Testy, Aren't We?

Did I get comments when I was writing about my life going to hell in a handbasket? Did one "friend" say 'Hey, keep ya head up'? (Okay, well one did. Thanks, MamaMilton!)

BUT, let me vent my feelings about this year's hurt regarding dating, relationships, and my condition? Watch the feathers ruffle!!! Pretty interesting and...in all honesty...downright funny to someone with a twisted sense of humor as mine!

Can't Get Right is trying to change back into The One, but it's hard for me to trust and have faith that he can anymore. That's where my heart is, that's where it has been forever it seems. I guess we will see what he does. I will not pursue - AT ALL. He will have to win this prize once and for all the hard way!

You know what I like about him? He has always loved me for me. Every flaw. Every dark secret (and I have shared them all with him!). Every lie. Every truth. Every hurt. He loves me unconditionally. No matter what, he loves me. Even with my condition, he loves me. His love for me is more than his fear of that. And you know what's so awesome? I feel the same about him! He never had what I have and, in the 10+ years (off and on) we have been dealing with each other, has never acquired it either. I care about him too much to put him at risk. I cared about the New Guy that much too, but the love (that I think we had) was conditional. That's okay, it wasn't meant to be.

There is a lot of dirty, murky, Mississippi-type water under our proverbial 'bridge'. But, I pray for him. I pray that he has decided to start being who he is to be. I pray for his health. I pray for his children and his relationship with them to improve, now that he is deciding to live/love life and not just exist in it. I pray that we finally get it right! I pray that all those who love me and think I'm nuts for still wanting to be with him, accept him into my life and my childrens' lives. I pray that all in our two worlds, finally 'see' what we've been knowing about each other for the last 10 years.

Such a romantic sap, aren't I??


ps - I'll let you know what Dante and I talk about tomorrow after he calls me...