I am off work today. Yay!!!
I've done a few things today so far, but nothing major. I sat and ate at IHOP this morning. They have a new spinach and mushroom omelette that was delish!! Had the rest of the pancakes for lunch. I sat and read my current business book, The Girl's Guide to Starting Your Own Business, or at least some of it.
Then I went to Wal-Mart across the street with the main intent to buy cinder blocks for mailbox post. My mailbox post fell over about two weeks ago, after about a month on a wicked 'gangsta-lean', and the postman stopped delivering my mail. After bickering with the postal supervisor, she suggested usind the 2-hole cinder blocks as a temporary fix. Poor thing, she doesn't know my landlord....it WON'T be temporary.
Anyway, they didn't have any, but since I was there I decided to look at the grills. I probably haven't told you about me and grilling yet. Let me say this, I am serious about my grilling. If the family is in the mood for barbecue, I will happily volunteer to do it! When I moved last summer I left my very old and crippled grill behind. No, it was bad. No handle to open it, the grill grate being held up by a long bolt, you get the idea. Plus, I had had it since my first marriage, in 1995!
For this grill, I will be buying a grill cover to help protect it. The coolest thing about it, is Wal-Mart assembles it for free. FREE!
I'm hoping it will be available by this weekend!
I also bought the new Robin Thicke CD. The Major told me if I like real R&B, ie 'grown folks music', this is a must have. So, now I have it!
Speaking of the Major, we had a great time Saturday night. I tell you the truth, as much business as we talked, I could probably write off the meal! He is very encouraging and has a wealth of information, which I soak up like a sponge. We went to Longhorn SteakHouse, where neither of us ate steak! Miss Greedy here even ordered dessert to go! We talked quite a bit. We talked on Sunday before and after his flight home. We are what we are (whatever that is).
The New Guy and I talked that night. He new I was going to dinner so he asked how it went. He also asked if I kissed him. Well, I don't believe in asking questions you don't want the answers to, so I told him yes. We chatted for a while after that, then as things starting to get heavier, I told him to call me. Yes, I told him! I think we really covered some things that night, and things have been pretty good since then. I told him that I was hurt by his past actions, though I honestly understood where it came from.
I know, I know. I tried to be hard before by saying it was no big deal. But, he really is a big deal to me. He has been hurt before, just like the rest and the best of us, and he's afraid. Believe me, I'm not letting him off the hook just yet for letting his fear overtake his common sense. But, I also know that what we have is special, and it was from day one. The only other person I have felt this comfortable with to be able to be my total self with besides New Guy is Can't Get Right. I told my best friend and she was like 'WOW, that's huge!'
Exactly.
He's on his way to his spring vacation with the kids. The Commander is gone already. I am still baffled as to what mother would let her teenage daughter go out of town with her boyfriend and his father. No offense to anyone, but those type of things, don't usually happen in the 'naturally tan' community. Which leads to believe that perhaps they are following in dad's footsteps, which isn't a bad thing in any way, just an observation. But, in all fairness, perhaps I don't know all the facts. Regardless, these are two high-quality dads that actually care about their children and do all they can to be there for them whenever they are needed. Once again, in my 'naturally tan' community, that is not the norm. God Bless them both.
Speaking of (again), is a wonder that these are both men of God?
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March 19, 2007
March 15, 2007
Old Friends...Again
Day before yesterday, I was sitting on the couch with my laptop. I swear I was getting ready to work on my website.
Really, I was.
Why don’t you believe me?
A new IM window popped with a name I didn’t recognize. The person said hello and, being the snob I was, I was just getting ready to block them. But, they said ‘What’s going on Shaker?’. I’m staring at the screen with my mouth open thinking ‘No Way, it can’t be’. So, I replied ‘Who is this?’ To which they replied, ‘How many people call you Shaker?’
‘[Cody]!’
We chatted for over two hours. Just trying to catch up on the past 9 years . I hadn’t seen or talked to him since DJ was a baby, like 3 months old baby! We first met when I was like 19 or so, and dated for about a year and a half. He was cute, very physically fit, light-skinned, about 6’2”. We had a lot of fun together, my mom and grandmother really liked him. But, when it was time to go, it was time to go. I learned a lot at that time about how unfair the court system is to fathers. He had some baby-momma drama, or should I say “we” had it. Typical, one of those ‘I-can’t-be-with-you-so-you-can’t-see-your-child’ situations.
After we split, life went on. I got married, got pregnant, got left by my husband for another woman, you know…the usual! ( I am so kidding) I will never forget though, when I went into the hospital to have this very early child of mine. Very early, like water broke at 29 weeks and he was born at 30 instead of 40 weeks, early! But while I was in the hospital, just sitting and baking my little bun-in-the-oven, he would come and sit with me everyday. I think he stopped at my grandmother’s house and she told him what happened and where I was. He drove school buses at the time, so he had a hiatus during midday, that’s when he would come and sit. He was even at the hospital the day I delivered. We spent time together after I went home, before DJ even got out of the hospital (22days). I will never forget the most emotional sex of my young life. We both cried. I know, dramatic! Then I decided to split again, just had to move on I guess.
So, it was nice chatting with him and reminiscing. It was weird that he remembers so many vivid details about our time together. Cute though. Since I am trying to get a little more of a social life, I might have him take me to the movies or something just to hang out. But surely not a love connection, as every guy I talk to doesn’t have to be.
I know for sure that this is not the time for me to seriously date anyone. Quite frankly because if it was time, it would have happened. I think I may have a few years left before I am to be married again, which is starting to not be as horrific as I first thought.
Look how long I’ve done it so far? What’s a few more years?
I'm a soldier...I can handle it!!
March 14, 2007
On a lighter Note
It is officially the Major's birthday...eastern time at least. He is the big 40. Woohoo. We spent about an hour and a half on the phone today on our evening commutes. Come to think of it, we talked for a while this morning too. That doesn't usually happen often. We even chatted for a little bit this evening.
He will be in town this weekend, working on his development project. I asked him if I could take him to dinner Saturday evening. Yes, I am a modern girl, aren't I? That's my birthday gift to him. I'm excited.
Oh yeah, van at the shop equals $1700 for rebuilt transmission. Ouch! I'm gonna see what I can do though. I don't have many desirable choices.
I think I freaked Mr. Anti-Relationship/the Commander out this evening! After chatting off and on for a little while I got into one of my deep thought moods. So, I asked him a couple of questions, just to get his idea of what he thought about me. Notsomuch as in he wants to date me, but like what is this guy's (keyword) opinion of me. Well he said I was a good mom and open-minded (thanks to those emails, I think). Intelligent may have come up. So then I asked him if he weren't so anti-relationship would he consider me the type of woman he would want to have a serious relationship with.
That was the last I heard from him! I even put on there not to freak out because it was only a question. I was asking for me, not trying to pick his brain. I was hoping with us being friends as we are, that I could count on him to tell me the truth. It's a reflecting on your inner self kind of thing.
So...if you're reading...Sorry man, didn't mean to freak you out. Friends? Good. I still want an answer to my question!
He will be in town this weekend, working on his development project. I asked him if I could take him to dinner Saturday evening. Yes, I am a modern girl, aren't I? That's my birthday gift to him. I'm excited.
Oh yeah, van at the shop equals $1700 for rebuilt transmission. Ouch! I'm gonna see what I can do though. I don't have many desirable choices.
I think I freaked Mr. Anti-Relationship/the Commander out this evening! After chatting off and on for a little while I got into one of my deep thought moods. So, I asked him a couple of questions, just to get his idea of what he thought about me. Notsomuch as in he wants to date me, but like what is this guy's (keyword) opinion of me. Well he said I was a good mom and open-minded (thanks to those emails, I think). Intelligent may have come up. So then I asked him if he weren't so anti-relationship would he consider me the type of woman he would want to have a serious relationship with.
That was the last I heard from him! I even put on there not to freak out because it was only a question. I was asking for me, not trying to pick his brain. I was hoping with us being friends as we are, that I could count on him to tell me the truth. It's a reflecting on your inner self kind of thing.
So...if you're reading...Sorry man, didn't mean to freak you out. Friends? Good. I still want an answer to my question!
This World Is Just Too Much
So today, I am annoyed. Very annoyed. Let’s start with this:
http://www.cnn.com/2007/US/03/10/elderly.robbed.ap/index.html
Black man in his 30s “allegedly” (don’t get me started on that word) mugs two elderly, walker-bound women. Don’t forget to watch the video.
What… The… Hell?
For my black readers: Have you ever heard about a really bad crime story on the news and sat there secretly hoping the criminal wasn’t black? Then, in the cases where they are not…you kind of are relieved?
It’s okay, you can admit it. I’ve done it plenty of times too.
Now, I’m about to say some things that may piss some people off, but it’s my opinion so…WHATEVER!
Do you know that every time I see a black male with his pants sagging down to his knees, I’m embarrassed?
Do you know that every time I walk past a couple of young black dudes in the mall smelling like weed, I’m pissed off?
Do you know that every time I hear a black male say ‘That baby ain’t mine’ (knowing the child looks just like them), I’m angry?
Why is it “cute” for you to have a mouth full of gold and cornrows/ponytails with barrettes on them??
Why can’t they understand how much their own behavior shoots us all in the foot? Anyone with a “natural tan”, as I call it, has at least heard of Driving While Black (DWB). I will acknowledge that it isn’t right to just pull someone over because of their color. We shouldn’t need a ghetto anthem like “Ridin’ Dirty”. But statistically, since so many of these confused, undisciplined, angry youth think it’s cool to do stuff like smoke weed on the regular and sell dope as a profession, we make ourselves easy targets.
Of course there are many, many cases where this behavior is completely unwarranted, we all know that. A man driving in a suit in a jag is not suspicious…period. But a young buck in a wife beater with a mouth full of gold, his hat cocked to the side, blasting foul-mouthed rap music, leaning to the back seat in the middle of a workday in a jag…IS! Be mad, but that’s what I think.
Then the excuse is that “the man” is keeping “the brothas” down.
Puh-leeze.
“The man” is not the one that made you break into your neighbor’s house. If you have to pick a lock or break a window to get it, 9 times out 10 it’s not yours!
“The man” is not preventing you from staying in high school and taking your trifling butt to college/trade school! What is this idiotic ideal in the black community that says ‘It’s cool to be dumb”, and the smart kids with ambitions are constantly ridiculed for wanting more? And – after hearing it all my life – don’t get me started on the “talking white” accusations!!! Must I smack my lips and speak ebonics to be accepted by my own people?
“The man” didn’t put the gun in your hand for you to rob someone instead of getting a job!!! Sure, you could make more selling weed or crack to your own people. I could make more as a call-girl, but that doesn’t mean I will! I would rather forgo the constant threat of arrest and incarceration and oh yeah DEATH to be a productive member of society!
But, who I am to judge!?
Oh yeah, I know. I’m the taxpayer taking care of you while you’re in jail getting your GED and a MASTER’S degree in LAW, and taking care of the kids you are not able to support because you make a couple of dollars a day!!
People, we have to get better than this! This is ridiculous!
We have the highest rates of new HIV cases of any other group in this country, BY FAR.
Black women are almost 4 times as likely to have HIV than their white counterparts (thanks to the ex-cons and down-low brothas…and our own ignorance).
Over two-thirds of the black families are headed by single women. Two-parent households in the black community are like an anomaly, rare but not completely unheard of.
At least 2 to 3 times the number of black males are incarcerated rather than in college. Since the early eighties, the numbers of black male college graduates has consistently and sharply declined.
Is this the best we can do??
March 13, 2007
It's Tuesday
Could you feel the excitement in my tone on that one? Yeah, me neither.
So before I go make this semi-homemade broccoli cheese soup for our food day at work today, I'll share with you what happened last night.
I was sitting at my desk thinking about the New Guy and looking over my blog. Somehow this started by me googling my first name, and my blog showed up. So, since I hadn't heard from him in a few days I decided to send him an email that showed him how I described him and felt about him in my blog. As I was editing the text (somehow it copied grey) and about to hit send, the home phone rings. Totally expecting it to be a solicitor or my mother, I grabbed the phone only to see his name. So I actually answered the phone giggling, because the timing was uncanny. The Major's timing has been like that lately as well, which is pretty cool. The New Guy had timing like that from basically day one! He asked if I would it be okay if he came over, and I said yes. He already sounded like he was mobile, so he said it shouldn't be very long before he was heading this way.
So, I talked to my mom and then hit the shower. Yes I did do my mini-ped (and I can tell the cream is working)! Not long after I got out, I heard his truck pull up. It was so nice to see him. We sat on the couch and caught up a bit. Yes of course I asked about the "other choice"! Did you really not think I was gonna? I really do believe that it wasn't about that other person in the beginning, it was about his own fear of making another mistake rushing into things. I believe that was best for both of us. He made a statement about me making him feel bad about not showing the other day, which struck me as odd. I found out why.
