I did it!!! StarrDom Travel is officially in business! I booked my first vacation for eight (yes 8!) to DisneyWorld for this summer! I met with the client and she is already talking about what she wants to do next year! WooHoo!
I am not out of the woods yet. I want to make sure this trip is memorable and pleasurable and as worry-free as possible, so that she will not only be a repeat client, but she will also tell her friends and family as well!
I do have more organizing to do at home, but I really know I can do this now! I'm excited to do this now! The fire has been lit!!
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Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
Showing posts with label travel. Show all posts
May 26, 2009
April 6, 2009
This Is How You Make Your Job Fun!!
This is one of the reasons I always enjoyed Southwest Airlines! Even as a travel agent...these people - both in person and on the phone - REALLY seemed to love their job.
March 25, 2009
The Atlanta Getaway
What a wonderful trip we had! I drove to Memphis Thursday night, so we could fly out early Friday morning to Atlanta. Everything went off without a hitch! He had one of his Marines that lived in the complex drive us to the airport that morning, and we had plenty of time to wait before boarding. Flight got in early by about 15 minutes. Got to the hotel and there were no 1 bedroom suites available at that time. It was barely 10a, so that was expected. We decided to wait for one, and the front desk manager, Tony, directed us to a restaurant called the Flying Biscuit! YUM!!!! Good, good, good....and good for you too!!! I would have loved to go there again, but we were keeping an eye on the budget.
Our room was amazing! It was huge! Large bedroom with king-size bed. Living room, kitchen with all the accessories, and a balcony to boot!!! Pretty everything we planned to do was in walking distance, so I saw no reason to get a rental car. (Yes, we did utilize every part of the room...including the balcony!)
The first night was our only snafu. We went to dinner and to the movies. We had been drinking alcohol all day. He was drinking Vox and lemonade, and I was drinking Verdi sparkling wine. We each ordered a drink from the bar while we waited for our table. They make their drinks VERY STRONG at Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro in Atlanta! By the time we got to the table he was heavily involved in a text conversation. He told me a little earlier that it was one of the Marines regarding something at work. I believed him, but there was still a part of me that was a bit suspicious when it was going on 11p central time and these texts were still coming. My big problem was that, during the meal, he wasn't really talking to me between bites...he was texting!! No, I didn't hold my tongue about it either. I told him at least once that I was annoyed about it, yet nothing really changed. He went to sleep during the movie, which was expected. Unfortunately though, the last thing he did as he fell asleep was texting! Now, I could have taken that moment to look at his temporarily unlocked phone and see what the real story was, but I absolutely refuse to go down that road again!
On the walk home, I was very quiet and he finally asked me why. I told him straight on what my problem was and that I do not ever expect something like that to happen again. Frankly, it was flat out rude to say the least!!!
After that, his phone was a mere afterthought the rest of the weekend...as it should have been. We were completely into each other. We talked, we played games, we watched TV, we watched a movie, we napped midday. It was truly a blissful vacation for us both!
Already has me anxious to do it again!
Our room was amazing! It was huge! Large bedroom with king-size bed. Living room, kitchen with all the accessories, and a balcony to boot!!! Pretty everything we planned to do was in walking distance, so I saw no reason to get a rental car. (Yes, we did utilize every part of the room...including the balcony!)
The first night was our only snafu. We went to dinner and to the movies. We had been drinking alcohol all day. He was drinking Vox and lemonade, and I was drinking Verdi sparkling wine. We each ordered a drink from the bar while we waited for our table. They make their drinks VERY STRONG at Copeland's Cheesecake Bistro in Atlanta! By the time we got to the table he was heavily involved in a text conversation. He told me a little earlier that it was one of the Marines regarding something at work. I believed him, but there was still a part of me that was a bit suspicious when it was going on 11p central time and these texts were still coming. My big problem was that, during the meal, he wasn't really talking to me between bites...he was texting!! No, I didn't hold my tongue about it either. I told him at least once that I was annoyed about it, yet nothing really changed. He went to sleep during the movie, which was expected. Unfortunately though, the last thing he did as he fell asleep was texting! Now, I could have taken that moment to look at his temporarily unlocked phone and see what the real story was, but I absolutely refuse to go down that road again!
On the walk home, I was very quiet and he finally asked me why. I told him straight on what my problem was and that I do not ever expect something like that to happen again. Frankly, it was flat out rude to say the least!!!
After that, his phone was a mere afterthought the rest of the weekend...as it should have been. We were completely into each other. We talked, we played games, we watched TV, we watched a movie, we napped midday. It was truly a blissful vacation for us both!
Already has me anxious to do it again!
March 24, 2009
The Week in Review
So, I did make it to my trip with Dante. But of course, not without the usual levels of stress. I think this was even higher though. Probably because I had plane tickets this time, and I was so looking forward to it! Long story short, I got to go, but not without a few tense conversations with The Officer. At one point, I reminded her of the trip and she professed to have no idea what I was talking about!! I was livid. Then I felt like I was judged because the trip was more than Friday to Sunday. But, as usual, my mom calmed me down, being the peacekeeper she is. However, when we have our next family meeting, I will bring my feelings up to everyone then.
What feelings you ask? Just the fact that I never make them feel like they make me feel when I ask for something with the kids. I always have to hear the grumbling and semi-complaining, but they hear nothing of the sort from me when I am asked to take kids to the hair salon or wait an extra 20-30 minutes for someone to get out of band. Even worse, after The Officer told me that come heck or high water she was driving to Mt. Vernon this past weekend - and nothing was stopping her...she had the nerve to show up with the kids the next morning and tell me that she had to work that day til 530p!! What if I had plans??? She doesn't even ask!
Anyway, I got to go and had a blast. We really enjoyed each other's company this past weekend. Well, all except for that incident with cell phone and texting Friday night...
(Story later)
What feelings you ask? Just the fact that I never make them feel like they make me feel when I ask for something with the kids. I always have to hear the grumbling and semi-complaining, but they hear nothing of the sort from me when I am asked to take kids to the hair salon or wait an extra 20-30 minutes for someone to get out of band. Even worse, after The Officer told me that come heck or high water she was driving to Mt. Vernon this past weekend - and nothing was stopping her...she had the nerve to show up with the kids the next morning and tell me that she had to work that day til 530p!! What if I had plans??? She doesn't even ask!
Anyway, I got to go and had a blast. We really enjoyed each other's company this past weekend. Well, all except for that incident with cell phone and texting Friday night...
(Story later)
February 26, 2009
My Beautiful (pre) Valentine's Weekend
Okay, I wanted to go back and do this for real, since the last posting was done from my Treo!
I got my mom to come to my house and watch the children for me that weekend. The Officer was off work that day since her youngest was still kinda sick from asthma, so I got to leave even earlier in the day! She has a big enough vehicle to pick up the kids when they get out of school, so that was great! I was on the highway at about 130p I believe. I stopped at a town on the route to go to a um...ahem...adult store to get a special outfit. Okay, maybe not really an "out"fit, but it worked for its purpose!! I can definitely say I will be going back there! Not a sleazy place as many might imagine...very clean and well lit, and the ladies were so courteous and friendly!
I got there that early evening and came in with none of my luggage yet. I had already told him he would have to leave when I got there so I could 'get ready'. I walked in to a dark apartment, with candlelight illuminating from the bathroom and bedroom only, and 'our song' playing on a continuous loop on his laptop! He was not in sight! On the bed, he had rose petals laid out in a design. Pink petals were in the shape of a heart, and red petals were inside the heart in the shape of the letter 'K' (1st initial of my name). I know! It was just as cute as it sounds!! I looked in the bathroom and there was a large card and a gift set of perfume. Burberry Brit to be exact! What a perfect scent on me it is! He did good!!! The next most important factor is that it really turns him on!
If you disagree, you're not doing it right! Plain and simple.
I took the card into the bedroom and knew there was only one place he could be: the walk-in closet! He was coming out just as I was opening my card. It was a singing card too, which he is famous for! I got a couple of good kisses and thanked him for my card and gifts, then told him to scram so I could get prepared. I made sure he had driven away before I got my luggage and stuff out the car. I got him 3 large mylar balloons that had cords from floor to ceiling. I got him a couple of cards, and I set up strawberries, whip cream and champagne with cute little red valentine flutes on the night stand! I took a shower with my new shower gel, then my lotion, then my perfume! Then I put on my "out"fit, complete with fishnets and 4 inch heels! I left the song on a continuous loop, rearranged the heart to the shape of an 'O' around the 'K', and awaited his arrival.
He was very pleased with the look!! I have that look captured in my mental photo album! And the weekend was on to a great start from there! We did a lot of stuff that we had been wanting to do for a while! We both left each other on Sunday with a chessire cat grin! He actually had to work off and on this weekend, but boy did we make up when he showed back up! I love those kind of weekends with him! It's like a little mini-vacation! And...now that I have purchased the airline tickets for us to go to Atlanta, that's gonna be a vacation for real!! I am so excited!
Have I mentioned that I have fallen completely in love with this man? Completely!
I was trying to keep it on the shelf because I didn't really know how he felt, plus he was still technically married. But, once I heard those words (and have heard them a few times since) and as the marriage was officially dissolved, I have really let go a lot more than I was able to before. That's not to say that things are just going to magically fall into place for us. There are still a lot of unknowns on the table at this point. I mean, there's the possibility that he could get promoted and do 2 more years in Memphis! Right, my point exactly, where does that leave us? In a long distance relationship for another 2 years?? Can either of us really handle that?? We're not spring chickens anymore, you know. There's also the issue of the children that he wants. How the hell - other than me having my reversal (which I still don't really know how he feels about that whole idea) and us trying to conceive - will we get across that bridge??? What if he comes home in October/November this year for good, and then between work and school and family obligations not have too much time to invest in this as a serious relationship? Is he ready to get into a serious relationship again? Does he need time to make sure he has "explored all his options" first? Will he be ready to commit to marriage again in a couple of years (since I don't see the point of seriously dating 3+ years without a date set and a ring being worn)?
I'm rattling so I will stop now, but I had to get that out. There's not really anyone I can talk to about the stuff in the previous paragraph and expect anything from. Plus, noone can answer those questions for me anyway, outside of Dante, time and God. I just really needed to get them out of my head for right now is all. It's gotten a little too cluttered in there lately!
