkie board to the boys' room also. He stayed for a minute and talked, and I chastized him for not coming by to see Starr since well before her birthday in November. He made a comment about Memphis, and I warned him that he really doesn't want to go there. See there is thing about me that he knows, if you ask me a question I will assume you really want the answer. So, I'll give it to you, whether you like it or not! So, he took a detour from such a dangerous path, for the sake of getting his feelings (and perhaps his ego) hurt.
Then he was off to work. And I confirmed something during that visit. It's really over.
Usually when I see him, no matter what else in going on in my life or who I am with, there is this attraction I feel for him. I could always look at him, even on his worst days or when he was sick, and think he just the cutest thing ever. Not there...gone....nada. That felt really good. Sometimes you can be so over a person....until you see them. Then all the feelings rush back to the surface ( I have a LOT of experience in this area). Today was the proof, that it's gone baby gone!
WOOHOO! I'm FREE!! (solo-mommy dances a quick jig)
Saturday, I spent the day with Leigh and her girls. Went down to ESL and got more gray contacts, finally. My last pair did not survive the first weekend in Memphis! (I will let you think what you want on that one!) I went to Target and spent loads of money, but got things the kids and the household surely were overdue for. I went to Sam's and spent a bill on meat alone, but it will last well into spring. I went to Wal-Mart and spent a mint on more household stuff and grocery and undies for the kids. I bought a computer for an awesome price on ebay. So, I can be back to work soon at home!!!!! YAY!!!! I bought a digital camera/camcorder, and an mp3/mp4 player for me and an mp3 player for DJ. I am so ecstatic that the bills are caught up and will stay up from this point on, and I can finally get to work bringing a few extra hundred a month working nights and weekends from the comfort of my own home. One more thing I need to purchase to do that though? A damn portable heater, cause it is cold in here right now!!!!
On that note, I am going to soak in a warm bath (a rare luxury for me), and then head to bed!
I got my tax retrn deposited on Friday (Thank You Father!!!) I missed Thursday and Friday from work due to the 'love note' I received from daycare on Wednesday. I told them one of the kids was sick. I didn't really have a choice, you know? At least this way, I can be sure I can log sick time and get paid for it! Again...Welcome to Solo-Mommy's World! I do what I have to!
I was all freaking out this weekend, worried about Dante. The last time I talked to him, he was gonna call me back once he got home, and then I didn't hear from him until Sunday night. I knew he had to work, and I knew he was to be driving to NC for work next week. I sent him a Good Morning text Saturday morning and got no response - which is unusual. So later in the afternoon/evening, I called and left a voicemail since no answer. Nada - again, unusual. Called Sunday afternoon to say I was just checking on him, and by that time I had given up. I knew him well enough to know he would call, though not as soon as I wanted him to of course. So my mind was wandering all sorts of places. I actually woke up Sunday from a bad dream of my mom having driven all the way up here to tell me in person that she saw the news saying he had been killed in a car accident! (Remember, I knew he was to be driving to NC soon?) So, I prayed against such horrible thoughts...and the pendulum started swinging the other way.
"What if he is there, but just not answering you because he's with someone else this weekend?"
Yeah, I kicked the little devil off my shoulder for that one! That's just years of deceit and mistrust that I am still working through, because he has given me no reason to think such a thing or doubt what he tells me is truth.
Then when I was upstairs working on clothes in the girls' room, I missed his call on my cell downstairs. I even told him I was gonna whoop him for making me worry! And he's like "Duh, I told you I was working this weekend!" But I'm like, "Yeah, but I thought you meant going into the office on Saturday!" And he's like, "Um....no!" Sooooooo, then who's left with egg on her face for worrying and losing sleep for nothing???
(Solo-mommy sheepishly raises her hand)
In other news, Can't Get Right actually came through today! I went to a furniture store to pick up the dresser I bought for the girls, and a bunkie board for DJ's bunk bed (so he can finally sleep in it, poor thing). Well, the delivery people loaded it up, so on my way home I'm thinking who am I gonna get to help me get it in the house? On a whim, and it being Sunday and all, I dialed his number. Straight to voicemeail, and I'm not shocked. I called again about a minute later, and it rang, and ... (drum roll) ... He Answered!!! Yeah well, it shocked the hell out of me. I told him I needed him at the house for a few minutes cause I needed help taking a dresser for the girls upstairs to their room.
