So much has happened, but there's more to come too!
I finally got out of that horrible, super low paying job at ESI!! I'm now working super close to home and making quite a bit more, in my former career field of travel. I do official government travel for the US Air Force now. I work 7-10 minutes from my home. WooHoo!!!!!
Speaking of home, my landlord finally couldn't handle me being so late with the rent anymore. He was as understanding and patient as he could be. By the time I got the job it was too late, and things were already in motion. He was seriously considering evicting me. That would have really been an issue since with the income I was making then I don't know what kinda place I could have afforded! BUT, my boyfriend stepped up and to make sure that me and the kids wouldn't be living in my sister's basement...and that he would have his own place to call home...so he bought a house!
He got a very high paying job as an overseas contractor (has since been promoted to foreman less than 6 months after getting there!) so sadly I don't see him very often now. But the time we shared at the beginning of the year and up until he left was really a game-changer for our relationship...after all this time and all the EXTRA stuff that I endured.
Yes. I am talking about Dante! We are still together, happier and more committed than ever before. He finally made the right decision by getting rid of Gwen in Memphis. Though she did try one last ditch effort at the end to trap him by getting knocked up. Didn't work!
It's not all peaches and roses, don't get me wrong. But honestly, no real relationship is. There were some VERY rough patches when the house first came in the picture. How so? Well, basically the day of closing -which his mom attended because she's the POA and my idiot job at ESI wouldn't let me off work- is when his family not only found out about me...but that I would be the one living in the house! That was tough at first, but we all settled down and got along just fine. They were actually rather upset at him that he had kept me a secret so long, and then when they noticed how comfortable my WHOLE family is with him (meaning they've obviously been knowing him quite a while).
So I went from a modest but very nice 1200sf (approx) home to a 3200+ sf 4BR/3.75BA home in a great subdivision with a pool and tennis courts in a great school district! It's even 3 minutes from church too!!
That's the cliff note version. He'll be home for Thanksgiving and while he's here we'll have a 40th birthday party for him. I want to have the house done by the time he gets home, complete with his mancave downstairs. Work was absolutely CRAZY from day 3 that I was there, but it's calmed down finally. Kids are settled into their new schools. DJ is in high school now, a freshmen. Taking basically every course that can be honors, including Sophomore Algebra!! He was also the top award recipient and probably top kid at his Jr High School graduation! Yes, Solo-Mommy was VERY PROUD!!! Shockingly, for the first time EVER, his father showed up for this event. His chest stuck out like he was father of the year nearly made me physically ill though, but I put on a great show for the sake of DJ.
In the midst of all that, depression is trying to rear it's ugly head again. I could do better at fighting it, that's for sure. We are going to get the surgery for me that will allow me to have children again. Excited for that! Plus, I am starting to refocus on things that are important in my life. This blog is one. I really used to LOVE blogging, then I just let it die. Another is school. My last go around with school didn't end so well. But I'm ready to jump back in and get this degree DONE!! I'm also ready to truly focus in on what kind of business I want to run, and what alternate forms of income I will use. Yes, my job is just fine and it will be for a few years likely. But after that, I want to migrate into my own, not still being someone else's employee at 40 years old, ya know?
More to come...time to sleep! Missed you lots blogosphere!!!!!
Subscribe To
Posts
All Comments
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
September 25, 2011
November 2, 2009
Happy Birthday Starr!!
She's 11 today. (Yes, that is Transformers. Yes, she picked it all by herself!)
I can remember the day she was born like it was yesterday. It started out a beautiful San Diego day as usual. I was relieved the weekend was over, and she wasn't born on Halloween! I was supposed to go in to work that day and fill in for someone else who was out. But I called my supervisor and told him I just couldn't do it, that I was so tired and I promised I would be in the next day. He later told me how HAPPY he was that I didn't come in that day after all!!
It would be another hour before I noticed the somewhat regular tightening of my abdomen.
My friend and next door neighbor called and I was surprised she was home that day. She said she had to take her cousin to court so she took the day off work. We were just talking as usual and chit-chatting. Meanwhile, I was packing my bag for the hospital and DJ's bag for the babysitter, unbeknownst to my neighbor! Finally after about an hour, I asked what time she had to go to court and she said it was that afternoon. I politely asked her if she would drive me to the hospital because I was in labor. She started panicking more than I was! "Why didn't you say anything? How long have you been having contractions? Are you ready to go now?"
I replied 'no' to the last question because I still had to call my babysitter Lisa to pick up DJ. I didn't have to ask her if he could stay with them while I was in the hospital, she told me he was!!
She didn't live far, so they were there pretty quickly, and my friend and I were off to the hospital.
I don't really remember much about the drive there. Just enjoying the sights of San Diego, as I always did. I went to a hospital called Mary Birch Hospital for Women, so they had their own triage 'ER'-type area for Labor and Delivery. I was in my little room patiently waiting, my friend left to get her cousin to court on time, promising me she would be back ASAP. I remember a nurse coming in to check my vitals and enter my info in the system, but another nurse came a little later to do it again since she wasn't seeing info in the computer next to me. They already had me hooked up to a monitor machine that kept track of my contractions as well as the baby's heartbeat. I knew it was a girl, due to a previous ultrasound, and I already knew what her name was. I gave her father a chance to help with the naming by agreeing to the middle name Monique, but since he wasn't really around like I felt he should have been, I went with Starr instead. No, I'm no hippie I swear. But my mom's nickname in her younger days was Starr, and I knew without her (though 2200 miles away), I couldn't have made it through that preganancy sane. So Starr it was!
Back to the story: When the 2nd nurse came in and noticed my info wasn't in the computer thing, she decided she would go ahead and "check me" just to see how far I was progressing. What they are "checking" is how far I (my cervix, to be exact) am dilated ( up to 10cm) and effaced (thinned out, percentage up to 100%). Fully dilated and effaced basically means the baby is coming any second and some pushing is gonna be happening in moments. For most women, without using drugs that is, this process is usually rather uncomfortable to downright painful. I can still say to this day that after 4 children, it never was for me. So, imagine the nurse's utter amazement when she discovers I am fully dilated and effaced and sitting there as calm as if were having tea with the Queen! I even hear her at the nurse's station telling the other nurses that I am calm and relaxed and even laughing with her, though I am fully dilated and effaced! A few nurses peeked in my room! Now that was hilarious! She even asked at one point if I could not laugh so loudly because she didn't want to make the other women feel bad!! LOL
They got me up to labor and delivery pretty quick, needlesstosay. The doctor had two C-sections to do before me, then he was on his way in. In the time it took him to do the first delivery, it was all I could do to keep Starr in! Ladies with children, you know what I mean about that urge to push! Men, think of a time when you really, really had to do #2 but had to hold it until you got where you were going. Got that feeling in your mind? Good, now take that and multiply it by 20!!
The nurse paged him a few times, because by now I was really uncomfortable because I was trying to resist the urge to push. She put this oxygen mask on me, which made things worse because I felt like I couldn't breathe then! Goofy, I know. Finally she begged me to just wait a second longer, and she found him then literally pulled him into the room and said, "Trust me, this won't take but a minute or two!" He said push twice and there she was!! Then the doc was gone. Starr was rather cranky and not easily consolable initially, even for a newborn. So the nurse gave her a bottle of formula, and she drank two ounces right from the womb!! The nurse swore she had never seen anything like that before!
The only thing I really remember about the hospital stay afterward was hoping Wayne would walk through the door. No luck, Army duty called. I also know I am not one of those mothers that want their baby to sleep in the room with them. Are you kidding?? I know for sure the next few months it's just gonna be me and the babies, so at least for these two nights I'll take advantage of someone else watching the baby while I sleep!
The day I came home from the hospital, I ended up at the airport that evening because my mom was on a plane out there! She stayed for two weeks. She had never been that far west and had NEVER seen the ocean in her almost 50 years then. What an awesome thing to have been a part of. She even made sure DJ was walking by the time she flew back home!
So that's the story of Starr's birth, and I do not regret a moment of it...or anyday we have spent being a part of each other's lives. I see so much of myself in her, and then some. I just want her to know there is NOTHING she cannot do, that the sky really is the limit. So much more in store for her, and I can't hardly wait to be a part of it!
Thank You Lord for the blessing you gave me 11 years ago today.
June 3, 2009
People are Strange Sometimes
So my nieces didn't show up yesterday morning. I didn't remember the Officer saying she was off. I talked to her that evening, and what she told me really threw me for a loop.
She told that she was taking her daughter to grandmother's house while she was working, until Leigh is out for the summer. Then they will stay with her. Until my Dante helped me see it as a positive thing, I will admit the sensitive side was slightly offended. I mean, my grandmother is 88 years old. All they're gonna do is sit in the house all day. There will be no going outside, that's not even a question. Then, Leigh just had a baby not too long ago, and is in the process of having her kitchen redone. PLUS, let's not forget she watched them all last summer too!
I know the Officer said something the other day about being broke. Perhaps because they are in such a habit of paying me (or because she knows I am not going to a j.o.b. everyday), they think I am in NEED of the money they pay me. I am not. I have told them several times before that the money wasn't necessary, and I never ask them for it. So my only guess is that she thinks I would have a hard time with them being here without paying me.
But nonetheless, my Dante set me straight. He just told me to look at it as a positive thing. Let them work out whatever details for themselves. Cool with me!
She told that she was taking her daughter to grandmother's house while she was working, until Leigh is out for the summer. Then they will stay with her. Until my Dante helped me see it as a positive thing, I will admit the sensitive side was slightly offended. I mean, my grandmother is 88 years old. All they're gonna do is sit in the house all day. There will be no going outside, that's not even a question. Then, Leigh just had a baby not too long ago, and is in the process of having her kitchen redone. PLUS, let's not forget she watched them all last summer too!