Guess who else reads my blog?! Yeah, that was a bit of a surprise! Thank goodness I'm such an open book anyway. I mean, it is on the internet and, if there was something I didn't want to be out there, it wouldn't. So that's cool.
Long story short, he fell asleep, I fell asleep, we slept on the couch. Then since it was getting late and I am concerned about driving when you're tired (which he really looked sleepy), I offered him to stay. We slept together, in my bed, until a few minutes after 5a.
Nope, not a wandering hand came into play. Not even a passionate kiss! We kept it very respectable. And it was very nice.
I do wonder what was going through his head, as I try to process what's in mine. While I understand (for the most part) his motives for his action a couple of months ago, that's still not to discount the fact that I was actually hurt a little in that process. If this is our second chance to both walk a little more level-headed into a relationship, then I totally get it.
I guess we'll see what happens...
The Major sent me a nice IM message this morning, just a little word of encouragement on the raising of four children. It definitely made me smile when I signed in! He is a really great guy. I'm planning to take him out to dinner this weekend to celebrate his birthday, which is the 15th.
I just truly can't think too much into anyone right now, because that would distract me from my goals at hand. But I tell you the truth, a little companionship never hurt anyone!
So before I go make this semi-homemade broccoli cheese soup for our food day at work today, I'll share with you what happened last night.
I was sitting at my desk thinking about the New Guy and looking over my blog. Somehow this started by me googling my first name, and my blog showed up. So, since I hadn't heard from him in a few days I decided to send him an email that showed him how I described him and felt about him in my blog. As I was editing the text (somehow it copied grey) and about to hit send, the home phone rings. Totally expecting it to be a solicitor or my mother, I grabbed the phone only to see his name. So I actually answered the phone giggling, because the timing was uncanny. The Major's timing has been like that lately as well, which is pretty cool. The New Guy had timing like that from basically day one! He asked if I would it be okay if he came over, and I said yes. He already sounded like he was mobile, so he said it shouldn't be very long before he was heading this way.
So, I talked to my mom and then hit the shower. Yes I did do my mini-ped (and I can tell the cream is working)! Not long after I got out, I heard his truck pull up. It was so nice to see him. We sat on the couch and caught up a bit. Yes of course I asked about the "other choice"! Did you really not think I was gonna? I really do believe that it wasn't about that other person in the beginning, it was about his own fear of making another mistake rushing into things. I believe that was best for both of us. He made a statement about me making him feel bad about not showing the other day, which struck me as odd. I found out why.
Guess who else reads my blog?! Yeah, that was a bit of a surprise! Thank goodness I'm such an open book anyway. I mean, it is on the internet and, if there was something I didn't want to be out there, it wouldn't. So that's cool.
Long story short, he fell asleep, I fell asleep, we slept on the couch. Then since it was getting late and I am concerned about driving when you're tired (which he really looked sleepy), I offered him to stay. We slept together, in my bed, until a few minutes after 5a.
Nope, not a wandering hand came into play. Not even a passionate kiss! We kept it very respectable. And it was very nice.
I do wonder what was going through his head, as I try to process what's in mine. While I understand (for the most part) his motives for his action a couple of months ago, that's still not to discount the fact that I was actually hurt a little in that process. If this is our second chance to both walk a little more level-headed into a relationship, then I totally get it.
I guess we'll see what happens...
The Major sent me a nice IM message this morning, just a little word of encouragement on the raising of four children. It definitely made me smile when I signed in! He is a really great guy. I'm planning to take him out to dinner this weekend to celebrate his birthday, which is the 15th.
I just truly can't think too much into anyone right now, because that would distract me from my goals at hand. But I tell you the truth, a little companionship never hurt anyone!
March 12, 2007
What A Beautiful Day!!
Okay, it was like 76 degrees outside today!!! I went outside every chance I had! I had on my wintertime shoes. A penny loafer-type black shoe with a stacked 3" heel. As soon as I would go sit in my van, I would kick them off.
Then at 5p, when I got off today, I kicked them off in the car. I had to make an emergency stop at home before picking up the kids and put oil in the car. She gives this little courtesy stall with the oil light on to let me know she's very low on oil. So, since I was pulling into my garage, I walked right out barefoot into the house! I went upstairs and got something a little more comfortable and appropriate, some lightweight platform slides!
Yes, I will probably wear them to work tomorrow! But, only after a mini-ped tonight!
I know it will cool a little this weekend, but I am hoping the worst is behind us. Which means I really gotta hurry up and get this body in a little better shape. I have such awesome summer shoes, but my winter variety totally blows!
So, being as sensitive as I am, I feel really bad for offending the Commander with a smart-aleck comment I made about a week ago. What did I say? Well, after I discovered that both of his marriages have been to white women, I teased him by saying: "Oh so the sistas are good enough to play around with, but you marry the white women!"
I thought he knew by then of my off-color humor. Apparently not! For some reason, he felt I was saying something bad about or insulting his sons' mother. Last I checked, wasn't marrying a good thing? And that's insulting...how?? I still don't get it, but I will always apologize for any offense, since that was never my intention.
Then at 5p, when I got off today, I kicked them off in the car. I had to make an emergency stop at home before picking up the kids and put oil in the car. She gives this little courtesy stall with the oil light on to let me know she's very low on oil. So, since I was pulling into my garage, I walked right out barefoot into the house! I went upstairs and got something a little more comfortable and appropriate, some lightweight platform slides!
Yes, I will probably wear them to work tomorrow! But, only after a mini-ped tonight!
I know it will cool a little this weekend, but I am hoping the worst is behind us. Which means I really gotta hurry up and get this body in a little better shape. I have such awesome summer shoes, but my winter variety totally blows!
So, being as sensitive as I am, I feel really bad for offending the Commander with a smart-aleck comment I made about a week ago. What did I say? Well, after I discovered that both of his marriages have been to white women, I teased him by saying: "Oh so the sistas are good enough to play around with, but you marry the white women!"
I thought he knew by then of my off-color humor. Apparently not! For some reason, he felt I was saying something bad about or insulting his sons' mother. Last I checked, wasn't marrying a good thing? And that's insulting...how?? I still don't get it, but I will always apologize for any offense, since that was never my intention.
Hopefully we can kiss and makeup, those lips are wonderful!
Oops, did I say that?! (smiles innocently)
So, time to get the brood to bed.
530a will be here before I know it. *Sigh*
Oh yeah!! Hopefully I'll have good news once my car comes from the transmission shop! PRAY!!
Clearing Out The Clutter
Okay, so I’m starting to feel better now.
I just had a few frustrations to vent out the other day, but I am better now…almost.
When I woke up this morning, after the extra kids arrived, I began cleaning out another box in my closet. This box has a lot of office supplies, notebooks, and part of my collection of cookbooks in it. The cookbooks are still there, but I did look through a few of the other items. I found something I had been looking for quite a few months ago. I found the pictures my sister gave me that had
I never said I wasn’t vain!
Heroes is on hiatus for a few weeks, so I have no reason to turn on the TV this evening. I did a few loads of laundry this morning (as usual), so I only have one more to do this evening. I will try to get the kids outfits together for the rest of the week. Then I can work in my room some more. There is a little more clutter to address there, then hopefully I can have peace in my room again. Who knows? Maybe I can start getting some rest!
Speaking of, I slept like a newborn baby last night.
That is not a good thing! Newborn babies usually wake up every 2-3 hours! As I did, unfortunately. Too much stuff on my mind that I need get out of my head. I don’t like being tired during the day.
Another major change I need to make is I have to start exercising! I know, I know. I keep saying that! But, firstly the season is about to change and I won’t be able to fit anything form last year. Secondly, I won’t start feeling better mentally and physically until I do. I NEED to feel better, and soon!
I have plenty of choices, from TaeBo to Winsor Pilates to TotalGym – and just as many excuses!
The one thing I know about me is that I have to clear my head so everything else will work as it should. To clear my head, I have to start externally. So, needless to say, my trash men are going to have way more than usual this Thursday!!
March 10, 2007
A Little Self-Doubt
So, I'm starting to wonder if I'm the marrying kind or not.
Why, you ask? Well, for starters...I'm not married. I've been married. Twice. I've been divorced.
Twice.
So, what gives? I would love nothing more than to be the strong yet submissive wife of a wonderful God-fearing man.
I mean, there are flaws with me, no doubt. Housekeeping is not my strong suit! Don't get me wrong, there are no bugs or anything I need an intervention about. But, I can sleep soundly with dishes in the sink, or clothes unfolded and not promptly put away!
I have also been a solo-mommy a little too long, so I'm used to 'my way or the highway'. I don't want a man coming in expecting me to be a pushover with the kids. However, a drill sergeant is not welcome here either (reference to PsychoRev). I'm hard as hell on my kids already, ask any of my family or friends!
On the flip side, I am very affectionate, a great listener, the biggest cheerleader he could ever need, love to not only cook for him, but fix his plate as well! How many of these modern women can say that? Let's not even mention the bedroom!
Okay. Let's.
Trust me, he'll never be bored nor dissatisfied nor left wanting!!
So what gives?
I have been told by all too many men that I'm a good woman, the wife-type. Of course, those men are not prospects (either had me and lost me or are already attached). Yet here I am, exceptionally single.
So what gives?
Is there something on my forehead?
Is there a scent I'm giving off to men that repels them from real commitment?
Is my sensuality too strong, where all they see is "playmate" instead of "lifemate"?
Am I just not as good of a catch as I think I am? (puh-leeze)
Does God think I should be single for the rest of my life?
SO WHAT GIVES?
Why, you ask? Well, for starters...I'm not married. I've been married. Twice. I've been divorced.
Twice.
So, what gives? I would love nothing more than to be the strong yet submissive wife of a wonderful God-fearing man.
I mean, there are flaws with me, no doubt. Housekeeping is not my strong suit! Don't get me wrong, there are no bugs or anything I need an intervention about. But, I can sleep soundly with dishes in the sink, or clothes unfolded and not promptly put away!
I have also been a solo-mommy a little too long, so I'm used to 'my way or the highway'. I don't want a man coming in expecting me to be a pushover with the kids. However, a drill sergeant is not welcome here either (reference to PsychoRev). I'm hard as hell on my kids already, ask any of my family or friends!
On the flip side, I am very affectionate, a great listener, the biggest cheerleader he could ever need, love to not only cook for him, but fix his plate as well! How many of these modern women can say that? Let's not even mention the bedroom!
Okay. Let's.
Trust me, he'll never be bored nor dissatisfied nor left wanting!!
So what gives?
I have been told by all too many men that I'm a good woman, the wife-type. Of course, those men are not prospects (either had me and lost me or are already attached). Yet here I am, exceptionally single.
So what gives?
Is there something on my forehead?
Is there a scent I'm giving off to men that repels them from real commitment?
Is my sensuality too strong, where all they see is "playmate" instead of "lifemate"?
Am I just not as good of a catch as I think I am? (puh-leeze)
Does God think I should be single for the rest of my life?
SO WHAT GIVES?
Saturday's News
Well, there really isn't any news.
The New Guy didn't show last night, which is fine because I was sleep anyway. He left me a message this morning by IM to say that he had fallen asleep and it was 1120p when he woke up. Actually I was right there when he was typing the message, but I just didn't respond.
Last night, after work I picked up a gyro for me and each of my sisters. They were watching movies, and my oldest sister had gotten pizza from Sam's for the kids. So we stayed there until about 9p, then headed home. The kids stayed up until about 10p, and I headed to bed not soon afterward.
Yes I had two different phones in the room with me!
We are having cake and ice cream for the Bruzer this evening to celebrate his birthday. I requested money from his father to assist in the festivities and, so far it's a no go.
Who's shocked!!??
Yeah, me neither.
Thank goodness cakes are good and no more than $20!
Anyway, this morning I have been cleaning and simultaneously de-cluttering. I have too much stuff in my life and it's hindering me from doing the things I need to do. So, it's time to start letting go. I may actually manage to have a yard sale this time! Either March 31 or April 7 are the possible Saturdays I'm looking at.
I have decided that the profits will go towards buying me a new CPU. I don't need monitor, keyboard or any of that, just the CPU. I extended the life of this one a little by blasting the hard drive clean, but it's just so old in computer years. My current processor is an 850MHz, and I have 256MB of memory. I do have a CD-RW and a floppy drive as well. So what I want/need is a 1-2GB processor, 256-512MB memory, at least 4 USB ports, ethernet, a CD-RW perhaps a DVD-RW (but not required). I can keep my same monitor; I already have a wireless keyboard and mouse. But I will need a more reliable computer system very soon.
In hopes of being a more awesome solo-mommy, I will let the kids keep this one and just get another monitor to go with it (I already have the old keyboard and mouse). I'm trying!