Surprisingly enough, he showed up in a timely fashion! Starr was happy to see him of course, as were Bruzer and Champagne. DJ went with his dad on Saturday and didn't get back til tonight. He took the dresser up by himself, and then took the bunkie board to the boys' room also. He stayed for a minute and talked, and I chastized him for not coming by to see Starr since well before her birthday in November. He made a comment about Memphis, and I warned him that he really doesn't want to go there. See there is thing about me that he knows, if you ask me a question I will assume you really want the answer. So, I'll give it to you, whether you like it or not! So, he took a detour from such a dangerous path, for the sake of getting his feelings (and perhaps his ego) hurt.
Then he was off to work. And I confirmed something during that visit. It's really over.
Usually when I see him, no matter what else in going on in my life or who I am with, there is this attraction I feel for him. I could always look at him, even on his worst days or when he was sick, and think he just the cutest thing ever. Not there...gone....nada. That felt really good. Sometimes you can be so over a person....until you see them. Then all the feelings rush back to the surface ( I have a LOT of experience in this area). Today was the proof, that it's gone baby gone!
WOOHOO! I'm FREE!! (solo-mommy dances a quick jig)
Saturday, I spent the day with Leigh and her girls. Went down to ESL and got more gray contacts, finally. My last pair did not survive the first weekend in Memphis! (I will let you think what you want on that one!) I went to Target and spent loads of money, but got things the kids and the household surely were overdue for. I went to Sam's and spent a bill on meat alone, but it will last well into spring. I went to Wal-Mart and spent a mint on more household stuff and grocery and undies for the kids. I bought a computer for an awesome price on ebay. So, I can be back to work soon at home!!!!! YAY!!!! I bought a digital camera/camcorder, and an mp3/mp4 player for me and an mp3 player for DJ. I am so ecstatic that the bills are caught up and will stay up from this point on, and I can finally get to work bringing a few extra hundred a month working nights and weekends from the comfort of my own home. One more thing I need to purchase to do that though? A damn portable heater, cause it is cold in here right now!!!!
On that note, I am going to soak in a warm bath (a rare luxury for me), and then head to bed!
February 7, 2008
Wild Wednesday!!
Yesterday was very challenging. I couldn't even post this last night because I was so mentally exhausted!! So back to the beginning...
It started out that morning doing my usual wake-up call to Dante. I couldn't get a hold of him. I figured he had overslept BIG TIME, since I called about 10 times over the course of an hour. He had PT at 7a...and I finally stopped calling about 730a. I wouldn't have been this obsessive had there not been a damaging tornado that touched down near him in Bartlett!! I talked to him that night when I saw the initial report on cnn.com, and he confirmed he was okay. Well apparently, the power went out and his phone (aka his backup alarm clock) was charging in the car! Another emotional crisis averted!
Then it continued on when I got to work. I opened up my email, and there was a letter from the bff. Oh My God!! First, I was shocked. Then I was upset that such an emotionally explosive email was sent to my JOB! I mean, I was on the phone in my worst voice, trying not to cry.
Yes, then it changed to sadness. I won't go into the email specifics, but she went back and re-read the ranting email I wrote on my birthday weekend. I won't even link to it because, like I told her, I hadn't ever re-read that email because it brought up an upsetting period. Basically her email left me wondering what she was thinking. Like was she trying to decide if she even wanted to be friends anymore. That's the impression the email gave me, and it was too much to handle at once. Not like the rest of my life is going so peachy right now either, you know.
I had to get past it, because I don't have the type of job that I can leave to go home if I'm just not "up for it" that day.
So what did I do? I used my extreme personality to my professional benefit. I swung the pendulum to other side! I was insanely chipper and jokey and happy, until I was able to balance out after lunch. It worked...for the most part. She and I emailed back and forth a couple of times, and basically straightened things out by the end of the day.
To add to the emotional rollercoaster, I was following a thought in my head that led me to research potentional surgeons for a procedure that I may have one day. (Yes I am being purposely vague. No I will probably NEVER tell you what it is) What was best was reading the testimonials of real people, and to know I wasn't alone in the way I've been feeling. But, most of all, knowing there's hope for a different tomorrow. I was all mushy inside by the end of the workday!