I know the Officer said something the other day about being broke. Perhaps because they are in such a habit of paying me (or because she knows I am not going to a j.o.b. everyday), they think I am in NEED of the money they pay me. I am not. I have told them several times before that the money wasn't necessary, and I never ask them for it. So my only guess is that she thinks I would have a hard time with them being here without paying me.
But nonetheless, my Dante set me straight. He just told me to look at it as a positive thing. Let them work out whatever details for themselves. Cool with me!
April 28, 2009
Not Easily Broken
Cycle time...and I watched that movie! What a beautiful and complicated story! Definitely watch it!
It got me to thinking about a few things too. The wife's mother had a very instrumental part in the marriage. So much so that it almost led to divorce! Turns out she was filled with bitterness and unforgiveness herself from her marriage, so of course that's all she'd project on her daughter's situation. At one point, I actually watched her plant a negative seed in her daughter's mind about him having an affair. Words are very powerful, I cannot stress that enough. Towards the end she told her husband that while she learned how to be a strong, independent woman, she was never taught how to be a supportive, loving, and forgiving wife. That reminded me of something The Officer always quotes that our mother said: "When a man leaves - when not if, because they always leave..."
WTF??? Is it a wonder that I am twice-divorced??
Mind you, had I not heard this constantly said by my sister I would've had no recollection of it. To think that that's something she chooses to keep as a valuable pearl of wisdom is also a testament to my lack of surprise that she is still single!
So then I wonder about myself. What did I learn from two-failed marriages that I was never taught as a young lady?
I can say that - although it was a hard and painful road - I am glad I am here now. I may not be at the point of being a wife again just yet, but I'm more confident than ever before that I'm ready for it! Third times the charm, they say...
It got me to thinking about a few things too. The wife's mother had a very instrumental part in the marriage. So much so that it almost led to divorce! Turns out she was filled with bitterness and unforgiveness herself from her marriage, so of course that's all she'd project on her daughter's situation. At one point, I actually watched her plant a negative seed in her daughter's mind about him having an affair. Words are very powerful, I cannot stress that enough. Towards the end she told her husband that while she learned how to be a strong, independent woman, she was never taught how to be a supportive, loving, and forgiving wife. That reminded me of something The Officer always quotes that our mother said: "When a man leaves - when not if, because they always leave..."
WTF??? Is it a wonder that I am twice-divorced??
Mind you, had I not heard this constantly said by my sister I would've had no recollection of it. To think that that's something she chooses to keep as a valuable pearl of wisdom is also a testament to my lack of surprise that she is still single!
So then I wonder about myself. What did I learn from two-failed marriages that I was never taught as a young lady?
- I learned to pick my battles. Being right or getting the last word isn't always the most important thing. Peace in the home is always better.
- I learned that only two mortals belong in the marriage: the husband and the wife. Not my mom, not his mom, not my friends or my siblings. Usually the advice-givers' situations are as bad or worse than recipient's!
- I learned that without a strong foundation resting in God, the marriage will surely fail. The minute we as a couple began to stray from God in my first marriage, the trials came in like a tsunami. Obviously, we drowned.
- I learned to be supportive of my husband...even if I don't necessarily agree with the idea!
- I learned to be respectful of my husband, at all times and in all situations. This also means not allowing others (read:family and friends) to disrespect him either.
- I learned that no matter what anyone else says, intimacy is a MAJOR part of the marriage. When that deteriorates under normal circumstances, so does the rest of the relationship.
- I learned that it's okay not to be head of household!!
- I learned that I am not afraid to be a biblically-based submissive wife to my God-fearing husband. And it doesn't make me less of a "strong black woman" to want to be one either!!
I can say that - although it was a hard and painful road - I am glad I am here now. I may not be at the point of being a wife again just yet, but I'm more confident than ever before that I'm ready for it! Third times the charm, they say...
April 14, 2009
Easter Weekend in Review
What a great weekend this was! I got to see a lot more of my Punkin than I expected to! He surprised me early Friday to let me know he was about 30min away! He was there all day, until the next morning when he left to play softball with his cousins! Of course the bedroom antics were primo, as usual, but it is also very nice having him for such extended quantities of time.
Saturday was Leigh's baby shower, so I was doing that all day. We had a great time, she had a wonderful turnout. Good food and family...it really doesn't get much better than that. I left there a little early though because Dante was held up in North St. Louis longer than expected, and he wasn't going to make it back in time to pick up his suit from the cleaners before it closed. Let me just say this: my baby takes his dressing very seriously! He even had me calling around trying to find the perfect shoes to match the suit! I know, I know...it does seem a little suspect. But please trust me on this one, he is 100% Grade A Male! There is no 'sweet marbling' through his meat, if you know what I mean! When he goes through the trouble to look good, he makes damn sure he looks good!! So, I retrieved the suit and he got the shoes in time. Easter was saved!
He was supposed to spend that night with me, but I knew he wouldn't. Just had a feeling you know? He sent me a text beforehand to ask if I would mind if he took a shower at my place. Yeah, I thought it was strange too. Of course, he could have just been being funny. But then later it ended up him staying at his mom's house (whom I still haven't met yet) to get ready for Easter. It's like a 40 minute one-way drive to her place, so that makes a difference as well. I didn't necessarily expect to see him on Easter, because that's just how it is. What do I mean? Well, his family time is his family and, at least so far, neither the two shall meet. However, he kept wanting updates on what I was doing and what time I was headed home. I went to Grandmother's after church (which was wonderful). So that led me to believe he had plans for us to see each other that evening. So, I kept my clothes on all day.
That's not normal for me, FYI.
Usually when I get home from church, I change immediately. But this time I kept my contacts in and my clothes on and my makeup on, because I wanted him to see me that way. Kind of ruined the effect when I didn't see him until 1150pm though. As I told him later, I would have been fine of I wasn't led to believe that we would see each other earlier than we did. The kids were on Spring Break so no school that Monday. He told me that I had all that day with him, and he was leaving for Memphis at 5a Tuesday morning! I actually squealed with delight I was so excited! Well, that was dampened a bit on Monday when I lost him for about 6 hours to his cousin!
Hey, I am who I am. If you tell me it's gonna be me and you, then silly me is gonna believe you mean exactly that. Part of the problem is that I still don't feel like an integral part of his life, where his family is concerned at least. As I told him that evening, I don't feel like I am ever made a priority over family for him. Even though he later explained that since his cousin was doing something for me free of charge, he figured the least he could do is oblige him with whatever help he needed. Mind you , so much of that started off wrong when I answered the phone to his cell number on caller ID and heard him a woman having a conversation in the background! That immediately gave me flashbacks of my time with Roy, where his cell phone (that I paid for) called me from his pocket and I would hear him trying to talk to some random girl! Okay, granted the convo between Dante and the mystery woman was about getting gas, but still! Flashbacks, nonetheless!
So, when he got back I was just getting my emotions back to normal, though because so much time had passed without a call I was pissed off. I don't like being angry. I like to control my temper. I am trying really hard at that, especially with the kids (who, naturally catch the most of it), so I didn't say much when he came in. I was reading another Karen Kingsbury book and watching you-know-what for the 2nd time in a row, to which he rolled his eyes! When the credits started rolling he put in something else and wanted to come sit by me, which I brushed him off about completely, so he went back to where he was sitting before.
One thing I've noticed about him in the two times we've had a disagreement is that he'll be ready to leave at a moment's notice. I don't like that. I am not the yelling, throwing things, cursing-you-out type. In other words, he don't like the drama, and will avoid it all costs! Thing is, neother do I. I would much rather talk things out that get 'ugly'. That's exactly what we did. I say exactly what I am thinking and feeling now. Before, when I sometimes still felt like a contestant on Flavor of Love/Rock of Love/For the Love of Ray J (take your pick), I was careful not to say the wrong thing...for fear of being "eliminated" and categorized as one of those kinda chicks. I know, I know, it's silly but true. Now though, I can only be myself. Everything we say to each other is not going to be well received. Period. We can either accept that or move on.
The best thing about a disagreement is the making up later. Man! There was an intensity that just kicked us over the top!! W-O-W is all I can say!!! I hated to fall asleep that night for sure, but what a blissful sleep it was! I woke him up to leave that morning and...yep you guessed it! Rollover!! (that is a requirement for us!) My neices were in the living room sleeping by then but did that stop me? Heck no!! We turned up the music, hopefully that was enough! :-)
Did I say it was GREAT WEEKEND?
Saturday was Leigh's baby shower, so I was doing that all day. We had a great time, she had a wonderful turnout. Good food and family...it really doesn't get much better than that. I left there a little early though because Dante was held up in North St. Louis longer than expected, and he wasn't going to make it back in time to pick up his suit from the cleaners before it closed. Let me just say this: my baby takes his dressing very seriously! He even had me calling around trying to find the perfect shoes to match the suit! I know, I know...it does seem a little suspect. But please trust me on this one, he is 100% Grade A Male! There is no 'sweet marbling' through his meat, if you know what I mean! When he goes through the trouble to look good, he makes damn sure he looks good!! So, I retrieved the suit and he got the shoes in time. Easter was saved!
He was supposed to spend that night with me, but I knew he wouldn't. Just had a feeling you know? He sent me a text beforehand to ask if I would mind if he took a shower at my place. Yeah, I thought it was strange too. Of course, he could have just been being funny. But then later it ended up him staying at his mom's house (whom I still haven't met yet) to get ready for Easter. It's like a 40 minute one-way drive to her place, so that makes a difference as well. I didn't necessarily expect to see him on Easter, because that's just how it is. What do I mean? Well, his family time is his family and, at least so far, neither the two shall meet. However, he kept wanting updates on what I was doing and what time I was headed home. I went to Grandmother's after church (which was wonderful). So that led me to believe he had plans for us to see each other that evening. So, I kept my clothes on all day.
