The Update Post

So actually, I don't have much to say. I took the last two days off work. The initial intent was to get packing and things done but I really did more relaxing than anything! What did I accomplish? Well, let's see:

• I finally got an oil change for my van
• I went to both area Wal-Marts to pick up boxes (on separate days)
• Went to PetsMart for more boxes
• Cleared out my closet (except for things I will sell)
• Fixed the door from the house into the garage
• Washed up most of the clothing in the house
• Began boxing up the kids' closet clothes

You know, little things like that!

In case I haven't said it, yes I did get the duplex that I liked. Now it's a matter of coming up with the money for the deposit. I have simply told my family I will have it, because I don't want them to stress about it too bad. I am off work again on Tuesday, so that will be my "money hunt" day. Originally, I told the people we could meet to sign the lease on Tuesday, but since I'm going to combine payroll with the money I find (which isn't until Friday) I'm gonna have to push that back a few days.

The good thing is that gives me the entire month of July to "recover" before rent is due in August. August is also one of those nifty 3 payday months people love so much. In this case, it means I have both full checks in July to play with, and the 1st and 3rd check in August to cover rent for August and September. However, if something at my job doesn't change real soon, I won't be there in August to enjoy the 3 paydays. I got an email from the other woman working til 6p with me (yes, she's back to her shift now) that our manager tried yet again to get the "powers that be" to change our hours to close at 530p, but they are just not going for it. She said before she knew it she told him, "Well then you're probably gonna lose two more agents soon." She said she just couldn't help herself!

Honestly, I know my manager has done all that he can do. So my next step is to take advantage of the "open door policy" of his manager and explain my viewpoint to her. I'm trying my best to hang in there and build a little longevity, but this is ridiculous! I am toying with the idea of emailing the HR recruiter at the bank I worked temp at downtown St. Louis last year, also emailing my resume to the CEO's admin who I worked with. Something has gotta give, and since I don't think it will be CWT, it's gonna end up being me!

I think the New Guy has gotten himself confused into thinking there's someone else in my life. I think that's been one of the big deals and the reason for the distance. A little while back he read my blog about the day the Commander came over, and TOTALLY FREAKED OUT! Yes, I corrected him on it, but I don't think that helped. It went into the "he's been hurt too many times in the past and he just doesn't think he could handle it again, so he's being really cautious with me" role! Like my heart hasn't been stomped into the ground quite a few damn times either!!! But what he seems to forget is that when I was all gung-ho and thinking things were going great between us, who backed away with a story about wanting to 'pursue other options'? Hmmmmmm. Like I told him, I met the Commander during the time that he kicked me to the curb. If it wasn't for the fact that the Commander wasn't so anti-relationship (from Day One), New Guy wouldn't have been able to come back into my life after leaving me high and dry. But, the Commander and I (just like me and the Major) ARE FRIENDS.

So why do I have to keep jumping through hoops to prove my intentions are for him? Yet all I'm getting from him over the past 2 months is increasing shows of disinterest? Yeah, guess who is feeling like a fool right now? I let my guard down twice with him, and twice got stepped on.

It's funny how those people who are always trying to protect themselves from being hurt, always manage to hurt someone else.

Twice.......