Going to see my Punkin!!

It was a bit touch and go...but I am going to see my sweetie this weekend!!

Touch and go is code word for babysitting issues, as usual! Shocking, I know!

I asked my sister Leigh on Sunday, and explained to her that it was a big deal for me to go to Memphis. I haven't been down there since the last time I wrote about in what -January??!?! So you'd think watching my kids for a weekend would be no big deal considering you watched our other sister's kids for a whole week, right?

WRONG!

Same drama, different month. What I wanted to do was leave at about 12noon on Friday, and be there when he got home from work. Makes it a little hard though, when I am the designated children-picker-upper though! Then my sister tells me she'll babysit, but she doesn't want to give up her whole weekend. So as a compromise, I agreed to just leave early Saturday morning, and be back by about 6p on Sunday.

Do you know how pissed off and highly annoyed I am?? Yeah, yeah I know as some have said : She could have said no altogether. But let me explain this to you: Pretty much whenever my kids spend the night at my sister's house, I am there bright and early the next morning to retrieve them. I do that usually because I am made to feel that way. That's just for a quick overnight thing. I had my kids in Y camp all summer long. I didn't just assume that because she was off the summer, she would babysit them and I would just pay her something. I could have put her name on the CHASI as child care giver so she could have made that money. No, because sometimes it's about more than money. But I feel like, because my other sister over-burdened her the summer with her girls...then finished off the summer right before school started with a full-weeks vacation to Key West without her kids, I have to pay for that now.

Some parts of me are not as pissed as I am hurt, because I really shared with her that I want to put forth the effort to spend more time together, so that we can see if we have a viable option at a strong relationship. I think we do - even with some of the obvious obstacles - and so does he, but we are ready to delve a little further, perhaps moving past seeing each other once a month.

I am still going, almost nothing could keep me from that. We both need the time. There's some stuff I want to talk about, and really, I just can't wait for us to be in that space together again.

What I will say though, is I would rather just take my kids with me when I go, than to worry about them being such an inconvenience to someone else for a couple of days. I'll talk to him about it and see what he thinks.