That's not normal for me, FYI.
Usually when I get home from church, I change immediately. But this time I kept my contacts in and my clothes on and my makeup on, because I wanted him to see me that way. Kind of ruined the effect when I didn't see him until 1150pm though. As I told him later, I would have been fine of I wasn't led to believe that we would see each other earlier than we did. The kids were on Spring Break so no school that Monday. He told me that I had all that day with him, and he was leaving for Memphis at 5a Tuesday morning! I actually squealed with delight I was so excited! Well, that was dampened a bit on Monday when I lost him for about 6 hours to his cousin!
Hey, I am who I am. If you tell me it's gonna be me and you, then silly me is gonna believe you mean exactly that. Part of the problem is that I still don't feel like an integral part of his life, where his family is concerned at least. As I told him that evening, I don't feel like I am ever made a priority over family for him. Even though he later explained that since his cousin was doing something for me free of charge, he figured the least he could do is oblige him with whatever help he needed. Mind you , so much of that started off wrong when I answered the phone to his cell number on caller ID and heard him a woman having a conversation in the background! That immediately gave me flashbacks of my time with Roy, where his cell phone (that I paid for) called me from his pocket and I would hear him trying to talk to some random girl! Okay, granted the convo between Dante and the mystery woman was about getting gas, but still! Flashbacks, nonetheless!
So, when he got back I was just getting my emotions back to normal, though because so much time had passed without a call I was pissed off. I don't like being angry. I like to control my temper. I am trying really hard at that, especially with the kids (who, naturally catch the most of it), so I didn't say much when he came in. I was reading another Karen Kingsbury book and watching you-know-what for the 2nd time in a row, to which he rolled his eyes! When the credits started rolling he put in something else and wanted to come sit by me, which I brushed him off about completely, so he went back to where he was sitting before.
One thing I've noticed about him in the two times we've had a disagreement is that he'll be ready to leave at a moment's notice. I don't like that. I am not the yelling, throwing things, cursing-you-out type. In other words, he don't like the drama, and will avoid it all costs! Thing is, neother do I. I would much rather talk things out that get 'ugly'. That's exactly what we did. I say exactly what I am thinking and feeling now. Before, when I sometimes still felt like a contestant on Flavor of Love/Rock of Love/For the Love of Ray J (take your pick), I was careful not to say the wrong thing...for fear of being "eliminated" and categorized as one of those kinda chicks. I know, I know, it's silly but true. Now though, I can only be myself. Everything we say to each other is not going to be well received. Period. We can either accept that or move on.
The best thing about a disagreement is the making up later. Man! There was an intensity that just kicked us over the top!! W-O-W is all I can say!!! I hated to fall asleep that night for sure, but what a blissful sleep it was! I woke him up to leave that morning and...yep you guessed it! Rollover!! (that is a requirement for us!) My neices were in the living room sleeping by then but did that stop me? Heck no!! We turned up the music, hopefully that was enough! :-)
Did I say it was GREAT WEEKEND?
April 5, 2009
Mom's Out
She went home Saturday evening. They tried to release her at like 9p on Friday night but, her blood pressure was 205/90!! I seriously think that was in the stroke range. Talk about a malpractice suit waiting to happen...
I told her very seriously that the smoking has to stop. It is no longer a matter of it helping her health in the long run. It is now a matter of her consciously killing herself by still lighting up. I told her those exact words, I didn't want to sugar coat it at all. I meant every word too. I do not want to lose my mother anytime soon. And - just as important - I couldn't bear to watch my grandmother outlive another one of her children. She's already done it twice...and she only had four children, for pete's sake! Maybe I should phrase it to mom that way...
In other news, today was Palm Sunday at church. It was a very good and engaging program today, talking about the bridge. The Bridge, of course, being Jesus Christ; since the only way to the Father is through the Son. Pastor also made a point to mention the sacrifice that God made made by allowing His son to die in our place for our sins and transgressions. I mean, who hasn't heard of John 3:16, right? "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..."
Yeah, that one. But have you ever really thought out the pain that must've caused God to see His son suffer and die...all for the sake of "everyone else"?? Could you do it? Then they played this short movie, and I swear there was a lot of sniffling when it went off. When you read that verse, it's easy to see it from a general and subjective point of view. This video really put it in 'layman's terms', as the saying goes.
MOST The Movie from Dano Magazine on Vimeo.
I told her very seriously that the smoking has to stop. It is no longer a matter of it helping her health in the long run. It is now a matter of her consciously killing herself by still lighting up. I told her those exact words, I didn't want to sugar coat it at all. I meant every word too. I do not want to lose my mother anytime soon. And - just as important - I couldn't bear to watch my grandmother outlive another one of her children. She's already done it twice...and she only had four children, for pete's sake! Maybe I should phrase it to mom that way...
In other news, today was Palm Sunday at church. It was a very good and engaging program today, talking about the bridge. The Bridge, of course, being Jesus Christ; since the only way to the Father is through the Son. Pastor also made a point to mention the sacrifice that God made made by allowing His son to die in our place for our sins and transgressions. I mean, who hasn't heard of John 3:16, right? "For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son..."
Yeah, that one. But have you ever really thought out the pain that must've caused God to see His son suffer and die...all for the sake of "everyone else"?? Could you do it? Then they played this short movie, and I swear there was a lot of sniffling when it went off. When you read that verse, it's easy to see it from a general and subjective point of view. This video really put it in 'layman's terms', as the saying goes.
MOST The Movie from Dano Magazine on Vimeo.
April 3, 2009
Mom's Been in the Hospital
She thinks she was having a heart attack. After having dealt with the pain since 1030p the night before, waking up with it, and going to work...then realizing it wasn't getting better, she finally excused herself and headed to the hospital. I got the call from Leigh and, since she wasn't able to go up there, I went. No matter that I had planned to start work on my new project that day...it was my mom, you know?
I got there while she was still in the waiting room, so she must not have been there very long. Usually with chest pains, triage gets them pretty speedily. She said they had already done the mobile EKG. She ended up getting three nitroglycerin pills before the pain subsided, then she was put on a nitro patch for continuous dosing every 6 hours. The "patch" was actually what looked like a piece of wax paper with thick cream on it, that was laid flat on the skin (cream-side down) then taped in place with sterile tape! Pretty high tech, huh?? She was hooked up to oxygen and heart monitors, and x-rays were taken and bloodwork drawn, and then they decided they were gonna keep her. They set up a cardiac catheter procedure for the next afternoon to take a look at the vessels for damage. All I know from that is there was some blockage, but not enough to do bypass surgery. I would love to know exactly how much there really is. Meanwhile, the brainiac that she is, STILL SMOKES!!!!
Heart disease and heart attacks are major news in my family. My grandmother has heart trouble. Both my uncles (my grandmothers only 2 boys) died of sudden massive coronaries. My mother has had at least one heart attack, and possibly another mild one some years back. This is really no joke, and I want her to get off the cigs period! This is ridiculous! I mean, it's like throwing gasoline on a fire!
On my own front, I haven't walked one time since I got back from my getaway. Yes, I know. I suck big time, but I have to get the habit re-established. My life really does depend on it.
Mom is supposed to get released tomorrow. They were planning to release her tonight but, when her blood pressure read 205/90, and she was on bedrest...they decided to rethink that plan! I honestly don't think I would have let her go myself. I looked at her chart, and even before the 205 reading came up, they were still all above 160/90. A few were like 183/104!! That's real bad, in case you were unsure! "Normal" blood pressure is 120/80. See the difference?
I spent all day yesterday before I had to get the kids, and then all day today after the kids' honors assembly this morning..plus I went back after I hit the grocery store for some items. The Officer volunteered to watch the kids, so Mom would have someone up there with her. I am glad I was there.
I will get into my project a little this weekend though, that's for sure. But only after Mom is home safely.
I got there while she was still in the waiting room, so she must not have been there very long. Usually with chest pains, triage gets them pretty speedily. She said they had already done the mobile EKG. She ended up getting three nitroglycerin pills before the pain subsided, then she was put on a nitro patch for continuous dosing every 6 hours. The "patch" was actually what looked like a piece of wax paper with thick cream on it, that was laid flat on the skin (cream-side down) then taped in place with sterile tape! Pretty high tech, huh?? She was hooked up to oxygen and heart monitors, and x-rays were taken and bloodwork drawn, and then they decided they were gonna keep her. They set up a cardiac catheter procedure for the next afternoon to take a look at the vessels for damage. All I know from that is there was some blockage, but not enough to do bypass surgery. I would love to know exactly how much there really is. Meanwhile, the brainiac that she is, STILL SMOKES!!!!
Heart disease and heart attacks are major news in my family. My grandmother has heart trouble. Both my uncles (my grandmothers only 2 boys) died of sudden massive coronaries. My mother has had at least one heart attack, and possibly another mild one some years back. This is really no joke, and I want her to get off the cigs period! This is ridiculous! I mean, it's like throwing gasoline on a fire!
On my own front, I haven't walked one time since I got back from my getaway. Yes, I know. I suck big time, but I have to get the habit re-established. My life really does depend on it.
Mom is supposed to get released tomorrow. They were planning to release her tonight but, when her blood pressure read 205/90, and she was on bedrest...they decided to rethink that plan! I honestly don't think I would have let her go myself. I looked at her chart, and even before the 205 reading came up, they were still all above 160/90. A few were like 183/104!! That's real bad, in case you were unsure! "Normal" blood pressure is 120/80. See the difference?
I spent all day yesterday before I had to get the kids, and then all day today after the kids' honors assembly this morning..plus I went back after I hit the grocery store for some items. The Officer volunteered to watch the kids, so Mom would have someone up there with her. I am glad I was there.
I will get into my project a little this weekend though, that's for sure. But only after Mom is home safely.