I got my mom to come to my house and watch the children for me that weekend. The Officer was off work that day since her youngest was still kinda sick from asthma, so I got to leave even earlier in the day! She has a big enough vehicle to pick up the kids when they get out of school, so that was great! I was on the highway at about 130p I believe. I stopped at a town on the route to go to a um...ahem...adult store to get a special outfit. Okay, maybe not really an "out"fit, but it worked for its purpose!! I can definitely say I will be going back there! Not a sleazy place as many might imagine...very clean and well lit, and the ladies were so courteous and friendly!
I got there that early evening and came in with none of my luggage yet. I had already told him he would have to leave when I got there so I could 'get ready'. I walked in to a dark apartment, with candlelight illuminating from the bathroom and bedroom only, and 'our song' playing on a continuous loop on his laptop! He was not in sight! On the bed, he had rose petals laid out in a design. Pink petals were in the shape of a heart, and red petals were inside the heart in the shape of the letter 'K' (1st initial of my name). I know! It was just as cute as it sounds!! I looked in the bathroom and there was a large card and a gift set of perfume. Burberry Brit to be exact! What a perfect scent on me it is! He did good!!! The next most important factor is that it really turns him on!
If you disagree, you're not doing it right! Plain and simple.
I took the card into the bedroom and knew there was only one place he could be: the walk-in closet! He was coming out just as I was opening my card. It was a singing card too, which he is famous for! I got a couple of good kisses and thanked him for my card and gifts, then told him to scram so I could get prepared. I made sure he had driven away before I got my luggage and stuff out the car. I got him 3 large mylar balloons that had cords from floor to ceiling. I got him a couple of cards, and I set up strawberries, whip cream and champagne with cute little red valentine flutes on the night stand! I took a shower with my new shower gel, then my lotion, then my perfume! Then I put on my "out"fit, complete with fishnets and 4 inch heels! I left the song on a continuous loop, rearranged the heart to the shape of an 'O' around the 'K', and awaited his arrival.
He was very pleased with the look!! I have that look captured in my mental photo album! And the weekend was on to a great start from there! We did a lot of stuff that we had been wanting to do for a while! We both left each other on Sunday with a chessire cat grin! He actually had to work off and on this weekend, but boy did we make up when he showed back up! I love those kind of weekends with him! It's like a little mini-vacation! And...now that I have purchased the airline tickets for us to go to Atlanta, that's gonna be a vacation for real!! I am so excited!
Have I mentioned that I have fallen completely in love with this man? Completely!
I was trying to keep it on the shelf because I didn't really know how he felt, plus he was still technically married. But, once I heard those words (and have heard them a few times since) and as the marriage was officially dissolved, I have really let go a lot more than I was able to before. That's not to say that things are just going to magically fall into place for us. There are still a lot of unknowns on the table at this point. I mean, there's the possibility that he could get promoted and do 2 more years in Memphis! Right, my point exactly, where does that leave us? In a long distance relationship for another 2 years?? Can either of us really handle that?? We're not spring chickens anymore, you know. There's also the issue of the children that he wants. How the hell - other than me having my reversal (which I still don't really know how he feels about that whole idea) and us trying to conceive - will we get across that bridge??? What if he comes home in October/November this year for good, and then between work and school and family obligations not have too much time to invest in this as a serious relationship? Is he ready to get into a serious relationship again? Does he need time to make sure he has "explored all his options" first? Will he be ready to commit to marriage again in a couple of years (since I don't see the point of seriously dating 3+ years without a date set and a ring being worn)?
I'm rattling so I will stop now, but I had to get that out. There's not really anyone I can talk to about the stuff in the previous paragraph and expect anything from. Plus, noone can answer those questions for me anyway, outside of Dante, time and God. I just really needed to get them out of my head for right now is all. It's gotten a little too cluttered in there lately!
January 21, 2009
Big Changes
Firstly, my contract with the elance company fell through! They changed their mind due to the economic situation. I was pretty bummed about it for a minute, but I am recouping.
Me and the kids went to Memphis this past weekend and invaded Dante's one-bedroom apartment. We left on Friday evening and didn't leave until Monday evening. How nice when you are not on someone else's time?? :-) It was a good weekend, and we even got to see the Lorraine Motel on Sunday (where Dr. King was murdered). I think he enjoyed the time with the kids too. It's the first time he has really got to spend such close time with them. I mean, I have great kids anyway, no temper-tantrum throwing brats in my brood...and they're really cute too!!! I ended up with a headache Saturday night after we got back from the drive-in, and was in bed by 10p. So that left him with the kids until they went to bed! He's awesome with kids, and I feel we have the same theories regarding child-rearing (for the most part), so I wasn't worried.
A couple things bothered me during the trip, and I eventually shared them with him the morning I got back here. He answered every issue I brought up to him, as I knew he would. Every issue had a good answer/perfectly logical solution...and I expected nothing less. Does that completely quell the intuition? Mostly, but a little part of me will still wonder. I mean, I know he and think alike, so I know that I would have had great answers as well. I do not feel that I have a reason not to trust him, and so I do. I trust that he won't put my health at risk. If there is someone warming his bed occasionally, they are protected. I trust that he won't blindside me and break my heart. If he gets involved with someone he cares for more than me (can't imagine, cuz how does it get more fabulous than me??), he will tell me before things get out of hand. I trust that he loves me like he has more freely began to express. I look into his eyes, I feel it when he holds me, I know it's there. This is where I choose to be. With him.
I do still have some issues reservations, yes. I can't say when those things may go away anytime soon. Some of it has to do with me and past situations. However, some of it also has to do with his actions too. There are things that he can do to reassure me that "I'm the only one." (his words) I may have mentioned this before, but I still sometimes feel like I am his little secret...or lately like I am an unknowing participant on a season of The Bachelor. Time will tell, and I will continue to love him. Fine, call me a fool if you want. With the b.s. that the BFF just dealt with with this serpent in Louisville, I could let that affect how I feel about Dante. They are completely different, in almost every sense of the word, so no contest! Sometime the hardest thing to do is make a decision.
I made mine. I am aware of the possible consequences, good and bad. I accept that and stand by my decision 100%. There, I said it!
p.s. Did I mention the insane amount of sex we had this weekend??!! Whew!! (yes, even in a 1BR apartment with 4 children present! SO I don't want to hear that BS from couples talking about they have no time because of the children)
Me and the kids went to Memphis this past weekend and invaded Dante's one-bedroom apartment. We left on Friday evening and didn't leave until Monday evening. How nice when you are not on someone else's time?? :-) It was a good weekend, and we even got to see the Lorraine Motel on Sunday (where Dr. King was murdered). I think he enjoyed the time with the kids too. It's the first time he has really got to spend such close time with them. I mean, I have great kids anyway, no temper-tantrum throwing brats in my brood...and they're really cute too!!! I ended up with a headache Saturday night after we got back from the drive-in, and was in bed by 10p. So that left him with the kids until they went to bed! He's awesome with kids, and I feel we have the same theories regarding child-rearing (for the most part), so I wasn't worried.
A couple things bothered me during the trip, and I eventually shared them with him the morning I got back here. He answered every issue I brought up to him, as I knew he would. Every issue had a good answer/perfectly logical solution...and I expected nothing less. Does that completely quell the intuition? Mostly, but a little part of me will still wonder. I mean, I know he and think alike, so I know that I would have had great answers as well. I do not feel that I have a reason not to trust him, and so I do. I trust that he won't put my health at risk. If there is someone warming his bed occasionally, they are protected. I trust that he won't blindside me and break my heart. If he gets involved with someone he cares for more than me (can't imagine, cuz how does it get more fabulous than me??), he will tell me before things get out of hand. I trust that he loves me like he has more freely began to express. I look into his eyes, I feel it when he holds me, I know it's there. This is where I choose to be. With him.
I do still have some issues reservations, yes. I can't say when those things may go away anytime soon. Some of it has to do with me and past situations. However, some of it also has to do with his actions too. There are things that he can do to reassure me that "I'm the only one." (his words) I may have mentioned this before, but I still sometimes feel like I am his little secret...or lately like I am an unknowing participant on a season of The Bachelor. Time will tell, and I will continue to love him. Fine, call me a fool if you want. With the b.s. that the BFF just dealt with with this serpent in Louisville, I could let that affect how I feel about Dante. They are completely different, in almost every sense of the word, so no contest! Sometime the hardest thing to do is make a decision.
I made mine. I am aware of the possible consequences, good and bad. I accept that and stand by my decision 100%. There, I said it!
p.s. Did I mention the insane amount of sex we had this weekend??!! Whew!! (yes, even in a 1BR apartment with 4 children present! SO I don't want to hear that BS from couples talking about they have no time because of the children)
January 12, 2009
Happy Monday!!
It's 8 days before the inauguration of the 44th President of the United States, Mr. Barack Obama.
Let me just say this as uncooth and politically incorrect as possible: I believe that this man has a fair chance at doing an excellent job running this country! I don't give a rat's ass about how little experience he has!! George W. Bush went straight from no political office to governor of Texas...to the White House! Look how well that catastrophe walking turned out!!!! One of the reasons I was so excited about Mr. Obama is that he hasn't been "tainted" by the quid pro quo bullshit in politics! And as far as the absolute morons who keep claiming Obama is the anti-christ:
Let me just say this as uncooth and politically incorrect as possible: I believe that this man has a fair chance at doing an excellent job running this country! I don't give a rat's ass about how little experience he has!! George W. Bush went straight from no political office to governor of Texas...to the White House! Look how well that catastrophe walking turned out!!!! One of the reasons I was so excited about Mr. Obama is that he hasn't been "tainted" by the quid pro quo bullshit in politics! And as far as the absolute morons who keep claiming Obama is the anti-christ:
GET A LIFE!! IF YOU DON'T LIKE THE DIRECTION THINGS ARE HEADED, EITHER MOVE TO CANADA OR MEXICO...OR SEND YOURSELF TO HEAVEN NOW!!! (that is, IF you're really going there)
Okay, now that that's off my chest, I feel much better! If I offended anyone...toughen up!!! Life is not for the weak at heart!!!!
In other news:
I am getting uber-excited about our trip to Memphis this weekend...me and the kids that is! This upcoming weekend is Martin Luther King Jr Memorial Holiday, so what better time than a 3day weekend to go? And, by taking my bunch with me...I completely bypass the whole issue of babysitting! Plus, they missed out on any road trips this summer due to mommy's financial status. They are totally excited about it too. All I need is gas money there and back basically. I know how to travel cheap! I can cook meals and we can drive around and sightsee and little bit for free. Then later, when it's warmer, I can take them back there with more money and really make a time of it.