Gotta go keep a scout out for the mailman. My mailbox post fell over last week and he didn't deliver any mail. I tried to rig it using newspaper rolls, but he put a notice about improper receptacle. So I thought I did a much better job of securing it with wood. That was Thursday, and I still haven't gotten any mail yet. It's been over a week, and I'm really annoyed now.
The New Guy didn't show last night, which is fine because I was sleep anyway. He left me a message this morning by IM to say that he had fallen asleep and it was 1120p when he woke up. Actually I was right there when he was typing the message, but I just didn't respond.
Last night, after work I picked up a gyro for me and each of my sisters. They were watching movies, and my oldest sister had gotten pizza from Sam's for the kids. So we stayed there until about 9p, then headed home. The kids stayed up until about 10p, and I headed to bed not soon afterward.
Yes I had two different phones in the room with me!
We are having cake and ice cream for the Bruzer this evening to celebrate his birthday. I requested money from his father to assist in the festivities and, so far it's a no go.
Who's shocked!!??
Yeah, me neither.
Thank goodness cakes are good and no more than $20!
Anyway, this morning I have been cleaning and simultaneously de-cluttering. I have too much stuff in my life and it's hindering me from doing the things I need to do. So, it's time to start letting go. I may actually manage to have a yard sale this time! Either March 31 or April 7 are the possible Saturdays I'm looking at.
I have decided that the profits will go towards buying me a new CPU. I don't need monitor, keyboard or any of that, just the CPU. I extended the life of this one a little by blasting the hard drive clean, but it's just so old in computer years. My current processor is an 850MHz, and I have 256MB of memory. I do have a CD-RW and a floppy drive as well. So what I want/need is a 1-2GB processor, 256-512MB memory, at least 4 USB ports, ethernet, a CD-RW perhaps a DVD-RW (but not required). I can keep my same monitor; I already have a wireless keyboard and mouse. But I will need a more reliable computer system very soon.
In hopes of being a more awesome solo-mommy, I will let the kids keep this one and just get another monitor to go with it (I already have the old keyboard and mouse). I'm trying!
Gotta go keep a scout out for the mailman. My mailbox post fell over last week and he didn't deliver any mail. I tried to rig it using newspaper rolls, but he put a notice about improper receptacle. So I thought I did a much better job of securing it with wood. That was Thursday, and I still haven't gotten any mail yet. It's been over a week, and I'm really annoyed now.
March 9, 2007
Strange Nights
First off, being the slacker mommy that I am, I did not wash nor cut anyone's hair last night.
I managed to actually cook dinner for the children, and I even ate.
That was about all I could do. I sent them to bed at a little after 9p.
Don't worry, I'll make it work. I always do.
So, I talked to the Major on the phone for a little while yesterday on his incredibly long commute home from work (like an hour on a good day!). I didn't even really get online last night to chat. I actually laid on the couch and watched Dr. 90210 . Then, the last few minutes watched me.
Why Dr. 90210? Didn't you know? If I had a few extra thousand dollars, and better in-house support, I would gladly get a boob job and a tummy tuck?! Without even thinking twice!
I kid you not.
I am NOT part of the majority of African-Americans who think plastic surgery is unnecessary and taboo. Puh-leeze!! I already know what size I would get and where my incision would be. I have even been to a consultation with a plastic surgeon in St. Louis. Yes, I will do it one day, regardless of what anyone else thinks. This is about me, period.
So anyway, 1225am I awake to someone beating on the door. First person I thought of was The One/Can't Get Right, since he was supposed to stop by earlier. Then, I knew better because he wouldn't beat on the door - afraid he'd wake the kids - he'd just leave. So, I looked out my window and the car in the driveway didn't even register. I went downstairs to discover it was my mom! This poor neurotic woman couldn't reach me by telephone (cell phone downstairs, kids turned off upstairs ringer), so she drove all the way up from ESL to make sure I was okay! I know, I know. The woman needs an intervention! She worries so much and always has. She hugged me, and then turned around and left to head back home.
At this point I cannot go right back to sleep. So I see the Commander is online, and I say hi. We chatted for a bit, I told him what happened. He hadn't been online earlier so I asked what he was doing up. He was worse than I was, he had basically come straight home and went to sleep...at 5p! I thought he had dozed off, so I got back in the bed myself, when I heard the familiar ding of new messages. Well, one was him and the other was from The New Guy! He asked if everything was okay, and I told him the story. I forgot I sent him an offline message a few days saying I had a question for him. He didn't. So I asked what he was doing on the 23rd (the dinner dance), and he replied he's taking the kids on a surprise trip to DC the 19th-23rd. The Commander's taking his boys to Florida for Spring Break. Such cool dads. Yet another reason to feel like a slacker mom!
We continued to chat for a while, and he asked me about my plans for the evening. Me and the brood are gonna watch movies tonight. He asked if he could see me after that. I said yes, but it wouldn't be until about 11p. He said that was fine. I'm trying to remain cool and calm about it, and it's really not that hard to be honest. A lot has changed since we together before, he's got a little more proving to do if he really wants to give this a go. Meanwhile, I will continue on as usual, until I have a reason (from him or anyone else) not to.
Yes, I will tell you how it goes.
We are doing the Bruzer's birthday party tomorrow evening at about 6p. I'm getting the cake from Sam's and a few of their pizzas too. I'll probably shop for him today during lunch. I invited his father and newly minted step-mother, to which he advised me she would probably tell him to come by himself. Whatever!! To her: You married him; I kicked him out and never looked back! Good Luck, by the way.
Okay, it's off to work where, for the most part, I can't stand my manager. Yet another reason to make me really ready to leave there. I miss working at the church, the freedom and the purpose of it. That time will prayerfully be here before the end of the year. I just need to get out of this expensive house first, then it will be okay. Pray for me!
I managed to actually cook dinner for the children, and I even ate.
That was about all I could do. I sent them to bed at a little after 9p.
Don't worry, I'll make it work. I always do.
So, I talked to the Major on the phone for a little while yesterday on his incredibly long commute home from work (like an hour on a good day!). I didn't even really get online last night to chat. I actually laid on the couch and watched Dr. 90210 . Then, the last few minutes watched me.
Why Dr. 90210? Didn't you know? If I had a few extra thousand dollars, and better in-house support, I would gladly get a boob job and a tummy tuck?! Without even thinking twice!
I kid you not.
I am NOT part of the majority of African-Americans who think plastic surgery is unnecessary and taboo. Puh-leeze!! I already know what size I would get and where my incision would be. I have even been to a consultation with a plastic surgeon in St. Louis. Yes, I will do it one day, regardless of what anyone else thinks. This is about me, period.
So anyway, 1225am I awake to someone beating on the door. First person I thought of was The One/Can't Get Right, since he was supposed to stop by earlier. Then, I knew better because he wouldn't beat on the door - afraid he'd wake the kids - he'd just leave. So, I looked out my window and the car in the driveway didn't even register. I went downstairs to discover it was my mom! This poor neurotic woman couldn't reach me by telephone (cell phone downstairs, kids turned off upstairs ringer), so she drove all the way up from ESL to make sure I was okay! I know, I know. The woman needs an intervention! She worries so much and always has. She hugged me, and then turned around and left to head back home.
At this point I cannot go right back to sleep. So I see the Commander is online, and I say hi. We chatted for a bit, I told him what happened. He hadn't been online earlier so I asked what he was doing up. He was worse than I was, he had basically come straight home and went to sleep...at 5p! I thought he had dozed off, so I got back in the bed myself, when I heard the familiar ding of new messages. Well, one was him and the other was from The New Guy! He asked if everything was okay, and I told him the story. I forgot I sent him an offline message a few days saying I had a question for him. He didn't. So I asked what he was doing on the 23rd (the dinner dance), and he replied he's taking the kids on a surprise trip to DC the 19th-23rd. The Commander's taking his boys to Florida for Spring Break. Such cool dads. Yet another reason to feel like a slacker mom!
We continued to chat for a while, and he asked me about my plans for the evening. Me and the brood are gonna watch movies tonight. He asked if he could see me after that. I said yes, but it wouldn't be until about 11p. He said that was fine. I'm trying to remain cool and calm about it, and it's really not that hard to be honest. A lot has changed since we together before, he's got a little more proving to do if he really wants to give this a go. Meanwhile, I will continue on as usual, until I have a reason (from him or anyone else) not to.
Yes, I will tell you how it goes.
We are doing the Bruzer's birthday party tomorrow evening at about 6p. I'm getting the cake from Sam's and a few of their pizzas too. I'll probably shop for him today during lunch. I invited his father and newly minted step-mother, to which he advised me she would probably tell him to come by himself. Whatever!! To her: You married him; I kicked him out and never looked back! Good Luck, by the way.
Okay, it's off to work where, for the most part, I can't stand my manager. Yet another reason to make me really ready to leave there. I miss working at the church, the freedom and the purpose of it. That time will prayerfully be here before the end of the year. I just need to get out of this expensive house first, then it will be okay. Pray for me!
March 8, 2007
My Evening
So, in the exciting world of Solo-Mommy, tomorrow is Spring Picture Day for DJ and the Space Cadet. I don’t like the fall pictures because they’re really generic and totally overpriced. That means that, along with cooking and some much needed cleaning, I will also be cutting my son’s hair and washing & flat-ironing my daughter’s.
The son is not bad, won’t take but about 15 minutes. But, the Space Cadet has as much hair as I do! Well, actually, more. She has this funny grade of hair from her father’s side, but with my thickness. There are no chemical treatments (ie, relaxers) done to her hair. Though it is midback when straightened, it can draw up to literally above her shoulders when wet! Humidity is most definitely the enemy. But, I found the trick to make it stay straight like it was relaxed, even if the humidity is 100% outside! Grease, glorious grease! My special sulfur formula grease, and a great little flat iron I picked up at Wal-Mart.
Sure it’ll take me 2-3hours to do it, but pictures last a lifetime right?
Right?
Still looking for Mr. Right...
So, I have to right a reprive, because I don’t want you all getting the wrong idea.
The Commander is not, I repeat is not in the dating game! Remember, Mr. Anti-Relationship?
Ok, just so we’re clear on that. Now, we can move on.
So I officially became a member of eharmony a little over a week ago. I have been in their matching system for about a year, but I finally decided to actually pay for the service. So far, no big connections. I have only gone through the guided communication process with two people so far. The first was okay, but I really wasn’t attracted to his picture (which I only saw after we completed guided communication). Then, and I know this is going to be silly but…he sent me an email to ask how my weekend was and if I went out anywhere and got it poppin’, or something. I don’t know why that rubbed me the wrong way, but it did. Haven’t really communicated much in open communication with him.
That was the one from
*Sighs wistfully*
Noone seems to be exactly right, you know. Let’s go down the list, shall we? The One/Can’t Get Right: Totally cute, totally loves me and vice-versa, know each other inside and out, emotional connection is mind-altering. BUT, not divorced yet, works too much, cannot get priorities straight. Then, there’s The New Guy: Totally have everything in common, totally cute (great smile), devoted father (very attractive to me), great sense of humor, serious chemistry, Totally Perfect for me! BUT, I’m hungup about his weight and he’s scared to fall in love again. The Major: Great guy, great sense of humor, loves to laugh, definite chemistry, devoted father, ambitious (I’m all about ambition). BUT, lives in DC area (long distance relationships just aren’t my thing). PreacherMan? Can be annoying and a little too self-centered for my taste. Oh yeah, he is easy to have a decent conversation with. And then the ones I mentioned previously. Doesn’t look too good, does it?
I know God is still telling me to wait, and I am. Technically. Okay, I’m waiting as best I can! I sometimes think, maybe I can be like the Commander (notice he wasn’t mentioned in the previous paragraph?) and just be anti-relationship, as he calls it. But, while that may work for him, I personally would just see it as giving up. That’s just me, though. It looks like the New Guy is trying to go down that same anti-relationship path. I thought men are supposed to be the backbone of this civilization. Why is it that when they get their heart broken, they retreat indefinitely, but when we get ours broken, we (generally) put the salve of time on it to heal, and then get back out there again? Just curious. I’d love to get some feedback on this one from any of my loyal readers!
So, I guess I will continue to “see what happens”, without heavily pursuing anyone. I know God and I trust Him. When Mr. Right-for-me comes along, it’ll be right on time!
March 6, 2007
And Now...Introducing...
I got to meet the Commander today in person!
What did I think, you ask?
I didn't duck away when I spotted him at Borders, so that says something right? You know, with all the mess we've been talking on email and IM, it was still weird meeting him for the first time. It took a few minutes to really calm our nerves, for both of us!
I know what you're thinking and NO, that is just not true!!!
Is not.
Is not.
Is not.
Is not is not is not is not...
Okay, I couldn't help it. I'm back now. Really though, whenever you meet someone for the first time, you're at least a little nervous. Well, imagine this (slightly) anonymous person that you've been talking sooo dirty too...and now you've got to actually face them!