March 24, 2009
The Week in Review
So, I did make it to my trip with Dante. But of course, not without the usual levels of stress. I think this was even higher though. Probably because I had plane tickets this time, and I was so looking forward to it! Long story short, I got to go, but not without a few tense conversations with The Officer. At one point, I reminded her of the trip and she professed to have no idea what I was talking about!! I was livid. Then I felt like I was judged because the trip was more than Friday to Sunday. But, as usual, my mom calmed me down, being the peacekeeper she is. However, when we have our next family meeting, I will bring my feelings up to everyone then.
What feelings you ask? Just the fact that I never make them feel like they make me feel when I ask for something with the kids. I always have to hear the grumbling and semi-complaining, but they hear nothing of the sort from me when I am asked to take kids to the hair salon or wait an extra 20-30 minutes for someone to get out of band. Even worse, after The Officer told me that come heck or high water she was driving to Mt. Vernon this past weekend - and nothing was stopping her...she had the nerve to show up with the kids the next morning and tell me that she had to work that day til 530p!! What if I had plans??? She doesn't even ask!
Anyway, I got to go and had a blast. We really enjoyed each other's company this past weekend. Well, all except for that incident with cell phone and texting Friday night...
(Story later)
What feelings you ask? Just the fact that I never make them feel like they make me feel when I ask for something with the kids. I always have to hear the grumbling and semi-complaining, but they hear nothing of the sort from me when I am asked to take kids to the hair salon or wait an extra 20-30 minutes for someone to get out of band. Even worse, after The Officer told me that come heck or high water she was driving to Mt. Vernon this past weekend - and nothing was stopping her...she had the nerve to show up with the kids the next morning and tell me that she had to work that day til 530p!! What if I had plans??? She doesn't even ask!
Anyway, I got to go and had a blast. We really enjoyed each other's company this past weekend. Well, all except for that incident with cell phone and texting Friday night...
(Story later)
March 10, 2009
Bruzer's Birthday Recap
I decided since it was such a nice day that I would barbecue for the family. I took cupcakes that I bought at Sam's to Bruzer's pre-school on Friday - complete with Batman rings on each. So that was a big hit for him. While I was at Sam's, I ordered a cake for Saturday with Spiderman on it.
I dropped the kids off at Leigh's house- thanks to her for offering - while I did the last minute running around. It enabled me to get the cake plus a few extra items, and then hit WallyWorld for a gift. I got him a Batman Batcopter and the Batman play outfit. Turned out everyone was having such a good time at Leigh's house, including some of her inlaws that had stopped by, I just decided to cook everything at home and bring it over there! The great thing is we live about 3 minutes apart. I mean like, a song on the radio is halfway over by the time I get home. So it wasn't a great big deal to get everything together. Everyone had a great time!
Oh yeah! The other highlight of the day was that - on his 5th birthday - Bruzer lost his first tooth! It had been wiggly for a few days, but I knew that my brother-in-law would be the one to pull it. He's done that for pretty much all the kids, and I definitely wanted Bruzer to have to experience too! He was so proud to show me his little ziploc bag. How fitting that the 'tooth fairy' gave him $5 for that tooth on his 5th birthday! The one next to that one is loose also (front teeth on the bottom), so we'll have to go back down to the standard $1 for every tooth from now on!
Yep, I remember when it used to be a quarter too!
I dropped the kids off at Leigh's house- thanks to her for offering - while I did the last minute running around. It enabled me to get the cake plus a few extra items, and then hit WallyWorld for a gift. I got him a Batman Batcopter and the Batman play outfit. Turned out everyone was having such a good time at Leigh's house, including some of her inlaws that had stopped by, I just decided to cook everything at home and bring it over there! The great thing is we live about 3 minutes apart. I mean like, a song on the radio is halfway over by the time I get home. So it wasn't a great big deal to get everything together. Everyone had a great time!
Oh yeah! The other highlight of the day was that - on his 5th birthday - Bruzer lost his first tooth! It had been wiggly for a few days, but I knew that my brother-in-law would be the one to pull it. He's done that for pretty much all the kids, and I definitely wanted Bruzer to have to experience too! He was so proud to show me his little ziploc bag. How fitting that the 'tooth fairy' gave him $5 for that tooth on his 5th birthday! The one next to that one is loose also (front teeth on the bottom), so we'll have to go back down to the standard $1 for every tooth from now on!
Yep, I remember when it used to be a quarter too!
February 3, 2009
A Quick Vent
Ok, I know when I worked from 930a-6p that my sisters picked up my kids from daycares, sometimes making 2 trips, and didn't ask me for a cent to do it. I know that was for about a year straight. But I never did the things they do now! I know I didn't!
Yes, they pay me about $50 every 2 weeks to drop off and pick up their children from school. This saves them latchkey fees and, in the case of the 7th grade niece, mother's peace of mind that child is not home alone. My sisters are so much worse worriers than I could ever be, over protective to the point of overbearing in my opinion.
But geez Louise, why is it always something new with them? I just got called at 944P to ask if I can pick up my almost 17year old niece from yet another school tomorrow because Leigh will be at the doctor. She will be going to the doctor every Wednesday now, basically until delivery (ie, on or around March 20) in St. Louis. Again, the 17year old gets picked up everyday because her mother is terrified that something bad could happen if she caught the bus everyday - like hundreds of other students do everyday in the area. Let's not forget that I wait 30minutes in the car for her 7th grader to get out of school, then on Wednesdays I wait another 15 on top of that for The Officer's 5th grader to get out of band practice. So, when I pick up Champagne at 245P, I'm usually not home again with all kids until 4P!! That is a big ass chunk of my afternoon! And still I'm getting asked for more and more.
This is why it gets easier to ask them for things that I want when it comes to babysitting, because they have no problem asking me if it's something they need to do!
(breathing slowly)
...and....exhale
Yes, they pay me about $50 every 2 weeks to drop off and pick up their children from school. This saves them latchkey fees and, in the case of the 7th grade niece, mother's peace of mind that child is not home alone. My sisters are so much worse worriers than I could ever be, over protective to the point of overbearing in my opinion.
But geez Louise, why is it always something new with them? I just got called at 944P to ask if I can pick up my almost 17year old niece from yet another school tomorrow because Leigh will be at the doctor. She will be going to the doctor every Wednesday now, basically until delivery (ie, on or around March 20) in St. Louis. Again, the 17year old gets picked up everyday because her mother is terrified that something bad could happen if she caught the bus everyday - like hundreds of other students do everyday in the area. Let's not forget that I wait 30minutes in the car for her 7th grader to get out of school, then on Wednesdays I wait another 15 on top of that for The Officer's 5th grader to get out of band practice. So, when I pick up Champagne at 245P, I'm usually not home again with all kids until 4P!! That is a big ass chunk of my afternoon! And still I'm getting asked for more and more.
This is why it gets easier to ask them for things that I want when it comes to babysitting, because they have no problem asking me if it's something they need to do!
(breathing slowly)
...and....exhale
January 9, 2009
FFM (family financial meeting) is in Session
So my sisters and mom and I decided we need to start back having our financial meetings again. These are meetings where we lay it out on the table, no secrets, no money-is-taboo attitudes, nothing holding us back from being real with each other about money. This past year, I have done so much better at being transparent in so many areas. I am glad we are doing this again...especially for the next generation. As I said tonight to my 16 year old niece (in front of my mother): "We want to pass on this financial knowledge to you now, because it wasn't told to us by our mother - but not because she didn't want us to know...but because she didn't know."
We want our children to be better equipped to handle things financially than we ever were. I want them to know the importance of credit. I want them to know how important it is to start off with good credit...as opposed to repairing bad credit!! We all warned her of the college credit card trap. Credit card companies literally throw cards at college students (knowing they have no income to pay them back) who are not truly aware that this isn't "free money" and they'll have to pay this back. So by the time they graduate college, along with possible student loans to contend with, they already have not-so-perfect credit due to poor revolving credit accounts.
Yes, you're right. That should be illegal.
I am in the process of repairing my credit. Having good credit was never a big deal to me, because I was never taught that it should be a big deal to me. I learned from my mother (mostly by actions) that I was just supposed to struggle and expect to pay high interest rates for stuff. It was just ... accepted as the norm!
Now do you see what I mean when I say changing mindsets and completely redoing my previous ways of thinking??? When I talked to my family at the meeting tonight about "my truck" and that the sticker price for the 2008 was about $59K before rebates, they could barely understand that concept! They want to be happy with just making do; keeping the bills paid, while having a savings, and occasionally splurging on a few extras. For the longest time I thought I was the wrong one for wanting more than that!! But, as the newest book I began reading (as well as numerous others in the past couple of years) by Joel Osteen titled Your Best Life Now reminded me: God wants to give us His very best, not a little...but in abundance!!!
On that note, today I went on a vision quest. I went to actually sit in "my truck" today at the dealership. I even started it up. OMG, it is so fabulous! I cannot wait to have that thing!!! It has a touchscreen navigation system, in the dash!! It has a power sunroof, power liftgate and glass in the back, a rear "backup" camera, factory remote starter, etc etc etc. It's literally everything I wanted and more!! 2010 can't come soon enough!!!
House first, then Denali XL. House first, then Denali XL. House first, then Denali XL. However...
...I did see a 2004 there for only $16,995.....
Joking!!!
Here's today's LOVE tip:
Research your partner's favorite hobby and identify a gift that is really useful for him/her. The more specialized the gift the more impact it will have on them. Talk to friends and family and use the internet to find the information you need.
p.s. I requested my operative notes from my tubal ligation surgery from the hospital today. That means I can find out exactly which procedure was done and how much (if any) of the tube was removed. That's very important for "my doctor" to know!! Yet another step in the right direction!!
