Self-Esteem Issues

So I have been going back and forth with my best friend today about a picture of us that I put up on my MySpace page. She can’t stand it and said she looked really ugly and she asked for me to take it down.

That’s how it began. Initially, I’m like, “What’s the BFD? It’s just a picture. None of us were looking that great that day.”

She came back to explain about her childhood of not being told she was pretty….and actually being told the opposite. I totally understand that, and after much debate back and forth, I agreed to take the picture down since it bothered her so much. She still feels I don’t truly understand, but there’s only so much I can do.

Which got me to thinking about my own past and issues with self-esteem. Yes there were quite a few issues. Even for someone as vain as me…there were serious self-esteem issues. I was hung up about my skin color. No, not just being black but being dark-skinned.

I am much better now, but heck, I’m also 33years old too! I was even comfortable with it by high school. How do I know? Because I wasn’t afraid to get darker! I can fondly remember laying out by the pool on base with a few of my girlfriends! The amusing part was watching the unnaturally tan people stare in confusion at the three black girls of varying shades….laying out getting a tan!!!! LOL

Ahhhh, youth!

She said she always thought of me as very confident in my appearance, and for the most part I was. Some of it came from within, but some of it was through the validation of others. Okay…of men! That alone explains my piss-poor choices in men (that and my father) and my promiscuity over the years.

TBC……