Yes, yes...I am excited about seeing my punkin again. I got spoiled when he was home for a week and a half! I basically saw him everyday! I LOVED IT!!! To think this way, I will have 3 nights to sleep with him and wake up to him...heaven!!!
Alright, time for dinner...but I will have a fabulous update for you Wednesday!
edited to add:
Your Romance Tip:
Buy a small cardboard gift box , a sheet of colored tissue paper, massage oil, and a blank card.
Line the box with the paper, place the oil in the box and write this on the card:
I know a great masseur.
For an appointment anytime, call:
(Your Phone Number goes here)
In other news:
I am getting uber-excited about our trip to Memphis this weekend...me and the kids that is! This upcoming weekend is Martin Luther King Jr Memorial Holiday, so what better time than a 3day weekend to go? And, by taking my bunch with me...I completely bypass the whole issue of babysitting! Plus, they missed out on any road trips this summer due to mommy's financial status. They are totally excited about it too. All I need is gas money there and back basically. I know how to travel cheap! I can cook meals and we can drive around and sightsee and little bit for free. Then later, when it's warmer, I can take them back there with more money and really make a time of it.
Yes, yes...I am excited about seeing my punkin again. I got spoiled when he was home for a week and a half! I basically saw him everyday! I LOVED IT!!! To think this way, I will have 3 nights to sleep with him and wake up to him...heaven!!!
Alright, time for dinner...but I will have a fabulous update for you Wednesday!
edited to add:
Your Romance Tip:
Buy a small cardboard gift box , a sheet of colored tissue paper, massage oil, and a blank card.
Line the box with the paper, place the oil in the box and write this on the card:
I know a great masseur.
For an appointment anytime, call:
(Your Phone Number goes here)
November 21, 2008
The Belle of the Ball
That’s right! SoloMommy was a grown woman for a change, and not just someone’s mommy or taxi driver!
Well, since it was held in Memphis, I was faced with the usual dilemma: babysitting! I thought I had it solved when Aggie volunteered her services…provided she could off the schedule at work. Unfortunately she works at a hotel and weekends are part of the deal. This particular weekend was a no-go. So back to the drawing board, but I was adamant about NOT asking Leigh to do it! After the restrictions last visit, it was just too much. So, I came up with a brilliant plan. DJ was to go with his paternal grandparents, Bruzer was going to stay with my mom, and the girls were going to stay w/ my sister The Officer. I don’t usually ask her, but I figured that would be fine since her girls are the same age and they could keep each other company.
YAY!!! It worked! I was able to leave on Friday and didn’t feel rushed to get back on Sunday! WooHoo! So on to the evening:
My Punkin was in San Diego last week, and was scheduled to arrive at 1140P. I volunteered to pick him up from the airport, so I was determined to be on the road by 7p. I made good time, and just as I was pulling into the cell phone lot at the airport, he called. We headed to his place to get settled in. The next day he had to go to rehearsal for the event. Meanwhile I had to go search for shoes, since I had none to match. When I got back, I started getting ready, and he came in shortly afterward. We kinda took it easy for a while, then started getting dressed. It was that ‘time of the month’, so no s-e-x was going on that weekend. Sucks, I know!!
We got to the event and had a great time. We took a couple of snapshots at the house, then we took formal pictures at the event. He took a separate one by himself, then we took a photo together. It was a nice ceremony and dinner as well. I ate my very first medium rare steak! It was bleu cheese and black pepper topped…very, very good! After the event, everyone went downtown to Beale Street to a club to hang out. A couple of people changed clothes before they came out but most stayed in their formal attire. We really had a great time.
We got home about 130a and he cooked some mussels for us and we played a TV game. Then we finally went to bed around 3a. We woke up around 7a and just kind of laid in bed watching TV and enjoying each other’s company. It was such a nice weekend, we are already planning my next visit…hopefully Aggie can watch them this time, since it will be so soon!
Well, since it was held in Memphis, I was faced with the usual dilemma: babysitting! I thought I had it solved when Aggie volunteered her services…provided she could off the schedule at work. Unfortunately she works at a hotel and weekends are part of the deal. This particular weekend was a no-go. So back to the drawing board, but I was adamant about NOT asking Leigh to do it! After the restrictions last visit, it was just too much. So, I came up with a brilliant plan. DJ was to go with his paternal grandparents, Bruzer was going to stay with my mom, and the girls were going to stay w/ my sister The Officer. I don’t usually ask her, but I figured that would be fine since her girls are the same age and they could keep each other company.
YAY!!! It worked! I was able to leave on Friday and didn’t feel rushed to get back on Sunday! WooHoo! So on to the evening:
My Punkin was in San Diego last week, and was scheduled to arrive at 1140P. I volunteered to pick him up from the airport, so I was determined to be on the road by 7p. I made good time, and just as I was pulling into the cell phone lot at the airport, he called. We headed to his place to get settled in. The next day he had to go to rehearsal for the event. Meanwhile I had to go search for shoes, since I had none to match. When I got back, I started getting ready, and he came in shortly afterward. We kinda took it easy for a while, then started getting dressed. It was that ‘time of the month’, so no s-e-x was going on that weekend. Sucks, I know!!
We got to the event and had a great time. We took a couple of snapshots at the house, then we took formal pictures at the event. He took a separate one by himself, then we took a photo together. It was a nice ceremony and dinner as well. I ate my very first medium rare steak! It was bleu cheese and black pepper topped…very, very good! After the event, everyone went downtown to Beale Street to a club to hang out. A couple of people changed clothes before they came out but most stayed in their formal attire. We really had a great time.
We got home about 130a and he cooked some mussels for us and we played a TV game. Then we finally went to bed around 3a. We woke up around 7a and just kind of laid in bed watching TV and enjoying each other’s company. It was such a nice weekend, we are already planning my next visit…hopefully Aggie can watch them this time, since it will be so soon!
September 10, 2008
The Memphis Weekend in Review
I am back from my trip...and sore as hell too! My back hurts to the touch (there was a barstool - and that's all I have to say about that one), not to mention most of the muscles from my shoulders to abs to thighs to calves are sore.
Wait! Don't get me wrong. I am certainly NOT complaining!! Not with this huge Smiley-X (ref Jack Nicholson's Joker) smile on my face!
We had a good time this weekend. We enjoyed each other's company. We played a few rounds of Scene-It (we're both major movie buffs). I cooked for him and spoiled him like I always do. He even had to leave a few times to hit the office because it was his weekend to be "on call" - complete with the BatPhone, as I called it! He told me as he pointed to the phone: "This phone has to be answered when it rings. No matter what's going on, no matter what we're doing. I have to stop and answer this phone." We both jumped a couple of times when it was ringing, but all was well.
Now, in between all that other excitement, there was lots and lots of sex to be had! We were both actually tired of that three letter word by the time I left on Sunday afternoon! Monday morning was a different story though! :-) All I looked forward to when I got home was a good old-fashioned soak in the tub with some Epsom salts for my aching muscles! If it wasn't for a shame, I could have used a sitz bath too for another part! LOL
We also had a very good talk while I was there. There were a lot of issues that I have been dealing with and things I wanted to say but were erroneously afraid to. I felt I was ready to ask if we had a viable shot at a relationship at some point. So I did. I was ready to point out any concerns about the ready-made family that comes with me in the package. So I did. I felt I was ready to ask about any concerns he had about me getting the reversal surgery and it not working. So I did. I wanted to know what happens after his divorce is final in a few months. You know, will he want to play the field to officially celebrate his "freedom"? Or, would he be ready to commit to another relationship at that point? So I asked those questions. I liked the brutally honest answers I got. I do not feel at any point that I was told what he thought I wanted to hear. Because truly more than anything else, I want the truth to best of his ability...and he knows that.
I was finally not afraid to express my true feelings for him. I have been so concerned about "being there by myself", that I wouldn't even admit to myself that I love him. Others close to me can see it though...including Wayne, who told me that about a month ago. Dante told me he's been wondering why I haven't said anything in all this time, because he remembers me saying I am typically 'quick to fall'. I told him partly because I trying to be hard and partly because I was afraid of loving someone who didn't love me back. His response to that, you ask? "I never said I didn't love you."
Didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I! It was a pleasant surprise though, that's for sure. Now, what has changed since that, you wonder? Nothing. We don't end conversations with I love you or anything like that. The relationship still is not at that stage I don't believe. What this talk did was answer (a little more than I expected) the burning question for me whether Dante and I really have a good chance at a long-term relationship. I am happy to report that the answer there is yes! Time and some effort will take it further at a later point.
So, short-but-sweet and very productive weekend I just had. I was a little miffed driving home, because my sister called to see what time I had left and what time I should arrive. That made me decide that I will find alternative sources of babysitting, and that we will do more halfway point trips as well. We're committed to giving it a shot, and that's all any of us really ask for isn't it?
p.s. I have also decided to withdraw from the one-night-a-week-for-four-hours classes at Lindenwood, and get things on track at Park University to complete my online degree as originally planned. If a weekend in 8 months time is an issue, I can't see the once a week thing going over too readily either!
Wait! Don't get me wrong. I am certainly NOT complaining!! Not with this huge Smiley-X (ref Jack Nicholson's Joker) smile on my face!
We had a good time this weekend. We enjoyed each other's company. We played a few rounds of Scene-It (we're both major movie buffs). I cooked for him and spoiled him like I always do. He even had to leave a few times to hit the office because it was his weekend to be "on call" - complete with the BatPhone, as I called it! He told me as he pointed to the phone: "This phone has to be answered when it rings. No matter what's going on, no matter what we're doing. I have to stop and answer this phone." We both jumped a couple of times when it was ringing, but all was well.