We all know we're different people on email and IM than we are in person. We just had to sit and talk for a few minutes to re-establish our level of comfort with each other. Then we were fine. Talking and laughing and such.
We only hung out for like an hour today, he's a single parent too. He lives waaaaaaaay up in North County of the STL, so he had a nice little haul to get home. His boys started to call because he said they weren't used to him being out of pocket. I will admit, the phone did ring more than once (I noted he has a Treo like me), and I know I saw a woman's face on the screen from the corner of my eye. But I was polite and didn't say anything, wasn't supposed to be all up in the business anyway. Plus, it's not like I have the authority to ask anyway. We're not on that page, remember???
So anyway, by request of my blog fan, I decided to write about meeting my friend today. I was very pleased to make his acquaintance, and hope to do so again in the near future.
Yes, he did indeed light my fire.
No, we did not go there.
No, I wouldn't tell you if we had either!
What did I think, you ask?
I didn't duck away when I spotted him at Borders, so that says something right? You know, with all the mess we've been talking on email and IM, it was still weird meeting him for the first time. It took a few minutes to really calm our nerves, for both of us!
I know what you're thinking and NO, that is just not true!!!
Is not.
Is not.
Is not.
Is not is not is not is not...
Okay, I couldn't help it. I'm back now. Really though, whenever you meet someone for the first time, you're at least a little nervous. Well, imagine this (slightly) anonymous person that you've been talking sooo dirty too...and now you've got to actually face them!
We all know we're different people on email and IM than we are in person. We just had to sit and talk for a few minutes to re-establish our level of comfort with each other. Then we were fine. Talking and laughing and such.
We only hung out for like an hour today, he's a single parent too. He lives waaaaaaaay up in North County of the STL, so he had a nice little haul to get home. His boys started to call because he said they weren't used to him being out of pocket. I will admit, the phone did ring more than once (I noted he has a Treo like me), and I know I saw a woman's face on the screen from the corner of my eye. But I was polite and didn't say anything, wasn't supposed to be all up in the business anyway. Plus, it's not like I have the authority to ask anyway. We're not on that page, remember???
So anyway, by request of my blog fan, I decided to write about meeting my friend today. I was very pleased to make his acquaintance, and hope to do so again in the near future.
Yes, he did indeed light my fire.
No, we did not go there.
No, I wouldn't tell you if we had either!
So far, So good
So, I gave the Bruzer a bath last night, and let him soak for a while. I didn't give any meds, and the fever subsided. We will start the Father John's today to start breaking up the massive amounts of mucus his little body seems to produce. Father John's, you ask? Oh that's old school stuff that thankfully they still make today. One of the main ingredients? Cod Liver Oil. Need I say more?
I'm going to get ready for work. Have to take a few extra minutes this morning. Got some plans after work today. (No, I am not telling you)
Wish me luck on any daycare calls today!
Have I told you lately that single parenthood rocks!? Ok yeah, there was a little sarcasm there.
(I'm still not telling)
I'm going to get ready for work. Have to take a few extra minutes this morning. Got some plans after work today. (No, I am not telling you)
Wish me luck on any daycare calls today!
Have I told you lately that single parenthood rocks!? Ok yeah, there was a little sarcasm there.
(I'm still not telling)
March 5, 2007
This is why I need to work from home...
The Bruzer has a fever of 101.4!!
His new teacher called me today to ask if there was anything they needed to know about his breathing. They inquired about asthma. I told her he was never formally diagnosed (though he does have a nebulizer), and that when he gets a cold, he really gets a cold. The teacher told me he was sitting at a table, but he breathing so fast and heavy you thought he had just ran around the room. Yep, that's him.
And then I discovered the fever at Super-Walmart. Actually getting out of the car on the parking lot. I knew he wasn't looking "well". It's a mom thing. So I kissed his forehead (yes, I'm that kind of mom!), and sure enough, there it was! Then we got home, I got the thermometer. It's an inner ear one, but I will also check underarm with it.
There it was. Plain as day. 101.4
*sigh*
Yes. I will try and give him Motrin 30min before we leave the house, and hope it lasts all day.
I know, I know. Bad Mommy, right?
Oh, but the single parents understand...
His new teacher called me today to ask if there was anything they needed to know about his breathing. They inquired about asthma. I told her he was never formally diagnosed (though he does have a nebulizer), and that when he gets a cold, he really gets a cold. The teacher told me he was sitting at a table, but he breathing so fast and heavy you thought he had just ran around the room. Yep, that's him.
And then I discovered the fever at Super-Walmart. Actually getting out of the car on the parking lot. I knew he wasn't looking "well". It's a mom thing. So I kissed his forehead (yes, I'm that kind of mom!), and sure enough, there it was! Then we got home, I got the thermometer. It's an inner ear one, but I will also check underarm with it.
There it was. Plain as day. 101.4
*sigh*
Yes. I will try and give him Motrin 30min before we leave the house, and hope it lasts all day.
I know, I know. Bad Mommy, right?
Oh, but the single parents understand...
March 4, 2007
Week In Review
So, it's Saturday. The week passed and nothing exciting happened.
I went to the funeral for Ann's husband on Wednesday evening. It was a very civil service. She is still being very strong, thank God. The burial was held in
Work has been work, nothing good or bad. We have a formal dinner dance toward the end of March. I am debating on who I want to take to it. I want it to be someone that I can have a good time with, exclusive of everyone else around. I don't know a lot of my coworkers, so I already know I won't be a huge socialite. I initially invited Can't Get Right/The One -mainly as a courtesy because I know he won't be able to attend. As a matter of fact, I gave him a deadline to answer me, so I have enough time to invite someone else. I was thinking about the Commander, but firstly I think he'll be out of town, and secondly he may think it's like a date or something. I don't want Mr. Anti-Relationship panicking on me, thinking I have some ulterior motive.
That's when I realized I missed The New Guy.
My other option is The Lineman. I'll call him that because he works on the line at an auto assembly plant. You're thinking the Lineman is new, but he is actually older than most others I have mentioned. I met him even before PsychoRev. I can't say a whole lot about him, we only saw each other a couple of times. We went to lunch at Blueberry Hill in
I'll keep you posted on who my date will be. Meanwhile, I have to decide what to wear. Everything fabulous I have, I am sure I can't fit. So, you know what that means. Yes, I'm gonna have to do like the stars, and drop some weight real quick! I need to drop about 20 pounds in approximately 3 weeks. Yes, I can do it! The question is, will I?
I talked to Preacherman twice this week. He called me once and I called him once. We talked almost an hour each time. We have really good intelligent conversation. I would have to see him in person to see if there's chemistry. With all previous entries -The New Guy, The Major, and The Commander- there has been chemistry even before meeting in person. With Preacherman...the jury is still out on that one.
I talked to The New Guy on IM today. Yes, he started it. We went thru all the formalities regarding how we were, how's work, how are the kids, blah, blah, blah.
You know I had to ask. I never said I wasn't nosy. Let's call it inquisitive, that sounds much better.
I asked how his personal life was. This was his response:
just ok, no soulmate, no one with wifey-potential, on tha real... i think i am really hesitant to "invest", i still want to...(and with that...think about you often) but, my God... it involves me giving someone my heart fully... I think I can, i think I can...but no one is really there.
Yep, that felt good. I had a feeling nothing really happened with that other person, that it was just an excuse not to deal with the fear of a real relationship. He asked about mine, and I truthfully told him that it was about the same as his. Noone with the potential to get me to the altar. I told him that I had been pretty guarded since him. He asked if I thought we could ever be involved again. My answer was I honestly didn't know. My heart says one thing, and my head says another. I admitted to him that I had fallen for him before. He said he had fallen for me, and still wasn't over me. We chatted a few more minutes, then I told him to get back to his schoolwork. He said we'd chat again in a few days. If we do or if we don't is truly okay with me. If it is meant to be, then it will come to pass. If not, time heals all.
That's all I have to say about that.
What's happening with the Commander you ask? Still lots of graphic flirting going on. IM chat has been racy. And we are both loving it! But, we are both nervous. That first time awkwardness kind of nervous. Like, what will we do when we see each other? Will we talk first for a while or just jump right in? We both came to the conclusion that there would be talking first, I think to re-establish the comfort level that we already have with one another. I'm not going to tell you exactly what happens. I'm not going to say you'll know when it happens. I don't plan to kiss and tell, but I'll at least inject a snippet (eventually) that it happened. I am sure I will be more enthusiastic that we actually met and talked in person. I just hope he knows that our "relationship" boundaries are firmly set, and that I expect nothing more than what we have so expressly discussed. Noone has put me on fire like this in quite a while. How much so, you ask? Put it this way, if I wasn't already in jeopardy regarding attendance at work, I would be calling in this coming Friday (his off day)!!
Since it appears this blog will remain more of a personal nature, I will start another one for StarrDom. I have some news to report on that as well. I am very encouraged and excited!
Please visit my new SoloMommy Entrepreneur's Blog at starrdomservices.blogspot.com
February 26, 2007
Weekend in Review
So, let's start with Friday, shall we?
I got to work, and within 10minutes, Champagne's teacher was calling me!
"Hi, Kima-Shai?"
"Hi Ms. Alex! You're just calling to say hello, aren't you?"
"Um, no. (Champagne) has a fever of 101."
"Okay, I'm on my way."
People, I hadn't even gotten my first call yet. I hadn't even eaten my breakfast that I bought from McD's. Bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle meal with Cappucino. Yes, cappucino. #9 is my meal number, and yes I do eat a lot of them. If you saw the junk in my trunk, you'd believe me!
So I let my lead know, and sent an email to my manager at home to let him know I had to leave. Then, I picked up Champagne and headed to the ER. We signed in at 1050a, and finally checked out about 315P. At least they called us back so she could lay in a bed and take a nap. Meanwhile, I was entertained by emailing back and forth with the Commander. He was in a punchy mood this day, let me tell you! Oh, you want me to tell you? Well ok, I'll only say this much about it:
I was invited to be lunch!
No, that wasn't a typo.
Anywho, Can't Get Right/The One even called to check on his little girlfriend, which is what he always calls Champagne. He told me he'd call back but...yeah right, like I don't know better! So, after the ER people took XRays and swabbed her nasal lining to rule out pneumonia, flu, and RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), they decided on Bronchitis and (double) shot her up with antibiotics. They also sent a prescription home for me to have filled. Maybe. I bought cough syrup, isn't that good too? I mean they don't really know what's wrong, they're just guestimating bronchitis. My house sounds like a seal symphony as it is, so I'll take some good Equate Tussin CF - with the same dosage of medicine as in Mucinex - any day!
Well, after we left the ER, we headed up to the sixth floor where Ann and her husband were. Their daughter was zipping back and forth between the hospital room and the waiting room across the hall, still purposely oblivious as I call it. She was actually in the room when he died, but she was just as happy as if nothing was wrong. She was excited that her aunt was taking her skating that evening. She also had a birthday party the next day, which my oldest sister took my oldest kids to. Her time will come, and I pray for her and her mom when it does.
So Saturday, I stayed in sleep clothes all day! I did manage to: (trumpets sounding) RELAX MY HAIR!!! Yes, ladies and gentleman, it's actually straight again! And I even deep-conditioned it!
Sunday, I lounged around most of the day, then went to my Grandmother's house to wish my mom a happy birthday. She turned 57 on February 26th! WOOHOO!! I am definitely blessed there. My Grandmother turned 86 on the 21st! I bought my mom the first 2 seasons of Miami Vice on DVD. She has been asking about this for months, wanting to know if I would check the prices on ebay for her. Yes...I am the reigning ebay queen in my family! I just played along, cause I already knew what I would do. I had those sets delivered almost 3 full weeks before her birthday. She LOVED it!!! We stayed down there for several hours, then came on home. That was Sunday.
Back to work a full day on Monday, with no daycare calls. WOW! (the audience appauds)
Work was fun today. It was busy, but I was emailing with my best friend for the better part of the day. I was able to email just shortly with the Major also. Mainly our thing is yahoo chat and talking on the phone most evenings.
Yes the Commander and I were emailing too. Mostly R rated, yes again. We almost made a plan, but Divine intervention prevented such a thing from occurring!
Either we're gonna have to quit cold turkey(hold your breath)...or just do it and get it out of the way!
No, really.
I want him to be my friend either way, whether we do or we don't. So we might just need to get rid of that (ever-increasing) sexual tension, so we can move on to better things. Like hanging out on occasion. We may even have business dealings in the future.
Yes. I really would do it...and well!
So, here we are at Monday night, nothing exciting going on. The funeral is Wednesday evening.
Maybe I'll have something good to post tomorrow.
I got to work, and within 10minutes, Champagne's teacher was calling me!
"Hi, Kima-Shai?"
