Guess Who?

Let's just pretend the last 2+ months didn't happen, shall we?

Here's the Cliff Note version:

Still with Dante. Situation is the same. I screwed up my grades and schoolwork after the helluva year I had, so now I'm on academic and financial aid probation. My ex-husband flaked on our lump-sum child support deal. Unemployment ran out. My mother had to cover my rent for July out of her disability check. I've started a new work assignment doing online chat with AT&T, and have had my cable internet turned off 3 times now during. My admin business website no longer exists, after several years. My travel biz is currently defunct...especially since I can't keep my cell phone on which is the business number. I have no money.

Yep, that pretty much sums that up. On to new things then.

Tired of living this way. I know I have said it so many times before. SO. MANY. But I have to get this preprogrammed thought of lack and struggle out of my self-conscious. I even listen to a motivational mantra on my iPod while sleeping sometimes. Ok, not sometimes. Basically every night I sleep alone. I want to change. I need to change. I believe I can change. I will change.

Most importantly, I will learn to shut the hell up! I can't tell everyone about the things I dream and believe are for me from my Heavenly Father. Honestly, I can't tell most to be frank. My family thinks they are being encouraging, but they come from the same FEAR-laced cloth that I do. When they talk to me about "reality", they actually think they're being helpful rather than the detriment they actually are. Sometimes to the point of "dreamkillers", and who needs that?? I can talk to the BFF about these things, but that's about it. Dante will listen, but even that only goes so far. It's a strange relationship, but he definitely has my back when I need him, and vice versa. It would all be so much simpler if he just allowed that to be enough, but he is a man and 'simple' only describes their mindset, NOT the way they make their situations!

Anywho, I'm on a desperate and determined, focused and fantastic path to get to the life and to the financial level I want to be at. It is not down here where I am now. That will be the focus of most of my blogs henceforth. Me, the Delightful Children, my financial health, this house, my business and/or employment ventures and of course my faith...and for the most part, that's it. I'm all about the positive and progressive directions right now.

Just wanted to put that on the record.