Then I get to the daycare and get the "kids cannot return to daycare unless entire bill is paid" statement, which I call the 'love note' for short. I wrote a check a few weeks back and wrapped it in a full piece of paper that I had written a note on. I also post-dated the check for a week later when I got paid. They completely disregarded both of those things and deposited the check when they felt like it. So of course it bounced, because I hadn't gotten paid yet. But, you know I just have hundreds of dollars just LYING around everywhere right? So, in their world, it's not that I can't afford to pay at that exact moment. It's that I CHOOSE not to share all the money I have in the bank with them!
Yeah! As if!
So, as it turns out, I ended up missing today anyway! I was so emotionally exhausted by the end of yesterday...I just didn't care anymore. I got up and called in this morning. Then I called Dante to make sure he was awake, and proceeded to get up and get moving as usual.
Still no direct deposit of federal taxes yet, hoping for tomorrow. Still very inconsistent on the child support payments from Joe, don't know what's going on with the job. All I know is I've gotten 3 payments in the last 6-8 weeks, as opposed to 1 every week. That's like an almost $3 an hour pay cut! How would you do in that situation??
Welcome to my world.
It started out that morning doing my usual wake-up call to Dante. I couldn't get a hold of him. I figured he had overslept BIG TIME, since I called about 10 times over the course of an hour. He had PT at 7a...and I finally stopped calling about 730a. I wouldn't have been this obsessive had there not been a damaging tornado that touched down near him in Bartlett!! I talked to him that night when I saw the initial report on cnn.com, and he confirmed he was okay. Well apparently, the power went out and his phone (aka his backup alarm clock) was charging in the car! Another emotional crisis averted!
Then it continued on when I got to work. I opened up my email, and there was a letter from the bff. Oh My God!! First, I was shocked. Then I was upset that such an emotionally explosive email was sent to my JOB! I mean, I was on the phone in my worst voice, trying not to cry.
Yes, then it changed to sadness. I won't go into the email specifics, but she went back and re-read the ranting email I wrote on my birthday weekend. I won't even link to it because, like I told her, I hadn't ever re-read that email because it brought up an upsetting period. Basically her email left me wondering what she was thinking. Like was she trying to decide if she even wanted to be friends anymore. That's the impression the email gave me, and it was too much to handle at once. Not like the rest of my life is going so peachy right now either, you know.
I had to get past it, because I don't have the type of job that I can leave to go home if I'm just not "up for it" that day.
So what did I do? I used my extreme personality to my professional benefit. I swung the pendulum to other side! I was insanely chipper and jokey and happy, until I was able to balance out after lunch. It worked...for the most part. She and I emailed back and forth a couple of times, and basically straightened things out by the end of the day.
To add to the emotional rollercoaster, I was following a thought in my head that led me to research potentional surgeons for a procedure that I may have one day. (Yes I am being purposely vague. No I will probably NEVER tell you what it is) What was best was reading the testimonials of real people, and to know I wasn't alone in the way I've been feeling. But, most of all, knowing there's hope for a different tomorrow. I was all mushy inside by the end of the workday!
Then I get to the daycare and get the "kids cannot return to daycare unless entire bill is paid" statement, which I call the 'love note' for short. I wrote a check a few weeks back and wrapped it in a full piece of paper that I had written a note on. I also post-dated the check for a week later when I got paid. They completely disregarded both of those things and deposited the check when they felt like it. So of course it bounced, because I hadn't gotten paid yet. But, you know I just have hundreds of dollars just LYING around everywhere right? So, in their world, it's not that I can't afford to pay at that exact moment. It's that I CHOOSE not to share all the money I have in the bank with them!
Yeah! As if!
So, as it turns out, I ended up missing today anyway! I was so emotionally exhausted by the end of yesterday...I just didn't care anymore. I got up and called in this morning. Then I called Dante to make sure he was awake, and proceeded to get up and get moving as usual.
Still no direct deposit of federal taxes yet, hoping for tomorrow. Still very inconsistent on the child support payments from Joe, don't know what's going on with the job. All I know is I've gotten 3 payments in the last 6-8 weeks, as opposed to 1 every week. That's like an almost $3 an hour pay cut! How would you do in that situation??
Welcome to my world.
February 5, 2008
Just One of Those Days
Wow...today was a challenging day to keep the positive thoughts flowing! SO much stuff is going on!
Money is not where it could be. Still waiting on my refund deposit...ANXIOUSLY awaiting it.