"Hi Ms. Alex! You're just calling to say hello, aren't you?"
"Um, no. (Champagne) has a fever of 101."
"Okay, I'm on my way."
People, I hadn't even gotten my first call yet. I hadn't even eaten my breakfast that I bought from McD's. Bacon, egg and cheese McGriddle meal with Cappucino. Yes, cappucino. #9 is my meal number, and yes I do eat a lot of them. If you saw the junk in my trunk, you'd believe me!
So I let my lead know, and sent an email to my manager at home to let him know I had to leave. Then, I picked up Champagne and headed to the ER. We signed in at 1050a, and finally checked out about 315P. At least they called us back so she could lay in a bed and take a nap. Meanwhile, I was entertained by emailing back and forth with the Commander. He was in a punchy mood this day, let me tell you! Oh, you want me to tell you? Well ok, I'll only say this much about it:
I was invited to be lunch!
No, that wasn't a typo.
Anywho, Can't Get Right/The One even called to check on his little girlfriend, which is what he always calls Champagne. He told me he'd call back but...yeah right, like I don't know better! So, after the ER people took XRays and swabbed her nasal lining to rule out pneumonia, flu, and RSV (Respiratory Syncytial Virus), they decided on Bronchitis and (double) shot her up with antibiotics. They also sent a prescription home for me to have filled. Maybe. I bought cough syrup, isn't that good too? I mean they don't really know what's wrong, they're just guestimating bronchitis. My house sounds like a seal symphony as it is, so I'll take some good Equate Tussin CF - with the same dosage of medicine as in Mucinex - any day!
Well, after we left the ER, we headed up to the sixth floor where Ann and her husband were. Their daughter was zipping back and forth between the hospital room and the waiting room across the hall, still purposely oblivious as I call it. She was actually in the room when he died, but she was just as happy as if nothing was wrong. She was excited that her aunt was taking her skating that evening. She also had a birthday party the next day, which my oldest sister took my oldest kids to. Her time will come, and I pray for her and her mom when it does.
So Saturday, I stayed in sleep clothes all day! I did manage to: (trumpets sounding) RELAX MY HAIR!!! Yes, ladies and gentleman, it's actually straight again! And I even deep-conditioned it!
Sunday, I lounged around most of the day, then went to my Grandmother's house to wish my mom a happy birthday. She turned 57 on February 26th! WOOHOO!! I am definitely blessed there. My Grandmother turned 86 on the 21st! I bought my mom the first 2 seasons of Miami Vice on DVD. She has been asking about this for months, wanting to know if I would check the prices on ebay for her. Yes...I am the reigning ebay queen in my family! I just played along, cause I already knew what I would do. I had those sets delivered almost 3 full weeks before her birthday. She LOVED it!!! We stayed down there for several hours, then came on home. That was Sunday.
Back to work a full day on Monday, with no daycare calls. WOW! (the audience appauds)
Work was fun today. It was busy, but I was emailing with my best friend for the better part of the day. I was able to email just shortly with the Major also. Mainly our thing is yahoo chat and talking on the phone most evenings.
Yes the Commander and I were emailing too. Mostly R rated, yes again. We almost made a plan, but Divine intervention prevented such a thing from occurring!
Either we're gonna have to quit cold turkey(hold your breath)...or just do it and get it out of the way!
No, really.
I want him to be my friend either way, whether we do or we don't. So we might just need to get rid of that (ever-increasing) sexual tension, so we can move on to better things. Like hanging out on occasion. We may even have business dealings in the future.
Yes. I really would do it...and well!
So, here we are at Monday night, nothing exciting going on. The funeral is Wednesday evening.
Maybe I'll have something good to post tomorrow.
February 22, 2007
Back to the Grind
So Champagne was well enough that she went back to school today, though she still has the cough of a 20 year chain smoker. That meant I went back to work today. I did put in 16 hours of sick time, don't know if I'll get paid for all of it. I did get my verbal warning today as well. Hey, what can you do?
I got to my sister's house to pick her up, and I could tell something was wrong. I was on the phone with my girl from high school, so I told her I'd call her back. I was right about something being wrong. We have a friend who is more like a sister to us, named Ann. Ann has 2 children, a girl and a boy. Ann is also married to a pretty cool guy...who is at this moment dying. A few months ago, they found cancer in his spine. When the doctors went in to get it, they noticed it had metasticized. Yes indeed, in my opinion, the WORST word in cancer is metastacized. That basically means it has spread.
He has had enough time to get all of their affairs in order, and as far as I know make peace with the situation at hand. My sisters usually speak in amazement at how much he has planned and taken care of during this time. He's even researched and planned a deck to be built on the house! But, my God, Ann is only like 37! He is not that much older! The children are 8 and 3. How absolutely heart-breaking is that! I feel so much for Ann right now. I just can't even imagine losing a husband. I humbly request your prayers of strength for Ann and her family at this time.
I called on the one friend I have that I knew would truly help me in prayer. That's right. The Commander brought all the right words out to help me talk to God on behalf of the family. After he finished typing - this was done through IM - I prayed a most heartfelt prayer using his words. I am exceptionally emotional, so of course there were tears. No of course I didn't let him know! I just thanked him sincerely and told him he was my angel tonight.
Well God is In charge and you should just pray for His Comfort and as the Lord that he's will be done. Ask God for comfort and strenghth for the family. Ask God to Provide understanding in the midst of this storm. Thank God for all that he has brought this man through. Thank God for Just being a graceful God. Ask that His Word be manifest unto the family. Pray to the lord that He just be God and God alone and do whats best to unite the family and ask that he be the Doctor and the Healer. He can do all things but fail.
Nothing else to say but: AMEN.
I got to my sister's house to pick her up, and I could tell something was wrong. I was on the phone with my girl from high school, so I told her I'd call her back. I was right about something being wrong. We have a friend who is more like a sister to us, named Ann. Ann has 2 children, a girl and a boy. Ann is also married to a pretty cool guy...who is at this moment dying. A few months ago, they found cancer in his spine. When the doctors went in to get it, they noticed it had metasticized. Yes indeed, in my opinion, the WORST word in cancer is metastacized. That basically means it has spread.
He has had enough time to get all of their affairs in order, and as far as I know make peace with the situation at hand. My sisters usually speak in amazement at how much he has planned and taken care of during this time. He's even researched and planned a deck to be built on the house! But, my God, Ann is only like 37! He is not that much older! The children are 8 and 3. How absolutely heart-breaking is that! I feel so much for Ann right now. I just can't even imagine losing a husband. I humbly request your prayers of strength for Ann and her family at this time.
I called on the one friend I have that I knew would truly help me in prayer. That's right. The Commander brought all the right words out to help me talk to God on behalf of the family. After he finished typing - this was done through IM - I prayed a most heartfelt prayer using his words. I am exceptionally emotional, so of course there were tears. No of course I didn't let him know! I just thanked him sincerely and told him he was my angel tonight.
Well God is In charge and you should just pray for His Comfort and as the Lord that he's will be done. Ask God for comfort and strenghth for the family. Ask God to Provide understanding in the midst of this storm. Thank God for all that he has brought this man through. Thank God for Just being a graceful God. Ask that His Word be manifest unto the family. Pray to the lord that He just be God and God alone and do whats best to unite the family and ask that he be the Doctor and the Healer. He can do all things but fail.
Nothing else to say but: AMEN.
February 20, 2007
A sigh of Relief!
I got my first comment today! Thanks Anonymous!! And no, The Commander is NOT a loser, he's actually a pretty great guy, from what I've seen so far!
Anyway, my little van passed the inspection today! Yay!!! You know the emissions inspections that most of us with "slightly older" model cars dread? Yeah, that one. Well, she passed! Once I get that transmission fixed, she'll be on fire!!! I can't wait either, because I'm ready to get us on the road again! Some weekend getaways will do me and the brood just fine.
Champagne (the female half of the WonderTwins) was sick today. No not really sick (fever was 101), just enough to keep me from working today. Just my luck of course. Did I tell you single parenting rules?? Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake? Daycare has a 24-hour rule about fevers, so I'll probably miss tomorrow too!
I know all you two-parenters are soooo envious, aren't you?
The Commander and I did have a cool conversation today. An additional ray of sun on this interesting day. Well, I can't say it was a bad day (even though this will count against my attendance record), and the emissions thing was so great!! He gave me some really great ideas to get a few extra bucks in the pocket. I will definitely take him up on that. I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Speaking of......(drum roll)......I got my website back!!!!! Yes, www.starrdom.com is back in business! Okay well right now it's just the filler page, but it's a start! I'm debating on which number to use, home or cell, for business cards and such. One of The Commander's many skills is website design. So I told him today that I am using a template builder to do my site, and then later when I am more profitable, perhaps I can afford him! What I dig about him is that he totally gets the concept of multiple streams of income, and he actually works it! Yeah I get it, but thusfar haven't worked it. He's definitely an inspiration in that aspect.
Okay, Champagne is sleeping right now, so I'm gonna go take this opportunity to get a few things done around here.
Anyway, my little van passed the inspection today! Yay!!! You know the emissions inspections that most of us with "slightly older" model cars dread? Yeah, that one. Well, she passed! Once I get that transmission fixed, she'll be on fire!!! I can't wait either, because I'm ready to get us on the road again! Some weekend getaways will do me and the brood just fine.
Champagne (the female half of the WonderTwins) was sick today. No not really sick (fever was 101), just enough to keep me from working today. Just my luck of course. Did I tell you single parenting rules?? Oh yeah, and the icing on the cake? Daycare has a 24-hour rule about fevers, so I'll probably miss tomorrow too!
I know all you two-parenters are soooo envious, aren't you?
The Commander and I did have a cool conversation today. An additional ray of sun on this interesting day. Well, I can't say it was a bad day (even though this will count against my attendance record), and the emissions thing was so great!! He gave me some really great ideas to get a few extra bucks in the pocket. I will definitely take him up on that. I will keep you posted on how that goes.
Speaking of......(drum roll)......I got my website back!!!!! Yes, www.starrdom.com is back in business! Okay well right now it's just the filler page, but it's a start! I'm debating on which number to use, home or cell, for business cards and such. One of The Commander's many skills is website design. So I told him today that I am using a template builder to do my site, and then later when I am more profitable, perhaps I can afford him! What I dig about him is that he totally gets the concept of multiple streams of income, and he actually works it! Yeah I get it, but thusfar haven't worked it. He's definitely an inspiration in that aspect.
Okay, Champagne is sleeping right now, so I'm gonna go take this opportunity to get a few things done around here.
February 18, 2007
Sunday's News
I didn't go to church today. Honestly I really didn't want to put my little van through the paces. She seems to be running hard lately. I know I'm on borrowed time as it is with my transmission. In case I haven't mentioned it before, my car's transmission won't shift past second gear. So I can't really go faster than 45mph. Hey, if it ain't one thing, it's another! That's life.
Anyway, I have so much to do this evening. My sister is throwing a dinner party for my brother-in-law's birthday today. Tomorrow, my friend is watching the kids at my house since they have no school. This is the friend who brings her children every morning for me to take to school. So, I have to make sure to clean my house. Otherwise, she is a clean freak, so she'd be cleaning the entire day! That makes me feel like crap. I don't need to voluntarily feel like crap. She's not being condescending or anything, she actually is trying to help. But, the difference is I can sleep with dishes in the sink or clothes out of place!
So on top of all else I need to be doing this evening -like maybe relaxing my hair, I've got to clean. I've got to do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, put all clothes away, vaccuum all floors, and make sure no papers are out place. No, my house isn't filthy, this is just preventative.
So anyway, I probably have never talked about her children. She has a boy and a girl. Girl is 12 and boy is 5. The girl is going through the usual preteen stuff, except for the fact that she is failing terribly in school. Her mother is basically to the point of giving up, and has told her and all who will listen so. Unfortunately, I have discovered, as sweet as she (the mother) is, her coping skills are failing her. She is too medicated, yet still incredibly stressed out. She is in denial about the youngest. He is in kindergarten, and has been problematic since day one. Now, his teacher is to blame for part of it, but not as much as she wants to believe. My opinion? He is ADHD, no doubt. I'm not a medication person, since I know how strong Ritalin is. I know she would never go for that. But considering we are three-quarters into the school year, and he is still in trouble almost daily, something needs to happen. This is not just my opinion either. The school has already made mention more than once, and countless others have thought it as well.
I found out through another friend that ADHD can sometimes be managed with diet, especially restricting carbs. I did some online research on it, and thought I would share the info with her. No, I wasn't that blatant! Honestly I think my daughter is ADHD (ie the title Space Cadet), and so am I. That was my angle to introduce the subject, to see if she would show any interest. You could have heard a needle drop on carpet! So, I'm done discussing it with her. From now on, I will listen only. I will listen to her complain about how the teacher is picking on him or just being unfair. I will listen to her yell at him almost constantly, but then get mad at her mother if she yells at him. I will continue to be exhausted every morning by then time I drop them off at school. Yes, even to the woman with four children, this little boy is exhausting. But I will not bring it up again.