Now, in between all that other excitement, there was lots and lots of sex to be had! We were both actually tired of that three letter word by the time I left on Sunday afternoon! Monday morning was a different story though! :-) All I looked forward to when I got home was a good old-fashioned soak in the tub with some Epsom salts for my aching muscles! If it wasn't for a shame, I could have used a sitz bath too for another part! LOL
We also had a very good talk while I was there. There were a lot of issues that I have been dealing with and things I wanted to say but were erroneously afraid to. I felt I was ready to ask if we had a viable shot at a relationship at some point. So I did. I was ready to point out any concerns about the ready-made family that comes with me in the package. So I did. I felt I was ready to ask about any concerns he had about me getting the reversal surgery and it not working. So I did. I wanted to know what happens after his divorce is final in a few months. You know, will he want to play the field to officially celebrate his "freedom"? Or, would he be ready to commit to another relationship at that point? So I asked those questions. I liked the brutally honest answers I got. I do not feel at any point that I was told what he thought I wanted to hear. Because truly more than anything else, I want the truth to best of his ability...and he knows that.
I was finally not afraid to express my true feelings for him. I have been so concerned about "being there by myself", that I wouldn't even admit to myself that I love him. Others close to me can see it though...including Wayne, who told me that about a month ago. Dante told me he's been wondering why I haven't said anything in all this time, because he remembers me saying I am typically 'quick to fall'. I told him partly because I trying to be hard and partly because I was afraid of loving someone who didn't love me back. His response to that, you ask? "I never said I didn't love you."
Didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I! It was a pleasant surprise though, that's for sure. Now, what has changed since that, you wonder? Nothing. We don't end conversations with I love you or anything like that. The relationship still is not at that stage I don't believe. What this talk did was answer (a little more than I expected) the burning question for me whether Dante and I really have a good chance at a long-term relationship. I am happy to report that the answer there is yes! Time and some effort will take it further at a later point.
So, short-but-sweet and very productive weekend I just had. I was a little miffed driving home, because my sister called to see what time I had left and what time I should arrive. That made me decide that I will find alternative sources of babysitting, and that we will do more halfway point trips as well. We're committed to giving it a shot, and that's all any of us really ask for isn't it?
p.s. I have also decided to withdraw from the one-night-a-week-for-four-hours classes at Lindenwood, and get things on track at Park University to complete my online degree as originally planned. If a weekend in 8 months time is an issue, I can't see the once a week thing going over too readily either!
September 4, 2008
Going to see my Punkin!!
It was a bit touch and go...but I am going to see my sweetie this weekend!!
Touch and go is code word for babysitting issues, as usual! Shocking, I know!
I asked my sister Leigh on Sunday, and explained to her that it was a big deal for me to go to Memphis. I haven't been down there since the last time I wrote about in what -January??!?! So you'd think watching my kids for a weekend would be no big deal considering you watched our other sister's kids for a whole week, right?
WRONG!
Same drama, different month. What I wanted to do was leave at about 12noon on Friday, and be there when he got home from work. Makes it a little hard though, when I am the designated children-picker-upper though! Then my sister tells me she'll babysit, but she doesn't want to give up her whole weekend. So as a compromise, I agreed to just leave early Saturday morning, and be back by about 6p on Sunday.
Do you know how pissed off and highly annoyed I am?? Yeah, yeah I know as some have said : She could have said no altogether. But let me explain this to you: Pretty much whenever my kids spend the night at my sister's house, I am there bright and early the next morning to retrieve them. I do that usually because I am made to feel that way. That's just for a quick overnight thing. I had my kids in Y camp all summer long. I didn't just assume that because she was off the summer, she would babysit them and I would just pay her something. I could have put her name on the CHASI as child care giver so she could have made that money. No, because sometimes it's about more than money. But I feel like, because my other sister over-burdened her the summer with her girls...then finished off the summer right before school started with a full-weeks vacation to Key West without her kids, I have to pay for that now.
Some parts of me are not as pissed as I am hurt, because I really shared with her that I want to put forth the effort to spend more time together, so that we can see if we have a viable option at a strong relationship. I think we do - even with some of the obvious obstacles - and so does he, but we are ready to delve a little further, perhaps moving past seeing each other once a month.
I am still going, almost nothing could keep me from that. We both need the time. There's some stuff I want to talk about, and really, I just can't wait for us to be in that space together again.
What I will say though, is I would rather just take my kids with me when I go, than to worry about them being such an inconvenience to someone else for a couple of days. I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
Touch and go is code word for babysitting issues, as usual! Shocking, I know!
I asked my sister Leigh on Sunday, and explained to her that it was a big deal for me to go to Memphis. I haven't been down there since the last time I wrote about in what -January??!?! So you'd think watching my kids for a weekend would be no big deal considering you watched our other sister's kids for a whole week, right?
WRONG!
Same drama, different month. What I wanted to do was leave at about 12noon on Friday, and be there when he got home from work. Makes it a little hard though, when I am the designated children-picker-upper though! Then my sister tells me she'll babysit, but she doesn't want to give up her whole weekend. So as a compromise, I agreed to just leave early Saturday morning, and be back by about 6p on Sunday.
Do you know how pissed off and highly annoyed I am?? Yeah, yeah I know as some have said : She could have said no altogether. But let me explain this to you: Pretty much whenever my kids spend the night at my sister's house, I am there bright and early the next morning to retrieve them. I do that usually because I am made to feel that way. That's just for a quick overnight thing. I had my kids in Y camp all summer long. I didn't just assume that because she was off the summer, she would babysit them and I would just pay her something. I could have put her name on the CHASI as child care giver so she could have made that money. No, because sometimes it's about more than money. But I feel like, because my other sister over-burdened her the summer with her girls...then finished off the summer right before school started with a full-weeks vacation to Key West without her kids, I have to pay for that now.
Some parts of me are not as pissed as I am hurt, because I really shared with her that I want to put forth the effort to spend more time together, so that we can see if we have a viable option at a strong relationship. I think we do - even with some of the obvious obstacles - and so does he, but we are ready to delve a little further, perhaps moving past seeing each other once a month.
I am still going, almost nothing could keep me from that. We both need the time. There's some stuff I want to talk about, and really, I just can't wait for us to be in that space together again.
What I will say though, is I would rather just take my kids with me when I go, than to worry about them being such an inconvenience to someone else for a couple of days. I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
February 1, 2008
Today is the Day
Well, it snowed pretty good here. I am glad I took the day off for sure!
I got out there this morning and shoveled the back walk area so me and my neighbors could both get to the basement. If you remember, my basement is accessible only through an outside door. It's not as bad as you may think, even in this weather I don't even wear a coat to down there. Then a little later, my neighbor and her oldest son shoveled the front walkway.
I started my laundry, since I am down to no underwear! Yeah, I said it! I'm wearing the last pair right now!! But I tell this much, my kids have clean underwear in their drawers...and that's where my first priority lies! I then went and shoveled around the van and cleaned her (my van) off. I still need to get the fuel system cleaned before I get on the road.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that! I went to the doctor the other day because my throat was so bad, I couldn't eat or drink cause it hurt to swallow. Of course the next day it was feeling better - and I hadn't even got the meds yet!!! TOLD YOU SO!!!!
After the doctor appointment, I went to Valvoline and got my oil changed since I had an awesome $15 off coupon! I got the high-mileage synthetic blend, which means I can go 4000 miles. She does have 119,000 miles on her, and I plan to keep her for another couple of years, so I gotta take care of her! I was worried but fuel efficiency was lagging and so was her get-up-and-go, thought it was time for a tune-up (which are not cheap). Turns out, according to very helpful and hands-on (the van, of course) guy at Valvoline, I need my fuel system cleaned. He showed it to me and explained it to me. He even asked me, if my van was having a bit of hesitation going up hills and stuff...so I don't feel like I'm getting hosed! That's about $75, as opposed to near $200 for a BASIC tune-up. I told my mom about it, and she said she was going to go check them out before she spends almost $400 on a tuneup for her '97 Chrysler Town and Country! I pray that works for her also.
So, I am getting the kids ready while my clothes are washing and drying. Then I'm gonna jump in the shower and also wash my hair while I'm in there. It's going on one o'clock now, and I would like to be on the road by about 4 or 5 this afternoon. My bff told me this morning that she has a 'bad feeling' about me going, and she just wanted to go on record as saying such. My family has been freaking out because of the weather and telling me of course maybe I should postpone and all that. But, that's why I am waiting, cause I want there to be plenty of time for them to get the roads cleared, plowed and well-salted. Once I get out of Missouri, there's nothing...and I will be very careful. I PROMISE!!
Why am I still going? Not because I am so desperate to see Dante. Not because I can't wait to get away from my children. But because I am tired of always settling for disappointment because obstacles get in the way. I have really been looking forward to this trip, and usually when I plan (and look forward to) something in advance it always falls through! (Remember my birthday?) Enough with that life! I have to make decisions for myself (as -ironically- my bff was just talking about doing in her life in that same conversation). Because honestly, if it's a bad decision I would have noone to blame or fault but myself, instead of wishing or regretting not following my own mind. My mind is telling me to be cautious and careful on the roads, don't rush, and make sure the car is highway worthy. That's what I'm listening to.
I'll let you know how WONDERFULLY things went when I get back.
I got out there this morning and shoveled the back walk area so me and my neighbors could both get to the basement. If you remember, my basement is accessible only through an outside door. It's not as bad as you may think, even in this weather I don't even wear a coat to down there. Then a little later, my neighbor and her oldest son shoveled the front walkway.
I started my laundry, since I am down to no underwear! Yeah, I said it! I'm wearing the last pair right now!! But I tell this much, my kids have clean underwear in their drawers...and that's where my first priority lies! I then went and shoveled around the van and cleaned her (my van) off. I still need to get the fuel system cleaned before I get on the road.
Oh yes, I forgot to mention that! I went to the doctor the other day because my throat was so bad, I couldn't eat or drink cause it hurt to swallow. Of course the next day it was feeling better - and I hadn't even got the meds yet!!! TOLD YOU SO!!!!
After the doctor appointment, I went to Valvoline and got my oil changed since I had an awesome $15 off coupon! I got the high-mileage synthetic blend, which means I can go 4000 miles. She does have 119,000 miles on her, and I plan to keep her for another couple of years, so I gotta take care of her! I was worried but fuel efficiency was lagging and so was her get-up-and-go, thought it was time for a tune-up (which are not cheap). Turns out, according to very helpful and hands-on (the van, of course) guy at Valvoline, I need my fuel system cleaned. He showed it to me and explained it to me. He even asked me, if my van was having a bit of hesitation going up hills and stuff...so I don't feel like I'm getting hosed! That's about $75, as opposed to near $200 for a BASIC tune-up. I told my mom about it, and she said she was going to go check them out before she spends almost $400 on a tuneup for her '97 Chrysler Town and Country! I pray that works for her also.