Don't know what's going on with the bff. She has been incommunicado for the past few days. I called her a couple of times on Sunday on my way home and did hear from her. I sent a text message. Nothing. I called Monday morning. Nothing. I get a very vague email saying she was not in the mood to talk yet about stuff that happened over the weekend. Tuesday morning I sent a text. Nothing. I sent an email asking was everything ok, and was it something I did? She didn't answer the second question but said everything was not okay. I just think that's weird, but I understand that all people are different.
When I go in my little shell, I may not reach out first, but I don't just shut people out. I still do that now for the most part. Most people I talk to call me first, otherwise I could be in my little world all evening. But if someone calls, I answer. I won't just look at the call and ignore it. But that's just who I am, and I have to accept that everyone isn't the same. People handle situations in their lives differently. Kween helped me understand that today. She told me weeks went by once and she just didn't talk to any of her friends, and barely talked to her kids. The phone would ring or they would send a text message, and she would just look at it. She said she would maybe check the voicemail to make sure nothing was seriously wrong, but that was it. She said it was so bad they called her daughter's phone to make sure nothing had happened to her!
That's just weird to me. Why would you just shut people out that have done nothing wrong to you? But it makes perfect sense to her. So, I just have to realize that it's not all about me (shocking, I know)...and when my bff wants to talk to me again, I will be here. But man, tomorrow is Wednesday, this is very challenging!
It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me.
Yeah, still not working. Tomorrow will be better though, I PROMISE.
pps. Was freaking out due to tornadoes waaaaay too close to Dante in Memphis! But he comfirmed he is fine. Waiting to hear from Kween about her folks.
Money is not where it could be. Still waiting on my refund deposit...ANXIOUSLY awaiting it.
Don't know what's going on with the bff. She has been incommunicado for the past few days. I called her a couple of times on Sunday on my way home and did hear from her. I sent a text message. Nothing. I called Monday morning. Nothing. I get a very vague email saying she was not in the mood to talk yet about stuff that happened over the weekend. Tuesday morning I sent a text. Nothing. I sent an email asking was everything ok, and was it something I did? She didn't answer the second question but said everything was not okay. I just think that's weird, but I understand that all people are different.
When I go in my little shell, I may not reach out first, but I don't just shut people out. I still do that now for the most part. Most people I talk to call me first, otherwise I could be in my little world all evening. But if someone calls, I answer. I won't just look at the call and ignore it. But that's just who I am, and I have to accept that everyone isn't the same. People handle situations in their lives differently. Kween helped me understand that today. She told me weeks went by once and she just didn't talk to any of her friends, and barely talked to her kids. The phone would ring or they would send a text message, and she would just look at it. She said she would maybe check the voicemail to make sure nothing was seriously wrong, but that was it. She said it was so bad they called her daughter's phone to make sure nothing had happened to her!
That's just weird to me. Why would you just shut people out that have done nothing wrong to you? But it makes perfect sense to her. So, I just have to realize that it's not all about me (shocking, I know)...and when my bff wants to talk to me again, I will be here. But man, tomorrow is Wednesday, this is very challenging!
It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me. It's not about me.
Yeah, still not working. Tomorrow will be better though, I PROMISE.
pps. Was freaking out due to tornadoes waaaaay too close to Dante in Memphis! But he comfirmed he is fine. Waiting to hear from Kween about her folks.
Something To Make You Feel Good!!
I am having a challenging day today and I got this by email, so I wanted to share.
Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one.
1. Falling in love. (DEFINITELY A HIGH)
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower. (YES!!!!)
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside. (BETTER WITH YOUR SWEETIE!)
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach.
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you.
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about y ou.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (with the one you love).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair. (Can I say WEAK SPOT?!)
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings (I can attest to this one! Try it sometime!)
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies .
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about. (That’s a definite yes…even if it’s your kids!)
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you.
41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody you care about misses you. (Talk about a Good Feeling!!)
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
February 4, 2008
Quote Of The Year!!!
With hurricanes, tornados, fires out of control, mud slides, flooding,
severe thunderstorms tearing up the country from one end to another,
and with the threat of bird flu and terrorist attacks,
are we sure this is a good time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance?
The Weekend in Review
Yes, I had a great time. I got to see my sweetie, so of course it was all good! Kween was able to ride with me, along with her 13-year old daughter who was sick. We didn’t get on the highway until 6p, but we made good time getting there. Highways were clear and dry in
Dante and I were texting the entire time I was driving (yeah, safe I know!), so I told him to meet me at her father’s house when we got there. I called when we got into town, and he arrived about 5 minutes after we did. I said my hellos and goodbyes when I saw his lights in the driveway. I was so excited to see him!! It showed that he was excited to see me too!
