A Lazy Day

So, I am feeling really melancholy about Dante headed to Memphis.

Yes, I know it's only 5 hours away max.

Yes, he will be back this weekend for his birthday.

Yes, Kween and I are already planning a trip there before Christmas.

BUT, I don't know where we are, Dante and I.

I mean we talked before, and I told him about Can't Get Right, but then I later told him I wasn't that concerned about him anymore. We agreed that if the other person started seeing someone else, then we would be honest and say something, then just be friends.

BUT, that was before we met. Now that we have met and realized all of the chemistry we had in the virtual world transferred into reality, has things changed? I guess in a way they have, though the basic principles are still the same.

He still lives 5 hours away. I am fimly planted where I am.
He is still in the military for at least another 2 years.
He still wants to have children of his own. I am surgically altered so I can have no more.
We are so alike in so many ways, yet some of the fundamental differences is what keeps me grounded and not trip off into LoveLand (as I have been known to do *ahem* a time or two).

So I should just continue to enjoy this for awhile right? Keep things under control. Don't get too emotionally attached or involved. Let it be what it's gonna be. Nothing more.

I tell myself that daily. But, it will be easier since he will be gone on a more permanent basis. I will admit, I was very comfortable sleeping under him. Even he noticed it and teased me about it! (Don't worry, he was always gone before the kids woke up) All the time that I was involved with Cody, I was never comfortable sleeping with him. I mean like actual catchin' some Zs kinda sleeping. I was on my side, he was on his. But with Dante, I couldn't wait til he got comfortable in a spot so I could snuggle into the space between his arm and his torso! He loved it too though. It's been a while for him with that kind of intimacy. In case you didn't know, sleeping with someone can be a very intimate act. I figured that out because of how I was with Cody. So distant and guarded when it came to the actual sleeping part of the night.

So, all is well that has ended (or been put on hold) very well. Because seriously, at the end of the day, I want to see him happy. If he finds a woman in Memphis and they go on to get married and he finally gets that child he has wanted for a long time, I will be ecstatic. I care about him, I consider him a friend, so I want what he wants. That's just who I am.

We shall see that...the saga continues!