I will work on me and mine. The Space Cadet and Space Captain (that's me) will try to restrict our carbohydrate intake to see if that helps our focus. I will help those that want to be helped that I can control. I want my daughter to keep her grades as high as they are and be more social. I want to better maximize my time and get my business up and running. So, while I will still occasionally talk about my mostly imaginary "dating game", for the most part my focus will be back on taking care of me and my family, and doing all to insuring our future.
You'll see...
Anyway, I have so much to do this evening. My sister is throwing a dinner party for my brother-in-law's birthday today. Tomorrow, my friend is watching the kids at my house since they have no school. This is the friend who brings her children every morning for me to take to school. So, I have to make sure to clean my house. Otherwise, she is a clean freak, so she'd be cleaning the entire day! That makes me feel like crap. I don't need to voluntarily feel like crap. She's not being condescending or anything, she actually is trying to help. But, the difference is I can sleep with dishes in the sink or clothes out of place!
So on top of all else I need to be doing this evening -like maybe relaxing my hair, I've got to clean. I've got to do the dishes, clean the bathrooms, put all clothes away, vaccuum all floors, and make sure no papers are out place. No, my house isn't filthy, this is just preventative.
So anyway, I probably have never talked about her children. She has a boy and a girl. Girl is 12 and boy is 5. The girl is going through the usual preteen stuff, except for the fact that she is failing terribly in school. Her mother is basically to the point of giving up, and has told her and all who will listen so. Unfortunately, I have discovered, as sweet as she (the mother) is, her coping skills are failing her. She is too medicated, yet still incredibly stressed out. She is in denial about the youngest. He is in kindergarten, and has been problematic since day one. Now, his teacher is to blame for part of it, but not as much as she wants to believe. My opinion? He is ADHD, no doubt. I'm not a medication person, since I know how strong Ritalin is. I know she would never go for that. But considering we are three-quarters into the school year, and he is still in trouble almost daily, something needs to happen. This is not just my opinion either. The school has already made mention more than once, and countless others have thought it as well.
I found out through another friend that ADHD can sometimes be managed with diet, especially restricting carbs. I did some online research on it, and thought I would share the info with her. No, I wasn't that blatant! Honestly I think my daughter is ADHD (ie the title Space Cadet), and so am I. That was my angle to introduce the subject, to see if she would show any interest. You could have heard a needle drop on carpet! So, I'm done discussing it with her. From now on, I will listen only. I will listen to her complain about how the teacher is picking on him or just being unfair. I will listen to her yell at him almost constantly, but then get mad at her mother if she yells at him. I will continue to be exhausted every morning by then time I drop them off at school. Yes, even to the woman with four children, this little boy is exhausting. But I will not bring it up again.
I will work on me and mine. The Space Cadet and Space Captain (that's me) will try to restrict our carbohydrate intake to see if that helps our focus. I will help those that want to be helped that I can control. I want my daughter to keep her grades as high as they are and be more social. I want to better maximize my time and get my business up and running. So, while I will still occasionally talk about my mostly imaginary "dating game", for the most part my focus will be back on taking care of me and my family, and doing all to insuring our future.
You'll see...
February 17, 2007
Did ya miss me?
It's been awhile. I know. Finances man, finances.
Things are better now. Taxes came in...taxes went out. All the bills got paid and caught up. So, I'm back on track now. That of course is the short version.
So what has happened during the blackout? I'm still out of shape and overweight. I still haven't relaxed my hair. I haven't been on a date. I had a date, but it was cancelled. Yeah, great huh?
Remember The New Guy? Yeah, that's a total loss. He finally admitted he made his choice. Who's surprised it wasn't me? Me neither.
Haven't really talked to PreacherMan much. Just not that excited about him. I get a player vibe when I talk to him. Maybe it's because he sounds so much like the WonderTwins' father. So, I'm cordial to him when I talk to him, but nothing is there. I have no real desire to meet him. At all.
The Major and I talk every day basically, either by phone or chatting on yahoo. I look forward to talking to him. I have already put a limit on this because he is far away. But we have a great time together, laughing and talking. I learn a lot from him business-wise just hearing about his day. I enjoy him, but I am very guarded. I just don't see it going anywhere. I don't know why...I just don't think it will get me to alter. No big deal, I am enjoying the ride.
The Commander? Him I like, though we have yet to meet. We were supposed to meet on the 16th for a movie date, but he cancelled on me. He's got some issues, as we all do. Not a bad thing. It just means we'll be friends and that's all. That is okay with me. Really. It is.
Really.
I haven't even met the man in person. We may not even have any chemistry. Yeah, he does seem like everything I could want. What's your point? Here's mine: So did the New Guy. I am in no rush to get into anything with anyone. Yes, if I had the choice, he would be it. But that is irrelevant because this is not our time.
He is very into getting his business marketed to the masses right now. I am also trying to get focused on business too. I am in the process of reading books. Kind of like my own self education. Right now I am reading Business Plan in a Day. After I go over it, I will go back and do exactly what it says to get my plan written. I am still debating how I want to do this travel part of my business. We'll talk about that later.
Having more family time right now...
Things are better now. Taxes came in...taxes went out. All the bills got paid and caught up. So, I'm back on track now. That of course is the short version.
So what has happened during the blackout? I'm still out of shape and overweight. I still haven't relaxed my hair. I haven't been on a date. I had a date, but it was cancelled. Yeah, great huh?
Remember The New Guy? Yeah, that's a total loss. He finally admitted he made his choice. Who's surprised it wasn't me? Me neither.
Haven't really talked to PreacherMan much. Just not that excited about him. I get a player vibe when I talk to him. Maybe it's because he sounds so much like the WonderTwins' father. So, I'm cordial to him when I talk to him, but nothing is there. I have no real desire to meet him. At all.
The Major and I talk every day basically, either by phone or chatting on yahoo. I look forward to talking to him. I have already put a limit on this because he is far away. But we have a great time together, laughing and talking. I learn a lot from him business-wise just hearing about his day. I enjoy him, but I am very guarded. I just don't see it going anywhere. I don't know why...I just don't think it will get me to alter. No big deal, I am enjoying the ride.
The Commander? Him I like, though we have yet to meet. We were supposed to meet on the 16th for a movie date, but he cancelled on me. He's got some issues, as we all do. Not a bad thing. It just means we'll be friends and that's all. That is okay with me. Really. It is.
Really.
I haven't even met the man in person. We may not even have any chemistry. Yeah, he does seem like everything I could want. What's your point? Here's mine: So did the New Guy. I am in no rush to get into anything with anyone. Yes, if I had the choice, he would be it. But that is irrelevant because this is not our time.
He is very into getting his business marketed to the masses right now. I am also trying to get focused on business too. I am in the process of reading books. Kind of like my own self education. Right now I am reading Business Plan in a Day. After I go over it, I will go back and do exactly what it says to get my plan written. I am still debating how I want to do this travel part of my business. We'll talk about that later.
Having more family time right now...
January 13, 2007
The Dating Game
So apparently, I'm playing it again. Kicking and screaming the whole way.
People, I don't like dating. I'm not good at dating.
So how about we not call it dating, ok? Yeah, yeah. That'll work!
Well, I think I've made some new friends. Can't say any are really love connections at this time. But perhaps because I was recently slapped into reality from The New Guy, I am bit more cautious now. My best friend would be pleased. But, unless she's reading my blog, she doesn't know...and doesn't care to know. Which is okay with me. Anyway, that's another story. We're all different, and have different ways of doing things. That's what makes us all unique, and yet the same.
First, there's Major. He's divorced with one child. Currently he is on the East Coast but comes back here once a month for his business. He owns his own company in addition the 22 years he's been in the Army. We get along well so far. We can laugh and joke very easy. There is definitely a comfortable feeling there. We chat on yahoo more than we talk on the phone, which is okay with both of us. He came in town this weekend and I got to meet him. He is my height standing face-to-face. Yes, I had on heels. I always have on heels! That doesn't bother me or him though. He's a gentleman, holding doors and things. We talked about family and world events and whatever came to mind. There was no awkwardness. We even watch the football game together. I think we'll see each other again.
Then there's PreacherMan. I have talked to him on the phone once now. We talked for about an hour. We started off laughing from the get-go, so good sign for me. He is a former US Marine (!), 12years, divorced with 3 girls (I laughed), and currently works for the state of Missouri. He is very interested in meeting me, but I want to take that one a little slower. He professes to be a minister and due to my experiences with ministers and the like (PsychoRev, the slumlord, The New Guy), I am very wary! I told him so too! We'll see what happens.
Then there is the Commander. I like him!! We have not talked at this point. We don't even have each other's phone number, on purpose. We will get online and chat for hours, and it's hard to sign off. He is very involved at his church, which is a plus for me. He is also former military, 12 or 14years I think, Army. He's 6'3", and from what I see has a very commanding presence (thus the name). He has two boys, 18 and 17. He is divorced. Y'all, one of the first times we chatted together, this man prayed! PRAYED!! It could be a ploy I know, but the prayer was wonderful...and very refreshing. He flirts a little, I flirt a little, but we keep the tone very respectable. He let me know tonight that he is not looking for a relationship right now, just a friend. Then later he confessed to me that if he was looking, I would be exactly what he was looking for, and to keep the friends option open for further developments. I thought that was cute.
That really opened my eyes to the fact that - like my best friend said- I should stop putting so much effort into dating (well, she specified online dating, which she personally doesn't like), and focus on the important stuff in my life. My kids and getting my business off the ground, for example. I am very cool with the idea of me and the guys being friends and getting to know each other first. Most especially the Commander. I definitely have some things within my own life and world that I need to get smoothed out. Then the whole dating thing will fall into place later, exactly when God says so.
I told you, I don't like dating. Dating blows.
People, I don't like dating. I'm not good at dating.
So how about we not call it dating, ok? Yeah, yeah. That'll work!
Well, I think I've made some new friends. Can't say any are really love connections at this time. But perhaps because I was recently slapped into reality from The New Guy, I am bit more cautious now. My best friend would be pleased. But, unless she's reading my blog, she doesn't know...and doesn't care to know. Which is okay with me. Anyway, that's another story. We're all different, and have different ways of doing things. That's what makes us all unique, and yet the same.
First, there's Major. He's divorced with one child. Currently he is on the East Coast but comes back here once a month for his business. He owns his own company in addition the 22 years he's been in the Army. We get along well so far. We can laugh and joke very easy. There is definitely a comfortable feeling there. We chat on yahoo more than we talk on the phone, which is okay with both of us. He came in town this weekend and I got to meet him. He is my height standing face-to-face. Yes, I had on heels. I always have on heels! That doesn't bother me or him though. He's a gentleman, holding doors and things. We talked about family and world events and whatever came to mind. There was no awkwardness. We even watch the football game together. I think we'll see each other again.
Then there's PreacherMan. I have talked to him on the phone once now. We talked for about an hour. We started off laughing from the get-go, so good sign for me. He is a former US Marine (!), 12years, divorced with 3 girls (I laughed), and currently works for the state of Missouri. He is very interested in meeting me, but I want to take that one a little slower. He professes to be a minister and due to my experiences with ministers and the like (PsychoRev, the slumlord, The New Guy), I am very wary! I told him so too! We'll see what happens.
Then there is the Commander. I like him!! We have not talked at this point. We don't even have each other's phone number, on purpose. We will get online and chat for hours, and it's hard to sign off. He is very involved at his church, which is a plus for me. He is also former military, 12 or 14years I think, Army. He's 6'3", and from what I see has a very commanding presence (thus the name). He has two boys, 18 and 17. He is divorced. Y'all, one of the first times we chatted together, this man prayed! PRAYED!! It could be a ploy I know, but the prayer was wonderful...and very refreshing. He flirts a little, I flirt a little, but we keep the tone very respectable. He let me know tonight that he is not looking for a relationship right now, just a friend. Then later he confessed to me that if he was looking, I would be exactly what he was looking for, and to keep the friends option open for further developments. I thought that was cute.
That really opened my eyes to the fact that - like my best friend said- I should stop putting so much effort into dating (well, she specified online dating, which she personally doesn't like), and focus on the important stuff in my life. My kids and getting my business off the ground, for example. I am very cool with the idea of me and the guys being friends and getting to know each other first. Most especially the Commander. I definitely have some things within my own life and world that I need to get smoothed out. Then the whole dating thing will fall into place later, exactly when God says so.
I told you, I don't like dating. Dating blows.
It's Saturday!!!
So the general consensus is this has been a long week. But yay, we all survived, and are better for it!
