Rainy Days

Today was a dreary rainy day. I don't do well on dreary rainy days.
Seriously.
My mood goes all screwy. I'm still good on the phones for my clients, but I'm "off" attitude-wise.

Then it doesn't help that The New Guy has thrown me a serious curve ball. I really don't know what to think. Here's the skinny:

He told me he has feelings for someone else, as well as me. He said this came about very unexpectedly. Someone he has known for a very long time, they go to the same church together, there has been a mutual attraction for some time now. WTH?!?!?!?! I have not talked to him in a few days, as he has requested time to think things through. I had made my profile unsearchable on both dating sites I was on, and I told him so. I even answered 'the question' right before this happened, agreeing to be his girlfriend. But apparently this other person surfaced before I did, and he was already getting confused.

He has apologized profusely. He says that nothing has happened between them, that their attraction has been discussed. But, it was enough to make him reconsider us being together. He is not dumping me by any means. But he has also admitted that he wouldn't blame me if I didn't wait for him to figure things out. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and I am trying to give him the space he needs to figure this out. I am not being a doormat, I promise. I understand how it feels to be torn -even if only superficially- between two.

Yes I said it. Superficially. I am speaking positiveness into this situation. He said a few things to me today by email that led me to believe he really does want to be with me. Sounds self-delusional doesn't it? But I read somethings in his emails today that flat out let me know this situation is temporary.

No. I'm not putting myself on hold for someone I've known a few weeks.

Yes. I did make my profiles searchable again on the dating sites I belong to.

I will not try to contact him by phone again, until he calls me. I will let him make the moves. I send him an email in the morning to say Good Morning. He can make any additional moves from there.

Now, let me be honest. The connection with him was/is awesome. I have dissected the relationship thus far, and I just hadn't seen any red flags. With the PsychoRev, tons of red flags. At least a gajillion. We have talked about everything but credit, finances and taxes. We know a lot about each other's previous marriages and relationships. I feel like, we just know a lot about each other. I don't feel any different now, and I don't believe he does either. So the word of the week is Patience.

On a lighter note, I have been fasting this week. Well since Tuesday at least. I am going to plan for at least two weeks. I am pretty pleases that I have been making it so far, considering my hypoglycemia. I have been drinking juice, water, and eating apples and oranges throughout the day. Then I eat dinner, and that's that. I am kind of on this corporate fast with my coworker's church. Yes the church I went to before. I am actually proud of the sacrifice I am making. As a symbol of the sacrifices my Savior made for me.

Amen!