Renewing of the Mind

I've noticed the last couple of days just how off-balance my life is. I've also noticed it's noone's fault but my own. I have been using my job as a crutch and an excuse for far too long.

I really miss being involved in church activities. I can't necessarily I miss it at my church, but I miss it. I miss choir rehearsal. I miss taking the kids to choir rehearsal. I miss going to bible study.

Moreso, I miss the option of being able to do those things. But, when choir rehearsal starts at 6p, and I get off at 6p. Then, I have to go to my sisters' houses and pick up my children, then drive 20min to the church, choir rehearsal is over. But I know this is temporary, though it has been almost a year. I am trying to hang on though.

I feel so disconnected from God. I know that that really doesn't have anything to do with the extra church activities. That has to do with actually going to church 2 times in the last several months, mainly due to my van. That has to do with not studying, or even reading the Word on my own time. That has to do with doing things that are in complete contradiction to what the Holy Spirit is telling me to do (or not do).

Do you know what it's like to feel disconnected from God? Let me tell you, it is not a pleasant feeling. It's like feeling abandoned.....times 700!

So that is my goal, to reconnect with the Father, and to re-align myself with His plan for my life. Everytime I try to run it, I screw it up and end up feeling this way.

Lesson learned.