We want our children to be better equipped to handle things financially than we ever were. I want them to know the importance of credit. I want them to know how important it is to start off with good credit...as opposed to repairing bad credit!! We all warned her of the college credit card trap. Credit card companies literally throw cards at college students (knowing they have no income to pay them back) who are not truly aware that this isn't "free money" and they'll have to pay this back. So by the time they graduate college, along with possible student loans to contend with, they already have not-so-perfect credit due to poor revolving credit accounts.
Yes, you're right. That should be illegal.
I am in the process of repairing my credit. Having good credit was never a big deal to me, because I was never taught that it should be a big deal to me. I learned from my mother (mostly by actions) that I was just supposed to struggle and expect to pay high interest rates for stuff. It was just ... accepted as the norm!
Now do you see what I mean when I say changing mindsets and completely redoing my previous ways of thinking??? When I talked to my family at the meeting tonight about "my truck" and that the sticker price for the 2008 was about $59K before rebates, they could barely understand that concept! They want to be happy with just making do; keeping the bills paid, while having a savings, and occasionally splurging on a few extras. For the longest time I thought I was the wrong one for wanting more than that!! But, as the newest book I began reading (as well as numerous others in the past couple of years) by Joel Osteen titled Your Best Life Now reminded me: God wants to give us His very best, not a little...but in abundance!!!
On that note, today I went on a vision quest. I went to actually sit in "my truck" today at the dealership. I even started it up. OMG, it is so fabulous! I cannot wait to have that thing!!! It has a touchscreen navigation system, in the dash!! It has a power sunroof, power liftgate and glass in the back, a rear "backup" camera, factory remote starter, etc etc etc. It's literally everything I wanted and more!! 2010 can't come soon enough!!!
House first, then Denali XL. House first, then Denali XL. House first, then Denali XL. However...
...I did see a 2004 there for only $16,995.....
Joking!!!
Here's today's LOVE tip:
Research your partner's favorite hobby and identify a gift that is really useful for him/her. The more specialized the gift the more impact it will have on them. Talk to friends and family and use the internet to find the information you need.
p.s. I requested my operative notes from my tubal ligation surgery from the hospital today. That means I can find out exactly which procedure was done and how much (if any) of the tube was removed. That's very important for "my doctor" to know!! Yet another step in the right direction!!
January 6, 2009
Back To School...and to Reality For Me
SO the kids got to go back to school for one day before ice overnight shut down all the schools in the are today! So, here I was looking forward to being by myself again during the day. NOT!!!!! I made it through today just fine though, I got things done that I wanted to for the most part. The kids got to play a long while then clean up, then watched The Dark Knight while I worked on the computer and baked Chocolate Almond Brownies. Not quite "from scratch", since I tend to be more of a "semi-homemade" kinda girl! :-)
Tomorrow is the BFF's birthday, and she is travelling to San Francisco this evening. I sent her an e-card that she should get when she lands...if she turns her computer on that is! Otherwise, it will be the morning. She's doing okay lately. The guy is (I hope) really trying to make himself better. The things she tells me are completely different in tone from the things he said before when he was scamming and lying and stuff. I figure if God really did put them together, then it doesn't have to make sense to us mere mortals! I just want her truly happy in a productive relationship.
I have been good the past day and a half from going on the 'baby doctor' website. I really wanna figure out how to get the money for it, while paying off all my other bills too! I even told Wayne that I was taking donations for my cause...to which he laughed of course! He told me his very recent ex-wife (from hell) told him she wants to have one more baby, and since he is the father of her other 2 kids she wants him to father this one too!! Poor thing, she was actually serious, which is scary all in itself. So that's when he had to let her know that he got 'fixed' earlier this year. He said she broke down and cried right there! Wow! As a woman, I can understand her frustration and hurt..but since I don't really like her, oh well!
Yes, you're right. I can be a bit mean sometimes!
Tomorrow I will finish working on my business plan. I decided to choose the software that I bought instead of the book I was using. Then when I get a few bucks, I need to get the Montana checked out so I can get to driving across the water when I need to get things done. Oh yes, don't think I don't know this is the enemy right now. I am well aware of it. Now that I am ready to go to the Women's Business Center in St. Louis, and to networking events all around the metro area, my car starts acting up!! Stumbling blocks are just stepping stones, that's all!!
There is a women's networking event I want to go to on the 23rd, and of course at this moment cost is a factor. But, I will find a way around that. Quick fast and in a hurry! You just wait! Anything that I want bad enough, I will always make it happen!!
Tomorrow is the BFF's birthday, and she is travelling to San Francisco this evening. I sent her an e-card that she should get when she lands...if she turns her computer on that is! Otherwise, it will be the morning. She's doing okay lately. The guy is (I hope) really trying to make himself better. The things she tells me are completely different in tone from the things he said before when he was scamming and lying and stuff. I figure if God really did put them together, then it doesn't have to make sense to us mere mortals! I just want her truly happy in a productive relationship.
I have been good the past day and a half from going on the 'baby doctor' website. I really wanna figure out how to get the money for it, while paying off all my other bills too! I even told Wayne that I was taking donations for my cause...to which he laughed of course! He told me his very recent ex-wife (from hell) told him she wants to have one more baby, and since he is the father of her other 2 kids she wants him to father this one too!! Poor thing, she was actually serious, which is scary all in itself. So that's when he had to let her know that he got 'fixed' earlier this year. He said she broke down and cried right there! Wow! As a woman, I can understand her frustration and hurt..but since I don't really like her, oh well!
Yes, you're right. I can be a bit mean sometimes!
Tomorrow I will finish working on my business plan. I decided to choose the software that I bought instead of the book I was using. Then when I get a few bucks, I need to get the Montana checked out so I can get to driving across the water when I need to get things done. Oh yes, don't think I don't know this is the enemy right now. I am well aware of it. Now that I am ready to go to the Women's Business Center in St. Louis, and to networking events all around the metro area, my car starts acting up!! Stumbling blocks are just stepping stones, that's all!!
There is a women's networking event I want to go to on the 23rd, and of course at this moment cost is a factor. But, I will find a way around that. Quick fast and in a hurry! You just wait! Anything that I want bad enough, I will always make it happen!!
December 30, 2008
Christmas Was Great
Merry Belated Christmas to everyone! I hope yours was lovely! This went went a lot smoother than last year in the whole trying to be Santa Claus part! I made sure they were sleep and got everything where it needed to be BEFORE I went to bed for the night! Dante came through big time (again) with toys for them, and I was able to buy them each something else from their Christmas lists that they wanted. Starr got the bike she has wanted for such a long time (that her father never got). So Dante gets BIG kudos from the family (and the bff) for that! He has such a big heart, I just wish sometimes I knew how much of me was in there. But that's another story...
Anyway, he got into town before Christmas and is able to stay until after New Year's so that's exciting! Though, because he says he's going to church, I won't be able to spend that night with him. It's been really great having him here though. We have spent a pretty good amount of time together. We went to the movies the other day while Leigh watched all the children for me. Then we came home and ate some Talayna's lasagna, which he absolutely LOVES. He has spent several nights here and we have just really enjoyed our time together. I haven't heard those three words again though. That sometimes makes me wonder, was it something he really meant to say...perhaps it really was the alcohol and "activities" that made him say it. Ah well, only time will tell I suppose.
Anyhow, we spent Christmas at The Officer's house, even though she had to work as usual. As a correctional officer, her schedule is M-F 645a-3p...PERIOD!! Regardless of what holiday it is. We had a great time there. It was really good this year. It sometimes make me sad, because seeing as Grandmother is 87 years old...I wonder how much longer we will have her at our gatherings. Blessedly, the women in our family can live to be pretty "up there", so we may have quite a few more years at this rate! :-) I really didn't do any shopping for anyone outside the kids this year. I just didn't really have it to spare, trying to make sure the bills are paid is what matters most. My phone was acting up, and I misconnected with Wayne that day, he wanted to come by and see Starr for Christmas. Oops! Mind you, he hasn't made it since then either!
New Year's Eve is just around the corner. I can say that, although I am not where I want to be right now (especially financially), I can definitely see the strides I have made since last year this time! For that I feel blessed. I have made some mistakes this year, of which I will forgive myself for and move on. Most importantly, I will allow myself to trust God more and follow His lead instead of my own. I believe that single decision will help me achieve my business goals in record time this year!
Because I have some things on my mind and heart right...and because I am PMSing...I will end this post now before it becomes very neagtive and depressing. God Bless and Keep you til the end of all time!
Anyway, he got into town before Christmas and is able to stay until after New Year's so that's exciting! Though, because he says he's going to church, I won't be able to spend that night with him. It's been really great having him here though. We have spent a pretty good amount of time together. We went to the movies the other day while Leigh watched all the children for me. Then we came home and ate some Talayna's lasagna, which he absolutely LOVES. He has spent several nights here and we have just really enjoyed our time together. I haven't heard those three words again though. That sometimes makes me wonder, was it something he really meant to say...perhaps it really was the alcohol and "activities" that made him say it. Ah well, only time will tell I suppose.
Anyhow, we spent Christmas at The Officer's house, even though she had to work as usual. As a correctional officer, her schedule is M-F 645a-3p...PERIOD!! Regardless of what holiday it is. We had a great time there. It was really good this year. It sometimes make me sad, because seeing as Grandmother is 87 years old...I wonder how much longer we will have her at our gatherings. Blessedly, the women in our family can live to be pretty "up there", so we may have quite a few more years at this rate! :-) I really didn't do any shopping for anyone outside the kids this year. I just didn't really have it to spare, trying to make sure the bills are paid is what matters most. My phone was acting up, and I misconnected with Wayne that day, he wanted to come by and see Starr for Christmas. Oops! Mind you, he hasn't made it since then either!