So, I am getting the kids ready while my clothes are washing and drying. Then I'm gonna jump in the shower and also wash my hair while I'm in there. It's going on one o'clock now, and I would like to be on the road by about 4 or 5 this afternoon. My bff told me this morning that she has a 'bad feeling' about me going, and she just wanted to go on record as saying such. My family has been freaking out because of the weather and telling me of course maybe I should postpone and all that. But, that's why I am waiting, cause I want there to be plenty of time for them to get the roads cleared, plowed and well-salted. Once I get out of Missouri, there's nothing...and I will be very careful. I PROMISE!!
Why am I still going? Not because I am so desperate to see Dante. Not because I can't wait to get away from my children. But because I am tired of always settling for disappointment because obstacles get in the way. I have really been looking forward to this trip, and usually when I plan (and look forward to) something in advance it always falls through! (Remember my birthday?) Enough with that life! I have to make decisions for myself (as -ironically- my bff was just talking about doing in her life in that same conversation). Because honestly, if it's a bad decision I would have noone to blame or fault but myself, instead of wishing or regretting not following my own mind. My mind is telling me to be cautious and careful on the roads, don't rush, and make sure the car is highway worthy. That's what I'm listening to.
I'll let you know how WONDERFULLY things went when I get back.
January 30, 2008
T Minus 48 Hours
48 hours from now, I will be blissfully lying with man I adore! I am so excited!! (I know, you couldn't really tell)
Okay, okay...we may not be actually lying down in 48 hours, if you just wanted to be technical about it! But, you get the general idea!
We had a great chat this evening. I had some stuff I needed to get cleared up, and perhaps since I said something, he wanted it cleared up too. It wasn't anything bad at all. I am very glad we discussed it. I can't say it means we 'going steady' or anything corny like that. We are adults, we are friends, and we like each other a whole lot. Noone is yet at a point to throw in the other L-word, and that is okay with the both of us. There is no pressure and no rush to be anything more than what we are right now.
What are we? "We" don't have a pre-conceived category, such as dating, or boyfriend-girlfriend, or 'just a fling'. We just are. He's my Punkin, and I'm his Sweetie. And that works for us. Talking today, in my opinion, reconfirmed that pressure-free state of our relationship. I did make it clear that I am only interested in him at this point, and am not trying to see anyone else. He stated the same. HOWEVER, in the interest of not ignoring the elephant in the living room, we covered what may happen if he met someone there in Tennessee. So we're good there too.
No, of course I wouldn't like it. How crazy do you think I am? But, I want Dante happy, and if that means forgoing my own selfish desires so he doesn't have to be alone in Memphis, then I'll deal with it. WE will deal with it. Perish the thought, but this is the real world too. That was a relief of sorts for both of us too!
I also wanted to tell him something, since the wanting children had been looming so prevalently in my head from the beginning. Neither of us expected to really dig each other this much, that's for darn sure. It was expected for both of us to be a 'thing'. You know, just something (or someone) to do when he comes into town to visit family, and we chat and talk in the interim. Especially since my tubes are tied and he wants to have the whole experience someday, that was always a barrier or ceiling for how far we could go. So I was able to let him know that I am in no way against the idea of having more children, and I am willing to get surgically "unaltered" to do so. IF we should ever get to that point where we want to take this further, I didn't want that to be the thing that kept us from "doing the damn thang".
I am starting to feel better about the trip. I am going to leave early on Friday, and my sisters will pick up the kids. Then I will leave Memphis on Sunday at about 1p at the latest, so I can give my sister some time to recoup before starting the week over again. I will be buying some groceries to send with them, and I want to get her some kind of treat as well. For the kids, this time when I come back, I plan to have something for them...even if it's just keychains that say Memphis. I even talked to Dante about bringing the kids that way in April or May for a weekend. We would likely just skip school that day, and leave early that Friday (or leave Saturday, and stay over til Monday). I have discount certificates with Marriott properties, so the room would be about $50/night. It will be doable, we just have to work out the kinks as far as how to get a little "us" time!
In other news, I have filed my state and federal taxes elcetronically...and I'm just waiting on the deposits. What's funny is I was supposed to mail my Illinois state taxes for 2006, and never did! They owe me a refund of almost $200! So I will be mailing that one, as soon as I find the other W-2 that was with it. So the road to breathing easier is straight ahead. Main goals are getting another desktop computer, and catching up bills. Want to incorporate to help get towards my work-at-home goal...but we'll see what's in store for me there.
Stay tuned tomorrow for more Countdown Chronicles!!!!
Okay, okay...we may not be actually lying down in 48 hours, if you just wanted to be technical about it! But, you get the general idea!
We had a great chat this evening. I had some stuff I needed to get cleared up, and perhaps since I said something, he wanted it cleared up too. It wasn't anything bad at all. I am very glad we discussed it. I can't say it means we 'going steady' or anything corny like that. We are adults, we are friends, and we like each other a whole lot. Noone is yet at a point to throw in the other L-word, and that is okay with the both of us. There is no pressure and no rush to be anything more than what we are right now.
What are we? "We" don't have a pre-conceived category, such as dating, or boyfriend-girlfriend, or 'just a fling'. We just are. He's my Punkin, and I'm his Sweetie. And that works for us. Talking today, in my opinion, reconfirmed that pressure-free state of our relationship. I did make it clear that I am only interested in him at this point, and am not trying to see anyone else. He stated the same. HOWEVER, in the interest of not ignoring the elephant in the living room, we covered what may happen if he met someone there in Tennessee. So we're good there too.
No, of course I wouldn't like it. How crazy do you think I am? But, I want Dante happy, and if that means forgoing my own selfish desires so he doesn't have to be alone in Memphis, then I'll deal with it. WE will deal with it. Perish the thought, but this is the real world too. That was a relief of sorts for both of us too!
I also wanted to tell him something, since the wanting children had been looming so prevalently in my head from the beginning. Neither of us expected to really dig each other this much, that's for darn sure. It was expected for both of us to be a 'thing'. You know, just something (or someone) to do when he comes into town to visit family, and we chat and talk in the interim. Especially since my tubes are tied and he wants to have the whole experience someday, that was always a barrier or ceiling for how far we could go. So I was able to let him know that I am in no way against the idea of having more children, and I am willing to get surgically "unaltered" to do so. IF we should ever get to that point where we want to take this further, I didn't want that to be the thing that kept us from "doing the damn thang".
I am starting to feel better about the trip. I am going to leave early on Friday, and my sisters will pick up the kids. Then I will leave Memphis on Sunday at about 1p at the latest, so I can give my sister some time to recoup before starting the week over again. I will be buying some groceries to send with them, and I want to get her some kind of treat as well. For the kids, this time when I come back, I plan to have something for them...even if it's just keychains that say Memphis. I even talked to Dante about bringing the kids that way in April or May for a weekend. We would likely just skip school that day, and leave early that Friday (or leave Saturday, and stay over til Monday). I have discount certificates with Marriott properties, so the room would be about $50/night. It will be doable, we just have to work out the kinks as far as how to get a little "us" time!
In other news, I have filed my state and federal taxes elcetronically...and I'm just waiting on the deposits. What's funny is I was supposed to mail my Illinois state taxes for 2006, and never did! They owe me a refund of almost $200! So I will be mailing that one, as soon as I find the other W-2 that was with it. So the road to breathing easier is straight ahead. Main goals are getting another desktop computer, and catching up bills. Want to incorporate to help get towards my work-at-home goal...but we'll see what's in store for me there.
Stay tuned tomorrow for more Countdown Chronicles!!!!
January 29, 2008
The Countdown Begins!
Yes!!!! I am going to see my sweetie this weekend!!! I am so excited! I miss him terribly!
This excitement is mixed with guilt, of course.
Yes, Leigh is babysitting the kids again for me. Yes, she has made me feel it is interfering with her life to do so. Perhaps not intentionally, but nonetheless I got the message.
A few weeks back, both Leigh and my mom got on my case about saying I had four children as if it were some horrible thing. I corrected them by saying it is far from horrible, but I am aware of its impact in other people's lives. I don't go to the beauty salon, or the nail shop, or out to any kind of clubs because I am not big on asking people to watch my children. Until Dante came along, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking someone to watch them for an entire weekend so I could go out of town! Heck, remember how much of a hard time I had with it the first time I went?
That level of anxiety is back again. By the time I got off the phone with my sister today, I was easily overcome with guilt. I am sure she didn't do it on purpose, but the seed has been planted. She asked if I could leave on Saturday, and that would give her time to herself Friday night, since she had a bad week. I understand bad weeks and all, but it's only TUESDAY for pete's sake!
I told her I had taken Friday off so that I could actually leave early that day. I suggested -very sheepishly at this point- that I would like for her to pick up the kids from school that day also. She said okay, and then asked that when I plan my another trip, if I could plan to leave Saturday, so she could have her Friday to unwind.
Seriously, I feel like I'm over the barrel here. I am indebted to her for agreeing to watch them in the first place, but leave Saturday to drive 4 hours and then come back the next afternoon??? Are you freaking kidding me!?!?!! 8 hours total driving time for a 24hour visit. Why would that even sound logical to anyone??? Granted, Dante is worth it to me at this point, don't get it twisted. But, it's hard enough leaving him after 2 days! How the hell am I going to manage 1???
Please don't me wrong. I am most definitely going. I HAVE to see him. I NEED to see him. I am ADDICTED to him. I don't mean that just physically, I am really getting attached to him! But that's another post.
This excitement is mixed with guilt, of course.
Yes, Leigh is babysitting the kids again for me. Yes, she has made me feel it is interfering with her life to do so. Perhaps not intentionally, but nonetheless I got the message.
A few weeks back, both Leigh and my mom got on my case about saying I had four children as if it were some horrible thing. I corrected them by saying it is far from horrible, but I am aware of its impact in other people's lives. I don't go to the beauty salon, or the nail shop, or out to any kind of clubs because I am not big on asking people to watch my children. Until Dante came along, I wouldn't have dreamed of asking someone to watch them for an entire weekend so I could go out of town! Heck, remember how much of a hard time I had with it the first time I went?
