Some Clean Humor

I get these jokes daily from Crosswalk.com. This came today, and I thought it was cute enough to post:

R Troubles

A young schoolboy was having a hard time pronouncing the letter ''R,'' and all the other kids were, of course, teasing him about it. To help him out, the teacher gave him a sentence to practice at home: ''Robert gave Richard a rap in the ribs for roasting the rabbit so rare.''

In class a few days later, the teacher asked the boy to recite the sentence out loud. The boy nervously eyed his classmates--many of them already laughing at him--then replied, ''Bob gave Dick a poke in the side because the bunny wasn't cooked enough.''

Here's another:

Chute Error

While being transported to basic training as a new enlistee of the Air National Guard, I accidentally opened a parachute in the rear of the C-47. The plane was piloted by a major and a captain, and I felt intimidated as I opened the cockpit door to confess what I had done.

Expecting to be severely chastised, I was surprised by the captain's calm response. "Well, son," he said, "if this plane goes down, that chute is yours."

This one was very cute:

Wooden Bayonet

A Civil War soldier, who had lost his bayonet, whittled one from wood so that he could pass inspection. He hoped he would not be discovered until the regiment had gone into battle, where he planned to pick one up from a dead soldier.

At inspection, an officer asked to see his bayonet. The soldier stated, "Sir, I promised my father I would not unsheathe my bayonet unless I intended to kill someone with it." The Officer insisted that the soldier hand over the bayonet.

Taking it out, the soldier looked skyward and said, "May the Lord change my bayonet to wood for breaking my vow."

And lastly, for the travel agent in me:

Rental Description

On duty as a customer-service rep for a car-rental company, I took a call from a driver who needed a tow. He was stranded on a busy highway, but he didn't know the make of the car he was driving. I asked again for a more detailed description beyond "a blue four-door."

After a pause, the driver replied, "It's the one on fire."