Get your mind out of the gutter, that’s not what I meant!
It was like on the movies, where the people are just kissing and completely melted into one another, and can barely part from each other long enough to get where they are getting! I called my mom on the way to the apartment to let her know I made it there. We got everything unloaded into the house. Then we caught up a little from the last 5 weeks – repeat 5 WEEKS – of not seeing each other! But it wasn’t all bliss while I was there. I had to put him in place right away. It went something like this:
ME: What do you think you’re doing?
HIM: Just washing a couple of dishes. Why?
ME: Do you even SEE me standing here?
HIM: Yes sweetie. I was just…
ME: Touch another dish while I’m here, and see what happens!
As I’ve stated before, I love spoiling him while I’m there. I mean heck (as far as I know) he’s alone all the rest of the time, and no choice but to wash dishes and clothes by himself. So, one of my treats while I there is to relieve him of his household duties for the most part. He understands the rules, I just had to refresh his memory! Oh, please know it goes both ways. I think at some point Saturday, I was threatened to draw back a nub if I reached for another door again in his presence!
We didn’t get to see one movie on Saturday though. My back was hurting really bad, and he didn’t have any Aleve. So I took a couple of 10mg muscle relaxers. OMG! I couldn’t stay awake. I slept in the car to get lunch. I slept in the car on the way to Wal-Mart. I slept in the car on the way back to the apartment. Then I slept for about 2 hours then!!! I am not usually sensitive to meds at all, so that threw me for a loop! Then we both laid on the couch a little later after dinner and went to sleep. Party animals, huh?! LOL
We woke up later and stayed up until after 2a watching movies and “stuff”. We watched a piece of crap called ‘No Country for Old Men’. Yes, this Oscar-nominated movie is crap. It has a stupid and completely anti-climatic ending. In my opinion, there was a lot of graphic violence for the sake of violence. So, after that went off, we decided to end our night on a MUCH better note!
Since I had to leave earlier than I would have liked on Sunday, the morning seemed to fly by! I made breakfast, and we got a chance to just enjoy each other’s company for awhile, which felt really nice. He wanted me to cut his hair, and I did that. It may not have been a big deal to him, but it was to me. I mean yeah on the one hand, how bad can you screw up cutting it all off? But on the other hand, that displays a lot of trust to let me do it in the first place. So I wanted to make sure I did a good job. After all, I have been cutting the boys’ hair since DJ’s first birthday.
Anyway, we left the apartment and arrived at Kween’s father’s house and were ready to roll. But not after I got a few more very delicious smooches for the road! I made it home a lot later than the time I expected to get back. We had to stop in
February 1, 2008
Today is the Day
Well, it snowed pretty good here. I am glad I took the day off for sure!
I got out there this morning and shoveled the back walk area so me and my neighbors could both get to the basement. If you remember, my basement is accessible only through an outside door. It's not as bad as you may think, even in this weather I don't even wear a coat to down there. Then a little later, my neighbor and her oldest son shoveled the front walkway.
I started my laundry, since I am down to no underwear! Yeah, I said it! I'm wearing the last pair right now!! But I tell this much, my kids have clean underwear in their drawers...and that's where my first priority lies! I then went and shoveled around the van and cleaned her (my van) off. I still need to get the fuel system cleaned before I get on the road.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that! I went to the doctor the other day because my throat was so bad, I couldn't eat or drink cause it hurt to swallow. Of course the next day it was feeling better - and I hadn't even got the meds yet!!! TOLD YOU SO!!!!
After the doctor appointment, I went to Valvoline and got my oil changed since I had an awesome $15 off coupon! I got the high-mileage synthetic blend, which means I can go 4000 miles. She does have 119,000 miles on her, and I plan to keep her for another couple of years, so I gotta take care of her! I was worried but fuel efficiency was lagging and so was her get-up-and-go, thought it was time for a tune-up (which are not cheap). Turns out, according to very helpful and hands-on (the van, of course) guy at Valvoline, I need my fuel system cleaned. He showed it to me and explained it to me. He even asked me, if my van was having a bit of hesitation going up hills and stuff...so I don't feel like I'm getting hosed! That's about $75, as opposed to near $200 for a BASIC tune-up. I told my mom about it, and she said she was going to go check them out before she spends almost $400 on a tuneup for her '97 Chrysler Town and Country! I pray that works for her also.