So. as for the highlights from "earlier". Yes, I did talk to The New Guy. We talked for about 15minutes. He finally got up enough nerve to call he said. He is really no further along in solving his dilemma. He said honestly he has used his coursework as a reason not to have to deal with it right now. He said he is not able to get much of coursework done -ironically- because he is so confused on this personal matter. What he did say that I totally agreed with was that he believes this is yet another trick of the devil to keep him from being focused and doing excellent on his coursework. As a reminder, he is studying theology to one day become an ordained minister. Hey, whether you belive it or not, that's exactly what the devil does.
He was also worried about me resenting him later if I moved over to where he is. We ended the conversation because he was tired, and I sent him an emailed response the next day. Here's the excerpt:
"Why would I resent you for making me happy? It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am happy with you and living my life according to God’s purpose, there is no room in my heart for resentment. When I said what I said about where we would live, you maybe thought I was saying it to win brownie points or something. I was not. I meant every word. That’s just who I am. And you know what? Quite frankly, even if by some chance I am not happy, there is still no room for resentment in my heart. In case you forgot my dear, I am a grown woman. You cannot ‘make me’ do anything I don’t already want to do. My choice to come to you would be just that, my decision. "
Did I make myself clear enough? So, he'll call me when he's ready...or not. I'm okay either way.
Yes, you're right. I have met someone else! No, I can't tell you right now. I've got more updates to do.
Then there is Emmarita (not real name). This is the friend I talked to through myspace, afterlosing contact with her in 1999!! We were best girls in high school, and then we had a major falling out. Typical high school stuff, but a guy was involved so you know the drill. We didn't speak for months, but we slowly came around. They got married and he joined the military, so we saw each other before they left. Of course they broke up, and he is definitely a deadbeat dad to those children. But like me, Emm is a strong black woman, she can hold her own just fine. I also got an email from our other friend, who I haven't seen or talked to since a little after high school, Dani (also not her real name). I haven't talked to her yet, but I will catch up this weekend for sure.
Life is short and this really makes me want to keep up with some of my older friends better, and make an effort to reach out to some new ones that I've been neglecting. I will keep you posted on that, of course.
Ending this on a high note, take a look at this link. If you don't know about the power of prayer and how good God is, this should help:
http://www.kmov.com/topstories/stories/kmov_localnews_070112_boysfound.33671421.html
So. as for the highlights from "earlier". Yes, I did talk to The New Guy. We talked for about 15minutes. He finally got up enough nerve to call he said. He is really no further along in solving his dilemma. He said honestly he has used his coursework as a reason not to have to deal with it right now. He said he is not able to get much of coursework done -ironically- because he is so confused on this personal matter. What he did say that I totally agreed with was that he believes this is yet another trick of the devil to keep him from being focused and doing excellent on his coursework. As a reminder, he is studying theology to one day become an ordained minister. Hey, whether you belive it or not, that's exactly what the devil does.
He was also worried about me resenting him later if I moved over to where he is. We ended the conversation because he was tired, and I sent him an emailed response the next day. Here's the excerpt:
"Why would I resent you for making me happy? It doesn’t matter where I am. If I am happy with you and living my life according to God’s purpose, there is no room in my heart for resentment. When I said what I said about where we would live, you maybe thought I was saying it to win brownie points or something. I was not. I meant every word. That’s just who I am. And you know what? Quite frankly, even if by some chance I am not happy, there is still no room for resentment in my heart. In case you forgot my dear, I am a grown woman. You cannot ‘make me’ do anything I don’t already want to do. My choice to come to you would be just that, my decision. "
Did I make myself clear enough? So, he'll call me when he's ready...or not. I'm okay either way.
Yes, you're right. I have met someone else! No, I can't tell you right now. I've got more updates to do.
Then there is Emmarita (not real name). This is the friend I talked to through myspace, afterlosing contact with her in 1999!! We were best girls in high school, and then we had a major falling out. Typical high school stuff, but a guy was involved so you know the drill. We didn't speak for months, but we slowly came around. They got married and he joined the military, so we saw each other before they left. Of course they broke up, and he is definitely a deadbeat dad to those children. But like me, Emm is a strong black woman, she can hold her own just fine. I also got an email from our other friend, who I haven't seen or talked to since a little after high school, Dani (also not her real name). I haven't talked to her yet, but I will catch up this weekend for sure.
Life is short and this really makes me want to keep up with some of my older friends better, and make an effort to reach out to some new ones that I've been neglecting. I will keep you posted on that, of course.
Ending this on a high note, take a look at this link. If you don't know about the power of prayer and how good God is, this should help:
http://www.kmov.com/topstories/stories/kmov_localnews_070112_boysfound.33671421.html
January 10, 2007
It's Only Wednesday???
Is is time for vacation yet???
Be back later with some exciting updates from yesterday! I'll give you the highlights like they do on the news (if you could call death, robbery, and destruction "highlights"):
Be back later with some exciting updates from yesterday! I'll give you the highlights like they do on the news (if you could call death, robbery, and destruction "highlights"):
- I talked to The New Guy
- I talked to a very good friend for the first time in almost 8 years
- I have the number for another good friend who I haven't talked to since sometime after high school
- I'm getting myself together!
"Film at 11"
January 8, 2007
"Call It"
Well, this is the point that I can sadly say we better call the time of death of the relationship between me and The New Guy. I got a brief email from him on Friday, only after I had emailed him twice. I didn't hear a peep all weekend. Even though there's a significant part of me that still wants to hold on because we clicked so perfectly, common sense is telling me the writing is on the wall. That's really too bad.
I have begun trying to make myself available to others. I corresponded with one guy first by email then chat this weekend. He was in the St. Louis area when he made his profile, but he has since relocated to Virginia. Ironically, he has a business here so he visits every month. I'm supposed to be meeting him for coffee sometime next Saturday afternoon. He sent me pictures of himself, three of them. Not disappointing at all, he's a decent looking guy. Looks like he's got a cool sense of humor. The chat got pretty intense last night, but I did let him that was just "in my head", and nothing like that would happen in real life. We exchanged phone numbers and I'm supposed to call him sometime this week to confirm the when and where. Here are the basics: 5' 10", average build, bald (by choice), nice smile, 39 years old, almost 22 year Army vet with about 18months to go he says, divorced with 1 child. I'll keep you posted.
I had even set up an 'adults-only' after hours meeting with Can't Get Right/The One for this weekend. Apparently divine intervention kept us from connecting though. Yeah, we'll keep trying.
After waiting ALL DAY on Saturday, I have a working and clean refrigerator again. The original delivery time was between 10-11 am, then it went to by 1p, then by 3p. Okay by now the majority of my day is shot. So about 530p I gave up. I told my mom about it, and she was getting herself very upset. I refused to be upset. I just simply said I would call them first thing this morning to have her refund ready when she got there after work. Then about 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. So there you have it! One thing down, a few more to go.
I still haven't gotten my sink fixed yet. I will take the part with me today, and go to a hardware store to have it replaced, then I'll try to do it myself.
The Slumlord and his wife responded to my letter with a doozie of their own. One that, in their haste, has caused them to start digging themselves a hole. I saw a relative of the wife's in the backyard on Saturday getting rid of the tree debris that's been there since the Ice Storm. Funny how you never mentioned it before, but when I brought it up in writing, all of a sudden it got done. Their excuse in the letter was that the insurance company was moving slow. Then explain to me why a relative of the wife was the one doing the removal? How do I know it was a relative? Because their personalized license plates matched the wife's maiden name! Then there are things in the letter that they flat out LIED about. Other things they just refused to address.
What's sad is that this man is supposed to be a minister or pastor of a church. All they are concerned about is getting their monthly rent every month, and don't want to do anything else. That, ladies and gentleman, is a Slumlord. I don't care how nice the neighborhood is, it is what it is.
On a lighter note, the WonderTwins father saw then on Saturday, for the first time since 2005. Yes I said 2005. The Bruzer of course didn't know him, but he was fine just the same. Ms. Thing was her usual 'hard' self when it comes to meeting strangers. She'll look at you and kind of smirk, but she will keep her distance. I even told her who he was, and she basically like "whatever". He gave them money about $60 and said he would be back the following weekend when he got paid again. For whatever reason, he went home and brought his girlfriend with him and, according to him, she had an attitude in the car. Because of that he only stayed about 5 minutes. I did take a picture of the three of them though. We'll see how this plays out.
Okay so cross your fingers that The New Guy totally realizes the error of ways and calls me to apologize and earn his way back into my heart!
What?
It could happen.
I have begun trying to make myself available to others. I corresponded with one guy first by email then chat this weekend. He was in the St. Louis area when he made his profile, but he has since relocated to Virginia. Ironically, he has a business here so he visits every month. I'm supposed to be meeting him for coffee sometime next Saturday afternoon. He sent me pictures of himself, three of them. Not disappointing at all, he's a decent looking guy. Looks like he's got a cool sense of humor. The chat got pretty intense last night, but I did let him that was just "in my head", and nothing like that would happen in real life. We exchanged phone numbers and I'm supposed to call him sometime this week to confirm the when and where. Here are the basics: 5' 10", average build, bald (by choice), nice smile, 39 years old, almost 22 year Army vet with about 18months to go he says, divorced with 1 child. I'll keep you posted.
I had even set up an 'adults-only' after hours meeting with Can't Get Right/The One for this weekend. Apparently divine intervention kept us from connecting though. Yeah, we'll keep trying.
After waiting ALL DAY on Saturday, I have a working and clean refrigerator again. The original delivery time was between 10-11 am, then it went to by 1p, then by 3p. Okay by now the majority of my day is shot. So about 530p I gave up. I told my mom about it, and she was getting herself very upset. I refused to be upset. I just simply said I would call them first thing this morning to have her refund ready when she got there after work. Then about 10 minutes later, the doorbell rang. So there you have it! One thing down, a few more to go.
I still haven't gotten my sink fixed yet. I will take the part with me today, and go to a hardware store to have it replaced, then I'll try to do it myself.
The Slumlord and his wife responded to my letter with a doozie of their own. One that, in their haste, has caused them to start digging themselves a hole. I saw a relative of the wife's in the backyard on Saturday getting rid of the tree debris that's been there since the Ice Storm. Funny how you never mentioned it before, but when I brought it up in writing, all of a sudden it got done. Their excuse in the letter was that the insurance company was moving slow. Then explain to me why a relative of the wife was the one doing the removal? How do I know it was a relative? Because their personalized license plates matched the wife's maiden name! Then there are things in the letter that they flat out LIED about. Other things they just refused to address.
What's sad is that this man is supposed to be a minister or pastor of a church. All they are concerned about is getting their monthly rent every month, and don't want to do anything else. That, ladies and gentleman, is a Slumlord. I don't care how nice the neighborhood is, it is what it is.
On a lighter note, the WonderTwins father saw then on Saturday, for the first time since 2005. Yes I said 2005. The Bruzer of course didn't know him, but he was fine just the same. Ms. Thing was her usual 'hard' self when it comes to meeting strangers. She'll look at you and kind of smirk, but she will keep her distance. I even told her who he was, and she basically like "whatever". He gave them money about $60 and said he would be back the following weekend when he got paid again. For whatever reason, he went home and brought his girlfriend with him and, according to him, she had an attitude in the car. Because of that he only stayed about 5 minutes. I did take a picture of the three of them though. We'll see how this plays out.
Okay so cross your fingers that The New Guy totally realizes the error of ways and calls me to apologize and earn his way back into my heart!
What?
It could happen.
January 4, 2007
Rainy Days
Today was a dreary rainy day. I don't do well on dreary rainy days.
Seriously.
My mood goes all screwy. I'm still good on the phones for my clients, but I'm "off" attitude-wise.
Then it doesn't help that The New Guy has thrown me a serious curve ball. I really don't know what to think. Here's the skinny:
He told me he has feelings for someone else, as well as me. He said this came about very unexpectedly. Someone he has known for a very long time, they go to the same church together, there has been a mutual attraction for some time now. WTH?!?!?!?! I have not talked to him in a few days, as he has requested time to think things through. I had made my profile unsearchable on both dating sites I was on, and I told him so. I even answered 'the question' right before this happened, agreeing to be his girlfriend. But apparently this other person surfaced before I did, and he was already getting confused.
He has apologized profusely. He says that nothing has happened between them, that their attraction has been discussed. But, it was enough to make him reconsider us being together. He is not dumping me by any means. But he has also admitted that he wouldn't blame me if I didn't wait for him to figure things out. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and I am trying to give him the space he needs to figure this out. I am not being a doormat, I promise. I understand how it feels to be torn -even if only superficially- between two.
Yes I said it. Superficially. I am speaking positiveness into this situation. He said a few things to me today by email that led me to believe he really does want to be with me. Sounds self-delusional doesn't it? But I read somethings in his emails today that flat out let me know this situation is temporary.
No. I'm not putting myself on hold for someone I've known a few weeks.