That level of anxiety is back again. By the time I got off the phone with my sister today, I was easily overcome with guilt. I am sure she didn't do it on purpose, but the seed has been planted. She asked if I could leave on Saturday, and that would give her time to herself Friday night, since she had a bad week. I understand bad weeks and all, but it's only TUESDAY for pete's sake!
I told her I had taken Friday off so that I could actually leave early that day. I suggested -very sheepishly at this point- that I would like for her to pick up the kids from school that day also. She said okay, and then asked that when I plan my another trip, if I could plan to leave Saturday, so she could have her Friday to unwind.
Seriously, I feel like I'm over the barrel here. I am indebted to her for agreeing to watch them in the first place, but leave Saturday to drive 4 hours and then come back the next afternoon??? Are you freaking kidding me!?!?!! 8 hours total driving time for a 24hour visit. Why would that even sound logical to anyone??? Granted, Dante is worth it to me at this point, don't get it twisted. But, it's hard enough leaving him after 2 days! How the hell am I going to manage 1???
Please don't me wrong. I am most definitely going. I HAVE to see him. I NEED to see him. I am ADDICTED to him. I don't mean that just physically, I am really getting attached to him! But that's another post.
January 13, 2008
The Weekend in Review
I did just about nothing this weekend. I watched movies that I already owned. I borrowed "Night at the Museum" from my sister for us to watch. That movie is really funny, and really cute. I have been a bit challenged on the financial end this week, so therefore we pretty much stayed inside. Okay not pretty much, we did. I didn't even go to the front porch to get the mail. DJ left on Saturday to be with his dad though. Since Joe is laid off from work, it's not like he has much else to do!
My punkin was in the field this weekend, left on Friday evening, and got back today. I hate not talking to him daily, but I absolutely survived! I guess it's not so bad as long as I know where he is. I got to talk to him for about an hour on Friday evening. We didn't talk long today, but he did call me to let me know he was out of the field, so I am content. I still don't know about going down there the weekend of the 25th, cause I think that's going to be my 'time of the month'. He was so sweet to say that even if it was he still wants to come down there, cause the physical stuff is not the only thing he likes me for. He wanted to make sure I wasn't thinking that, and I wasn't. But I know how the two of us are and, after not seeing each other in several weeks, it's gonna be hard to control ourselves. We really do match up well in the physical arena! REALLY well!
So, anywho, I guess we will see about the trip. Cause, you know there is the issue of babysitting as always. There is also the issue of will I have any moolah to travel with? Yeah, that story is getting so old. Being financially strapped is so last year!!
It's coming though, that magical time of the year that should get me completely back on track financially! Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It's almost Tax Time!!!!! No no no...no rapid refunds or anything like that this year! I am filing directly to the IRS to have my funds directly deposited into my bank account. (takes about 2 weeks tops) I am just praying and believing for a great return this year!
The next couple of days, I would like to get personal with you. I want to talk about the major relationships in my life. I made it through them, so I am stronger, that I can tell you now. I think you will find the reading interesting, since I know for me the writing will be very therapeutic (like when I wrote about my father). Stay tuned...
My punkin was in the field this weekend, left on Friday evening, and got back today. I hate not talking to him daily, but I absolutely survived! I guess it's not so bad as long as I know where he is. I got to talk to him for about an hour on Friday evening. We didn't talk long today, but he did call me to let me know he was out of the field, so I am content. I still don't know about going down there the weekend of the 25th, cause I think that's going to be my 'time of the month'. He was so sweet to say that even if it was he still wants to come down there, cause the physical stuff is not the only thing he likes me for. He wanted to make sure I wasn't thinking that, and I wasn't. But I know how the two of us are and, after not seeing each other in several weeks, it's gonna be hard to control ourselves. We really do match up well in the physical arena! REALLY well!
So, anywho, I guess we will see about the trip. Cause, you know there is the issue of babysitting as always. There is also the issue of will I have any moolah to travel with? Yeah, that story is getting so old. Being financially strapped is so last year!!
It's coming though, that magical time of the year that should get me completely back on track financially! Yes, ladies and gentlemen! It's almost Tax Time!!!!! No no no...no rapid refunds or anything like that this year! I am filing directly to the IRS to have my funds directly deposited into my bank account. (takes about 2 weeks tops) I am just praying and believing for a great return this year!
The next couple of days, I would like to get personal with you. I want to talk about the major relationships in my life. I made it through them, so I am stronger, that I can tell you now. I think you will find the reading interesting, since I know for me the writing will be very therapeutic (like when I wrote about my father). Stay tuned...
December 17, 2007
The Weekend in Review
Large, dreamy sigh!
Okay, here we go. After all the running and things on Friday, we still didn't hit the highway til about 7p. Got right outside of Arnold - on 55South - and ran into a 4-lane clogging accident! We moved about 2 miles in about an hour! From the vehicles we saw (fire trucks, state police cars, and a few ambulances) we guessed it must have been pretty serious. However, when the traffic finally opened up, we saw absolutely nothing to make us even think there had been an accident!
We got to Kween's father's house at about 1230a. Their phone was not working properly and she didn't have the cell phone number, so we - correction I - just had to knock until someone answered. Thank goodness they answered, cause Dante didn't! He obviously fell asleep, cause I called a gajillion times to no avail. It was almost becoming comical, except for the fact that it was going on 130a...and these people needed to get back to bed! So I looked on Kween's phone internet and got directions from one house to the the next. But, OMG, her stepmother Jackie got in her car and drove me all the way to the apartment complex! Just in time for Dante to call, of course! He is so sweet! Just twenty million apologies, but I knew what happened to him. It was late after all. We were the only idots driving around at that time of night! Normal people were home in bed!
So both his plan and my plan for Friday night was scratched. He wanted to take me to some club and get some drinks and dance a bit. Well, after a certain hour I knew that wasn't gonna happen, so I went back to my original idea. I brought my silver trenchcoat and a pair of black boots.
You are correct. That was ALL I was gonna wear as I greeted him at his door! Another time perhaps...
Anyway, after a good long hug and kiss (okay, several kisses), he ran me a bath and told me to go relax. It was so hot, I sweated my hair out! But it felt so good! I don't take baths at home you see. I don't really have the time. By the time I do have the time, I would never get clean, cause I would fall asleep in the tub!! So, I am basically a shower girl. Single mom, 4 kids. Seriously, what did you expect?
Back to the topic. I got out of the tub, dried off, then was instructed to lay on the bed. I got a complete rubdown with lavender baby oil gel, then a mini-massage with this three-pronged handheld thingy that came in really handy a day later! And then....
Puh-leeze, you know what happened next! You know what happened several more times that weekend! So, fast forward to the morning. Okay, fast forward a little more to when we actually got out of the bed! We got up and threw on some clothes then headed to the grocery store so I could shop for breakfast. I made some oven-baked french toast with a brown sugar glaze. I garnished with toasted slivered almonds and bananas cut on the bias, then served with some turkey bacon I pan-fried (til crisp of course, that's the secret). He absolutely loved it! Dante's not really big on fried eggs. That's something he and Starr have in common actually, she doesn't even like them with cheese anymore. But both of them can eat them boiled, just not scrambled and fried. He made tequila sunrise drinks to go with breakfast, and the spoiling began!
One thing to know about me is I find joy in serving. My children and my man, that is...not just anybody! He finished his food before me, and I asked if he wanted seconds. So, I sat my unfinished plate down and went to make him another plate. He tried to protest, but I shut him down. So from that point on, I took care of everything I could. I washed the dishes, did any cooking or serving of foods, and kept the tequila sunrises flowing until I left! He loved it, which I am glad. It would suck to live totally by myself. So I really think he enjoyed me being there to do that for him.
We went to see I Am Legend on Saturday, and went to an Italian restaurant to eat afterwards. I told him to pick someplace he has wanted to go, and so he did. I found out he is weak over lasagna. And that Talayna's in St. Louis has the best lasagna to him. The movie, by the way, was very awesome...one of Will Smith's top performances.
The rest of the weekend was spent lounging around the apartment, just watching movies and being in each other's presence. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, I fell asleep several times on the couch, which pleased him. He said it was nice to see me so relaxed, which I truly was. Me? Take a nap at home? With the kids here? You wanna talk about hypertension, let me try to take a nap during the day, and my blood pressure is going up!
Oh, and lest I forget Saturday night. Got reacquainted with my friend, Tequila Blanco! Our love-hate relationship is still intact after all these years. I drank about 5 shots in a row, not to forget I had a cocktail at dinner, and had been sipping on tequila sunrises all day. Let me be frank with you on my condition: I got drunk off my ass! Do you hear me? Completely F-cked Up! And you know what? It felt goooooood! Yep, I said it! It's not like it's anything that will be happening again in the remotely near future, but dammit I had fun! Even when the barf-fest began and I had to clean up the wall in the bathroom, and wash the rugs that were on the floor. I had fun! I passed out on the bed, and the next thing I know it was 4am...and someone was "rolling me over"!
Remember that slow leak I told you about? Yeah well, by Sunday, it was flat. Of course this was the exact moment I was ready to leave that I noticed this. We went up to Auto Zone and got Fix-A-Flat, which has NEVER worked for me by the way. Okay, now we've got to change to the spare, which I was really trying to avoid. (Note to self: find your damn hydraulic jack! What use is it if it's not in the van when you need it?) Well, by we, I mean he did most of the work! But, it was a team effort! You know I can't do the damsel-in-distress thing that well! So Kween and I made it home on cruise control at 70mph. There were a lot of other vehicles passing me, including the big rigs! That burns me up, but we made it home safely...and that's what matters. She was off today, so I was at work worn out! But I made it!
So, am I on cloud nine after this weekend? Emphatically yes!
Have I fallen head over heels in love with him, and have visions of us living happily ever after? Have you even been paying attention to my blog...or is this your first post? Okay fine, well if it is then let me break it down for you. I am nuts about this man, absolutely bonkers. He is me...so how could I not absolutely adore him? We are so much alike in so many of the same ways, and we know each other's personality types, which is a good thing.
BUT!!