New Year's Eve is just around the corner. I can say that, although I am not where I want to be right now (especially financially), I can definitely see the strides I have made since last year this time! For that I feel blessed. I have made some mistakes this year, of which I will forgive myself for and move on. Most importantly, I will allow myself to trust God more and follow His lead instead of my own. I believe that single decision will help me achieve my business goals in record time this year!
Because I have some things on my mind and heart right...and because I am PMSing...I will end this post now before it becomes very neagtive and depressing. God Bless and Keep you til the end of all time!
December 11, 2008
I Saw Him Today...
My father that is. I was reading a wonderful book by a Christian author named Karen Kinsgbury titled One Tuesday Morning last night. I was just finishing up, and was very emotional. Then one of the characters said something about seeing his father that he hadn't seen in years because life is too short, I thought about mine.
So I course I knew it was only God Who could've crossed our paths the next morning!
The sad thing is, we were just 2 cars passing on the road, but I saw him and he didn't see me. Still when the words left my so naturally saying, 'Wow, that was my father. I'm gonna have to go see him soon', I lost it!! Before I knew it, there were tears welling up in my eyes. I was breaking down fast.
I thought I was over that man. I thought just shutting him out of my life was working. Then when I found out he had throat cancer, I even accepted the fact that he would not be alive much longer. It was a bit of a relief because then I wouldn't have to deal with it for too much longer. But seeing him just brought it all back. The monumental disappointment and hurt and heartbrokeness that has evolved into anger after so many years...it's back. I can't even say I love him, I am so pissed at him for screwing me up the way he did! For making me feel never good enough. For showing me that I didn't mean more to him than someone else's child did. For us never having any kind of real relationship. Just anger is all that remains. So my logic is, if the mere existence of someone makesyou feel bad everytime you see them, then you cut them out of your life. Who wants to voluntarily be mad and hurt and disappointed, you know??
I now realize that God doesn't want me to just bury the pain, He wants me to be released from it. I now know that the only way that can happen is for me to confront him and tell him how he has made me feel all these years. That is probably going to be the hardest conversation I have ever had to have. But there is one thing I know for sure: I can all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
I have only one expectation out of this talk: that I will be free. I don't expect (or even believe) that the relationship can/will change between us. That worked for the bff...but she also got the (great) stepfather that I never did too, so I know better than to expect that. I just want to have said what I need to say to the person that caused me pain and then move on. If I decide to talk to him or still see him after that point, that will be fine too. Whatever God tells me to do, because that's the Father that I know has my best intentions at heart.
So I course I knew it was only God Who could've crossed our paths the next morning!
The sad thing is, we were just 2 cars passing on the road, but I saw him and he didn't see me. Still when the words left my so naturally saying, 'Wow, that was my father. I'm gonna have to go see him soon', I lost it!! Before I knew it, there were tears welling up in my eyes. I was breaking down fast.
I thought I was over that man. I thought just shutting him out of my life was working. Then when I found out he had throat cancer, I even accepted the fact that he would not be alive much longer. It was a bit of a relief because then I wouldn't have to deal with it for too much longer. But seeing him just brought it all back. The monumental disappointment and hurt and heartbrokeness that has evolved into anger after so many years...it's back. I can't even say I love him, I am so pissed at him for screwing me up the way he did! For making me feel never good enough. For showing me that I didn't mean more to him than someone else's child did. For us never having any kind of real relationship. Just anger is all that remains. So my logic is, if the mere existence of someone makesyou feel bad everytime you see them, then you cut them out of your life. Who wants to voluntarily be mad and hurt and disappointed, you know??
I now realize that God doesn't want me to just bury the pain, He wants me to be released from it. I now know that the only way that can happen is for me to confront him and tell him how he has made me feel all these years. That is probably going to be the hardest conversation I have ever had to have. But there is one thing I know for sure: I can all things through Christ who strengthens me (Philippians 4:13).
I have only one expectation out of this talk: that I will be free. I don't expect (or even believe) that the relationship can/will change between us. That worked for the bff...but she also got the (great) stepfather that I never did too, so I know better than to expect that. I just want to have said what I need to say to the person that caused me pain and then move on. If I decide to talk to him or still see him after that point, that will be fine too. Whatever God tells me to do, because that's the Father that I know has my best intentions at heart.
November 29, 2008
Getting Back in the Habit Is Hard!
So I was supposedly going to be really catching up with my blogging, huh? That worked out well didn't it? :-)
Thanksgiving was nice. We did the usual, potluck-style dinner that we always do. It was at my aunt's house this year. We rotate between houses, mine hasn't been on the list yet though. But man, when it is my turn... I'll be ready!
I have so much to say, I just don't where to start honestly! My business isn't any further along than it was before. I am still stuck mentally!! I have gotten involved with an old friend from high school's new business. He is opening a wrestling training center and fitness gym for those seriously interested in working out. He spent 5 years in the WWF (now known as WWE), plus has multiple World KickBoxing Titles to his credit. He definitely has the credentials and the heart, plus he also has God helping him fulfill this dream as well. Honestly I have been doing more running around helping him in the last couple of weeks than I have done for my own in the last several months!
Yes. It is really sad. I know.
I did design a new color brochure for my business. I am very pleased with it! I bought ink and paper, as I will be printing them off myself. Guess all that's left is distribution, huh?
Yeah, yeah....I'm almost there!
Thanksgiving was nice. We did the usual, potluck-style dinner that we always do. It was at my aunt's house this year. We rotate between houses, mine hasn't been on the list yet though. But man, when it is my turn... I'll be ready!
I have so much to say, I just don't where to start honestly! My business isn't any further along than it was before. I am still stuck mentally!! I have gotten involved with an old friend from high school's new business. He is opening a wrestling training center and fitness gym for those seriously interested in working out. He spent 5 years in the WWF (now known as WWE), plus has multiple World KickBoxing Titles to his credit. He definitely has the credentials and the heart, plus he also has God helping him fulfill this dream as well. Honestly I have been doing more running around helping him in the last couple of weeks than I have done for my own in the last several months!
Yes. It is really sad. I know.
I did design a new color brochure for my business. I am very pleased with it! I bought ink and paper, as I will be printing them off myself. Guess all that's left is distribution, huh?
Yeah, yeah....I'm almost there!
September 10, 2008
The Memphis Weekend in Review
I am back from my trip...and sore as hell too! My back hurts to the touch (there was a barstool - and that's all I have to say about that one), not to mention most of the muscles from my shoulders to abs to thighs to calves are sore.
Wait! Don't get me wrong. I am certainly NOT complaining!! Not with this huge Smiley-X (ref Jack Nicholson's Joker) smile on my face!
We had a good time this weekend. We enjoyed each other's company. We played a few rounds of Scene-It (we're both major movie buffs). I cooked for him and spoiled him like I always do. He even had to leave a few times to hit the office because it was his weekend to be "on call" - complete with the BatPhone, as I called it! He told me as he pointed to the phone: "This phone has to be answered when it rings. No matter what's going on, no matter what we're doing. I have to stop and answer this phone." We both jumped a couple of times when it was ringing, but all was well.
Now, in between all that other excitement, there was lots and lots of sex to be had! We were both actually tired of that three letter word by the time I left on Sunday afternoon! Monday morning was a different story though! :-) All I looked forward to when I got home was a good old-fashioned soak in the tub with some Epsom salts for my aching muscles! If it wasn't for a shame, I could have used a sitz bath too for another part! LOL
We also had a very good talk while I was there. There were a lot of issues that I have been dealing with and things I wanted to say but were erroneously afraid to. I felt I was ready to ask if we had a viable shot at a relationship at some point. So I did. I was ready to point out any concerns about the ready-made family that comes with me in the package. So I did. I felt I was ready to ask about any concerns he had about me getting the reversal surgery and it not working. So I did. I wanted to know what happens after his divorce is final in a few months. You know, will he want to play the field to officially celebrate his "freedom"? Or, would he be ready to commit to another relationship at that point? So I asked those questions. I liked the brutally honest answers I got. I do not feel at any point that I was told what he thought I wanted to hear. Because truly more than anything else, I want the truth to best of his ability...and he knows that.
I was finally not afraid to express my true feelings for him. I have been so concerned about "being there by myself", that I wouldn't even admit to myself that I love him. Others close to me can see it though...including Wayne, who told me that about a month ago. Dante told me he's been wondering why I haven't said anything in all this time, because he remembers me saying I am typically 'quick to fall'. I told him partly because I trying to be hard and partly because I was afraid of loving someone who didn't love me back. His response to that, you ask? "I never said I didn't love you."
Didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I! It was a pleasant surprise though, that's for sure. Now, what has changed since that, you wonder? Nothing. We don't end conversations with I love you or anything like that. The relationship still is not at that stage I don't believe. What this talk did was answer (a little more than I expected) the burning question for me whether Dante and I really have a good chance at a long-term relationship. I am happy to report that the answer there is yes! Time and some effort will take it further at a later point.
So, short-but-sweet and very productive weekend I just had. I was a little miffed driving home, because my sister called to see what time I had left and what time I should arrive. That made me decide that I will find alternative sources of babysitting, and that we will do more halfway point trips as well. We're committed to giving it a shot, and that's all any of us really ask for isn't it?
p.s. I have also decided to withdraw from the one-night-a-week-for-four-hours classes at Lindenwood, and get things on track at Park University to complete my online degree as originally planned. If a weekend in 8 months time is an issue, I can't see the once a week thing going over too readily either!
Wait! Don't get me wrong. I am certainly NOT complaining!! Not with this huge Smiley-X (ref Jack Nicholson's Joker) smile on my face!
We had a good time this weekend. We enjoyed each other's company. We played a few rounds of Scene-It (we're both major movie buffs). I cooked for him and spoiled him like I always do. He even had to leave a few times to hit the office because it was his weekend to be "on call" - complete with the BatPhone, as I called it! He told me as he pointed to the phone: "This phone has to be answered when it rings. No matter what's going on, no matter what we're doing. I have to stop and answer this phone." We both jumped a couple of times when it was ringing, but all was well.