So, I am getting the kids ready while my clothes are washing and drying. Then I'm gonna jump in the shower and also wash my hair while I'm in there. It's going on one o'clock now, and I would like to be on the road by about 4 or 5 this afternoon. My bff told me this morning that she has a 'bad feeling' about me going, and she just wanted to go on record as saying such. My family has been freaking out because of the weather and telling me of course maybe I should postpone and all that. But, that's why I am waiting, cause I want there to be plenty of time for them to get the roads cleared, plowed and well-salted. Once I get out of Missouri, there's nothing...and I will be very careful. I PROMISE!!
Why am I still going? Not because I am so desperate to see Dante. Not because I can't wait to get away from my children. But because I am tired of always settling for disappointment because obstacles get in the way. I have really been looking forward to this trip, and usually when I plan (and look forward to) something in advance it always falls through! (Remember my birthday?) Enough with that life! I have to make decisions for myself (as -ironically- my bff was just talking about doing in her life in that same conversation). Because honestly, if it's a bad decision I would have noone to blame or fault but myself, instead of wishing or regretting not following my own mind. My mind is telling me to be cautious and careful on the roads, don't rush, and make sure the car is highway worthy. That's what I'm listening to.
I'll let you know how WONDERFULLY things went when I get back.
I got out there this morning and shoveled the back walk area so me and my neighbors could both get to the basement. If you remember, my basement is accessible only through an outside door. It's not as bad as you may think, even in this weather I don't even wear a coat to down there. Then a little later, my neighbor and her oldest son shoveled the front walkway.
I started my laundry, since I am down to no underwear! Yeah, I said it! I'm wearing the last pair right now!! But I tell this much, my kids have clean underwear in their drawers...and that's where my first priority lies! I then went and shoveled around the van and cleaned her (my van) off. I still need to get the fuel system cleaned before I get on the road.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that! I went to the doctor the other day because my throat was so bad, I couldn't eat or drink cause it hurt to swallow. Of course the next day it was feeling better - and I hadn't even got the meds yet!!! TOLD YOU SO!!!!
After the doctor appointment, I went to Valvoline and got my oil changed since I had an awesome $15 off coupon! I got the high-mileage synthetic blend, which means I can go 4000 miles. She does have 119,000 miles on her, and I plan to keep her for another couple of years, so I gotta take care of her! I was worried but fuel efficiency was lagging and so was her get-up-and-go, thought it was time for a tune-up (which are not cheap). Turns out, according to very helpful and hands-on (the van, of course) guy at Valvoline, I need my fuel system cleaned. He showed it to me and explained it to me. He even asked me, if my van was having a bit of hesitation going up hills and stuff...so I don't feel like I'm getting hosed! That's about $75, as opposed to near $200 for a BASIC tune-up. I told my mom about it, and she said she was going to go check them out before she spends almost $400 on a tuneup for her '97 Chrysler Town and Country! I pray that works for her also.
So, I am getting the kids ready while my clothes are washing and drying. Then I'm gonna jump in the shower and also wash my hair while I'm in there. It's going on one o'clock now, and I would like to be on the road by about 4 or 5 this afternoon. My bff told me this morning that she has a 'bad feeling' about me going, and she just wanted to go on record as saying such. My family has been freaking out because of the weather and telling me of course maybe I should postpone and all that. But, that's why I am waiting, cause I want there to be plenty of time for them to get the roads cleared, plowed and well-salted. Once I get out of Missouri, there's nothing...and I will be very careful. I PROMISE!!
Why am I still going? Not because I am so desperate to see Dante. Not because I can't wait to get away from my children. But because I am tired of always settling for disappointment because obstacles get in the way. I have really been looking forward to this trip, and usually when I plan (and look forward to) something in advance it always falls through! (Remember my birthday?) Enough with that life! I have to make decisions for myself (as -ironically- my bff was just talking about doing in her life in that same conversation). Because honestly, if it's a bad decision I would have noone to blame or fault but myself, instead of wishing or regretting not following my own mind. My mind is telling me to be cautious and careful on the roads, don't rush, and make sure the car is highway worthy. That's what I'm listening to.
I'll let you know how WONDERFULLY things went when I get back.
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