See the dramatics there? I couldn't help it! We are what we are, and I refuse to let my emotions get in the midst of anything and ruin it. What are we? I don't know actually. I don't think we expected to dig each other like this upon our first meeting, so we are both just trying to enjoy it. Yet, we are both aware that this is likely not a relationship that could last in the long run. Why? He just got out of a long marriage, he needs to come into his own right now and enjoy his "singleness". He keeps telling me about wanting to finish school before he retires, and that it will take up a lot of his time. He still wants to have children and experience the whole process of diapers and all the good stuff that goes along with child-rearing from day one! Medically, I am done with that. Though that is not to say I wouldn't do it again for the right reason. (Did I tell you how AWESOME pregnancy was for me?) I still got the tools, they just need to be repaired. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have made that decision so hastily but, such as life, I did what I thought was best at the time. Plus, it would have been nice to have the anxious and excited dad-to-be rubbing my belly at night and talking to the baby throughout the day. With four pregnancies, nope, never got that. Yeah, I know...sucks to be me.
And let's not forget my condition. I think he would be like New Guy, just not able to be completely comfortable with it for the long term. I just hate that society has put such a horrible stigma on this thing, that people fear it like it's a death sentence! It is what it is, that's all I can say. Okay, also I can say this: If you're reading this and you have ever had a cold sore, you have what I have just in a different part of your body. But essentially the same virus. Now what makes yours less worse than mine? Socially accepted thought patterns, that's what.
All that to say, as far as our relationship, I am doing everything in my mortal power to avoid the L-word like the plague. You know how quick I am to fall, and I don't wanna freak him out or anything, so I keep it under control. Honestly, I am pretty proud of me...I really am changing!
But, for the record...casual dating sucks!
Okay, here we go. After all the running and things on Friday, we still didn't hit the highway til about 7p. Got right outside of Arnold - on 55South - and ran into a 4-lane clogging accident! We moved about 2 miles in about an hour! From the vehicles we saw (fire trucks, state police cars, and a few ambulances) we guessed it must have been pretty serious. However, when the traffic finally opened up, we saw absolutely nothing to make us even think there had been an accident!
We got to Kween's father's house at about 1230a. Their phone was not working properly and she didn't have the cell phone number, so we - correction I - just had to knock until someone answered. Thank goodness they answered, cause Dante didn't! He obviously fell asleep, cause I called a gajillion times to no avail. It was almost becoming comical, except for the fact that it was going on 130a...and these people needed to get back to bed! So I looked on Kween's phone internet and got directions from one house to the the next. But, OMG, her stepmother Jackie got in her car and drove me all the way to the apartment complex! Just in time for Dante to call, of course! He is so sweet! Just twenty million apologies, but I knew what happened to him. It was late after all. We were the only idots driving around at that time of night! Normal people were home in bed!
So both his plan and my plan for Friday night was scratched. He wanted to take me to some club and get some drinks and dance a bit. Well, after a certain hour I knew that wasn't gonna happen, so I went back to my original idea. I brought my silver trenchcoat and a pair of black boots.
You are correct. That was ALL I was gonna wear as I greeted him at his door! Another time perhaps...
Anyway, after a good long hug and kiss (okay, several kisses), he ran me a bath and told me to go relax. It was so hot, I sweated my hair out! But it felt so good! I don't take baths at home you see. I don't really have the time. By the time I do have the time, I would never get clean, cause I would fall asleep in the tub!! So, I am basically a shower girl. Single mom, 4 kids. Seriously, what did you expect?
Back to the topic. I got out of the tub, dried off, then was instructed to lay on the bed. I got a complete rubdown with lavender baby oil gel, then a mini-massage with this three-pronged handheld thingy that came in really handy a day later! And then....
Puh-leeze, you know what happened next! You know what happened several more times that weekend! So, fast forward to the morning. Okay, fast forward a little more to when we actually got out of the bed! We got up and threw on some clothes then headed to the grocery store so I could shop for breakfast. I made some oven-baked french toast with a brown sugar glaze. I garnished with toasted slivered almonds and bananas cut on the bias, then served with some turkey bacon I pan-fried (til crisp of course, that's the secret). He absolutely loved it! Dante's not really big on fried eggs. That's something he and Starr have in common actually, she doesn't even like them with cheese anymore. But both of them can eat them boiled, just not scrambled and fried. He made tequila sunrise drinks to go with breakfast, and the spoiling began!
One thing to know about me is I find joy in serving. My children and my man, that is...not just anybody! He finished his food before me, and I asked if he wanted seconds. So, I sat my unfinished plate down and went to make him another plate. He tried to protest, but I shut him down. So from that point on, I took care of everything I could. I washed the dishes, did any cooking or serving of foods, and kept the tequila sunrises flowing until I left! He loved it, which I am glad. It would suck to live totally by myself. So I really think he enjoyed me being there to do that for him.
We went to see I Am Legend on Saturday, and went to an Italian restaurant to eat afterwards. I told him to pick someplace he has wanted to go, and so he did. I found out he is weak over lasagna. And that Talayna's in St. Louis has the best lasagna to him. The movie, by the way, was very awesome...one of Will Smith's top performances.
The rest of the weekend was spent lounging around the apartment, just watching movies and being in each other's presence. I thoroughly enjoyed myself, I fell asleep several times on the couch, which pleased him. He said it was nice to see me so relaxed, which I truly was. Me? Take a nap at home? With the kids here? You wanna talk about hypertension, let me try to take a nap during the day, and my blood pressure is going up!
Oh, and lest I forget Saturday night. Got reacquainted with my friend, Tequila Blanco! Our love-hate relationship is still intact after all these years. I drank about 5 shots in a row, not to forget I had a cocktail at dinner, and had been sipping on tequila sunrises all day. Let me be frank with you on my condition: I got drunk off my ass! Do you hear me? Completely F-cked Up! And you know what? It felt goooooood! Yep, I said it! It's not like it's anything that will be happening again in the remotely near future, but dammit I had fun! Even when the barf-fest began and I had to clean up the wall in the bathroom, and wash the rugs that were on the floor. I had fun! I passed out on the bed, and the next thing I know it was 4am...and someone was "rolling me over"!
Remember that slow leak I told you about? Yeah well, by Sunday, it was flat. Of course this was the exact moment I was ready to leave that I noticed this. We went up to Auto Zone and got Fix-A-Flat, which has NEVER worked for me by the way. Okay, now we've got to change to the spare, which I was really trying to avoid. (Note to self: find your damn hydraulic jack! What use is it if it's not in the van when you need it?) Well, by we, I mean he did most of the work! But, it was a team effort! You know I can't do the damsel-in-distress thing that well! So Kween and I made it home on cruise control at 70mph. There were a lot of other vehicles passing me, including the big rigs! That burns me up, but we made it home safely...and that's what matters. She was off today, so I was at work worn out! But I made it!
So, am I on cloud nine after this weekend? Emphatically yes!
Have I fallen head over heels in love with him, and have visions of us living happily ever after? Have you even been paying attention to my blog...or is this your first post? Okay fine, well if it is then let me break it down for you. I am nuts about this man, absolutely bonkers. He is me...so how could I not absolutely adore him? We are so much alike in so many of the same ways, and we know each other's personality types, which is a good thing.
BUT!!
See the dramatics there? I couldn't help it! We are what we are, and I refuse to let my emotions get in the midst of anything and ruin it. What are we? I don't know actually. I don't think we expected to dig each other like this upon our first meeting, so we are both just trying to enjoy it. Yet, we are both aware that this is likely not a relationship that could last in the long run. Why? He just got out of a long marriage, he needs to come into his own right now and enjoy his "singleness". He keeps telling me about wanting to finish school before he retires, and that it will take up a lot of his time. He still wants to have children and experience the whole process of diapers and all the good stuff that goes along with child-rearing from day one! Medically, I am done with that. Though that is not to say I wouldn't do it again for the right reason. (Did I tell you how AWESOME pregnancy was for me?) I still got the tools, they just need to be repaired. Sometimes I wish I wouldn't have made that decision so hastily but, such as life, I did what I thought was best at the time. Plus, it would have been nice to have the anxious and excited dad-to-be rubbing my belly at night and talking to the baby throughout the day. With four pregnancies, nope, never got that. Yeah, I know...sucks to be me.
And let's not forget my condition. I think he would be like New Guy, just not able to be completely comfortable with it for the long term. I just hate that society has put such a horrible stigma on this thing, that people fear it like it's a death sentence! It is what it is, that's all I can say. Okay, also I can say this: If you're reading this and you have ever had a cold sore, you have what I have just in a different part of your body. But essentially the same virus. Now what makes yours less worse than mine? Socially accepted thought patterns, that's what.
All that to say, as far as our relationship, I am doing everything in my mortal power to avoid the L-word like the plague. You know how quick I am to fall, and I don't wanna freak him out or anything, so I keep it under control. Honestly, I am pretty proud of me...I really am changing!
But, for the record...casual dating sucks!
December 14, 2007
ON OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME
Okay, so I was able to get off work at 1p today, with the sole intent of hitting the road at about 4p at the latest. Um....NOT!! My mother's outpatient procedure was scheduled for 12noon. They are currently running about 2 hours behind! Mind you, for this procedure, you can't have eaten solid foods the day before. Not 12 hours...THE. WHOLE. DAY. My poor mom! On top of the fact that she has to be put out for this, and her and anesthia are not really the best of buds.
But, as long as her outcome is positive and clean...I am good with that!
So, of course that spirals down to my expected departure time. I am now hoping for 6pm.
I have some running to do, so I will let you know how my weekend went when I get back!
But, as long as her outcome is positive and clean...I am good with that!
So, of course that spirals down to my expected departure time. I am now hoping for 6pm.
I have some running to do, so I will let you know how my weekend went when I get back!
December 13, 2007
Countdown!!
Man, you have NO IDEA how excited I am for this trip! You'd think it was a dream vacation to Hawaii or something wouldn't you? That's kind of how it feels, considering my life!
Today, I discovered a slow leak, but I have no time to get it fixed, so I am just gonna have to nurse it. Nothing is keeping me from going down there! To add insult to injury, payday is next week, so you know finances are not that pretty. I have a plan though, never fear!!
Since Kween is getting a ride down there courtesy of moi, that should cover some of the gas money getting there. Once I am there, I know my car won't move, whenever we do go out. Then come Sunday, when it's time to go, all I have to do is gas up using my debit card. Here is a little trick I found out a few years back: As long as you have a positive balance on your debit card, you can get get gas at the pump!!! Cool, huh?
Oh, don't panic! I am not purposely trying to bounce my account! I just know I have money being deposited on Monday, so that will take care of that. Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do!