Now, in between all that other excitement, there was lots and lots of sex to be had! We were both actually tired of that three letter word by the time I left on Sunday afternoon! Monday morning was a different story though! :-) All I looked forward to when I got home was a good old-fashioned soak in the tub with some Epsom salts for my aching muscles! If it wasn't for a shame, I could have used a sitz bath too for another part! LOL
We also had a very good talk while I was there. There were a lot of issues that I have been dealing with and things I wanted to say but were erroneously afraid to. I felt I was ready to ask if we had a viable shot at a relationship at some point. So I did. I was ready to point out any concerns about the ready-made family that comes with me in the package. So I did. I felt I was ready to ask about any concerns he had about me getting the reversal surgery and it not working. So I did. I wanted to know what happens after his divorce is final in a few months. You know, will he want to play the field to officially celebrate his "freedom"? Or, would he be ready to commit to another relationship at that point? So I asked those questions. I liked the brutally honest answers I got. I do not feel at any point that I was told what he thought I wanted to hear. Because truly more than anything else, I want the truth to best of his ability...and he knows that.
I was finally not afraid to express my true feelings for him. I have been so concerned about "being there by myself", that I wouldn't even admit to myself that I love him. Others close to me can see it though...including Wayne, who told me that about a month ago. Dante told me he's been wondering why I haven't said anything in all this time, because he remembers me saying I am typically 'quick to fall'. I told him partly because I trying to be hard and partly because I was afraid of loving someone who didn't love me back. His response to that, you ask? "I never said I didn't love you."
Didn't see that coming did you? Neither did I! It was a pleasant surprise though, that's for sure. Now, what has changed since that, you wonder? Nothing. We don't end conversations with I love you or anything like that. The relationship still is not at that stage I don't believe. What this talk did was answer (a little more than I expected) the burning question for me whether Dante and I really have a good chance at a long-term relationship. I am happy to report that the answer there is yes! Time and some effort will take it further at a later point.
So, short-but-sweet and very productive weekend I just had. I was a little miffed driving home, because my sister called to see what time I had left and what time I should arrive. That made me decide that I will find alternative sources of babysitting, and that we will do more halfway point trips as well. We're committed to giving it a shot, and that's all any of us really ask for isn't it?
p.s. I have also decided to withdraw from the one-night-a-week-for-four-hours classes at Lindenwood, and get things on track at Park University to complete my online degree as originally planned. If a weekend in 8 months time is an issue, I can't see the once a week thing going over too readily either!
September 4, 2008
Going to see my Punkin!!
It was a bit touch and go...but I am going to see my sweetie this weekend!!
Touch and go is code word for babysitting issues, as usual! Shocking, I know!
I asked my sister Leigh on Sunday, and explained to her that it was a big deal for me to go to Memphis. I haven't been down there since the last time I wrote about in what -January??!?! So you'd think watching my kids for a weekend would be no big deal considering you watched our other sister's kids for a whole week, right?
WRONG!
Same drama, different month. What I wanted to do was leave at about 12noon on Friday, and be there when he got home from work. Makes it a little hard though, when I am the designated children-picker-upper though! Then my sister tells me she'll babysit, but she doesn't want to give up her whole weekend. So as a compromise, I agreed to just leave early Saturday morning, and be back by about 6p on Sunday.
Do you know how pissed off and highly annoyed I am?? Yeah, yeah I know as some have said : She could have said no altogether. But let me explain this to you: Pretty much whenever my kids spend the night at my sister's house, I am there bright and early the next morning to retrieve them. I do that usually because I am made to feel that way. That's just for a quick overnight thing. I had my kids in Y camp all summer long. I didn't just assume that because she was off the summer, she would babysit them and I would just pay her something. I could have put her name on the CHASI as child care giver so she could have made that money. No, because sometimes it's about more than money. But I feel like, because my other sister over-burdened her the summer with her girls...then finished off the summer right before school started with a full-weeks vacation to Key West without her kids, I have to pay for that now.
Some parts of me are not as pissed as I am hurt, because I really shared with her that I want to put forth the effort to spend more time together, so that we can see if we have a viable option at a strong relationship. I think we do - even with some of the obvious obstacles - and so does he, but we are ready to delve a little further, perhaps moving past seeing each other once a month.
I am still going, almost nothing could keep me from that. We both need the time. There's some stuff I want to talk about, and really, I just can't wait for us to be in that space together again.
What I will say though, is I would rather just take my kids with me when I go, than to worry about them being such an inconvenience to someone else for a couple of days. I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
Touch and go is code word for babysitting issues, as usual! Shocking, I know!
I asked my sister Leigh on Sunday, and explained to her that it was a big deal for me to go to Memphis. I haven't been down there since the last time I wrote about in what -January??!?! So you'd think watching my kids for a weekend would be no big deal considering you watched our other sister's kids for a whole week, right?
WRONG!
Same drama, different month. What I wanted to do was leave at about 12noon on Friday, and be there when he got home from work. Makes it a little hard though, when I am the designated children-picker-upper though! Then my sister tells me she'll babysit, but she doesn't want to give up her whole weekend. So as a compromise, I agreed to just leave early Saturday morning, and be back by about 6p on Sunday.
Do you know how pissed off and highly annoyed I am?? Yeah, yeah I know as some have said : She could have said no altogether. But let me explain this to you: Pretty much whenever my kids spend the night at my sister's house, I am there bright and early the next morning to retrieve them. I do that usually because I am made to feel that way. That's just for a quick overnight thing. I had my kids in Y camp all summer long. I didn't just assume that because she was off the summer, she would babysit them and I would just pay her something. I could have put her name on the CHASI as child care giver so she could have made that money. No, because sometimes it's about more than money. But I feel like, because my other sister over-burdened her the summer with her girls...then finished off the summer right before school started with a full-weeks vacation to Key West without her kids, I have to pay for that now.
Some parts of me are not as pissed as I am hurt, because I really shared with her that I want to put forth the effort to spend more time together, so that we can see if we have a viable option at a strong relationship. I think we do - even with some of the obvious obstacles - and so does he, but we are ready to delve a little further, perhaps moving past seeing each other once a month.
I am still going, almost nothing could keep me from that. We both need the time. There's some stuff I want to talk about, and really, I just can't wait for us to be in that space together again.
What I will say though, is I would rather just take my kids with me when I go, than to worry about them being such an inconvenience to someone else for a couple of days. I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks.
August 31, 2008
New Look
I haven't taken pics of the new 'do yet! But I did what I said I was gonna do. I relaxed it, then cut and styled it. Nothing major...except for the 3 inches I removed from the front for bangs! Okay, it was more like about 4 and a half inches, actually. But I am very pleased with the outcome! It was the change I said I needed. Now, I need to perfect the face look and work on the body, and I will be good to go!
So, I am writing it down and making a commitment right here and now. Remember waaaay back when I was doing the crunches thing? Yeah, well. No more excuses. No more BS. It will be done!
Here's the drill: Start out Week 1 with 50 am and 50 pm. Week 2 is 75 am and 75 pm. Week 3 is 100 am and 100 pm. Week 4 is 125 am and 125 pm. That's where I max out and maintain permanently at 250 crunches per day. To make it even better, I am starting it on a Monday! I did it before, I can surely do it again!
We took the kids apple and peach picking yesterday. They had a good time. Then we went down to Grandmother's and visited with her and mom. All 3 girls were there with out kids, less my oldest niece as usual (she was sick). We got some chinese food at the infamous 'Orange Rice House'. That's not the name of it, but the building has been there and orange since I was a kid, so that name is more recognizable. I called my friend RT since he lived less than a block away. He walked over to see me while we were waiting on the food to be done. He is such a retard! Even though were all growed up now with kids and bills and households and stuff, talking to him takes me back to being a 14-year-old kid again! There is no kind of romantic interest there. I mean honestly, I really only have eyes for one person nowadays. (Okay, two if you count Dwayne Johnson!) But we can be friends and talk about the kids and parenting and just life in general, and it's even better without that bogus sexual tension/pressure that so many men and women feel around each other.
Anywho, we stayed over Grandmother's about an hour or so, then we all headed home. Me and the kids lounged for the most part today, less DJ who is with his dad. Yeah, Mr. I-Just-Up-And-Moved-To-Kansas City-Without-A-Job-Or-Any-Known-Reason came into town for the weekend! I leisurely did laundry. I bought breakfast at McDonald's this morning, then went to the Farmer's Market for a few things. I worked with Starr outside for about 30min trying to teach her to ride a bike. She allows herself to get so frustrated, which I am starting to believe is my fault for being so hard on her. That's another story though, I am working my way through that one. It was hot and everyone was sweating and she was getting careless, so we came in the house. As I assured her, there will be other days and giving up is not an option.
Words to live by...
So, I am writing it down and making a commitment right here and now. Remember waaaay back when I was doing the crunches thing? Yeah, well. No more excuses. No more BS. It will be done!
Here's the drill: Start out Week 1 with 50 am and 50 pm. Week 2 is 75 am and 75 pm. Week 3 is 100 am and 100 pm. Week 4 is 125 am and 125 pm. That's where I max out and maintain permanently at 250 crunches per day. To make it even better, I am starting it on a Monday! I did it before, I can surely do it again!
