Saying Goodbye

So, now that I have officially exited the other house, I have a few fond memories of it.

 

Yes, they do have to do with sex.

 

Yes, I am going to tell you.

 

But first I will tell you my least fond memory of the house. The day my baby boy fell down the steps. I think I blogged about it. I’ll check when my internet is up at home.

 

My most vivid – but not fond- memory of sex in that house was in the beginning when the PsychoRev came to hit it one last time. He was in a bad emotional state (supposedly) and was contemplating ending his life that night. Before this, I already knew he was emotionally off balance. He wanted to come over and I really didn’t want him to, but ‘what if’ you know? I just couldn’t take that chance. So I let him come over at about 2am. I remember saying a prayer before I opened the door. I figure if he was suicidal, he could have been homicidal as well, and I just didn’t want my kids to find me dead in the morning. But, I let him in.

 

We went straight upstairs to the bedroom and had sex like we usually did. Definitely not bad sex but I just couldn’t get into it. Thank goodness this was one of those times the lights were off and it was dark, so he couldn’t see the tears wetting my face. I was actually afraid. So I let the detached me (known as Nisi, short for my middle name Tonise) go through this with him. Everything turned out fine, he left later that morning, and life moved on. Whew.

 

I made love to The One/Can’t Get Right in that house. We don’t have sex…it’s something way deeper than that. But it’s not good for me, so I don’t do it and haven’t done it in quite a while. I have done a darn good job of suppressing those 10year deep emotions, and will not sabotage that for physical gratification! He’s not mine, he’s still technically married, we are NOT together, and that’s that!!

 

The New Guy and I even had some beautiful moments in that house. The best being non-sexual. All the times we were intimate non-sexually. Just sleeping together, playing Scene It with the kids watching, laying on the couch watching Discovery Channel……

Okay, I’m getting upset thinking about him and how he totally SCREWED UP A PERFECTLY GOOD RELATIONSHIP!!!!!! So I must move on.

 

The most fond memory of all in that house is…..unexplainable. In all my experiences….EVER…..it was the best……EVER. From the couch to the steps to the bed to the chair in my room……WOW. Yes, I did say steps. I wonder will I ever in life be that lucky again. It’s great that I can replay it in my head when I need to, but watching it on a 32-inch TV wouldn’t be so bad either! I’m a Scorpio, what do you expect?

 

I am hoping to be that lucky again…and not before I’m too old to remember what’s like. Come to think of it….not too far from now wouldn’t hurt either.

Once again…..I’m a Scorpio…I have wants and I have needs! My problem is, they are usually the same. And if I can’t have what I want I would rather do without! Damn the astrological chart!!!!