It's time for me to have Time for ME!

Today's topic is familiar to all mothers out there, though I have a special kinship with other solo mommies like myself. I look terrible, and I've been looking terrible for a few weeks now. I will pull my hair back into a ponytail or ball or a claw-type hair clip, and maybe I'll actually comb it through every few days. Wow, when I write it, it really sounds bad! I actually hit my low on Friday when I wore sweats to work!! I felt like such a failure! Now, it's a very casual work environment so for some that is not out of the ordinary attire. But for me, I may as well have been wearing houseshoes! My only saving grace is that I do keep my face looking halfway decent everyday. It helps being naturally cute so really all I need is eyeliner, light foundation and something on my lips. It is truly a blessing, and I am grateful for it. (okay that was slightly vain. Old habits die hard?!)

One of my girlfriends used to go every week without fail to get her hair done. Every week. Without fail. Nope, it's not what you think. She is a single mom too. We were both sans employment at the time. However, in her case she made the decision that $20 a week was worth it. I didn't necessarily have that option. No full-time job and four children means NOTHING FOR MOMMY. But now that I have the money, the motivation isn't there. After working all day and all evening, then half the night too I barely scrape out five minutes for a shower. As for her now that she's working? She also goes to school at night, so she has been to her beautician one time in several months.

This 'no time for me' thing explains my weight gain as well. Yes, my TotalGym XL is still set up in my room. No, I haven't start using it again yet. Okay, okay! I'm gonna start tomorrow! For real! Pinkie promise?

I want to be better though. I want to feel better, look better and be better. I don't feel as pretty or sexy or attractive as I usually do because of the excess weight. So that has affected everything else. So, October 22 starts a new lunar cycle, which is supposed to be a good time to start anything or make changes to yourself. Sound crazy, does it? Go to any ER or OB doctor or police officer and ask them are full moon days different from any others! Then it won't sound so 'psychic hotline' anymore!

I start my spiritual fast tomorrow, which I am excited about. I will relax my hair and clip my ends tomorrow. I will also begin my daily exercise tomorrow. Yeah, the TotalGym and I are about to become intimately acquainted again! I can't wait to post my before and after pictures on November 9 (my birthday)! I still have to figure out the hair thing though. Do-it-myself, microbraids, or beautician weekly? I'll keep you posted!

Today was another fat day, by the way.