We took the kids apple and peach picking yesterday. They had a good time. Then we went down to Grandmother's and visited with her and mom. All 3 girls were there with out kids, less my oldest niece as usual (she was sick). We got some chinese food at the infamous 'Orange Rice House'. That's not the name of it, but the building has been there and orange since I was a kid, so that name is more recognizable. I called my friend RT since he lived less than a block away. He walked over to see me while we were waiting on the food to be done. He is such a retard! Even though were all growed up now with kids and bills and households and stuff, talking to him takes me back to being a 14-year-old kid again! There is no kind of romantic interest there. I mean honestly, I really only have eyes for one person nowadays. (Okay, two if you count Dwayne Johnson!) But we can be friends and talk about the kids and parenting and just life in general, and it's even better without that bogus sexual tension/pressure that so many men and women feel around each other.
Anywho, we stayed over Grandmother's about an hour or so, then we all headed home. Me and the kids lounged for the most part today, less DJ who is with his dad. Yeah, Mr. I-Just-Up-And-Moved-To-Kansas City-Without-A-Job-Or-Any-Known-Reason came into town for the weekend! I leisurely did laundry. I bought breakfast at McDonald's this morning, then went to the Farmer's Market for a few things. I worked with Starr outside for about 30min trying to teach her to ride a bike. She allows herself to get so frustrated, which I am starting to believe is my fault for being so hard on her. That's another story though, I am working my way through that one. It was hot and everyone was sweating and she was getting careless, so we came in the house. As I assured her, there will be other days and giving up is not an option.
Words to live by...
July 11, 2008
First Full Week!
You'd think I'd be blogging more since I have so much extra time, huh?
This week was fine, it was kinda hectic since I am still on scavenger hours. But next week's schedule is a little more comfortably set, though still quite a few evenings. The following week's schedule is absolutely fabulous! I couldn't have asked for better! I set my own schedules, by the way. But for the week of the 20th was the first time since I've been working this client that I have been there the minute the new shifts were offered! It's a date every week from now on!
I did receive my unemployment papers in the mail yesterday. I will not be making terribly much less than I was making working 40 hours a week! Go me!! I didn't go to the "free food and medical" office like I said I would early this morning, and so I have to wait until Monday morning. Gotta go first thing, because I have to be on the phones at 10a. Otherwise it will be when I am off the phones at 11a.
Speaking of phones, I finally got my second line installed on Wednesday...by Starr's grandfather!! The same person I was trying to get to come and do it in his off time! Whatever, it's done! They are not the most reliable, even I know that! We talked, I gave him a picture of Starr when I first did her hair that I printed out, all was well.
Haven't put exercising into my schedule yet like I want to, but it's coming! It has to, since it is a very vital piece of the reducing my blood pressure goal.
Off to cook dinner before I am back on the phones at 9p. Just think, at this rate, my business may be in the black by the end of the month!
This week was fine, it was kinda hectic since I am still on scavenger hours. But next week's schedule is a little more comfortably set, though still quite a few evenings. The following week's schedule is absolutely fabulous! I couldn't have asked for better! I set my own schedules, by the way. But for the week of the 20th was the first time since I've been working this client that I have been there the minute the new shifts were offered! It's a date every week from now on!
I did receive my unemployment papers in the mail yesterday. I will not be making terribly much less than I was making working 40 hours a week! Go me!! I didn't go to the "free food and medical" office like I said I would early this morning, and so I have to wait until Monday morning. Gotta go first thing, because I have to be on the phones at 10a. Otherwise it will be when I am off the phones at 11a.
Speaking of phones, I finally got my second line installed on Wednesday...by Starr's grandfather!! The same person I was trying to get to come and do it in his off time! Whatever, it's done! They are not the most reliable, even I know that! We talked, I gave him a picture of Starr when I first did her hair that I printed out, all was well.
Haven't put exercising into my schedule yet like I want to, but it's coming! It has to, since it is a very vital piece of the reducing my blood pressure goal.
Off to cook dinner before I am back on the phones at 9p. Just think, at this rate, my business may be in the black by the end of the month!
July 7, 2008
My Independence Day (Very) Extended Weekend -- in Review!
Long title huh?
So Thursday was mainly about just enjoying the day off, then going to "find" money to pay rent. I did it, it's done. I will pay for it later. BUT! Me and my children have a secure roof over our heads...and that's all that matters! And by enjoying the day off, I mean my punkin came to town and we had a kidless house in which to make up for lost time!!
On July 4th, we reluctantly went down to my grandmother's, who had just 2 days before insisted she was doing nothing for the holiday! Mind you, the day of, she calls everybody to find out what time they're coming down! lol Saying no isn't really an option.
The kids bugged me like crazy because they knew we were going to Leigh's house for fireworks, as we do every year. We were able to locate a place that had fireworks for sale, and I bought some. DJ was with his dad, but insisted he would be there for fireworks. Indeed he was too!! I got there to see the last half of I Am Legend, which I hadn't seen since Dante and I saw it at the theatre in Memphis.
There was a grand turnout this year for the festivities! Lots of adults, and even more kids! No injuries whatsoever, some very cool fireworks, and a great time had by all. My sister even said she would watch all the kids overnight, just cause they wanted to stay. It was past midnight when I left though, and I told her I'd be back by 830a. So I sent Dante a text message that said: 3 words - kidless til morning! Unfortunately I didn't see him til morning, but as always it was worth the wait! He was very excited because he was going to a Cards/Cubs game at Busch Stadium that day with his uncle. He is a HUGE Cards/Rams fan...complete with the front license plate thingy to prove it! He hadn't been to a game since 2006, before his (prayerfully last) deployment to Iraq. So I was excited for him!
I got to Leigh's and the kids weren't even up yet, so we talked for a couple of hours. I left there at noon and headed to the Officer's house to watch her bunch while she went to one of the home stores. Yes, that's right...she finally got moved into her place! I am very happy for her!
I got home on Saturday only to discover why my car had been bouncing so badly! My front driver-side tire was missing whole chunks out of it!! Considering I had been on the highway, it was an absolute blessing that I didn't have a blowout on the road!! The bonus is, I got another tire for a decent price installed...AND I found someone to install my brakes! One of the workers there does other mechanic work on the side. So, he lived not too far from my grandmother, so I arranged to go down on Sunday before work to have that done. No more squeaking! Woohoo! I can put my car magnets on now!!
I didn't do so good last night with work because one of the systems I use kept freezing up my whole computer! But I have learned the trick to get past that now! Today was pretty good though! I went to file my unemployment insurance claim this morning, first thing. I scheduled a technician to come out Wednesday to install the jack for my 2nd line. I went to Applebee's and enjoyed a very moderately-priced lunch. I bought a calcium/magnesium supplement to take 3 times daily to help naturally reduce my hypertension.
I am excited about what lay on the horizon for me honestly! I have a few more appointments to make for the next week or so, like WIC and food stamps. Yep, that's right! My taxes pay into that system...isn't now the time for me to get some kind of ROI?? Also SCORE and Women's Business Dev. Cntr in St. Louis. I want to look into becoming a certified MBE/WME (women- and minority-owned).
Thanks to God again for making me "Get Outta The Boat!"
So Thursday was mainly about just enjoying the day off, then going to "find" money to pay rent. I did it, it's done. I will pay for it later. BUT! Me and my children have a secure roof over our heads...and that's all that matters! And by enjoying the day off, I mean my punkin came to town and we had a kidless house in which to make up for lost time!!
On July 4th, we reluctantly went down to my grandmother's, who had just 2 days before insisted she was doing nothing for the holiday! Mind you, the day of, she calls everybody to find out what time they're coming down! lol Saying no isn't really an option.
The kids bugged me like crazy because they knew we were going to Leigh's house for fireworks, as we do every year. We were able to locate a place that had fireworks for sale, and I bought some. DJ was with his dad, but insisted he would be there for fireworks. Indeed he was too!! I got there to see the last half of I Am Legend, which I hadn't seen since Dante and I saw it at the theatre in Memphis.
There was a grand turnout this year for the festivities! Lots of adults, and even more kids! No injuries whatsoever, some very cool fireworks, and a great time had by all. My sister even said she would watch all the kids overnight, just cause they wanted to stay. It was past midnight when I left though, and I told her I'd be back by 830a. So I sent Dante a text message that said: 3 words - kidless til morning! Unfortunately I didn't see him til morning, but as always it was worth the wait! He was very excited because he was going to a Cards/Cubs game at Busch Stadium that day with his uncle. He is a HUGE Cards/Rams fan...complete with the front license plate thingy to prove it! He hadn't been to a game since 2006, before his (prayerfully last) deployment to Iraq. So I was excited for him!
I got to Leigh's and the kids weren't even up yet, so we talked for a couple of hours. I left there at noon and headed to the Officer's house to watch her bunch while she went to one of the home stores. Yes, that's right...she finally got moved into her place! I am very happy for her!
I got home on Saturday only to discover why my car had been bouncing so badly! My front driver-side tire was missing whole chunks out of it!! Considering I had been on the highway, it was an absolute blessing that I didn't have a blowout on the road!! The bonus is, I got another tire for a decent price installed...AND I found someone to install my brakes! One of the workers there does other mechanic work on the side. So, he lived not too far from my grandmother, so I arranged to go down on Sunday before work to have that done. No more squeaking! Woohoo! I can put my car magnets on now!!
I didn't do so good last night with work because one of the systems I use kept freezing up my whole computer! But I have learned the trick to get past that now! Today was pretty good though! I went to file my unemployment insurance claim this morning, first thing. I scheduled a technician to come out Wednesday to install the jack for my 2nd line. I went to Applebee's and enjoyed a very moderately-priced lunch. I bought a calcium/magnesium supplement to take 3 times daily to help naturally reduce my hypertension.
I am excited about what lay on the horizon for me honestly! I have a few more appointments to make for the next week or so, like WIC and food stamps. Yep, that's right! My taxes pay into that system...isn't now the time for me to get some kind of ROI?? Also SCORE and Women's Business Dev. Cntr in St. Louis. I want to look into becoming a certified MBE/WME (women- and minority-owned).
Thanks to God again for making me "Get Outta The Boat!"
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)