Yes. I did make my profiles searchable again on the dating sites I belong to.
I will not try to contact him by phone again, until he calls me. I will let him make the moves. I send him an email in the morning to say Good Morning. He can make any additional moves from there.
Now, let me be honest. The connection with him was/is awesome. I have dissected the relationship thus far, and I just hadn't seen any red flags. With the PsychoRev, tons of red flags. At least a gajillion. We have talked about everything but credit, finances and taxes. We know a lot about each other's previous marriages and relationships. I feel like, we just know a lot about each other. I don't feel any different now, and I don't believe he does either. So the word of the week is Patience.
On a lighter note, I have been fasting this week. Well since Tuesday at least. I am going to plan for at least two weeks. I am pretty pleases that I have been making it so far, considering my hypoglycemia. I have been drinking juice, water, and eating apples and oranges throughout the day. Then I eat dinner, and that's that. I am kind of on this corporate fast with my coworker's church. Yes the church I went to before. I am actually proud of the sacrifice I am making. As a symbol of the sacrifices my Savior made for me.
Amen!
Seriously.
My mood goes all screwy. I'm still good on the phones for my clients, but I'm "off" attitude-wise.
Then it doesn't help that The New Guy has thrown me a serious curve ball. I really don't know what to think. Here's the skinny:
He told me he has feelings for someone else, as well as me. He said this came about very unexpectedly. Someone he has known for a very long time, they go to the same church together, there has been a mutual attraction for some time now. WTH?!?!?!?! I have not talked to him in a few days, as he has requested time to think things through. I had made my profile unsearchable on both dating sites I was on, and I told him so. I even answered 'the question' right before this happened, agreeing to be his girlfriend. But apparently this other person surfaced before I did, and he was already getting confused.
He has apologized profusely. He says that nothing has happened between them, that their attraction has been discussed. But, it was enough to make him reconsider us being together. He is not dumping me by any means. But he has also admitted that he wouldn't blame me if I didn't wait for him to figure things out. We have emailed and chatted a few times, and I am trying to give him the space he needs to figure this out. I am not being a doormat, I promise. I understand how it feels to be torn -even if only superficially- between two.
Yes I said it. Superficially. I am speaking positiveness into this situation. He said a few things to me today by email that led me to believe he really does want to be with me. Sounds self-delusional doesn't it? But I read somethings in his emails today that flat out let me know this situation is temporary.
No. I'm not putting myself on hold for someone I've known a few weeks.
Yes. I did make my profiles searchable again on the dating sites I belong to.
I will not try to contact him by phone again, until he calls me. I will let him make the moves. I send him an email in the morning to say Good Morning. He can make any additional moves from there.
Now, let me be honest. The connection with him was/is awesome. I have dissected the relationship thus far, and I just hadn't seen any red flags. With the PsychoRev, tons of red flags. At least a gajillion. We have talked about everything but credit, finances and taxes. We know a lot about each other's previous marriages and relationships. I feel like, we just know a lot about each other. I don't feel any different now, and I don't believe he does either. So the word of the week is Patience.
On a lighter note, I have been fasting this week. Well since Tuesday at least. I am going to plan for at least two weeks. I am pretty pleases that I have been making it so far, considering my hypoglycemia. I have been drinking juice, water, and eating apples and oranges throughout the day. Then I eat dinner, and that's that. I am kind of on this corporate fast with my coworker's church. Yes the church I went to before. I am actually proud of the sacrifice I am making. As a symbol of the sacrifices my Savior made for me.
Amen!
January 2, 2007
I Can Think Clearly Now
That's what I always say after giving myself a relaxer! It has been a long, long time. Which was a bad thing, since I was not maintaining it properly. Most people think it's a bad thing to stretch a relaxer, and it is if you don't keep your hair plenty moisturized! I didn't. But I couldn't do it one more day. I didn't want to wake up one morning soon and my hair not!! So I am relaxed again, though it is far from super straight which is fine with me.
Got a shocker today. After pouring my heart out to the New Guy in an email this weekend, I felt I was getting the cold shoulder. Much to my surprise today, I was! He tells me that my email really blew his mind. He said he had a lot on his plate and a lot on his mind right now. Then, he said something about unresolved feelings for another that he either needed to explore or dissolve. Ouch!!! And you were going to share this when exactly? Considering I was totally diggin this guy and had already told him I would be his girlfriend, this was HUGE! I don't know what to do from here. Do I give him a few days or a week, and then repost my ad in the personals? Oh yeah, I even told him I was making my yahoo ad 'unsearchable'. Am I honestly supposed to wait on him to try to spark this other relationship? Then what? If it doesn't work, he comes back to me? Um, that's not looking like a good option.
I am going to give him the time he needs, but I am also going make my ad searchable again. I will not be put on the shelf for anyone, perfect for me or not.
On another note, Can't Get Right/The One wanted to ring in the new year with me and his daughter. We were at my sister's house though, so we missed him.
I have GOT to get myself refocused!!!Now that the kinks are out of my brain, I may have a chance!
Got a shocker today. After pouring my heart out to the New Guy in an email this weekend, I felt I was getting the cold shoulder. Much to my surprise today, I was! He tells me that my email really blew his mind. He said he had a lot on his plate and a lot on his mind right now. Then, he said something about unresolved feelings for another that he either needed to explore or dissolve. Ouch!!! And you were going to share this when exactly? Considering I was totally diggin this guy and had already told him I would be his girlfriend, this was HUGE! I don't know what to do from here. Do I give him a few days or a week, and then repost my ad in the personals? Oh yeah, I even told him I was making my yahoo ad 'unsearchable'. Am I honestly supposed to wait on him to try to spark this other relationship? Then what? If it doesn't work, he comes back to me? Um, that's not looking like a good option.
I am going to give him the time he needs, but I am also going make my ad searchable again. I will not be put on the shelf for anyone, perfect for me or not.
On another note, Can't Get Right/The One wanted to ring in the new year with me and his daughter. We were at my sister's house though, so we missed him.
I have GOT to get myself refocused!!!Now that the kinks are out of my brain, I may have a chance!
January 1, 2007
New Year's Modifications
Yes, I did say "modifications" and not "resolutions". I don't believe in New Year's Resolutions. You are automatically destined to fail with those! You know I'm right. Admit it.
Instead, I am doing some modifications to my life. Things to make it better, and help me to achieve my goals better. I'll do it in list form, how about that?
Start and keep a prayer journal. Even if it's only a line or two, I will write EVERYDAY.
I will lose weight and become completely physically fit. I do plan to try a Master Cleanse followed by a fruit fast for a few weeks every quarter. I want to exercise daily on my TotalGym, pick back up on my 100 crunches daily, and also do Winsor Pilates 3x a week.
Take better care of my hair and skin. First off, Ms. Lazy here has to actually wash her face more than just in the morning! Yeah that means, starting a nighttime ritual of washing my face and brushing (and flossing!) my teeth. I will wash and deep condition my hair weekly, avoiding heat, and protecting my ends to maintain length. I want my hair to grow from "brushing-the-shoulders" length to armpit length by the summer, and bra-strap lenth by my birthday in November.
I want to continue on the road to credit recovery with my microloans, paying as agreed. Also, I plan to clear up the smaller things on my credit report and work on more ways to put positive things on my report.
Become a steady seller on ebay. I want to buy at resale shops and resell on ebay, hopefully bringing in an extra few hundred dollars a month in profit. First off, I plan to sell whatever is unsused around this house, then go from there!
Start my virtual assistant company, StarrDom Administrative Services. I am in the process of deciding who my client base will be, and will complete my business plan in January. I also plan to join ytb for travel incentives.
Re-involve myself and my children in church and other social activities. I want to find more business networking opportunities for myself. I want to reinvolve my children in Scouts as well as another physical activity. Also, I want all of us actively involved in the choir at church.
I will add more as I think of additional Modifications that need to be made.
What about you?
Instead, I am doing some modifications to my life. Things to make it better, and help me to achieve my goals better. I'll do it in list form, how about that?
Start and keep a prayer journal. Even if it's only a line or two, I will write EVERYDAY.
I will lose weight and become completely physically fit. I do plan to try a Master Cleanse followed by a fruit fast for a few weeks every quarter. I want to exercise daily on my TotalGym, pick back up on my 100 crunches daily, and also do Winsor Pilates 3x a week.
Take better care of my hair and skin. First off, Ms. Lazy here has to actually wash her face more than just in the morning! Yeah that means, starting a nighttime ritual of washing my face and brushing (and flossing!) my teeth. I will wash and deep condition my hair weekly, avoiding heat, and protecting my ends to maintain length. I want my hair to grow from "brushing-the-shoulders" length to armpit length by the summer, and bra-strap lenth by my birthday in November.
I want to continue on the road to credit recovery with my microloans, paying as agreed. Also, I plan to clear up the smaller things on my credit report and work on more ways to put positive things on my report.
Become a steady seller on ebay. I want to buy at resale shops and resell on ebay, hopefully bringing in an extra few hundred dollars a month in profit. First off, I plan to sell whatever is unsused around this house, then go from there!
Start my virtual assistant company, StarrDom Administrative Services. I am in the process of deciding who my client base will be, and will complete my business plan in January. I also plan to join ytb for travel incentives.
Re-involve myself and my children in church and other social activities. I want to find more business networking opportunities for myself. I want to reinvolve my children in Scouts as well as another physical activity. Also, I want all of us actively involved in the choir at church.
I will add more as I think of additional Modifications that need to be made.
What about you?
Merry New Year
Okay so -once again- it's been awhile. Here are the updates:
I still don't have a refrigerator. I left my landlord a voicemail on Monday then again on Friday after no callback. This was the week before Christmas. He left me a voicemail telling me how he didn't appreciate me calling his house with an attitude. He also said he didn't know the refrigerator looked the way it did, but he was trying to do ME a favor!!! Do ME a favor?!?!?!?! Supplying a refrigerator for his property is doing ME a favor! Yeah, okay.
So I began my paper trail. Honestly I wanted to pack up my stuff and run from this place, since he definitely wants his key back (at least that's the way he acts). I wrote him a very professional letter detailing all issues that are currently being dealt with in the house, that need to be handled by him most expediously. I followed proper procedures, giving timelines to request all issues be handled. He finally called back to let me know he hadn't had time to look for a refrigerator so I could do it and let him know. The saga continues...
I really wasn't in much of a Holiday mood this year. I never did put up a tree. Things were just so heavy on me, I just couldn't shake it. Not like depression, just pressure. Everything is up to me pressure. I am barely maintaining, but I'm holding on in faith. Right now I am hanging in there for tax return season. That's my light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to get everything caught up and a little ahead, so that I can maintain my budget from there.
Things are going okay with me and The New Guy. We have been getting along really well, although I think he is getting scared and therefore retreating. He did tell me he has some school work that was getting behind that he is on a deadline for. So I told him I would be patient and allow him to do what he needs to do. I just hope he is not taking this as an opportunity to bow out. If so then well, it wasn't meant to be. I guess we will see, won't we? I think the best thing for me to do is just back off and allow him to continue pursuing me at his own pace. I feel like I'm getting a little too overzealous (as I have a tendency to do). To be continued...
I still don't have a refrigerator. I left my landlord a voicemail on Monday then again on Friday after no callback. This was the week before Christmas. He left me a voicemail telling me how he didn't appreciate me calling his house with an attitude. He also said he didn't know the refrigerator looked the way it did, but he was trying to do ME a favor!!! Do ME a favor?!?!?!?! Supplying a refrigerator for his property is doing ME a favor! Yeah, okay.
So I began my paper trail. Honestly I wanted to pack up my stuff and run from this place, since he definitely wants his key back (at least that's the way he acts). I wrote him a very professional letter detailing all issues that are currently being dealt with in the house, that need to be handled by him most expediously. I followed proper procedures, giving timelines to request all issues be handled. He finally called back to let me know he hadn't had time to look for a refrigerator so I could do it and let him know. The saga continues...
I really wasn't in much of a Holiday mood this year. I never did put up a tree. Things were just so heavy on me, I just couldn't shake it. Not like depression, just pressure. Everything is up to me pressure. I am barely maintaining, but I'm holding on in faith. Right now I am hanging in there for tax return season. That's my light at the end of the tunnel. I just want to get everything caught up and a little ahead, so that I can maintain my budget from there.
Things are going okay with me and The New Guy. We have been getting along really well, although I think he is getting scared and therefore retreating. He did tell me he has some school work that was getting behind that he is on a deadline for. So I told him I would be patient and allow him to do what he needs to do. I just hope he is not taking this as an opportunity to bow out. If so then well, it wasn't meant to be. I guess we will see, won't we? I think the best thing for me to do is just back off and allow him to continue pursuing me at his own pace. I feel like I'm getting a little too overzealous (as I have a tendency to do). To be continued...
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