The plan is to get off work early tomorrow so I can have everything taken care of and just be redy to drop the kids off and rollout about 5p at the latest. I would have loved to leave earlier, but my mom is having a procedure done at noon, and Leigh will be going with her. Just found this out tonight as a matter of fact. I'm trying to roll with it though!
Come hell or high water....I am going to Memphis this weekend!
Today, I discovered a slow leak, but I have no time to get it fixed, so I am just gonna have to nurse it. Nothing is keeping me from going down there! To add insult to injury, payday is next week, so you know finances are not that pretty. I have a plan though, never fear!!
Since Kween is getting a ride down there courtesy of moi, that should cover some of the gas money getting there. Once I am there, I know my car won't move, whenever we do go out. Then come Sunday, when it's time to go, all I have to do is gas up using my debit card. Here is a little trick I found out a few years back: As long as you have a positive balance on your debit card, you can get get gas at the pump!!! Cool, huh?
Oh, don't panic! I am not purposely trying to bounce my account! I just know I have money being deposited on Monday, so that will take care of that. Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do!
The plan is to get off work early tomorrow so I can have everything taken care of and just be redy to drop the kids off and rollout about 5p at the latest. I would have loved to leave earlier, but my mom is having a procedure done at noon, and Leigh will be going with her. Just found this out tonight as a matter of fact. I'm trying to roll with it though!
Come hell or high water....I am going to Memphis this weekend!
December 12, 2007
Close Call!
So, THE WEEKEND is coming up in a couple of days!! I am so excited, but at the same time have been apprehensive...waiting for the hammer to fall. Everytime I really plan something for me, something happens and the plans get ruined. Take my birthday weekend for instance! Need a reminder? Find it here.
Well, something almost happened. Almost. I was talking to my sister Leigh and asking her what kind of ingredients she wanted me to buy for the kids (they'll be making cookies at her house). She told me she would get it to me next week. That's when I reminded her it was this weekend. The look of confusion on her face was only trumped by the look of cool panic on mine. She was under the impression it was next weekend, not in 2 days! She says I told her the 21st, not the 14th. But I don't remember giving her a date. I remembered saying 2 weeks before Christmas. Then she proceeds to tell me that she will have our other sisters' children on Saturday. So, after a few moments of tension, she states that she will still do it.
WHEW!!!!!!
But, what that has made me think is that -as much as I want to see him as much as possible - I don't want to have to ask my sisters to watch my kids for a weekend again. I have that Delta ticket that expires at the end of March, and we were planning a trip in March. But unless my mom is willing to come up here and watch the kids...I just can't see it happening!
Yes, it does suck. Honestly, since I have had 4 children, I have NEVER gone on an overnight trip or a weekened getaway with anyone. Wasn't even a consideration, cause I already knew the outcome. But, for him, I decided to try. It's just too much mental stress on me. Now I am feeling guilty, knowing that my children will indeed be an inconvenience to someone else - that thing I loathe the most. Nevertheless, the plan is to go all out and completely enjoy myself, knowing the likelihood of a repeat anytime soon ain't lookin' so hot!
We are such homebodies, it really sucks at times like these. My middle sister? I would the thought would NEVER cross her mind to go anywhere without her kids. If she won an all-expence paid trip to Hawaii for two, she surely couldn't go. How could she not go without her girls??? I feel so bad for her sometimes. I told Kween the other day, I could see Anne dating again before I could see my sister! That's not a news flash, unless you recall that Ann's husband lost his battle with cancer earlier this year. Yeah, that about sums it up huh?
And, happily or not so happily, Leigh has been married since 1995, so she doesn't have to date...she's already there! She can't necessarily understand my position either. I couldn't even see her and her husband taking a much needed getaway, becuase they wouldn't be able to take the girls! Does that make me a bad mommy, cause I want some experiences for myself!?
Fine then, if it does...cause I still do!!
Well, something almost happened. Almost. I was talking to my sister Leigh and asking her what kind of ingredients she wanted me to buy for the kids (they'll be making cookies at her house). She told me she would get it to me next week. That's when I reminded her it was this weekend. The look of confusion on her face was only trumped by the look of cool panic on mine. She was under the impression it was next weekend, not in 2 days! She says I told her the 21st, not the 14th. But I don't remember giving her a date. I remembered saying 2 weeks before Christmas. Then she proceeds to tell me that she will have our other sisters' children on Saturday. So, after a few moments of tension, she states that she will still do it.
WHEW!!!!!!
But, what that has made me think is that -as much as I want to see him as much as possible - I don't want to have to ask my sisters to watch my kids for a weekend again. I have that Delta ticket that expires at the end of March, and we were planning a trip in March. But unless my mom is willing to come up here and watch the kids...I just can't see it happening!
Yes, it does suck. Honestly, since I have had 4 children, I have NEVER gone on an overnight trip or a weekened getaway with anyone. Wasn't even a consideration, cause I already knew the outcome. But, for him, I decided to try. It's just too much mental stress on me. Now I am feeling guilty, knowing that my children will indeed be an inconvenience to someone else - that thing I loathe the most. Nevertheless, the plan is to go all out and completely enjoy myself, knowing the likelihood of a repeat anytime soon ain't lookin' so hot!
We are such homebodies, it really sucks at times like these. My middle sister? I would the thought would NEVER cross her mind to go anywhere without her kids. If she won an all-expence paid trip to Hawaii for two, she surely couldn't go. How could she not go without her girls??? I feel so bad for her sometimes. I told Kween the other day, I could see Anne dating again before I could see my sister! That's not a news flash, unless you recall that Ann's husband lost his battle with cancer earlier this year. Yeah, that about sums it up huh?
And, happily or not so happily, Leigh has been married since 1995, so she doesn't have to date...she's already there! She can't necessarily understand my position either. I couldn't even see her and her husband taking a much needed getaway, becuase they wouldn't be able to take the girls! Does that make me a bad mommy, cause I want some experiences for myself!?
Fine then, if it does...cause I still do!!
December 9, 2007
Why am I so hard to please?
So, if you haven't noticed, I have been a bit unsettled lately.
We'll blame it on hormones.
Why am I the way I am?? I mean here's a great guy that's totally into me, true to his word, and has proven he cares about me and that he is a friend. But, there is a problem with that for me. He's not "The One", he's not even a contender in the title fight for my heart.
This is such unfamiliar territory for me, I am starting to melt down I fear. I have always looked at guys as potential life partner and, if you didn't fit that bill we didn't even date. Why waste money paying a babysitter or time away from home on something that wasn't going anywhere? The Major was "safe" because he was so far away, there was no danger of that ever becoming a relationship. But meanwhile, I was still looking for Mr. Right-For-Me.
Another thing is I've always had it in the back of my mind that Can't Get Right and I would eventually get it together and get married (and show everyone!). But, lately I have come to the realization that that is not going to happen, so that "always in love" feeling is gone. I don't like it! I like being in love! I want to be in love! I want to stay in love!
Right now, I am in no position to fall in love, be in love, or stay in love with Dante. I just can't allow it to happen. I would most assuredly be setting myself up for heartbreak. And who really does that on purpose, right? But then, if I even go looking for something else (yeah, I was yahoo personals browsing last night), then I feel guilty like I am cheating. The thought of him with someone else drives me nuts (I am a bit possessive...but not in jealous way). That's why I wouldn't initiate a conversation with anyone. I just don't really want to meet anyone new right now! I got too much other stuff to deal with.
Okay, okay. I need to get my head back in the game don't I? Enjoy this for what it is, which is awesome. I LOVE it when we're together and I hate-it-but-handle-it when we're apart. I look forward to my visit next weekend, and to him coming home the week afterwards. Since I am working part of Christmas Day, I have already invited him over to my house for a full course dinner on that Sunday before. I am really trying to plan our getaway trip too, even if it's only a weekend away. I want to go away with him, we have so much fun together. Plus the thought of being in a hotel room alone with him, not worrying about any hearing....WHEW!!! Truly, he does things to me that have never been done before (which was nearly impossible)...and we are still exploring each other! There is more to come on both sides!
So can I just let it be fun and a great time and rest in the fact that - while I'm busy getting my act together otherwise (home, business, finances, etc) - one day the lasting relationship that I still so desperately seek will come my way. Only next time it does, I'll be ready for it!
We'll blame it on hormones.
Why am I the way I am?? I mean here's a great guy that's totally into me, true to his word, and has proven he cares about me and that he is a friend. But, there is a problem with that for me. He's not "The One", he's not even a contender in the title fight for my heart.
This is such unfamiliar territory for me, I am starting to melt down I fear. I have always looked at guys as potential life partner and, if you didn't fit that bill we didn't even date. Why waste money paying a babysitter or time away from home on something that wasn't going anywhere? The Major was "safe" because he was so far away, there was no danger of that ever becoming a relationship. But meanwhile, I was still looking for Mr. Right-For-Me.
Another thing is I've always had it in the back of my mind that Can't Get Right and I would eventually get it together and get married (and show everyone!). But, lately I have come to the realization that that is not going to happen, so that "always in love" feeling is gone. I don't like it! I like being in love! I want to be in love! I want to stay in love!
Right now, I am in no position to fall in love, be in love, or stay in love with Dante. I just can't allow it to happen. I would most assuredly be setting myself up for heartbreak. And who really does that on purpose, right? But then, if I even go looking for something else (yeah, I was yahoo personals browsing last night), then I feel guilty like I am cheating. The thought of him with someone else drives me nuts (I am a bit possessive...but not in jealous way). That's why I wouldn't initiate a conversation with anyone. I just don't really want to meet anyone new right now! I got too much other stuff to deal with.
Okay, okay. I need to get my head back in the game don't I? Enjoy this for what it is, which is awesome. I LOVE it when we're together and I hate-it-but-handle-it when we're apart. I look forward to my visit next weekend, and to him coming home the week afterwards. Since I am working part of Christmas Day, I have already invited him over to my house for a full course dinner on that Sunday before. I am really trying to plan our getaway trip too, even if it's only a weekend away. I want to go away with him, we have so much fun together. Plus the thought of being in a hotel room alone with him, not worrying about any hearing....WHEW!!! Truly, he does things to me that have never been done before (which was nearly impossible)...and we are still exploring each other! There is more to come on both sides!
So can I just let it be fun and a great time and rest in the fact that - while I'm busy getting my act together otherwise (home, business, finances, etc) - one day the lasting relationship that I still so desperately seek will come my way. Only next time it does, I'll be ready for it!
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